empty inside

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About empty inside

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    Anhedonia's Bitch
  • Birthday 12/18/95

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    New Zealand

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  1. i dont really have any answers or advice, but i've felt exactly the same way before, it does get better, i don't know how, but it does.
  2. taking my sleep meds with alcohol is the only way to actually make me sleepy right now. hopefully i can get new sleep meds through my gp on monday, i don't need another bad habit to get me through.

    1. dragonfly23


      be careful. I have done the same though so I get it. but still be careful

  3. i don't really have experiences with imaginary friends but i do have quite a bit of experience with maladaptive daydreaming which can sometimes be similar (sometimes). as far as being able to explain that you're in control without losing her, it kinda depends on whether she's truly imaginary ie you 100% made her up or if you're physically seeing and hearing her despite the fact that she's not real. i also don't know how easy it will be to convince someone that you're in charge if she tells you what to do and tells you to hurt yourself (unless you're able to not listen to her her and not do what she tells you to do). (this also might be in the wrong forum, you might get more helpful responses if this was in the schizophrenia forum, people are more likely to have similar experiences over there) hope that made sense. stay safe! (and welcome to crazyboards)
  4. i fantasize quite a lot about self harm and suicide, i think its pretty normal (even non-crazy people do it, not to the same degree though). the important thing to know though is the difference between thoughts and plans. as long as there's no intent to follow through with your thoughts then there's really no harm in them. just be careful. stay safe.
  5. i know it can feel weird and sometimes overwhelming when parents find out but at least they know now and can hopefully help you get better, there's even a bit of relief in knowing that you don't have to try so hard to hide everything all the time (or there was for me). hopefully your journal turns up soon too. stay safe.
  6. From the album Stuff

    the left hand looks a little better.
  7. From the album Stuff

    decided to try something a bit more fancy with my nails and i really like the outcome. it took about 2 hours and i free handed it. this is my right hand.
  8. right now i take 25mg of quetiapine and 20mg of amitriptyline for sleep, they're starting to have less and less of an effect though i miss my zopiclone, but with that it got to the point where i had to take roughly 50mg before it had an effect.
  9. everyone here is so damn pretty!
  10. You're also really pretty. (like, not in a creepy way)
  11. that's a really cool tattoo, and i good idea/reminder as well. i hope it works well for you.
  12. i'm just completely over being alive right now. i'm gonna die eventually anyway, so what's the fucking point?

    1. bxt227us
    2. jt07


      The point is you're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you, and you can be whoever you want to be. If that is still not enough, remember there are people who love you and who would be absolutely broken if you died.

      I'm sorry you are feeling so sad and desperate right now. But these feelings will eventually pass. They have in the past for you so you know they will pass for you again. You will feel better.

  13. makeup + filter
  14. really warm and its pissing down, its so windy that the power keeps going out then coming back on and going out again.
  15. shitty. for no apparent reason, i just hate everything right now