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About San

  • Rank
    Lawful Evil
  • Birthday 09/30/1984

Profile Information

  • Gender
    trans male
  • Location
    ON, Canada

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12412 profile views
  1. It's called gender dysphoria, and it doesn't mean you're crazy. The treatment is generally therapy, and after evaluation, transition, if that's what you want. Its not the fastest process, nor something to take lightly. I'm a transman and I started hormones Feb 28, 2017. (Testosterone, T) I give myself injections weekly, a nurse at the office I go to taught me, after being approved. Honestly, its not painful, except T is suspended in oil, so it hurts your thumb to push on the plunger, heh. My nurse showed me what to do for the first shot (I use my thighs, most guys do) and supervised me for 5 more, then sent me on my own with supplies. Every 3 months I pick up a new pack of syringes, needles, etc.. its single use, and its awesome they supply them for their patients. (My healthcare centre is mostly LGBT patients, awesome) I had been with one of their therapists for about 7 years, and cleared for hormones (HRT) years before. But its a huge decision. I'm much happier. Most of the time I pass as male.. its almost been a year, and I'm light blond, so facial hair is hard to see. (Don't. dye. it.) Starting T, well, you go through puberty again, but as a male.. your voice cracks, zits.. but it wasn't like the hell puberty as the wrong gender was.. It takes forever, but its better that than regretting it. If you have questions, I'll answer as best I can.. my pdoc was as excited about me going on T as I was. He advocated for me. I've been more stable, all things considered (tragedy in the family) and on less meds.. and therapy, meeting with doctors, wasn't about "when I was a child I..." It was much more interesting, my endo is fucking amazing, and my PCP (shes a nurse practitioner, specializes in healthcare for transmen and transwomen) is also amazing. My endo first appointment was talking about hobbies, my life, school, my pdocs letter (he said he had never seen a doc advocate like mine did for me, I said I had no problem consenting to share information) and after a really fast hour (but he said it in the first 10 minutes) he wrote the Rx, asked if I wanted the shot that day, as I was a perfect candidate.. then paperwork, because some effects are permanent, informed consent, etc.. I went to the pharmacy, and on and on.. You could cut your hair if you wanted.. I never had long hair because it always tangled, a lot over summer, swimming, horseback riding (competing it had to be hidden, hairnets.. all riders required.. ugh) and as a welder, well, (not joking) there was risk of it catching on fire if I forgot to hide it.. An undercut (I have a side swept one) is really popular, if you have longer hair, and your parents aren't sure, there are "female variations".. it has a million variations, and you can wear any of them any way.. I love my undercut. My parents were used to me showing up with blue.. purple.. etc.. hair.. no hair.. so they love this style! I've always preferred short hair on myself, and my mom prefers short hair on herself, so we've never had issues over how my hair was done.. I'd flip through for-men's haircut books, as a kid, because they were less maintenance and cleaner looking than the one's in the for-womens books.. and they always turned out better..
  2. I've got hairs growing all over my chin!

    1. Cerberus


      The irony here is that that is good news.

      For my ex, that exact same line always preceded an immediate dash to the bathroom for half an hour with the tweezers until she decided to say fuck it and spend a small fortune on laser hair removal. Meself, I transitioned from no-shave November to don't-care December without a blink and am now beard-o.

  3. I hate it. And it will be available to buy as easily as liquour and much easier than cigarettes July 1, 2018. That's how Canada ended up with a Liberal majority.. There've been some amusing posts on The Beaverton About it.. Ontario's most hated premier is in charge in Ontario, regulating, I believe.. Just for amusement, because in Canada, this could honestly not be satire. We're so Canadian it's hard to differ satire from real.. (Such as the man that got drunk and swam to Detroit says he's sorry.. that did happen..)
  4. Oh yea, I have vivid dreams on Latuda. No matter when I take it. It's like a replay of what happened that day, but a few changes.
  5. LSD like hallucinations. (I've never done LSD, someone who has told me what they're like.. And the hallucinations were different from my regular psychosis) on Tegretol. When I called my pdoc he told me to get to his office right fucking now.
  6. Friend lied!

    You treat people like shit, lie, take advantage and get angry when they ask for a buck for gas, complain about everything, think nothing is ever your fault. This is probably why you have trouble making and keeping friends. You're a professional victim and rely on that so nothing is your fault. Grow up, lose the victim bullshit. You can't handle being held responsible for your actions.
  7. It's pretty good at frying your kidneys. Lithium carbonate is another form, works essentially the same way, blood test lithium levels are equal regarding therapeutic dose. Lithium is not something to fuck around with. Its illegal for a reason. If you needed emergency medical attention- you damn well tell them, because its not monitored andyou're buying it illegaly online. Lithium carbonate is regulated and probably costs less anyways.
  8. Daily Mugshot (Reboot)

