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About Wooster

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    "I need a drink and a peer group." -Ford Prefect

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    a planet that's evolving And revolving at 900 miles an hour
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    enjoy your life

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  1. i'm not sure what to do.

    It's really challenging to find other ways to regulate emotions without self harming once that's become a "go to" method. It's something that's helping you in the short term to deal with what's going on, but sadly causes more problems in the long run. One of the best ways to learn some of these skills is through a fairly intensive program called dialectical behavioral therapy. It's annoying as shit to learn, and obnoxious to use sometimes, but it can really be a game changer. The "full meal deal' of DBT consists of a weekly psychoeducation group, a weekly individual session to help apply the skills to your situation, phone coaching for skills in the moment, psych med consult, and a weekly treatment team meeting (happens without participants). It's not the only way to address self harming, but it's a really comprehensive way to dig in and pick up alternative ways to deal with life.
  2. Just as good, actually. initially I started on sertraline and after a lot of changes ended with sertraline + bupropion. When I started back, I started with bupropion and added sertraline. Doesn’t seem to have affected much if anything at all, except I didn’t have anorgasmia from sertraline when I added it to bupropion. I did when I first started sertraline.
  3. My experience hasn't been with Effexor, but I've stopped and re-started both sertraline (Zoloft) and bupropion (Wellbutrin).
  4. This is one of the most informative threads I've seen in awhile. Can we have more psychopharm discussions, please?
  5. It also varies highly based on which pharmacy and part of the country you're in. Costco, WalMart, and Target have some generic price guarantees, so it might be worth checking there if you have those in your area. Other small business pharmacies might have good prices on generics as well. I've found this to be more likely than national chains like CVS and Rite-Aid where I live now.
  6. Before you ditch your current therapist, though, I'd encourage you to be really really honest about what's going on in your mind and life, not just day to day chit-chat. You had mentioned you were doing behavioral therapy, so I'm surprised to hear it's just chit-chat about day to day life rather than learning how to challenge your thoughts and manage your emotions differently.
  7. Any therapy that's going to help you get a sense of stability with regard to your emotions would likely be helpful. It also means that you have to be in a place where you're willing to challenge your own thoughts and experiences, even as your emotions are incredibly powerful. The thing you said right at the end about you'd like to kill this woman is a little scary to hear. I'm not sure what that means with regard to true homicidal intent vs a fantasy where you get to be the only one she connects with. It's REALLY important to talk about that with whoever you're currently seeing for therapy. Especially since you've talked also about stalking. One of the things you can do to help yourself most, though, is to stop using substances like pot and alcohol that lower your inhibitions. I'd hate to see you act on a thought or urge while you're under the influence only to regret it later when you sober up in a jail cell.
  8. "You don't even know what I meant by National Socialist, I'm a God-Damned Strasserite..." You know... because killing Jews based on economic reasons is so much more reasonable than killing them based on religious or ethnic reasons.
  9. Homicidal fantasies

    If you have a gun and a license to carry it, and you'd like to keep those things it seems to me it would be in your best interests to figure this stuff out.
  10. Homicidal fantasies

    You may not necessarily be involuntarily hospitalized. There are voluntary treatment options that would allow you to explore your risk of harm to yourself and to others. However, what's definitely NOT acceptable is to keep actively telling us here about your thoughts and plans without taking steps to make it different.
  11. Homicidal fantasies

    @nestor your fantasies have clearly crossed over into action, even if it is the action of putting yourself in situations of potential harm. This is beyond the scope of what a peer support site can and should tackle. Please get yourself assessed and treated by a qualified professional. You deserve support to get through this, and we would be happy to hear how you are progressing in treatment. i don't say this because I'm trying to shut you down. Only because we would do the same if someone were having the same kinds of fantasies about suicide and passively putting themselves in situations where they hope something bad would happen. @surreal as to your original question about whether homocidal thoughrs are bad, the answer is "it depends". sometimes fantasies are harmless ways too blow off steam about stressful situations. And sometimes, like in the thoughts Nestor describes, there is more time and energy invested in the thoughts, the more dangerous they become to yourself and others. In any case, they are a real and serious symptom that deserve assessment in person by a qualified medical professional.
  12. FINALLY folded and put all my laundry away so I'm not getting dressed out of the clothes basket for the first time in about a month.
  13. I guess I just need support...

    So how'd it turn out? What did you decide to do?
  14. Hoping for a recovery

    That's sweet of your friend to provide a small incentive like that for you.
  15. Homicidal fantasies

    I understand this is a fantasy you've got. How does this fantasy help you? What function does it fill for you?