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About Steve223

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  1. Wait until the blood work comes back, and try not to worry in the mean time. I struggle with the same thing, and I'm always nervous about doctor's appointments and lab tests. Whenever I get my blood work done or any medical procedure, it also nags me while I'm waiting and I frequently find myself fearing the worst. Even if the blood work comes back normal, make sure you tell your doctor about the pain.
  2. There is no Trumpcare. The bill is simply a complex dance of doing nothing but at the same time giving the appearance that they're doing something. This bill isn't going anywhere in the senate, and once they change it, the freedom caucus says they want out. So, probably no repeal yet. It will likely keep going back and forth a few times before they "settle" on something. The thing is there are a few Republicans that want there to be some protections in place for healthcare, the moderates. They are a minority, but the margins are slim and the Republicans need their votes. Then, there are the Freedom Caucus members and supporters of the Freedom Caucus. These guys don't want to have anything in place in terms of healthcare, nor are they in favor of any form of government assistance for any issue. So, Republicans have to create legislation that appeases both of these groups. The fact that they don't agree on this and have to take steps to basically appease both sides simultaneously, which is nearly impossible to do, has resulted in them being slowed down drastically. This time, the bill won't make it through the Senate I don't think, and then when it gets altered and sent back to the house (if it even does), they would likely reject the changes, starting the cycle over again. At some point though, I think they will "come up with something". That will basically take away quality health coverage from anybody that isn't one of the super-rich, because while you might be able to get health insurance, there is a good chance that it won't really cover much of anything. Say for instance, health policies that don't cover medications and hospitalization and only cover office visits, or something equally ludicrous.
  3. In traffic today, this guy randomly started honking his horn and yelling at me. I have no idea what I did. I was merely driving through a parking lot and minding my own business, when suddenly this guy in the other lane just started going nuts on me. I just kept driving, and I frankly have no idea what was going on. Had I cut him off in traffic earlier? Did he think I was someone else? I'm perplexed? It's making me kind of nervous though to be honest. It seemed like I was just going about my ordinary business, and then this guy just was suddenly going gonzo on me. Hopefully, I won't run into him again.
  4. I think I've contacted them too via telepathy. I've had some lucid dream experiences of contact and some other telepathic experiences with them, but I've even seen them in person like I was saying. I find them quite fascinating, yet am also quite afraid of them even though somehow I know there's nothing to fear.
  5. Your describing theistic Satanism (a.k.a. reverse christianity). This isn't what most Satanists are though. Most Satanists are really just atheists that have ego driven attributes as the core of their philosophy... but they simply have adopted the term for shock value. Also, it's highly unlikely that the bible says anything about homosexuality. There is a quote that people interpret that way when there is no evidence of it.
  6. Is it possible to take stimulants for ADHD if you have symptoms of other mental health problems? I have experienced some issues with depression and even a few manic like behaviors at times in the past. In general, I'm relatively stable, except for these sporadic issues. I've never had a full blown manic episode, lost touch with reality or anything, but my behavior has become rather unusual as a result of these issues at times. I do have fairly significant ADHD that greatly impairs most facets of my life. I haven't sought any professional attention due to the fact that I'm concerned stimulants for the ADHD would exacerbate the other problems that I have, although they are quite minor. I also don't want to take a mix of medications in order to counteract any side effects of stimulants. Typically speaking, is it still possible to get conventional treatments for ADHD in a situation like this...... or would the doctor most likely put me on a cocktail of medications (aimed at minimizing side effects of the stimulants). The thing is, due to concerns for my long term physical health, I am rather leery of taking more than one medication. I may be interested in a single medication for ADHD (or one that would effectively manage other problems along with it), but I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking more than one thing, especially if the medications have the possibility of causing side effects on one's physical health, which it seems that most forms of medication for anything do, not just with mental health. I'm simply debating whether or not I should seek evaluation and treatment for my ADHD as an adult. I do work, and I'm actually quite good at what I do, as I work online. However, my ADHD definitely does get in the way of some (many) areas of my life.
  7. While NASA spends billions of dollars looking for aliens as life elsewhere, I feel mainstream science is shunning the fact that they're already here. I have seen UFOs three times and have been visited in my room by aliens in my room. I have seen them but it isn't just me. Thirty million people in the U.S. have seen UFOs and there are numerous photographs. So, why is it that people continue to deny that they're here? Am I missing something? I think they're 100% benevolent though so nothing to fear. I see them as humanity's guardians..... and I feel I benefited very strongly from one encounter in particular. I'd go as far as to say I think what people are as aliens may really be guardian angels. Just my beliefs on it. I can totally understand that maybe most people don't agree with me, and that's fine. Just sharing my thoughts.
