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About San

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    Lawful Evil
  • Birthday 01/01/67

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    trans male
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    ON, Canada

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  1. Yep, people can now judge brain damage without scan's, by Facebook post, and guess their own IQ by their kids homework. Even a lobotomy won't drop your IQ 30 points. ie: Howard Dully. Quick synopsis, he wasn't a child genius, just average, maybe above, probably had ADHD, but had a bitch of a stepmom, way back, when Walter Freeman was at large, his literally evil stepmom convinced him to do an icepick (a bit after Freeman framed the icepick's, now a 'prefrontal lobotomy') lobotomy on a confused, probably slightly hungry, 12 year old kid that just wanted to swim and play.. (Other docs said the stepmom was the problem, Freeman was.. enthusiastic) Howard was happy to get away, to a hospital, to have brain surgery.. They did ECT a few times to literally render him unconscious. This was before they used a nice cocktail to put you out (okay,general anesthetic is pleasant to me) and then paralyzed your muscles. So, the "Dr" literally describes himself as "chasing the young boy around with paddles" until he was really out. Then he shoved metal picks into his eye sockets, swirled them, took a couple pictures (procedure, this is how he killed a few people) and swirled, pulled them out, and Howard woke up the next day woozy, with an infection, and black eyes. And, after a couple weeks - probably less than it took me to recover from ECT, he was pretty much his regular self, so his stepmonster sent him to live with his disabled at birth half brother, when they couldn't afford it, he was "certified" and send to an "insane asylum" for years, where he scammed patients, the doctor's wouldn't medicate, or use any form of psychosurgery or treatment such as ECT on him because they were outraged at what had happened to him, and later, discharged, sent to a therapeutic type school (shut down for a sex scandal), juvie, shown off as a miracle cure by "the lobotomist" who was screamed at, the 3 children had to be hidden from the crowd (he never tried that again) and then Howard lived off social assistance, scams, in and out of jail.. went into the asylum once or twice - but he wasn't "insane" nor would fit today's involuntary commitment criteria. He eventually got it together, went to school, and then did amazing stuff for those affected by lobotomy. Modern day MRI showed that the damage done, stated in his book (easy read, fast read, interesting, not triggery) that the damage done, and left, should have left him pretty much vegetative. However, he was 12, and kids can recover amazingly. He bounced back. He lost a lot of memories.. But he essentially turned out how he would have, likely better had his stepmother been in his life - lobotomy or not. (His mother died of cancer when he was young, unfortunately) Yea, and ECT, in 2017 causes brain damage, with the technology, study and whatnot, we have. Feeling shitty, memory loss, being bad at math, losing motivation, or even headaches, aren't signs of brain damage. We have technology to diagnose it. Sitting around on Facebook, diagnosing yourself, calling peer reviewed scientists that dedicate their lives, their money, and quote First, do no harm. On making people better, with ECT, meds and so on, liars, that are deliberately brain damaging people is fucking mental illness at its goddamn worst You are not more qualified, better t diagnostics, or more educated on treatments ad mental illness than thousands of thousands of researchers and over a hundreds of years of study. Jesus Christ. Yes, you're suffering. But you're blaming the people that are trying to help you, and that's you're problem. The internet and Facebook is the worst thing to happen to psychiatry. I think your IQ has dropped 30-40 points, seriously. Get over yourself. Why the hell are psychiatrists evil now? Why does a psychiatrist want to force people into stupidity, to damage their brains? Why are you so special? Why have they chosen you to fuck up so badly? So they can get sued, bad reviews, idiotic comments on FB, twtter, and youtube? Destroy their profession, families, lives? It makes no sense.
  2. This is me yesterday..
  3. A patient is not a neurologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, etc. They are probably the most biased. They've been doing ECT for literally over 100 years and have never proven brain damage, even with the antipsychiatry movement, bans, and whatnot. Not on an MRI, scan, or any other way of showing it. It has never been documented. Shortened attention span is not equal to brain damage. They've talked about how the initial procedures, when it was "invented" was "barbaric", often traumatic, caused broken bones sometimes, and so on, but never brain damage. I've had more severe, long lasting, side effects from untreated mood or thought (psychosis) episodes than from ECT. And yes, I had ECT, in 2008. I know people that have had great, good, neutral, bad, and horrible experiences. If it caused brain damage, which is irreversible at this time in medicine, it would not be legal, anywhere. There wouldn't be informed consent, the danger would outweigh the benefit. I was told there was a percentage that it flat out would not work and there was a chance there would be negative side effects - memory loss and whatnot, for no benefit. It is not an experimental treatment anymore. This isn't 1900. Sorry you had a bad experience, but you aren't quoting peer reviewed, scientific, proven fact.
