OliverB

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About OliverB

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  1. I am already taking a low dose of amisulpride (50mg). It helped with social negative symptoms, not too much with anhedonia and motivation.
  2. Thank you, but I already solved it, and got my klonopin back... I don't take it everyday, just when I need it.
  3. It sad to know you have a psychotic disorder, ugh, I felt sad when I was given the diagnosis, but at the same time everthing made sense and I got the appropriate treatment. When I was said I had a Personality disorder NOS they never helped me, or when I was said I was autistic... unhelpful... Anyway, if you had just bipolar before and now SZA, but you were already taking mood stabilizer+antipsychotic the treatment won't change, it only would for people who move from bipolar to SZA who weren't on an antipsychotic.
  4. I think the typical paranoid schizophrenia it's more notorious because there are little negative symptoms so they share their delusions and hallucinations and act on them. While, me, I didn't find any reason to share anything when I was deluded about a second civil war, I just did werid things they didn't know why, and was diagnosed wiith psychosis NOS by then, when they found out I get full delusions they changed it to schizophrenia. My Wonderland, the other world and behind reality are also considered delusions, but it took me long to share them, and when I do I give little details... because of alogia/asociality... well... until some weeks ago I started amisulpride and it seems now my communication it's much better and my psychiatrist see my case clearier, or that's what he said. I don't like they are called delusions, they are just different eyes to see the same physical space, whatever... I also got hallucinations that told me to be cautious and to don't disclose information and act normal, so I looked less psychotic when I was. Last time I was IP even if my psychiatrist consider me still deluded and by then I was having a lot of voices from the other world, they still considered I didn't have a full psychosis clear state... so theyput mixed personality disorder with borderline and schiztypal traits. I didn't talked enough about voices and Wonderland because I was dealing with negative symptoms, and didn't reply when they said something about my imagination, which clearly it's not my imagination but it's a different reality perception from Wonderland eyes, other world, behind reality, ugh... The only thing I can said it's the voice was paranoid when he told me to don't disclose too much because it was dangerous, they almost indrectly controlled me and made me look schizoid-like. Anyway my pdoc was skilled enough to know I have a psychotic disorder since March even if I disclosed 0 about it, maybe I did indirectly, while IP pdocs who see less things, who knew me less, who are used to more florid psychosis thought it just was my personality. I forgot the point of all of this, almost. I am sorry for the long message, what I wanted to say it's psychosis somtimes doesn't look like psychosis even for professionals because it can be kinda confusing. It depends on the type of psychosis (if its the typical one or not), it depends on how much you disclose, it depends on how you interact with the psychosis and how much insight you have, and, of course, how skilled and what the doctor is used to see. Now I disclose much more for my psychiatrist it's much more clear it is psychosis ahahaha. Also, the fact amisulpride "fixed" the social related negative symptoms also indicates it was not part of my personality, because if it wasn't psychosis, what was it? Depression but not majoyr depression. Mood changes but not cycling... Anxiety but not enough for anxiety disorder... The only option.... left... it's always a personality disorder... which are not 'fixed' with meds. The change was enormous about my communication with amisulpride (you ccan see it, I am writing a lot... maybe too much, I am sorry). So to finish with this... mild psychosis after a mood episode... with a lot of insight and with few negative symptoms... I would consider it's a consequence of the mood episode. If the psychosis goes out of control without a mood episode, I would consider it more schizoaffective/schizophrenia like. Mild psychosis with insight it's schizotypal/schizoid PD normally... or schizotypal disorder according to the ICD (on ICD it's consider a mild type of schizophrenia, on DSM a personality disorder with schizophrenia-like traits and a lot of social anxiety). Then, if you can function, have insight, outside a mood episode, mild psychotic symptoms, everything under control, yeah, it's psychosis, the functioning one. It's a good new, you are not having a psychotic break. But it is still psychosis, maybe residual, but psychosis.
