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survivingbp

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About survivingbp

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  1. Yes. I can't get life insurance, or many forms of health insurance (and have to pay a premium when I do). I can't join the police force, intelligence services or military. There are departments of the public service where I would not be able to work. The more "crazy" your diagnosis is, the more doctors write off physical health complaints. Some doctors won't take you on.
  2. Can you store your medication at your pdoc or tdoc's office, and take a day or two's dose with you at a time? Or have it stored at the pharmacy?
  3. Hey alen, a lot of what you wrote reminds me of myself prior to diagnosis. I had great grades, was passionate and motivated, a quick thinker and felt that I experienced the world more vividly than most. I was deeply philosophical. Once I emerged from my third hospital stay, my mind felt a lot blunter. I didn't have the energy or motivation. I wondered whether it was the medication. My psychiatrist also suggested post psychotic depression. Whatever it was, in my last hospitalisation, they changed up my meds, and I feel back to where I was - sharp, bouncy, deeply interested in different topics and quick to absorb information. Like the old me, just less of the anger, waking up in the wrong country or jumping off bridges stuff.
  4. Not jerky. It's just like my hand stops working and I'm suddenly not holding it anymore, and it's plummeting towards the ground. I have quick enough reflexes that I've been able to catch glass cups just before impact, but even my new phone's case is showing cracks.
  5. I haven't been sleeping well, so I don't think it's the sedation. I'm slightly worried I may need to see a neurologist, but I can't really afford another specialist.
  6. I drop things all the time. To the point where it's become a problem. Less than a month ago I dropped my cell phone and it smashed; yesterday I dropped major knives on the floor twice. I was lucky they didn't land on my feet. Has anyone had these symptoms with antipsychotics? I'm on 800 seroquel.
  7. Thanks everyone. I told him about the MI stuff within the first two weeks (I was six weeks out of hospital). He doesn't have any mental health issues, and doesn't even drink, which has been really good for keeping my self-destructive habits in check. No SI in almost two years, no alcohol in a year and a half. I worry a lot about something happening to him, or even something unforeseen changing our relationship. The possibility of divorce terrifies me, especially as I see marriage as something you do with one person, and stay together for better or for worse. I'm willing to ride through all of his troughs, and I think he will do the same for me, but I do stress that something will change that. We would like to have kids in 2-3 years, and want to be married before we have kids as his employer has a religious affiliation. We currently have a shared account for expenses like rent and food, but we were fortunate enough to be able to travel earlier this year, and had to just use one source of cash. It worked smoothly so I can see us adopting a similar approach eventually. That said, I've been watching documentaries about older women finding themselves in financial disasters following divorce or death of a parent who needed care (so getting carers benefits), and I don't want to spend the last 25 years of my life homeless.
  8. I was wondering - how long would people here feel like they needed before getting engaged (from living together, or dating, or any other metric)? Thought I'd ask about other people's experiences, given that relationships are impacted by our illnesses too. I'm really happy in the relationship I'm in, and I do want to get married to him. I feel ready to get engaged, and I know he wants to get married in the next couple of years, but I wanted to hear people's stories to make sure that I haven't missed anything regarding the mental health piece. In my case, we haven't been together for a huge amount of time (a bit over a year and a half), but we've been living together for almost a year. We have some shared bank accounts (as well as some personal) as well as some shared assets, and the fact we have similar priorities has meant that this has been seamless. We've experienced a lot together (both moved cities, a period of long distance, both changed jobs, a few things more), but he hasn't seen me full-blown manic. I have been clinically depressed and briefly hypo, but not the whole crazyland. That said, I hope that doesn't happen ever again/for as long as possible... I know that we all walk very different paths, but how long did you wait before getting engaged? Alternatively, where there certain boxes you made sure you ticked before moving forward in the relationship?
  9. If you go the antidepressant route, I would recommend checking in with a member of your treatment team briefly as often as you can. If not, someone close to you you can tell if you're talking too fast or too erratic. I became mixed quickly from a tiny dose of Zoloft (12.5mg), and was admitted to hospital involuntarily a week later. I think things would have been different had I seen a doctor in that period.
  10. It gets better with time because the meds start to work more efficiently, and sometimes it takes a few meds to get it right. I had no periods of functioning until about a year and a half into meds, because of the illness and the meds themselves. I can now work and study, at least when I'm not symptomatic.
  11. Also had whooping cough despite being vaccinated, and even that was terrible. I have what some would consider extreme views on vaccination. I honestly think that people should not be allowed to attend public events (ie. professional sports games) or attend public transport if they are unvaccinated out of choice. It might sound over the top, but thats how an outbreak where I live is spreading... I can't get over the selfishness of most antivaxxers. I don't think it should be a choice, because it's not about their child. It's about the people who can't get vaccinated.
  12. Work?

    This is me, too. I used to be able to deal with intense stress and pull it off, but now it makes my brain cave and I become symptomatic. I've had to accept that for me to be my most productive, I have to be consistent and not try and pull off sprints which used to be my preferred way of getting stuff done. For me, this also means I have to keep on going while I'm sick, unless the cognitive symptoms make it impossible. The work question ends up being so personal - we all have different solutions that work at different stages of our lives (nothing is universal!). One thing I've learned is that having no structure is actually worse for my brain and my cognition. This means that some productive activity, be it a job, volunteering, or projects at home is necessary for me.
  13. Work?

    I think work is an interesting one for people with our condition, because "classic" bipolar comprises major episodes among periods of pretty normal stability. So someone with this manifestation of bipolar can spend time working periodically without any issues related to the bipolar itself... but the better question is whether someone like this can hold down a job.
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