  4. No problem! Also Invega Sustenna is an IM shot more effective given in the deltoid (arm). I found the needlestick not painful, but the injecting burned, and my arm was sore for about 48-72 hours, with about a half hour of burning after the injection. (It's not really bad pain, some people take a tylenol, I never bothered, but my arm was stiff for a couple hours, and achy for a couple days, you'd notice it exercising or heavy lifting) With Risperdal Consta, it comes with 2 needles, 22ga 1 1/2" for deltoid, and 21ga 2" for glutes (butt). Most people would be less embarrassed, more comfortable with a shot in the arm.. So my doc and I decided to try the deltoid for the first injection, and keep me there for about a half hour.. Figured it would be easier on me, but goddamn, the opposite. Burning, bled through the bandage, hurt for a couple days.. So the next injection,we went with the "that's a scary looking needle" (my doc and I had a good relationship, he knew needles didn't bug me, and i just told him not to say that in front of people) in the butt, and it was painless pretty much every time, no pain after, but if the doc or nurse (nurses are waaaaaay better) giving the shot is good, its quick, and over with fast. But with deltoid, doc or nurse, it is quick and over with fast, but still hurts a bit. (It's not excruciating, but annoying) IM injections are better, less painful, less pain/if any afterwards, going into a larger muscle. Hip, butt, thigh.. I give myself injections in the thigh with a 23 gauge needle, 1 inch long, every week, and it is suspended in oil (testosterone, so really thick, I draw it up with an 18 gauge needle, and have to inject slowly, or it literally hurts my thumb) but stab myself fast) and have no pain at all. Sometimes you may have mild aching, but nothing really... Consta just had way less side effects for me, there isn't the initial loading dose, and it doesn't have a 40-something day half life... It probably also costs less.
  5. The Invega Sustenna made my blood pressure crash everytime I got up, even during gentle yoga (think elderly) classes, I'd have to get down, and do it reaaaaly slowly, cognitive effects.. I was terrified to drive, in case I got confused or passed out. Word recall, stuttering, forgetting where I was in a sentence.. Risperdal Consta, on equivalent dose, more effective for mood and psychosis, none of those side effects.
  6. @Gearhead I had the same problems after taking Seroquel IR at night.. I'd find it hard to swallow, my heart would race, I couldn't breathe, I forget the others.. So it made it difficult and scary to fall asleep, but it stopped happening with XR. No other AAP did that. Which is the reason why. Also, panicking about it just makes it worse. (Like when I broke my ribs and knocked the wind out of myself, thought I punctured a lung because I couldn't breathe.. panic.. repeat) I find XR waaaaay nicer. At one point, before XR was available, I was taking 300mg x 3 (300am, 300 mid day, 300pm) while going to college, and the 7:30am (fuck) classes I generally slept through... I have no clue how I passed.
  7. I live downtown in a second floor walk-up with 5 units, so we all know each other's unit #. It's a secured building with video surveillance on the back parking lot and entrance and front entrance where the lobby is. (You can't get into the building at all unless you have a ket) If someone gets locked out, it's a pain in the ass, especially in winter, so it's easiest to just buzz someone and go "Hey its so and so from unit 2, can you let me in?" and I'll ask what entrance they're at, and go make sure it is so and so from unit 2, and open the door.. If its night or weekend and you get locked out, its $10-25 to call the landlord to get let in, but you get one free save. During the day, the office is across the street, they let you in no charge, as a courtesy, we just buy them a coffee. My one neighbour kept getting drunk down the street forgetting her keys, then getting locked out, so she'd leave me gift cards or cash, or chocolate or whatever in my mailbox.. so I had no problem. I could look out my window to see the back entrance anyways. I don't give people I don't know or run into at 7-11 or Timmies my unit number or building number. Say I'm buying or selling something online, or meeting someone, I just say I live on whatever street south, meet me at Timmies, my apartment is hard to find. (It isn't, but parking is) This is Canada, though. Most of the time, we don't lock our doors.
  8. If psych med withdrawal lasted for years, why would it only be psych meds? Why would they be so different from blood pressure medication or other meds taken daily? The anti-convulsant category is not specifically for psychiatric patients, they were mainly invented and approved for epilepsy/seizure disorders/neurological conditions/migraines, etc.. They found out they work as mood stabilizers as well,. Depakote is FDA approved for acute mania in bipolar disorder, but used off label for depression and schizophrenia. Tegretol is another anticonvulsant used off label for bipolar mania/mixed episodes and schizophrenia/psychosis. They've shown that they can help with MI and are prescribed for various conditions. Medications don't stay in your system forever. Benzo withdrawal, or even going from Xanax to Valium ("equivalent doses") made me a mess until I could call my pdoc, as it was over a weekend that I switched.. Xanax withdrawal sucks because it has a short half life, Valium isn't quite as shitty because it has a longer half life and leaves the system slower, letting it adjust. All medications have half lives. It takes about 5 half lives for them to be out of your system. Some are short, some long. Invega Sustenna (a depot injection, monthly) has a half life of 49 days, and takes 4-8 months to be gone. I think thats the worst offender. People coming off medications can have a recurrence of symptoms, its generally right there in the PI sheet, and say that it's withdrawal from medications. If you've been off meds for a year and are depressed and psychotic, that isn't withdrawal, that's what the meds were treating.
  9. You are clearly symptomatic, hearing voices.. You are delusional but not aware of it. I can relate with the thoughts, but somewhat different.. Without medication, or meds that aren't useful, I'd believe that if I looked someone in the eye, my thoughts were going into their mind, they knew all about me, what I've done. I've never thought a device was implanted in me, though.. a lot of it is persecution, guilt, people can read my mind, etc..
  10. In the rules: The word of the moderators is final. You have no say in who posts where and policing and bullying members because they have the wrong diagnosis. You attack people for things you don't agree with, that you don't like, and so on.
  11. Also, in *nix you can royally fuck everything up if you're in terminal and type the wrong letter. Did that once, spent 2 hours at the dentist because I got angry and stood up, then fell, smashed my tooth in half.. Then spent the next 12 hours fixing my partition tables. I stopped using Mac after Snow Leopard.
  12. No, software generally doesn't impact hardware, unless you're doing really advanced stuff.. forget exactly what I did in computer security.. Basically, you need a new harddrive. And a ruined harddrive is not a ruined laptop. There are a million things you can fuck up that, if you're under warranty, they'll throw it away and send you a new one.
  13. No, and it's none of their business anyways.
  14. I don't eat lobster at Red Lobster.. usually chicken.