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About heilmania

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    East Coast, USA
  • Interests
    Myself, everyone but myself, all the animals, learning

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  1. Hah! That's the thing, I don't think he'd do well with that, lol.
  2. Oof. I'm struggling as well. I almost hope he doesn't ever bring up having kids again...
  3. Gotcha. Are you getting therapy as well as med management? Someone who does CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) would provide structured sessions and maybe a workbook. If that's what you're looking for, I'd ask about CBT.
  4. There are pdocs who specialize in dealing with pregnancy! Someone told me about that on here recently.
  5. My pdoc always ended each session with (and this is word for word), "and any thoughts to hurt yourself or anyone else? Are you seeing or hearing anything others can't see or hear? Any little green men or anything like that?" After hiding it the first couple times I heard them, I told him, "actually, yes. No green men, but voices." I'm grateful that my voices aren't commanding or hostile, as I feel it would have been much harder.
  6. I second what @birdonawire commented. All of it.
  7. I'm not saying you're wrong- I'm saying the way you said it is wrong. "Come back when..." is dismissive at best. In respect to the OP, if you would like to discuss this further, PM me.
  8. Yikes! That's a bit of a rude way to put it, no? Let's try to put on our kindness hat, because telling someone to come back when they're at the max dose ain't nice. @compcode000, I'd bring this up with your doc. Perhaps they can increase your dose or add something on to provide you some relief. And don't try playing with your meds without talking to the doc first.
  9. Have you explained the severity of your symptoms to your doctor? They may be able to give you something that works in days rather than weeks to bridge the gap if you are having so much trouble. My doc did that for me with Remeron, taking me back off of it when the Effexor I was taking caught up and had time to be fully effective. You need to be able to function, and what you're describing sounds pretty terrible. FWIW, anxiety and depression often go hand in hand. It's pretty common to see those diagnoses together. I'd recommend checking out what has already been posted (resources often pinned to the top) in the anxiety and depression boards, even the OCD board (lots of racing thoughts and persistent thoughts) as well as some of the boards wayyyy at the bottom of the home page that recommend things. I'm sure you'll get additional responses to this post, too, which will be great, but I wanted to make sure you remember to check out the wealth of accumulated knowledge CB already has as well. As for me, the best advice I can give is to know thine enemy: negative thoughts. Thoughts are only thoughts. They can't come after you any more than a hallucination can. They're not reality. They're just persistent. Studying my mental illnesses has been a huge help. When I'm having a very anxious or depressed day, I read about anxiety or depression. Anything I can find. Medical stuff, especially. Wikipedia helps with decoding the doctor speak. I also recommend writing tons of pages of how you're feeling. Luckily, we have a nice blogging section here Anyway, don't be a stranger. Stay connected with us crazies as well as your support circle.
  10. Damnit. When I was a teenager, that stuff made me have full-on hallucinations so bad my mom tried to check me into the psych ward. (Since I wasn't a threat to myself or others, they wouldn't take me, obvi.) I took myself off Wellbutrin as soon as that happened.
  11. The only downside to hoarding books is that they make it harder to move house... guess I'm buying it lol.
  12. We're waiting. I'm still on the fence, husband's still on the fence... I could, potentially, stay on some of my meds (not Adderall or Klonopin), but I'm actually in the middle of a long tapering-off process with my new psychiatrist. She wants to decrease all my medications, take me off some, and basically start from scratch, since the cocktail I'm on currently landed me IP last month. Sooooo we'll see what happens with that.
  13. Really interesting article that made me want to buy this book... (I have too many books.) https://hyperallergic.com/325904/this-way-madness-lies-mike-jay/
  14. Very true! I've heard over and over that if you wait for all your ducks to get in a row to have kids, you'll never have them. So, I guess there's that. And I'm scared of being alone with a baby, too. I also don't think newborns are cute. I think they look scrunchy-faced and helpless, and that makes me feel uncomfortable.
  15. Hoping I can find someone to order food with me- It's too damn hot to be walking anywhere to grab lunch!!!