OliverB

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About OliverB

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  1. Just looking from fresh 2017 experiences from it...
  2. I have PRN antipsychotic for mixed episodes since I become seriously homicidal and suicidal, but I don't take any on a regular basis,everyday i only take pregabalin 75mg to stay calm, concerta to study better when i have a lot to do, and clonazepam if I cannot sleep. 1. I don't find a difference of the mood and psychotic episodes frequency if I take AP diarly. 2. If I have a psychotic episode or mood while on an AP I have to increase it or change it, while if it just PRN it works at lowest dosage. But it is my case.... I cannot tolerate AP at long terms.
  3. I had a bad mixed episode and now I am SZA... so from SZ with mood alterations that are not enough to diagnose a bipolar episode to having a mixed episode and therfore SZA.
  4. I am sorry, I don't have any advice since I don't know exactly how it works in your country to find a new pdoc or if it would be possible that yout pdoc changes his behaviour since you have been with him for so many year. But I hope you find a solution. --------------- I have to leave the forum, I will be OK. Everyone, take care. And thank you melissa for all the support you gave me. (I am spending too much time on the internet and I have to cut it off)
  5. Why are you angry with him? Did he do something stupid/annoying?
  6. Once my pdoc said I have a really good insight and asked me if instead of schizophrenia I thought it could just be CPTSD. I told him I have a mix of both since I don't have all schizophrenia classic symptoms or presentation or all CPTSD symptoms (like poor emotional regulation of self harm). The thing is officially I am still schizophrenic. But you know what? *Even with a lot of incoherent phrases for the rest of the world that for me make sense, I am able to think at the same time in a way that people would understand it. For example, while I was writing this my head was "Le present indirect paletin...". *That freaking voice that is always behind my head saying random stuff, I know you don't hear it and it is considered an hallucination. *My special magic that allows me to connect with Wonderland and Netherland, that's complicate, because most of people don't connect with anything, so I am aware they would freak out if I talked them about these worlds. I can communicate with entities from Wonderland and demons from Netherland when the portals connections are open. It often happens when I am stressed out. There is the world beyond and behind reality, but I don't know them pretty well and the dark beings from there are less communicative. I know some people connect with other realms, these are the ones I can connect with. I have been in Wonderland twice, once I was dragged my entitie as a punishment for talking too much and the other time I went by my own. The point is I am aware most of people don't connect with any so they would just think I am crazy so I don't talk about them, this is one of the main reason why I am not fully sure I am schizophrenic. I am aware what is common and what is not, I can think coherently for the rest of the world even if inside there is going on a lot of phrases that normal people without the magic touch won't understand, so I translate my thoughts to their language. Actually, I migth not be psychotic at all, you know, they are not in touch so they don't understand and call it psychosis. Also, antipsychotics don't make me better. So maybe I am just a fake and shouldn't be here.
  7. Me too. Actually I think I am already burning out because the demon prince of Netherland have contacted with me. I know it is consider something weird by 99% of people, but when I connect to and with Wonderland or Netherland It is always when I am stressed. Anyway, I have decide to continue and find the way to live with Wonderland and Netherland conection. My life, everything, for me is college. I don't have anything else, I have never wish anything else. I survived years of abuse by my parents only by thinking me going to the university. I am mad, teachers noticed it, I look crazy, but someone crazy that knows what he says, I am the crazy student with good marks. Hope to continue in the future.
  8. I don't have "true" ADD as well as I don't have "true" autism, but because of early neglect and abuse my development didn't go well so I look ADD-like and autistic-like (even if my cognition is not ADD or autistic), but since I still have attention problems even if not true ADD, I was given Concerta (In my country it is not approved for adults and really rarelly prescribed, but my psychiatrist treats symptoms and not disorders). Anyway, I was said I am just a drug seeker, and someone asked me to sell him some pils lol Or the try harder thing... I am unable to watch a movie I like without a ton of coffee or Concerta.
  9. I am sorry I don't have any advice, I communicate with entities that lives in Wonderland and demons from Netherland, it is not telepathy but some sort of different communication. I don't know about parallel realities and other univeres but I am aware these things are considered psychosis by those who cannot connect with them. You can choose to live your way connected to extra reality being and spaces or to be in the so called real world, healthy and treated by what doctors normally consider it is the right thing (antipsychotics). If it makes you feel bad or mess up with your life I would see a doctor, a psychiatrist. In my case I was born with the magic, too much time passed, childhood onset schizophrenia (or the vision of the true reality I can see,maybe others can see more). Antipsychotics just sedated me, but it was too late when I took them the first time, years had passed, I couldn't return to everyone reality, I am with my magic forever. My psychiatrist doesn't bother anymore on trying antipsychotics while I keep doing the basic in my so called real life, but he does it because it is too late for me to live in the world that the rest of the humanity live in.
  10. I am diagnosed with SZ but I have a mood component, it just don't last enough or isn't severe enough or it is caused by the psychosis so it is not considered a mood episode. Like being hilarious and pseudomanic because demons have sent me that emotion. It just lasts until the demons stop sending me stuff (minutes to hours). Normally I am a bit low, something along with dysthimia but it is normal considered my situation and my CPTSD. I have had around two depressive episodes in the last three years but I got out of them without meds (both times I tried to kill myself) and they lasted less than a month. It is possible to have SZ and a depressive episode without being SZA if they are not recurrent enough to the point they are not relevant for treatment or if they were post psychotic depressive episodes (likely my case) or if it is depression as a symptom that don't fit the criteria for a depressive episode. Not all depressions are depressive episodes (clinical depression seen in MDD, bipolar and SZA), depressive episodes include more symptoms and more severe ones. Depression without being a depressive episode is common in many mental illness like PTSD, social phobia, schizophrenia, ... As well as dissociation (and it is not necessary a dissociative disorder).
  11. Thank you. I am glad things are going OK for you, I think I will log in on weekends, you are right about being busy with college, it is not easy to pass exams while being unstable, but I am passing them
  12. Hi all, hope you have been doing OK. I am a bit OUGH, since I react pretty bad to medication and I can't study while on AP, but being antipsychotic free is somewhat dangerous. Still without medication even if I am not sedated it is not easy because of both positive and negative symptoms and anxiety. Aura, I have just read you, I am sorry I don't have any advice, I am on the same boat.
  13. Thank you both for asking! I did really well for a while but now I am weird again, not sure what it is happening but my mood is OK at least. How have you been doing?
  14. Thank you, I am only on Concerta and gabapentin, I am not happy but not that bad either, I guess I am improving. And finally I am beginning psychotherapy with my pdoc , the diagnosis issue was really validating. I think things with him will improve a lot since now. My next step is clarify my objective and tell him something about my past, it will be this Tuesday, I hope it goes well I have written a letter... How are you doing? With lamictal? Could you find a pdoc that gives you stimulants for depression?