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About sugarsugar

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  1. Do I dare?

    Yes, remember the trouble it caused you before. But personally I find just increasing the light level in my house helps. Lots of high wattage and many lamps on, I avoid dimly lit rooms. And for a while I used a daylight simulator alarm clock to wake up to. No it’s not a light box but increasing the light level helps me anyway. Going to dimly lit places is bad for me. But don’t go down the manic path. It’s hard to come back and it’s risky. Yep, been there.
  2. If your thyroid is hyper that could explain a lot. But if you’ve had a protracted withdrawal that’s different. You may be ok now but I’ll share my experience. Years ago I was a very heavy drinker and had terrible withdrawals when I stopped. They just wouldn’t quit and I was told some unlucky folks have that happen. In desperation I saw an acupuncturist who didn’t know about that but treated my symptoms based on whatever her criteria were. It worked for me and what a relief, no thanks to my regular medical team who called me manipulative and drug seeking. So maybe if you have more issues acupuncture might be helpful. Here there are sliding scale acupuncture clinics so not working might not rule it out. But the first acupuncture person I saw said she had no clue how to help me, she was a newbie, so it’s not guaranteed. I just pass it on because you’re not getting far with your pdoc so maybe knowing about my experience might help someday. Maybe I should go again myself.
  3. I don’t know what all you’ve tried or who you’ve seen but I can tell you I’ve been in a similar place with similar issues. I tried so many meds. Finally my pdoc told me some people are just depressed. That was not helpful at all. In the end, my insurance changed and I needed to change pdocs. That was the best move ever, I got on different meds and for the first time in my life have had significant time not depressed. There’s more to the story but my point is that even after years it can be possible to improve with the right med combo. Please keep that in mind and keep trying even if you need different pdoc to get there. I understand that when you’re depressed it’s hard to even have interests, hobbies, or such and I’ve been there too. I don’t know if this has helped at all but I hope so—I was so bad for so long, I wish anyone had ever told me it could be different.
  4. Orangey, just wondering if you are doing better, letting you know someone is still here for support.
  5. I wish I could help. I’m super afraid of two things—being called drug seeking or manipulative and I’ve been called both. It’s a way of discounting whatever else you say. I’m not sure why with other conditions being informed and proactive is considered a plus but not with mental illness issues. And I’ve learned that saying you have drug allergies also works against you. Discouraging. There must be a way to present things to counter the labels—I hear saying you want to partner with them to find a solution is the buzzword—I wish I knew how to reset their preconceived notions. I fear the whole opioid crisis will affect us all for a while but I hope you can still get something that works for you.
  6. Good luck. Menopause can suck sometimes.
  7. I never could take birth control pills but never tried after a severe problem long ago. For menopause, I am on an HRT patch and it’s great with no worsening of any anxiety or depression and I can actually sleep all night. I’m sorry I had a Dr who didn’t offer HRT for years, my quality of life suffered. But as with any hormones, ymmv.
  8. I’ve never been on many benzos because none of my Drs were into them but propranolol does help with some symptoms. I’m still anxious but some of the physical parts are controlled. Still can’t drive on freeways but at least I can sort of be a passenger, so I don’t want to oversell it. Your new dr doesn’t sound helpful so I hope you can get some good care somehow and not just cold turkey and nothing else.
  9. Costs of Bipolar

    Is there any chance of overtime or something to raise a bit more? I haven’t been in this position lately but in past when I needed emergency money I cleaned some houses (not remotely my line of work) and got a friend to pay me for a days temp work. Any options to help raise some emergency money? I do think it takes time to evict in most places, is there a local legal aid or tenant union you can ask for advice? Also in desperation I could take a cash advance on my credit card, not ideal and maybe not possible for you but I’ll throw that out just in case. Mainly at this point I just run up huge debt but I’ve been without funds or resources in the past so I know it’s hard to generate funds. Don’t give up yet, but call legal aid or whoever helps tenants in your area.
  10. Since Jan 2018

    I don’t even know a total from my last manic episode and I’m not going to go there after the fact—it happens sometimes and it’s over now. I hope your episode is medicated and over now. Be sure to get STD tested after your unprotected encounters but I’ve been where you are.
  11. Job interviews

    I applied for a job a while back and googled “interview questions “ and found lots of lists with how to and how not to answer. Many of them were questions I actually got asked, so that was helpful. There were a few that took me by surprise, like what was a difficult situation at work and how did I handle it, and those were tricky. Good luck with your future interviews, if you need them.
  12. I’ve been manic and crazy sexual and thought some pretty out of character things. That’s part of the whole manic experience for many of us. I’m glad you’re coming down from all the chaos and hope you have escaped harm. Keep, or start, taking your meds and try to remember how it started so you can head it off next time. It’s easy to let shame and regret kick in but realize your brain chemistry was off. Stay in touch, I know many here understand.
  13. I totally feel for you. I have trouble going to a lot of places and can’t drive on freeways, among other things. My pdoc told me that I can, I just think I can’t, and I should just do it. Well, that is not helpful in any way. I am able to go in elevators now, which at one time I couldn’t, but that’s different. If you say weekly is too often, and she can’t accept that, maybe she isn’t helping. For me, it’s fine to say prison words are the problem but it just means I rephrase it to say it makes me severely anxious and panicky—and would that really help me? Not in my case. I don’t know if it’s ocd that’s my problem around these things but I haven’t found a solution but I know telling me the reason I can’t do this because I say I can’t is not a solution. I wish I could say something worked well for me, but I can tell you you’re not alone in finding her approach less than useful. I hope your next tdoc is more helpful.
  14. Interesting that thinking on this has changed so much over the years. I used to become a totally different person premenstrually, and at the time progesterone was the solution. I admit it made me feel better than any med or substance ever has before or since, it was like a miracle drug. I switched to otc progesterone cream and it still worked. Then I aged out of needing it but now I see that it’s ADs that are used instead now—does no one use hormonal treatments for a hormonal disorder anymore? I’m sorry your GYN is useless. I wish I had some current treatment advice that might help but at least know I’ve been there. Are there any GYNs who specialize In hormonal issues you could see? I know that’s the route I had to take but it was worth it.
  15. I was extremely tired and diagnosed with autoimmune hypothyroid plus a couple other less chronic things, and I did feel better after starting meds. I’ve been on them for years and my labs on them are fine. It wasn’t magic like I’d hoped but not interested in going off, since I see no reason the underlying cause would be gone.