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About OliverB

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    Nut nut.

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  1. I don't think they damage your brain, I think they make more 'active' the pathways or different brain connection that makes psychosis happens. I think psychosis is so deep in me after so many years with them they will never go away, actually, I say psychosis because I know it's called psychosis, but for me it's still real (partial insight). I think Wonderland and etc... it's not wrong or bad, it's just another place, mystical abstract place, it's like having other eyes and reality looks different when I am in Wonderland even if I am in the same phyisical room. It's seeing others realities. I believe when I am in Wonderland (and even if I am still in my room it's my wonderland room which feels different than my regular everyoneland room) it's real, just a different reality. I guess a psychiatrist would say I am delusional but I just have the ability of 'changing my eyes' and see other realities, the same physical space but through another vision/reality/eyes. I have tried all AAP except clorazil, and amisulpride it's the only one that makes Wonderland dissapear (not all the time, I have Wonder-time some minutes a day) and silent voices. I have tried typical antipsychotic too, and they just sedated me. Anyway, I won't be forever on amisulpride, once I learn to move and live in everyone else world and enjoy what there is here I will stop the antipsychotic (my psychiatrist said I don't have to take it forever), I will do it slowly to find a balance between realities.
  2. I hope everybody is doing OK, I have been a bit messy and crazy about Wonderland not being here, so I haven't read the forum too much, sorry. I have been in Wonderland/Netherland, the Other World and behind reality so much time it was almost all my life. Now I find myself stuck between these realities and "Everyone else reality". I am trying to keep what it was good from other realities and translate into Everyone else reality, I have found this is what is making me more functioning, and what made today a happy day.
  3. I have began to see Wonderland and the entities outside, in the real life World. I have cleaned my guinea pigs cage and played with them, which I haven't done before. Everything is a bit more clear... ironically the low dose of amislupride I am taking blocks first presynaptic autoreceptors so the cell doesn't know how much dopamine is enough, so it's increased.
  4. Thank you both. My psychiatrist is thinking on adding an stimulant (Ritalin), and if he doesn't do it, I will ask him to give me bupropion again, at least that helped a little bit. Caffein also helps a lot.
  5. I think I need to make some kind of tribute or invocation or something for the entities (from Wonderland). I have been drawing them even if they won't appear. At least my pdoc doesn't want me on an AP forever, just for some months...
  6. bad, because he didn't give me the stimulant, but not that bad since he said he would think about it and tell me next tuesday. I will be sedated and sleeping all day until then.
  7. He said he has to think about the ritalin and will tell me his decision next tuesday. I told them what I did yesterday and he gave me Nozinan (levomepromazine) to sedate and sleep. I will sleep until tuesday, I don't want to be awake without my things.
  8. I will... I see him in 30 minutes. .... Hope he gives ritalin a try. It has a 2-4h half life, and I see him at a day hospital, if I get more psychotic he would notice it.
  9. Wah, I have been sleeping almost al day, I took 100mg od diazepam in total, 50mg 1h ago and 1200mg of gapaentin and 2mg of lormeptazema. SOrry for misspeling I am a bit confused. I think this is a crisis, a weird one, I want a mild psychosis back to ehar my boices annd go wonderland.
  10. Low dose of amsulpride blocks first presynaptic autoreceptors which increase dopamine release, while wellbutrin is a DNRI. What do you think about this combo? I am going to talk about this with my pdoc tomorrow.
  11. Fuck life, I took 50mg of diazepam in total. I hope to sleep at leas 8hours.
  12. Better 10mg more of diazepam. and 900mg gabapentin I cannot live without them
  13. If he doesn't add bupropion or a stimulant I will stop the AP. Meanwhile, in the morning, I am going to take 20mg more of diazepam and 2mg of lormatazepam to fall asleep. I cannot stand being awake without them.
  14. I haven't had any problem with the psychosis or the schizophrenia diagnosis, but I had with the borderline PD misdiagnosis...