  8. Sound of the universe.. In a way I think I have heard that sound, yet I've attributed it to my tinnitus. The sound of the universe idea sounds cooler though for sure, maybe there's something to it who knows. We don't know everything that's for sure. I've never thought of the universe as having a sound but this idea really fascinates me now Also what are sine waves?
  9. Yeah, that's how it can be sometimes. While I rarely hear voices anymore (though it's happened a few times in the past few weeks), it's often like that IME. For me, it's probably more the shower though my bedroom also seems to be a bit of a "hot spot" when I experience this. I think it has to do with the ambient sounds in the environment, some areas have more ambient white noise that can easily become distorted into voices. Without any real sounds in an environment, I'd actually hypothesize that it may not even be possible to have auditory hallucinations as the mind would have nothing to distort..... though such an environment isn't possible under most circumstances, so this may be somewhat of a moot point. I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this, but I'm glad it seems to have diminished since your medication. While I haven't taken any medications, I'm overall feeling quite a bit better than I was a few weeks ago when I got rather paranoid about some mildly unusual things. Among those who are hearing voices, I would guess that they typically occur more commonly in some areas as opposed to others, at least this makes sense given my experience.
  10. I've had ideas that were rather off base, such as the idea that I was being spied through my computer by a hacker or shadowy organization. However, there were real life events that led me to this conclusion, albeit a wrong one. Largely, it had to do with misinterpreting some computer code in my system's registry but there were other things too. While I was clearly wrong in this idea, I had completely logical thoughts that led me to this worrying conclusion. It wasn't like I just woke up one morning and believed this idea without thinking, I thought the whole thing through and came to this conclusion that was wrong. Personally, I wouldn't see this as having been a delusion but simply being wrong? So, what exactly separates being delusional from merely being wrong. If being wrong is delusional, then we're all delusional about something 100% of the time whether we have a diagnosis or not? I understand there likely is a distinction but I'm not sure what it is exactly.
  11. This is edited because I realized I was just back to my old baseless fears
  12. While I was in college, I will admit that I didn't really even bother to do simple things like brushing my hair (and I have hair that's medium length/on the longer end of medium rather than short hair). I also would rarely shave and sometimes didn't even bother to wash my hair or anything. Pretty much the only "grooming" I did back then was wiping my rear end..... and brushing my teeth assuming I didn't forget for some reason which happened at times. I did generally shower but only because I've enjoyed showering and have found the falling water to be quite meditative. If I was going to work, I had slightly better grooming (e.g. would make a halfhearted effort at combing my hair)..... otherwise I probably generally appeared quite disheveled and possibly even "crazy" much of the time. However, now I pay a lot of attention to my grooming and appearance. Not only do I comb my hair and all now, but I even bother to do things like using conditioner and making sure it is combed properly. In the past, it wasn't so much that grooming was something I was averse to.... just that my mind was otherwise occupied and I didn't feel the need to bother/would just forget about things like brushing my hair.
  13. Check out this cat video: Apparently, cats can swim?!?!?! I had no idea. I know that my cat HATES water and shakes his head and runs away if even a drop of water accidentally gets on him, and all the cats I've known over the years hated it too. However, apparently there are some that actually like to swim.
  14. I just wanted to say that I'm doing much better, and I'm not feeling so paranoid anymore. My mind seems to have stopped weaving these illogical, paranoid scenarios, and I have been feeling much more myself yesterday and today. I also haven't had any more hallucination incidents other than that one time the other day that I mentioned in my previous post. I haven't seen my tdoc yet, but I will in the near future. I haven't made the appointment yet as I've been very busy with work, but I'll definitely call him as soon as I get a chance.
