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About San

  • Rank
    Lawful Evil
  • Birthday 09/30/84

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  • Gender
    trans male
  • Location
  • Interests
    Getting standard knowledge, no matter what it takes.

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  1. Definitely good news, glad to hear it.
  2. My family (mostly my mom). My roomate. My cat. My mentor in welding, because he helped me out a lot, and when I asked him if I should quit, if I was just wasting his time, he said he would never teach someone and encourage someone who was wasting his time, or going to fail. That kept me going. I liked what I was doing. I do know that in deep depression its hard to think of the times that were good. Even in mild depression, or psychosis, etc. It's damn near impossible. That's what led me to ECT. I couldn't see anything getting better. I couldn't keep going, if I kept going I would end up dead without intervention. Some part of me said I had to stop and fix myself (I was in college, up north) before that happened. I hate talking about that time in college, I don't mention it much, nobody really knows I even went there (I didn't graduate), and so on...
  3. I can feel it coming on... then I kinda black it out.. I lost 4 months to a psychotic episode when I was away at college. Can't remember anything except for being there, then being IP back home. I don't remember going to college, my roommates, or coming home, packing my dorm... It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced, when I look back at it. And it scared the fuck out of my family and friends. I don't really black out much anymore, I get this terrible feeling and need to isolate myself, have to be alone, and it is so fucking real and I know after that it was not real but during, it is really real and I believe it. Often I believe it after.. but insight and years of treatment and antipsychotics have stopped that. It's hard to explain. It is so real when it happens.
  4. I love Seroquel.. But tbh.. it doesn't help me with anxiety. Luvox, Lexapro are used or OCD sometimes. Here's a list of meds, mostly antidepressants, that are helpful with OCD. Luvox killed my anxiety. It was great. Most of the meds on that list are antidepressants, SSRI's or SNRI's with a couple of TCA's.
  5. I found Geodon pretty useless at pretty much any dose, for psychosis at least. My pdoc (way back, not my current one) was going to add Haldol, but it got flagged as a major interaction by my pharmacy, so I just switched to Haldol. (Long WT syndrome from Geodon + Haldol was more likely than just taking Geodon) Kinda sounds like it's not helping you out all too well. Talk to your pdoc about switching anti-psychotics, because it doesn't seem like Geodon is getting rid of your symptoms, no offense. That is a higher dose, but not the highest. For atypical antipsychotics (AAP) I found seroquel or risperdal the best for psychosis. For typicals (AP), I found loxapine and Haldol the best. Loxapine is interesting because its a borderline typical and atypical.
  6. Here, from the CDC itself. All the ingredients, risks, where the ingredients come from, etc.It's in the PDF file. Risks, too. FAQ's. Right from the horses mouth, you cannot argue their facts. Also, "mercury", aka methyl mercury. Thimerosal. Methyl mercury is the bad one. Ethyl mercury doesn't do much, if any, damage and was removed from pretty much all vaccines in the 90's. Methyl mercury is the more toxic one with a long half life. Ethyl mercury clears the system in days. There's a huge difference. And yes, very rarely used, sometimes in flu shots, and you can ask for one without. Get educated. Stop googling shit. Go straight to the facts. Yes, some people react badly. That's why they have the risk reporting system. It's not a secret that people react differently. Nothing is 100% safe. Get the real facts.
  7. We're not paid to be here, for one. Most of us have other things to do. I've been job hunting, going to appointments, etc, and I'm not always on my computer. I leave myself online because my laptop won't sleep when I close the lid, half the time, and I don't feel like fixing it. I have no obligation to respond to anyones PM, or be harassed for something because someone else broke the rules. I've been modding on this site for many years, and its sickening how people have been acting, and the way the mods and admins have been treated lately, jesus christ, we're fucking people too. We have lives. We're mentally ill, also, we have problems. So don't sit around and call us assholes because we'd rather do something else than get insulted and treated like shit, cross-examined, bitched at, told we're useless, etc, for something we've volunteered to do.
  8. Awww. I would if I could!
  9. Thank you. I would definitely miss sooo many of you if you were to leave. You've been a great friend and I wore the mitts you sent me for our swap, today, coz it was cold.
  10. Thank you for acknowledging the work I did, its appreciated. I love hearing about your whekers.
  11. Dumb-I'm sorry you continue to be troubled by your anxiety about pregnancy, but as numerous members have already pointed out, your worry is entirely unfounded. If you'd like to keep discussing your feelings, I urge you to create a blog. I'm closing this thread
  12. That's fucking asinine. It's not only for self defense. It's a sport. It's really good exercise. It can be relaxing, or stimulating. It can help with every day life. I was in martial arts as a child and it taught me discipline, respect and how to be a good winner/fair loser. It's much, much more than just beating the shit out of someone. Way more. Get some education on a topic before spewing bullshit about it.
  13. *shrugs* That's how it works. I was questioned by a detective because of someone suspected of murder that someone called with my cell phone a year before, they questioned me, that was it. They told me nothing else. None of my business. That's the law. They can't tell you anything unless you're in immediate danger, or there's been a media release, and they will only tell you what is in that release. "So and so was arrested and charged with ____ on date for ___. Their bail hearing is on _____. If you have any information contact us at (phone #)
  14. Newer antispychotics, AAP's (atypical) are pretty good at preventing negative symptoms like anhedonia, which is a big part of schizophrenia/psychosis, etc. It's extremely unlikely an AAP will cause anhedonia, people are extremely uninformed, and there isn't a peer reviewed study about an AAP causing anhedonia. Anhedonia can be a sign of depression. Coming down from something like psychosis, or mania (for example) isn't easy on the brain or body. Meds take a bit to kick in. @mellifluous has a very good reply.