    Got my hair cut. Side sweot undercut. You can almost see my mustache!
  9. You do realize antipsychotics, such as risperdal lower dopamine, right? Too much dopamine results in psychosis. Too little results in Parkinsons and such, hence the EPS side effects, and success in the past with L-dopa in some neurological disorders. (Oliver Sacks)
  10. I so agree with you and think that you handled this well. I agree that tidbit of bullshit said is extremely harmful. I can so relate to you. I have trouble getting off my ass and doing things, but once I'm off it, I can generally get it done. However, not to make you feel bad or humblebrag, pdoc says I've been in remission since early 2014, with little to no symotoms, but fuck, getting started, or keeping interest still aren't 100%. Its not laziness, more fear? But when symptomatic, ha! Forget about it! I'm so sorry you were attacked by an ignoramus. Everyone has days like you describe, but not constant. It fucking sucks. I am glad your mood is stable. It takes time to get everything stable. Its baby steps. Mood stable? Check! Next? Give it time. Don't beag yourself up. Its not instant. Stable mood is the start. The rest will follow. Adjusting back is hard. You're strong. Look at how yiu handled mr. bad advice. That shows your mind is in a good place. I'd rather see someone yell at someone else than keep it in and harm themselves or ruminate. I'd really rather have neither scenario. You have my support, and the other mods too. You are not lazy. I am glad your mood is stable!
  11. Who the hell ard you to ask me, or any member, with one post, or signed up the day it was launched, to explain themselves?
  12. No, they don't. If there ks an interaction, or a controlled substance bejng filled earlier and earlier, they can refuse. They have flagging systems, one, for example is "double doctoring". A pharmacist filling prescriptions people lie about, ignore interaignore they are aware of are knowingly breaking the law. A pharmacist is highly trained and goes through a lot of school and certifications. The techs may do the work, the head (usually has a doctorate) has to make sure its error free. I have sat in pharmacies for hours because a doctor prescribed something that could interact. They dont just blindly throw pills in bottles, they can make almost 6 digits in a good area. Hell, some can prescribe in areas, and doctors and pharnacists arent perfect, the education and time to master bofh would not allow you to sleep, they are a team. Not a candy machine. A pharmacists job is not easy, and is risky because they have narcotics locked behind them. Its like saying all a nurse does is change beds and flirt with doctors. And the training in Canada and US is similar because its in demand.
  13. I had unilateral ECT 8n 2008… inpatient. It saved my life. I had a long episode of depression and couldn't function, I actually have more memory loss from mania, depression, a:d psychosis. Episodes that lasted months. My memory of the month of ECT is fuzzy in places. I remember my nurses, my pdoc, the ECT doc and nurse, the testing (physical, I have tachycardia, so I had an EKG, echo and wore a Holter monitor for 24 hours... Turns out everything is fine, I am generally under 100bpm when not being tested or at a doctors! (My PCP said she has the same problem) I was cleared. We got up around 4am, as I was in a psychiatric hospital (more like resort) and our ECT nurse gave us smokes while waiting for our cab (she bought everyone their choice, so we didn't lose ours!) And she'd chat, tell stories, calm everyone down, on the ride. She was so incredibly nice,reassuring, and amazing with an IV. At the hospital, we put on gowns, the nurses grabbed heated blankets, covered us, if we were nervous, as soon as the IV was in, they offered a non_benzo sedative. I recall only one patient saying yes, and he said it was unnecessary after. The IV was tiny, nurses are great, more warm blankets, then ECT in the recovery room. We went down, the staff fussed over us, "more pillows? Warm blanket? Is the TV on a good station?" They'd talk, the doc and anesthesiologist came in, ask how we were, chat, explain, tell us if we changed our mind, we could nap, no one forced us. Once everything was confirmed, the anesthesiologist asked if we wanted music, to count, to relax as we went out, and then it hit, floating. I woke up with no IV and a mild headache each time. A nurse asked how I felt. I always knew what happened, date, etc. I took a tylenol, felt tired, We got dressed, smoked, got treated to Timmies (in every Canadian hospital) the cab came, we went back. My pdoc left me alone to sleep, the nurses would ask what I wanted for lunch, by then I was fine, so I'd get my own, rest or do crafts in the afternoon, by evening, I was playing baseball or whatever. It helped fast. 3 weeks after discharge I was working full time. I was discharged 2 weeks after ECT. I haven't had an episode of depression since (that meets DSM criteria, or wasn't because of a death in the family or other circumstance) I would do it again if i needed.
  14. Lithium is an amazing med. It was the first discoverd (accidentally) and it works so well. It is a very effective anti-manic. It exists in tiny doses in most peoples blood, but not sure why or what for. It can have shitty side effects, watch levels. No NSAIDS (unless a dose or two in an emergency, I was given IM Toradol when i broke my ribs, they monitored levels and kidneys, mostly because I could have damaged them) Caffeine, cut back. Stay hydrated, do not adjust salt intake, do not miss blood tests. It sounds scary. Its not that bad. If your levels are in the good range, you rarely notice side effects (except thirst, but I'm always thirsty) Its the only true mood stabilizer, it works so well, unfortunately some side effects are harsh, I had kidney problems (most doctors had never heard of it), had to discontinue, lost 6 years of stability, took years to find a combo half as good. Twice as many meds. (Note: when a med really helps me, it eventually turns on me..) I was never toxic. It kept me stable, rarely any episodes. Note, there is a history of kidney disease in my family. But the problem wasnt permanent. I am great on blood tests, but cant risk it. Again, very rare. Its amazing, it works fast, great med.
  15. Didn't leave a tip, worried now...

    When I worked as a server at restaurants doing as she did would have had me fired on the spot. You never, ever, complain to customers about a tip. And I don't tip at buffets, very rarely.