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About ananke

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  1. Basing this solely off of personal experience, you only need to tell them what you feel comfortable with. If you aren't at a stage where you want to talk about being suicidal, you can ask to go to therapy without telling them that. I won't discourage you from telling them, but you can say other things, like you're going through a bad time right now and might benefit from therapy. Therapy is completely confidential. You don't need to wait until you are seriously considering suicide- but please reach out for help if you are, there are even links on this site- you deserve mental health treatment when you feel you need it. To paraphrase an overused metaphor, you don't need to walk around on a broken leg without medical attention because you are worried it isn't broken enough. If you want therapy, you are well within your right to ask for it on your own terms.
  2. If you're in a bad place mentally, this kind of thinking seems very rational and logical. After all, we all will die, and when that's combined with a depressed frame of mind (not saying you have depression, but maybe something to bring up with a therapist or doctor if you feel comfortable) it can seem tempting to just end it all. But life has many purposes, sort of whatever you make of it. Sometimes just being alive and being ok with that is enough. No human being needs to justify their existence because your life has inherent meaning. Not going off on a religious rant, you just deserve to be alive. I have 100% been a young-ish teenager going through bad periods of depression and anxiety. This kind of thinking is something I'm familiar with, but ultimately no one here can tell you what's wrong or give you counselling. It can be difficult to approach family about this kind of thing. When I started going to counselling, I told my parents it was because I was still processing my mothers cancer diagnosis. This was partially true, but there were other significant issues. Point is, you don't need to hide or lie to your parents if you want to see a therapist. Being a teenager is stressful enough, if you want to use that as a potential excuse? People go through bad patches, where they might be short tempered or quiet or rude, but I think you can perceive yourself as being a lot more difficult than others do. Just repeating what I said earlier, you deserve to be alive and for people to love you, even in bad times. People can get that, and accept that you are going through a lot and your behaviour might be more of a reflection of that than of something inherent about you. IMO empathy is sort of an overrated quality. It's way more complicated and dependent on social factors than people realise (in-group, out-group mentalities etc). Far better to be someone you are happy with, or someone who is compassionate or moral. TL;DR- I don't know what the rules are about 12 YO's on this website so if any of this is inappropriate mods, let me know. But maybe consider counselling or therapy. They don't try to fix you, just help you develop mental tools to deal with these kinds of feelings.
  3. Glad to hear it, I hope they're more useful than IP
  4. I'm sorry to hear it. Are there any t/pdocs you could talk to? Beyond at home DBT?
  5. I like my local (Labour) MP too! A 'purple' region generally but last general election she just about won. I know we don't vote for PM's directly, but there has been criticism that she's making decisions even though we didn't vote for her. Not saying those criticisms are anything other than jaded voters, but they are there, is my point. TBH this whole thing is a mess. no matter where you stand on politics this is pretty funny
  6. It'd be nice to think so but it seems more like May is capitalising on her current popularity. Plus, no one would be able to accuse her of being unelected
  7. Oh it'd be good if it didn't get past the house. They've been fools before though.
  8. Maybe they'll wait until after labour loses?
  9. I can imagine them being utterly foolish enough to try a split before the GE. It'd be a terrible, reckless, selfish idea, but likely.
  10. Yeah. My doomsday dad thinks there'll be a Labour split. Possibly with some old Blairite/anti-Corbyn lot joining up with the Lib Dem's. Basically, strong Tory party, weak secondary parties. It'd be great if people had learnt from the last GE and Brexit referendum- that if nothing else, protest votes count as legitimate votes. As long as what you vote for (or don't) is true to your beliefs thats kind of all I'm hoping for :/
  11. Sorry, this happened literally an hour or so ago so one of the links is 'live'. Essentially on the 8th of June the UK will hold a general election. This came somewhat out of the blue, as it was generally assumed the next general election would happen in 2020 (the first link should discuss that). Regardless of my political beliefs, this just seems like such a mess. Only a year after Brexit and May replacing Cameron after he quit. Any other Brits on here have an opinion? Can't imagine I'll vote for anyone other than Labour/Corbyn. I just can't bring myself to vote for anyone else, or abstain entirely. Not necessary an endorsement mind you, I have a lot a lot of issues with Labour
  12. ... evil things in a past life? What? Your mother? Sorry, but nothing bad that has happened to you was because of a past life (whether you believe in past lives or not). Sometimes life just sucks without reason. Sometimes being as good a person in this life is about the best anyone can do.
  13. I can't tell you if you have BPD, but you seem to be struggling with a lot nonetheless. Definitely worth bringing up in therapy! WRT diagnosis, it's a far more layered and nuanced discussion than (I think) simply fitting the criteria. P/Tdocs take a lot into account, including the degree to which it affects everyday life, time symptoms began, context of other possible mental health problems, etc. So again, nobody here can tell you if you have a personality disorder, but even if you don't there still seems to be a lot you are going through. I hope if you do bring it up it goes well, and you get some help. FWIW I don't necessary fit 'reckless' behaviour and am very introverted. But these things can show up in different ways. I don't drink much or do drugs or anything, but I could still treat myself pretty badly or have SH fantasies. Diagnosis is complicated!
  14. Short answer: no. Long answer: I don't particularly understand your reasoning for coming onto a MI site for this (specifically in this forum which is for people with personality disorders) or why you think it's appropriate to post this hypothetical. I'm not trying to be confrontational or angry, I'm just concerned and curious. Personality disorders are usually thought to be a combination of genetic vulnerabilities with a heavy dose of environmental factors, so I don't understand how someone could 'self induce' a personality disorder. Hypothetically, I'd love to self-uninduce my PD's. Is this a serious question because you are struggling? Or is this just 'poke the mentally ill and see what happens'? Again, not angry, just wondering. (Disclaimer: I didn't watch the clip. Sorry if that answers some of these questions) EDIT: watched some of it, still don't understand tbh. If you are struggling with emotional instability, I can definitely relate to that. But 'inducing' a personality disorder won't help I'm afraid
  15. You aren't bothering anyone. I've been through those BPD patches- they take away any ability to look beyond what you feel right now. Not saying that to be condescending, I literally can't understand not being suicidal when I am suicidal. It feels like it will just continue without stopping, but it does end. Not just the initial suicidal urges, but the frequency and intensity. They can and do quieten down. God the ambivalence is awful. You said you don't want to go inpatient, I've heard of some flexible programs where you aren't completely inpatient (free to come and go, get lunch etc) but also can come in and people are there for you. Can't remember what they're called but it might be worth looking into, if there's any such programs in your area. Maladaptive coping mechanisms (if that's what this is?) can be harmful, but if you feel you are in more danger being outpatient than inpatient maybe it's worth working on the IP thing when you feel more stable? I hope things get easier, if you feel comfortable let us know how you're doing