aura

Member
  • Content count

    2921
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About aura

Profile Information

  • Gender
    genderfluid
  • Interests
    seltzer

Recent Profile Visitors

6917 profile views
  1. I couldn't keep any liquids down yesterday, so I didn't take meds last night. Trying really hard to hydrate today so I can get back to normal meds tonight.
  2. Oh my god, recovering from alcohol poisoning. This is what happens when you're manic and you just want MORE of everything. Yesterday I felt like I was dying. I still feel unwell today. Haven't taken my meds cos I'm so dehydrated. HOT MESS.
  3. I hope things get better. Maybe do something nice for yourself tonight?
  4. Spring weather and sun have me feeling maaaanicky.
  5. Tdoc wonders if I'm having a mixed episode since I'm presenting with irritability and suspicion. Who knows what's going on. All I know is that the recognition delusion is still around and I'm super creeped out. I feel like I'm recognizing everyone I see. All strangers. Agh!
  6. I went to pdoc too, but he was super annoying to get in touch with. Tdoc and pdoc work closely together though so sometimes they coordinate. Not this time. Oddly enough my fiancee, who I also get super irritable with when manic, doesn't think the way I'm challenging my doctors is a symptom. The more I think about it, though, the more I think it must be. The fact that I can't rely on other people to figure out if my anger is justified makes things really tricky.
  7. I met with my tdoc twice this week because I'm coming down (sorta) from mania. I was really dissatisfied with how she and pdoc were so difficult to reach last week when I was manic. I felt like they weren't taking my symptoms seriously. I've been angry about this because I felt they could have treated me more aggressively. I was really close to losing touch with reality completely. Also, today when I met tdoc I told her I was annoyed that she thinks I was only hypomanic, not manic, just cos she didn't see me manic. She told me that I misheard her, and that actually I've misheard a lot of what she has said (what she really said, apparently, is just that she can't be 100% sure I was full-blown manic). She thinks that when manic/hypomanic my brain filters things out in such a way that I start feeling angry/irritable towards people. This is totally true by the way... it's a classic manic symptom for me to think others are thinking negative thoughts about me. I also get really impatient and don't want to wait to hear back, so if there is a long gap of silence between texts/emails I get super frustrated. So who is right? Tdoc who thinks my irritability is a symptom, or me thinking tdoc+pdoc did a crappy job of handling my episode? How do I even start reality testing for something like this? My friends and family only know my side of the story so they are on my side. But what if this is some kind of manic funhouse mirror and my anger towards tdoc+pdoc is caused by the mania? I'm so confused! Edit: Also... I just reread this post and I realized I'm all over the place. I hope this makes some sense.
  8. I see, I guess that makes sense. From my experience and from that of people with bipolar on CB, it seems as though psychosis detached from mood is fairly common, even though it doesn't fit the diagnosis exactly.
  9. It's mostly that she didn't see me manic. She doesn't like to diagnose what she hasn't seen first hand. Personally, I think this makes no sense.
  10. @Closure Interesting... I didn't know that was a thing. Then again tdoc doesn't think I was manic last week despite elevated mood and delusional thinking, so clearly she must think psychotic hypomania is a thing (personally I just think she's wrong).
  11. Man am I coming down slowly. Not manic anymore, but still mildly hypo. Haven't been sleeping quite as much as usual and I generally feel energized. People who know me tell me I'm speaking fast. I guess as long as I can work and I'm not getting any worse it's okay? Either way... stepping up how often I see tdoc so at least I have someone keeping an eye on me. Don't see pdoc for another two weeks.
  12. I'm still feeling really creeped out by the apparent delusion (according to tdoc) I had on Thursday. Basically I met a group of new people and recognized them 100%, even though we've never met apparently. I kept trying to remind myself it's a symptom but at the same time I was wondering... what if they do know me and they're messing with me? It's been a few days since then but I still feel scared about it. What if they did know me? What if it was all a set up??
  13. That's great! I'm a fan of lithium too. Would be scared to see how my moods are without it. Speaking of moods, I'm slowly getting elevated again. I think the increased Seroquel knocked me out for a few days and now my body is getting used to it. So far I'm only in productive hypomania land. Getting lots done. Fingers crossed that things won't get any worse.
  14. I maybe spoke a little too soon about the hypomania. I'm kinda coming in and out of it. But I'm definitely NOT manic. Thanks for the support guys.