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About ladyboss

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    Daddy's Lil' Monsta
  • Birthday 07/24/96

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    You see, a lot like gravity - all it takes is a little push.

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  1. Here comes my wonderful pity party, care to join? It seems like after my grandmother passed, that my life has been in complete shambles. When I think I'm getting it on the right track, it gets turned upside fucking down again...I'm really tired of it. I'l get a job, get a place - a fairly nice one at that, life will be good. Then, I lose my job, and my SSI isn't enough for my place. I get evicted. I move, I found something else. I met my fiance here, I never once regret this move. Well, more issues, move again. Well, my fiance and my income cover the bills. Not living a high life, but getting by. Comfortable. Content. Fiance loses his job, we move again. this place....was full of drama, cops get called , fiance goes to jail My fiance has been in jail for over two weeks. I still can't find a job, I'm currently staying in a motel FOR THE NIGHT, and having to figure out my next move. I can't do this all by myself. I just can't and I have to. If I go home, I lose my fiance. if I go home. I've failed officially. It seems like each time I fuck up though, it's like little voices are telling me to go home. :[
  2. I get into a phase where I'm like "I'm gonna be productive, and take my meds, and be awesome and nice to myself!" and I'm happy for like two weeks maybe and then it's like someone kicked me in the foot and I fall flat on the floor and fell all mopey again. Regardless of the weather.
  3. I'll need it, but he will more than I. That and we're sort of engaged
  4. I live in Texas. I looked up everything already for my state, "no victim, no crime." he doesn't have to show. Other than that and murder, where the victim cannot be a "willing victim," there are very few times when the State's Attorney will proceed with a case if the victim does not want to pursue charges. In most situations, no victim = no crime. Even in situations where a police officer witnesses someone strike another person without provocation, if the victim isn't willing to cooperate, the officer can not arrest the suspect for battery. One of the greatest sources of frustration in my career comes from victims who are not willing to cooperate with a criminal case against their attacker. I understand the issues involved with domestic violence, but I can't understand it when someone who just got punched for no reason says, "No... I don't want to do anything about it." can be found here. I have, however, been told that the police officer can press charges, and seeing as the police officer was a dickwad.....he might. I can always see about getting him hooked up with my friends lawyer, he doesn't have a court date yet.....I'll wait till he's outta jail, one step at a time.
  5. My friend said he could see if he could use his lawyer. but the person "pressing charges" wants to drop them. my boyfriend basically got himself in trouble cause HE called the cops after getting punched and pulling a knife. the knife, is what caused the problem. The law states, "no victim, no crime" in case such as this. If the guy doesn't show to court, no victim no crime.
  6. If he doesn't get bonded out 6-12 mo. according to the BB. His visitations are only one day out of the week. Tuesdays. It's been told 3000-3700, he had someone who tried to bond him out today, but he refused to sign his papers. I don't know why
  7. I don't know if anyone else has dealt with their s/o being incarcerated before, but I feel alone without him here. He was charged with aggravated assault. He didn't actually hurt anyone, but he had a weapon.....The guy claims he'd call today and drop the charges when I told him how long my boyfriend could be gone; including over Father's Day, and not see his kid. My birthday, and probably his. I ended up losing the place I was staying with him and moved in with a long time friend. I feel lonely. Sad. I barely got any sleep the first night. I'm not used to not sleeping next to him. Or hearing his voice as much, seeing him, cuddling with him. I miss him so much Anyone have any ideas or input what I should do while I wait....?
  8. I've been seeing my counselor on and off because I've gotta do the entire thing with Medicaid to get a ride, which is annoying, cause if I wanna go/need to go that night, I have to take the city bus, before it stops running. And if my boyfriend goes with me, he's gotta have the money. I ride for free cause I've got my old college ID, we'll see how much longer I can get away with it seeing as its expired this year. More or less we talk about what I want to, yak now.
