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About Remnants

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  1. I can definitely relate. I've been at uni for a long time now, and until about, last year, it was hell. It's still really hard but a little better. If its doing more damage than its worth, it is definitely worth considering other options. Taking medical leave or as we call it here 'withdrawn without academic penalty' or just doing something else. I know the world tries to make us believe, especially now the only way is education but school is hard and damaging on the for lack of a better work 'stable' people, let alone us that do it with mental health issues and so many more daily struggles/pressures. If I can impart any of my managing school knowledge, feel free to ask.
  2. I'm sorry things have been difficult enough that you've started self harming again. Its good you were able to take yourself to the ED and that you have at least T support around you. Self harm on top of mental illness can be really isolating and its understandable you're having a challenging time and I get where you're coming from not having normal coping strategies helping. Glad you've felt able to reach out here. If I can listen or be here for you in any way, I will try. Please try to take care of yourself, especially if you're needing stitches, serious damage sucks. I'm in australia too, so I will probably be around at similar times to you.
  3. I see her fortnightly, so I'll see her this Friday. Will let you know if I get the courage to do so. Thanks for checking in.
  4. Well done for working through this & setting up good bounderies, great achievement. Good luck in continuing to work with this.
  5. I've started using the eliptical part of my exercise bike/eliptical. I've increased my time by 2 & half minutes since I started. We'll see how long this lasts. When I go back to my doctor I kinda want to be able to disprove her stupid 'exercise can be just as effective as AD's'. Like no, that's only for mild to moderate depression, not including the other crap I deal with. But anyways. I want to be able to do more stairs more easily anyways. Exercise makes me feel awful though.
  6. Thanks Wooster, they seem like reasonable things she might be doing, who knows. They seems like a good approach I might try, I would like to know in general as well. I can definitely relate to what you're saying too, I kinda want to self harm to just be like well let's see what happens. God my brain sucks. JustNuts it is good to know where you stand, we don't do long term hospitalisations/its really rare so at least I have that on my side, plus no one will admit me for more than 24 hours anyways, tbh.
  7. I wish psychs would just say what they mean in terms of what 'risk' means to them. I’ve had psychs in the past who have taken issue with me self harming. Others don’t. One said ‘I’d rather you self harm because it means you’re trying to stay alive and keep from going to a place where you might kill yourself’ whereas another thought it was the end of the freakin world and would go into risk mode of telling everyone and taking my blades and shit. Now I have to deal with a new psych who won’t tell me which fence she sits on. I want to be able to talk to her about it. Especially as I don’t see getting through til I see her next without it. I don’t know if she’s team, ‘don’t do that or else’ or just ‘I don’t want to tell you that its okay because its not, but also I understand it just means you’re having a really hard time and are doing that best you can to cope’. Just be specific. Please? ‘Hurt yourself’ can mean one of two things ‘self harm’ the act of hurting oneself to elevate emotional pain without the intention of dying or ‘suicide’ the act of trying or succeeding to take ones own life. It's really frustrating, I like to be honest about this stuff, like if I’m trying to get help, I might as well right? But I can’t be if I don’t know this stuff. I have ask straight out multiple times & got no real answer.
  8. That sounds like a good plan. It's logical & reasonable, especially as you found it to help when you started on AD's. I think in terms on mental health & with that kind of reasoning it's not over stepping to at least put it forward. But I also look at things from a more bio-psycho-social model from my studies than a doctor who is trained in the medical model.
  9. I need to clean the kitchen & my room.. by tomorrow evening coz a friend is coming over. But I can't even pull myself off the couch to make dinner.. & the only thing I have seems like so much effort right now. Fuck. I put a load of washing on though
  10. Please don't feel bad about needing to sort your meds out with your doctor, it's their job & you deserve to feel better. It's easy to try & convince ourselves it's not our mental health but when it doesn't just go away like other people, chance are it is. I can relate to the med struggle & questioning everything, ect though. I hope something can help you soon though, it sucks to be trapped in that shitty place.
  11. Bahaha, what did I just watch? I want brownies now. lol. Yummm.
  12. Feel free to talk about it here if you feel like it'll help. I'm sorry people haven't been open to listening if your life. We're here.
  13. Good story but starts of depressing, please be careful if you choose to read. So, you know how fb gives you memories. Well today, 5 years ago my public health psychs turned me over to the intensive team. It seemed at the time like the worst thing in the entire world. I was in the high dependance unit of the psych ward after a) absconding and trying to kill myself and b) after that news they didn't trust me in the normal ward. They had no choice but to move me, honestly. I was going to die under their care because whilst they were amazing people and amazing at their job, their role didn't allow them to support me the way I needed at that time. But, being moved to the intensive team I actually slowly started to get better. I only have 3/10ish admissions with them, stopped self harming for the most part and stopped trying to kill myself. While right now I feel at times as bad as I ever had, I can manage significantly better for the most part. I am not where I want to be, but I am 5 years of blood, sweat and tears away from where I was on that day.
  14. Ahh! turtles!! So cute!
  15. That's such wonderful news. I'm so glad you were able to be assertive & get help along with the right diagnosis & treatment. Hope it continues to improve for you & you're able to be free from/able to manage the challenges you've had in the past.