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About Wooster

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    "I need a drink and a peer group." -Ford Prefect

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    a planet that's evolving And revolving at 900 miles an hour
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    enjoy your life

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  1. Nicely done on the 4 months without relapse. Any time we change behaviors it's pretty normal to have relapses. The idea, though, is to figure out where our resources weren't up to the challenge, and shore things up for next time. There's a pinned thread at the top of this forum that has loads of suggestions for things to do instead of self harm if you're interested.
  2. In some states, jt, you don't even have the option of getting scheduled meds as a 3 month supply.
  3. Just a gentle reminder that we are not using pod's given name on the boards here, as he may have shared it with some of you individually, but it is not universally used among the general board population. Even once someone has died, we want to protect their privacy and anonymity here at CB. We don't know to whom pod was "out" about his MI, and want to respect that unless we know for sure otherwise.
  4. Thank you so much for the update, Ducky. I will hold the GoFundMe open until we know about Brian and Ricky's placement. If they are adopted out in SC, I will pass the donation on as stated.
  5. The moderating team has established a Go Fund Me to help get Brian and Ricky to their new home with JustDucky. We usually only allow members to post fundraising information in their own signatures as a link to something external (because lots of reasons). However, this is a unique situation where we decided it would be helpful to make this happen if possible. https://www.gofundme.com/brian-and-rickys-new-home
  6. I suspect your body chemistry definitely comes into play, RyanL. I was very reluctant to switch from lorazepam to clonazepam about 6 years ago because in my work I had seen a lot of people abuse and addict themselves to clonazepam. I'm not surprised that the addiction psychMD (they all have the same degrees, btw, physicians and psychiatrists have MDs or DOs) had a better sense of prescribing benzos inside a treatment program. There's a lot of oversight in that setting compared to general physical medicine practice, or even outpatient psychiatry. Some pdocs decide they just don't want the hassle of dealing with scheduled drugs like benzos and stimulants. I guess that's their prerogative. But it certainly makes it difficult to access a med that has valid uses in psychiatry.
  7. Sometimes chat goes on the fritz for no discernable reason. Unfortunately it's not something we can fix on the CB side of the board software. Thanks for your patience when that happens.
  8. I would tend to disagree about the generalizations (in general) you're making about psych docs. I've had some that were lovely and some that were awful. Some that were in small towns and some that were in major metro areas. It's true that abuse of benzos is one really strong reason more docs are reluctant to prescribe them. However, it's also the case that we're learning more about the long-term effects of benzos on the brain as well as coupling psychotherapy with pharmacotherapy in more effective ways. It sucks when you've got something that works for you and a new doc wants to make changes. It's one of the reasons I've resisted going to find a new prescriber for the last 4 months since I've moved. The thing that I really need most from my providers is a trauma-informed care perspective. And I can understand how you'd want to prioritize someone who knows there's a time and place for benzos. Though I have to say with a history of addiction, especially to alcohol, I'm not at all surprised prescribers would like to see you lower your dose. And that doesn't make it suck any less, for sure.
  9. The agoraphobia seems to cause a substantial limitation to your quality of life. out of curiosity, have you been able to connect with a psychotherapist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders? It seems wanting something new to help you feel better could also be accomplished by being able to take steps toward leaving the house on your own.
  10. I have trophy envy. And no candy is a-ok.
  11. I see you. I remember you. Fondly. Please be here as much as is helpful.
  12. That's so weird. There must be a glitch in some system somewhere. I know at the CVS near me they were upgrading all their computer systems about a month ago and the IT person and the pharmacy staff were all having a rough go of it.
  13. That's so weird, @melissaw72. You can successfully call other numbers from your landline, I'm presuming?
  14. I'm hoping someone who knows more about pharmacology than me can speak to whether my pet theory has any validity. @notloki?
  15. I have a pet theory about benzos and pain: benzos act on GABA-a receptors. The lack of benzo could be contributing to both increased pain perception as well as increased muscle tension (from anxiety?). A med that has less physical dependence and therefore tolerance/withdrawal effect problems is gabapentin aka Neurontin. Might be worth asking if it's appropriate in your situation? Physical dependence is not the same as addiction, btw. Addiction is misusing a substance for psychological/emotional reasons in spite of increasing negative consequences. Physical dependence or tolerance means your body is used to a certain amount of the substance such that abrupt discontinuation or decrease causes withdrawal effects. Something that might also help with your physical pain and anxiety both is a gentle movement practice like yoga or tai chi or qigong. The last time I saw an eye doctor I was about to turn 40 (am now 42). He went ON AND ON about how "now that you're turning 40" it's pretty common to expect decline in close up vision. Considering I've had glasses/contacts since third grade for being "nearsighted" (laughable since I have to hold my hand about 4" from my face before I can see it clearly), I'm not looking forward to needing reading glasses or longer arms!