  9. I do, on that last part. He's never had a girlfriend take care of him. I cook, clean, do his laundry, etc for him since he works. He considers me keeping the house, "my job". Although right now there's not much housekeeping to do considering we're sleeping in his brother's kitchen and half of our stuff is still packed because this is only temporary since he lost his job. I took care of him when he was sick too, and he's not used to that much. He tells me that too. He was the one who cooked, no one ever cleaned apparently so his home was a wreck constantly, etc. And any time I say I'm scared he'll leave or cheat, he's like "why would I give up something so great? I LOVE YOU. You are gorgeous, sexy, you make me feel loved. You cook for me, clean for me, etc. I've never had that before." Just seems too good to be true sometimes I guess.
  10. I've been getting therapy, so has he with me. My counselor said that this has been an ongoing problem with all of my relationships, and that it's me, not them
  11. i always feel like i'm not good enough, so i kinda always think i'm being cheated.
  12. Sounds to me like your dad might have been trying to find "someone to fill the void" if he thought your mom was gonna pass soon. I know that sounds terrible, and I mean no harm in my words, but some people think that way. My grandmother whom passed away Sept. of last year, also suffered from Dementia, which is a very ugly and scary illness/disease to have since it leads to Alzheimer's. It could have been because of the lack of intimacy, like you said as well. Your mom may've not felt up to sexual activity, or if it was an ongoing affair may have no longer felt attractive to your father. There's basically a couple reasons why that could have happened. I agree with the other users, please seek therapy. You could really benefit from it.
  13. To see if he's been on something like a dating site, or something. I don't know. We also got new phones recently, and he's not even put a lock on his. He's even told me, I know with you, I'm not gonna get no privacy. It pisses me off, but it is what it is I guess. And if I ask to borrow his phone (I did this when my phone was totally broken a few weeks ago) he would just hand it over. Wouldn't say, "ok hold on" or anything like he was hiding something. Almost every time I'd snoop on his phone, I found NOTHING. But he's so weird about the computer, so my thing is, he must be hiding something then? I'm afraid of him cheating/losing him to someone else/etc because I love him :/
  14. Before I got my current Dx I had a bad anxiety attack before going to the doctor, too. I feel like it's your anxiety's way of saying, "oh ho ho, you're not going anywhere! You're gonna get on meds to control me? You don't CONTROL ME, I CONTROL YOU." that sounded hella insane, but oh well. You just can't let your demons win, you know you gotta see the doctor to get better. So tell that anxiety/panic, "move over fucker, i'm in control." I really should take my own advice. Good luck.
  15. I really, really need to stop snooping through my boyfriend's things. He's so particular about his computer privacy, and today, he left it unlocked because we'd been watching Ash v. The Evil Dead which he had saved on his documents. I snooped thru his browser find out....he has NONE. I confront him about it, he says, "that's weird because I DON'T delete my history." i know when he watches porn, he private browses. And his internet settings aren't to where it doesn't save the history. They're to where it DOES. I even asked if he was telling the truth, and if he like swore on his kid. His kid means a lot to him since they don't see each other much, and he wasn't given much a chance to parent him because of past shit happening. He said he did. So, for him to say that, it really means it must be true. I just don't get it though. Unless he's hiding something, and the last thing he got on was KP Slash Haven, which is a fanfic/fandom type site for Kim Possible/Shego/etc lovers. Which, I know he frequents. So why delete that? I also know he was on there cause he got locked out, and then because he left the laptop sitting on the bed to use the restroom and I got up to make coffee and saw the webpage. He's not weird about his computer usage, and I'm on here more than him. I did delete some files a week or so ago, because the computer's lacking storage space. And I was saving a funny photo. He knows that, so he made the suggestion of that being why. But, does browswer history save to the hard drive? I was deleting some things I didn't know what they were, which upset him, because he didn't want me to delete something the computer needed to run. I did that on accident once with my phone and almost wasn't able to use it....oops. I mean, does it sound suspicous? He's been pointing out lately that I need to not think he loves me/doesn't care about me. I was feeling suicidal the other day cause we had a huge argument, and he called into work to stay home and watch me, and got fired. From a good paying job, with benefits, insurance, 401k, etc. he REALLY needed that insurance. he needs to see an eye doctor and a dentist. he also agreed to seeing a PNP and getting on medication and doing therapy, because he promised he would. I know I need to stop projecting my insecurities on him, but sometimes I can't help it"?