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paintedsky

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About paintedsky

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    female
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    USA

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  1. I'm going to write a list of things I want to talk about. I really appreciate this idea.
  2. I'm scheduled to see a psychologist next week. At my community health center I would wait months to see someone only to have them shuffled to a different location and I'm put back on the waiting list. I never get much past introducing myself and a few sessions. It has been over a decade since I've had a regular doctor other than for meds. I've got an intake at a private practice so hopefully this doctor won't just disappear on me. I'm not sure where to begin with talking to him. I feel like I have so many issues that impair my ability to have a healthy life that it would be overwhelming and counterproductive to show up and simply unload a list of problems. Any advice for meeting a new therapist when you feel like a total basket case?
  3. Lithium worked to stabilize my behavior so that people I knew felt I was much better. It made me very flat and perhaps easier to be around. But inside my head I was more psychotic than ever and extremely depressed. I began to constantly ruminate on suicidal thoughts, which I never had before. So I would caution anyone who deals with psychosis that lithium could have the affect of worsening delusional thoughts while making you seem outwardly stable.
  4. What's in a honey moon salad? Just lettuce alone with no dressing.
  5. Disability lawyers also usually work for free until you win, at which point they take a portion of your award.
  6. I'm a lady in the U.S. who's about your age. I applied to ssdi multiple times and I was told no, even though I had a psychiatric illness and couldn't keep a job because of it. I get it when you say you simply can longer meet expectations at work. I was in the same boat with an increasingly prohibitive resume and continued failed work attempts. Even if they denied you, in the future you might be able to get ssdi if your situation doesn't improve. I had to get a disability lawyer to win my case. It seems to be the only way to get taken seriously by these programs.
  7. The research was really interesting to me. The brains of some of the patients were noticeably changed in size and symmetry, suggesting that either schizophrenia itself can change the brain or they speculated it could also be the result of medication. I wonder which it is. They used MRI to show the differences. Some of the researchers suggested treating patients with antipsychotics to prevent the onset of mental illness. The young woman at the end wasn't diagnosed with a mental illness, but took meds because she was 'at risk' for schizophrenia. I wonder if this will become common.
  8. Thank you for your input. I'm glad you got your license back in the end, that is helpful to know. It sounds like you had really harsh consequences for someone who wasn't thinking clearly. I wouldn't expect to be above the law as mentally ill, but it would be nice to have some understanding. I suppose it's a complex issue. I love all of your suggestions. But mostly because I get nervous going places that are busy. I drive only locally, when it's not a high traffic time of day and avoid busy places like the plague. You make an excellent point that driving on meds can slow your reaction time.
  9. Here is a little story to go with my question. The last time I was psychotic, I was driving around in absolute terror that everyone on the road knew who I was and hated me and wanted me dead. There was a 'leader' so to speak who was in a huge rv who was following me like the grim reaper. I was petrified and kept taking exits and turns and getting back on the highway trying to confuse him so he couldn't kill me. I kept seeing this rv following me and waiting for me everywhere I would go. People in other cars would alert him to my whereabouts. think I drove for nearly an entire day around in circles relentlessly perused by an imaginary assassin in his evil rv. Drove back and forth along back roads. Up and down the highways. If i stopped for gas I was only safe because they knew I was done for anyway. They knew I would die and were toying with me. It was a horrific delusion. I don't have any explanation for the rv and how it could have been there the whole time. Perhaps a hallucination that every large vehicle I saw was the same one. By the end of it I was so petrified I could no longer go on and I had resigned to let him kill me. I stopped at a gas station and was weeping, couldn't take it anymore and someone called the police. I'm sure I looked a fright and was scaring people. And i wasn't making any sense and the cops know me so it was off to the ER. That God damn rv was parked right there too. Don't ask me how it all worked. I wish I knew. I guess I was driving safely even though my mind was junk or i would have got pulled over. Surely I shouldn't be driving in such condition. So my answer seems to be only that it is difficult to take someone's license for being crazy...
  10. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv0b1unxUpM This youtube video is a documentary about schizophrenia and brain development. I thought it was nice to watch because it wasn't judgmental. The whole thing is pretty interesting. There's a part where they study a set of twins and one has schizophrenia and the other doesn't. a They recreate what it's like to have psychosis and paranoia a few times. It's so scary and really realistic to me. They did a better job with this than I've seen before. Watch the whole movie for the informative and heartfelt insight into schizophrenia or skip to 26:35 for intense creepy dramatization.
  11. In the states we have the somewhat morbid expression 'a deer in headlights' to describe this feeling. It's when you are so overwhelmed that you can't move. So I think a lot of people know what you are talking about feeling unable to respond to stress. I have the opposite problem where when im stressed in public I start making all sorts of random weird faces and talk to myself. I'm not sure which is worse!
  12. I would rather not drive truthfully, but there's no public transportation where I live.
  13. Has anyone had their license taken from them as a result of a psychotic condition? I wonder if someone can be deemed permanently unfit to drive after a diagnosis of schizophrenia or bipolar with psychosis? Ever heard of this happening to someone? I usually don't drive if I am feeling scattered, but it has happened that I am psychotic and get into a vehicle and drive around in a confused and honestly unsafe way. Sometimes friends and family have taken my keys. Thankfully I've never caused any accidents other than myself going off the road one time. Sometimes I'm surprised they haven't taken my license from me. Is this a possibility?
  14. Dentist woes- somewhat gross sorry

    I wanted to update for anyone who read my post that I am not having this issue anymore. I seriously have no idea what caused it but it is better. I was nearly at the point of going to a doctor to see if I had some kind of muscle degeneration in my face because I was having so much trouble eating. No answer if it was related to the cleaning. Just good news that my mouth is normal again.
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