  5. Psychosis it's a so weird word... and it doesn't always mean schizophrenia What is the typical psychosis? Voices narrating what you do, insulting you and telling you to do things. What is the typical delusion? Abduction, FBI, CIA, demons, angels; paranoid ones or religious one. I was told I get bizzarre hallucinations and delusions, wugh, it doesn't seem the norm. I can relate, I have insight, I know which things are considered delusions or hallucinations even if I consider them to be real, just different, and not psychsosis (I hate the word psychosis). Outside the what it's so called delusions and hallucinations, I look almost normal (maybe a bit schizoid or weird), that's why while IP I tend to be diagnosed with Personality disorders (NOS or mixed), they don't see me as schizophrenic because I don't act on the so called hallucination/delusions and I am coherent when it's about college and my future. Anyway, mi pdoc who knows me better thinks it's schizophrenia, just not the paranoid type, one with more negative symptoms and bizzarre positive ones with partial insight. I would be diagnosed with deorganized schizophrenia if I had deorganized symptoms, but it seems I only have negative ones and bizarre positive ones. Avolition, lack of affect, emotions, anhedonia... it's part of the psychosis spectrum. Actually schizoid and schizotypal personality disorders are part of the psychosis spectrum. Any kind of hallucination, delusion, it's too, even if they are not the typical ones.... it's part of the psychosis spectrum. If you mainly have them, or you have them associated with another disorder, you have a psychotic disorder or an X disorder with psychotic features. I guess what you mean with "what psychosis is to be like"... it's actually the typical paranoid schizophrenia, weh, it's just the most common type of schizophrenia and presentation, but not the most common case of psychosis (we have psychosis on mood disorders and personality disorders too). So, I think, your psychosis 'fit', it's just not like the typical paranoid schizophrenia.
  6. I just wanted to thank you all for the support and hope you are doing OK.
  7. Thank you, you were really supportive. I think you are a wonderful person.
  8. My pdoc told me to stop taking it since he thinks I can manage my rumination and obssesions by myself, he doesn't like the idea of being on too many medications (and we were adding Concerta) and he thinks the side effects outweight the beneficts.
  9. It went well. Helpful moderately for motivation. Mildy for avolitio. Moderately for energy. A lot for feelings. Extremely helpful for anhedonia.
  10. I think my dopaminergic system didn't develop because of the abuse and neglect from young age, in the end dopamine is the reward and pleasure neurotrasmitter, .... I never had that, I never learnt that... I guess that's why my majoy problems are with negative symptoms rather than with possitive ones, and It may be why I don't easily get psychotic on stimulant meds.
  11. Thank you, And today I have been reading and writing a lot, and feeling emotions like a human insteand of being zombie-booh-suicidal.
  12. Yeah, that's the hypotesis... The other thing it's AAP also affect serotoninergic activity and that Bupropion has more activity blocking norepinephrine than dopamine.
  13. I am taking 50mg of amisulpride (an AAP) which at a low dose first blocks presynaptic autoreceptors so the cell doesn't know how much dopamine is enough instead of blocking the postsynaptic ones which wouldn't allow the next cell to get the dopamine. Therefore, I am enhancing its transmittion. Plus, now I take 18mg of concerta. See what's happens. Pdoc was REALLY reclutant and like "If you feel weird, whatever... tell me." and I was "While I keep functioning I don't mind at seeing the cat from Wonderland and having walls talking to me" and then he "But tell me... anyway... I will be here *in the day hospital* tomorrow from 2pm to 3pm". And he was reaaaaally worried about me getting more psychotic on it. I think he was overworried and I told him, it's just methylphenidate, not a strong amphetamine, there are worse meds with worse side effects than it, but still, he was more, the most, worried about the stimulant. He wasn't that worried about lamotrigine, gabapentine, or antipsychotics in general even if I had really bad experiences on antipsychotics (some of which made me end up in the ER). Of course, my objetive is to improve negative symptoms. Let's have fun body, mind, everything.
  14. I was just given 18mg concerta.
  15. I was given the concerta by my pdoc. wwwwwwhhhwhhwhwhwhwhwhwhwh Weeeeeeeeeeeeeh Took it today, minutes ago. 18mg