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About dragonfly23

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    Quick Change Artist

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  1. Hi Welcome to Crazy Boards. it took me a long time to get on the right meds. ( my meds and DX is below). My husband really struggled through it all. He says I am different on meds. Not the person he married. He often questioned if I was bipolar. I questioned if I was bipolar, still do. I try to avoid the topic and keep my appointments to myself. He has surprised my lately. I began tapering off my meds, not by doctors orders and told him so. I told him I knew I was not bipolar so I didn't need the meds. I was expecting some sort of "it's about time" from him. What I got was " what the hell are you doing that for, you need your meds and your doctor knows better than you and you need to accept that you are bipolar and that it's okay". I guess what I am trying to say is acceptance can be hard for both you and him.
  2. What goes up must come down........I am so very tired, very very tired of it all.

  3. feeling separate

    I think it was dissociation light. I used to dissociate a lot. I mean a lot a lot. Must be something working with my meds. It hasn't happened in a year or so and took me off guard.
  4. I am not sure how to make this a topic. I feel present but separate. Like I am far away but still here. I know this makes no sense. I can't seem to be able to express it. it feels sad and alone. it makes me cry, but i am removed. maybe the pain hasn't caught up yet. can you make sense of this?
  5. Time for a new word association thread

  6. I have turned into a blast furnace.  I want to stand naked in the cold.

    1. TakeAChillPill


      Hot flash?  I'm glad I'm not going through that stuff yet.  


    2. dragonfly23


      Yup    I never really thought it would be this intense. I dress in layers so I can pull my clothes off, lol.  

  7. @Bimbo Bear I fear my earlier comments were insensitive. I can tell how much pain this is causing you. I know the void you speak about. It's like a hole inside that never gets filled. Many, including me have moved from addiction to addiction to fill the hole. I am sorry your dealing with this and it's hurting you. You are stronger than you know.
  8. OMG I dont either. Just goals. You can't return a car........... LOL yes Amazon is evil. One time someone told me to remove the one click link to stop buying impulsively. Duh, I can just put it back on.
  9. I tend to internet shop or want to purchase very large and expensive things. I am trying to stick with a 3 day rule. I want it, I can add to the online cart, but I try to wait 3 days before checking out. So often I look back a day later and really have no idea why I felt I needed the item. For cars and jewelry I try not to go alone and try to stick to the 3 day rule. Like so many have said I also tend to buy many of the same thing. If I see a sweater I can't make up my mind so I buy all the colors. I keep receipts. I have things that I have bought on Amazon and been so ashamed they sit in a closet. Your not alone.
  10. Alcohol

    When I initially became serious and committed to try to get stable via meds I was drinking heavily and abusing pain pills. (my own meds) I slowly drank less and less. I no longer take pain pills. My drinking made a mess. Over the time period I was trying to quit I found a direct connection to my drinking and my moods. It easily would take me a week to level off. Primarily it was the pit of depression, suicidal depression. Hope things get back to "better" for you.
  11. Med consolidation

    Good luck. You are on a pretty big cocktail. Hope you can work with your prescriber to get things sorted out. "One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small, the one that mother gives you does nothing at all" - Jefferson Airplane-
  12. I know this is an old post......could you run upstairs to the bathroom and read the jar. The blast furnace that is now my body would really appreciate it. 😜
  13. things are weird. I know I am not bipolar, I am positive. I dont want a tdoc and a pdoc and group in my life. I want to just live and be me.
  14. I question my DX most of the time. I am not really sure I am bipolar, its something else. I dont know what, but not bipolar.