  15. I'm starting to feel paranoid and feel I'm going crazy, unfortunately. Not in a terrible way I don't think, but I feel like I'm losing it at the moment. When I was out earlier, I started randomly feeling like everyone was staring at me and talking about me even though that wasn't the case. Then, I got mad at my Mom but my reasons were quite all over the place and it's difficult for me to really explain what was going on. She started asking me if I felt like I was losing it and I just said I didn't know honestly. She asked me if I was okay and needed to talk about anything, and I didn't want to now but she was encouraging me.... and said for me to talk to her at some point, but I don't know what to say. Just now, I was randomly on the computer just browsing a random website that was a different site but similar to this one and I began to have paranoid thoughts that maybe it was somehow set up as a secret conspiracy to spy on people. This was a couple minutes ago, I realize it was absurd..... but it was just freaky the way I just started thinking this perfectly normal website.... suddenly was part of some shadowy conspiracy with no logical reason at all. Earlier, I was having paranoid thoughts regarding the Illuminati messing with me and hacking my facebook account to make it look like I unfriended this girl I liked (in reality she actually just ditched me unfortunately, no Illuminati hacking). It's rather difficult to shake these paranoid, nonsensical thought patterns that keep arising in my mind even though I'm realizing it's all in my mind. I really don't want to tell anyone about this though, as it really makes very little sense when I think about it with a logical mind..... yet at points somehow I convince myself I'm not paranoid and there's some absurd scenario going on. Last week, my fear/delusion was the men in black (e.g. alien hybrids working for a shadowy Illuminati type organization) having gone after the girl that I liked and then doing some sort of surveillance on me (but I didn't want to talk about it) at the time due to concerns they could be watching the stuff I post here remotely. I thought of talking about it with another self help forum that I'm part of and easily able to use easily with a Tor browser. Sometimes, I'm nervous to post about such personal stuff for fear that my posts are being logged/monitored in my ISPs servers and making the wrong impression online could result in surveillance on my computer to watch me through my webcam and/or the microphones on my computer. However, I was even concerned about that for a moment for fear that the men in black could be psychic and know what I was doing even if I posted on the other forum through this advanced "proxy", though it's different than an ordinary proxy but explaining the differences would take up way too much of this post and is irrelevant to my mental health concerns. For a moment, I considered making a tent out of velostat in my room (a material that is purported to block alien telepathy, I read about it online) to post underneath, though when I started thinking about that, I figured the velostat tent plus Tor would prevent the men in black from being able to get me.... then I realized it was all paranoia. However, I did have some reason to be concerned, as the girl I liked had moved her blog and suddenly ceased to be active on facebook, after having made a final fb post about UFOs prior to deleting her account. Frankly, I just took all this as a stretch of logical thinking that had gone a bit awry. Now, I got paranoid again.... without as much of a good reason. I work online, but it's been rather difficult to focus today due to all the things going on. I feel like I should get off the computer since much of my paranoia seems to be centered around hackers... and at points I find myself nervous that the cursor is about to start moving by itself as a result of my computer being hacked by someone whose spying on me. I think I'm fine but my paranoia is really getting the better of me these days, and I really hate this feeling. I feel like I've gone crazy. Even right now, I have fears that someone is somehow going to show up at my door, and I keep weaving these paranoid scenarios in my head. Literally earlier today, I got myself paranoid that some serial killer might show up at my door and kill me. Not sure why I thought that, but I just worried about this for some reason. I also was in the shower and heard people talking, when no one was there. This sort of thing used to happen to me all the time, but it has been ages since this was the case. It really annoyed me and confused me, and I hate to admit it but I just said, "shut up" to absolutely no one but knew no one was there.... which was why I said shut up. I hate to admit this, and I feel like a lunatic for even admitting to such a thing. However, this forum is called "crazy" boards after all, so I know people aren't going to judge me for it here I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about this, I've always been a very rational person and never have had psychosis or anything like that, I just sometimes get myself in these strange states of mind. I've never needed any medications or anything, I've always been able to get out of it on my own but it had been a long while since I've had these issues and I certainly haven't missed it. I felt so rational and felt I was beyond all this crap.... but I guess I'm still a lunatic, as always. I probably should see my tdoc again. Not sure what I should tell him, as I do not want to be involuntarily hospitalized. I'd just like to talk to someone about what is going on in my head, without being put in some hospital. If they did hospitalize me involuntarily over this, I would be beyond angry to be honest. I am having issues for sure, but I certainly don't need to lose my freedom over it which is why I am rather reluctant to seek any help for the particular issues and the nature of the issues I'm dealing with at the moment. If the mods feel this post doesn't belong in the anxiety section, they're free to move it to another section, whatever section they feel is appropriate. I can understand that the nature of my issues may go beyond simply being "anxiety" and are more of these strange, frightening stories that my mind keeps weaving that have loose connections to what is going on.