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About rigatron

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  1. I am 27 years old and have been off and on antidepressants since I was about 16. I have had most success with Cymbalta 60mg. However, cymbalta makes it hard for me to get an erection, so I am looking for other options. Over the past 8 months I have been weaning myself off cymbalta, first to 40 mg for a few months, then to 30mg for a few months. A little over a week ago I stopped the cymbalta entirely and started taking Wellbutrin 150mg. I'm not sure if I can feel anything from that, but I am definitely feeling the cymbalta wearing off and the dark cloud coming. I have also been taking Buspirone 10mg twice a day for a few months, but I can't really feel a difference from that I don't think. I think my problem is mainly with anxiety, and not really depression, although I am definitely depressed. I am downright scared of people. I am always anxious and fearful of nothing. When I am walking around the cubical farm at work, when someone is walking around the corner at the same time, I sometimes will jolt back because I am so on edge. I think I walk around with an anxious/fearful look on my face, which I think other people find off putting. I am anxious and look anxious, which makes people uneasy about me, which in turn makes me more anxious, so it's kind of a cycle. I think I in general have an 'asshole face', and people's natural reaction to my physicality is negative. I think people see me looking anxious, and they either see a potential threat or a potential victim of abuse. I am constantly the victim of abuse both from people I know and strangers. I think people just see me as an easy target to take their sadism out on. I think my most fundamental problem is that I deeply want to be liked and accepted by others, but am usually not liked and accepted. I have always had a sense of being an outsider, even going back to childhood. In highschool I would constantly smoke pot because it was something to do with friends, even though I knew it was bad for my anxiety. I think that humans are basically just monkeys with a more complicated social structure, and I have been determined to be an undesirable, and am destined to live a lonely life filled with abuse. I don't want to make this too long, so thank you to anyone who has read this. I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest, hopefully to some people that might be able to relate.
  2. Fetzima

    I just got put on Fetzima recently. Started out with 2 doses of 20mg, followed by 12 days of 40mg, and now I believe this has been the 6th day of 80mg. My doctor did this incremental dosage thing to prevent any nasuseaous symptoms, which I've had none of (sensitive stomach too, although maybe not totally relevant when talking about this). Been on and off of Cymbalta for years. Cymbalta has been by far the best antidepressant for myself. I mainly take antidepressants to reduce anxiety symptoms, although sometimes I do get the typical depressive symptoms too. I've been in a real funk lately, even having "suicidal ideations". My doc suggested I try Fetzima to avoid the inevitable sexual side effects of Cymbalta. Having not been taking Cymbalta for maybe a week now I'm already back to raging bull status. Fetzima is probably the most interesting drug I've ever taken. I have so much more energy to do the things I need to do. This is very important because I'm in engineering school, and am seeking a coop for the summer (I really shouldn't even be writing this hah, so even if I try my hardest to do everything I need to do, I will still probably fall short. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. My anxiety isn't particularly high, especially considering what it was just a month ago (near panic attacks), however it's different. It's hard to put into words, but with the added energy comes a sort of yellow haze or buzz. I wouldn't necessarily call it nervous energy, like I feel compelled to bounce my leg or something, but I feel like I'm walking around in a different world. It's not necessarily a bad world this way, definitely better than without anything, streets ahead there. It's just a bit of a weird feeling. Maybe my brain just needs a little recovery time to deal with all this stress it has been through for a long time. I don't know. Overall I would definitely recommend Fetzima to anyone who finds themselves having depressive symptoms, and feel zapped of energy or willpower. In that respect, I don't think I've ever felt better.