WinterTidings

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About WinterTidings

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  1. Towards whom? I don't recall Tri meaning any hostility towards you (but aware that intent isn't the whole of communication, so apologies if that was the effect), but simply that the Identified Patient in a family unit is more often than not not the actual cause of the problem- There is no amount of therapy that can ultimately mitigate the damage that toxic parents will do, though it can help with the damage, it's ultimately treating the symptoms & not the root cause. I do not think that self-talk & communication with parents are the root issues here, though I am not hfb. If it's hostility towards homophobic parents, then.. Guilty as charged, I guess? Our stance is that if you're going to bring a human into the world but will only give them your affection, acceptance & support if they 'turn out' a certain way you had envisioned, then.. Well, emotional neglect is a form of abuse, and the onus is on them to stop being abusive. Wynn
  2. This isn't negative self-talk, this is homophobic parental abuse. "Therapy yourself out of this" isn't going to work here, not least because it redirects blame & onus for change back on the victim; hfb's parents need to work on 'not being toxic people'; if they won't take that step, then.. The best thing to do is to remove them from your life, temporarily or permanently. From personal experience.. "Until you change on X" is a 'good' one because if they then ignore that boundary & harass you anyway then you know that they're unsalvagable- If they actually work on their issues that are causing your MH to get worse, then there may be a relationship there worth something, or at least a foundation of one. Without that.. You're always going to be breathing in this bile & repressing yourself to please them, and ultimately that's a game you can't win- You're never going to be that person, you have to be the person you are. T
  3. I take benzos when I'm feeling too wired to sleep. Usually when it gets too detrimental, I just take enough to help knock me out. T
  4. So long as you're out of their power sphere, that's the most important thing. It sounds like from the amount of times you've tried explaining, it's not that they don't understand so much as they don't want to understand. You know them better than I, but it is important, as notloki said, not to base your self-worth on their approval. Ultimately, if they won't accept you, then they don't deserve to have you in their lives. You owe them no deceptions nor silences on parts of you they won't accept. I guess the question is, how is it impacting your relationship with them, and more importantly, how is that impacting your life? T
  5. Going outside. Completely. It's working out pretty well for me, honestly. Tri
  6. I do. It doesn't mean that people don't find themselves in valid situations such as ours, or that we don't have needs too. "It's an illness it needs treatment!" leads to either: "..So if you can't get access to good/safe treatment, what now?" a blase nonchalance to people who are in that situation, or a view that anyone who cannot access such care (but is alive to still have needs) is inherently 'not sick enough'. As I think most CB users will find the latter two repellant, I don't think this is an unreasonable topic to start for gathering resources. Whis
  7. Prettymuch what it says on the tin. Everything I google gets "How to treat people who don't want to be treated" "Reasons why people don't seek mental health support", yadda yadda et nausea. Nothing actually, y'know, useful, or crediting people like us with an ounce of agency. Does anyone know of real resources, not either run by "I want you to see why you're wrong, it's for your own good!" creeps or "I want you to see why the Sky Brain needs your Soul Juice (and wallet)" creeps, or "Willowbark can help your mitochondria flourish at their natural levels of holistic energy" creeps. Actually useful resources/community for people who for whatever reason do not or cannot access MH care. Whisper
  8. There's a degree of "We've got to try this to be a Good Patient, it's going to be unhelpful, but let's get it over with" that I'm aware that we struggle not to let ruin things before they've started, so I'd say that there can be an element of self-sabotage in some people's approach to therapy. However, a healthy dose of skepticism about someone holding potentially a lot of power over your psyche & what frameworks their operating from is often mischaracterised as such. So.. Ultimately it's up to you whether you think that's the case. Maybe she's just the wrong psych for you? Tri
  9. So, for first attempt I'd ask the pdoc (done). If that fails, then tell the pdoc you're stopping it & stop taking it, if it's having these kind of effects. Ultimately, it's your body; If you find the side-effects more impactful than the positives, then it's your decision whether to continue with the med, not your pdocs. You're the one who's going to have to live with it. If they're dragging their heels, don't feel shackled to their opinion if it's damaging your body & mental wellbeing. It might even prompt them to actually think the situation through if you make it clear this is a Hard Limit, and not a 'Could you maybe possibly.. Oh, no. Okay', which a lot of pdocs seem to read any patient input as. I'd say you need to put your foot down & take back control of the situation. It is your body, and any boundaries you lay out as to what others may do to it are valid boundaries. Tri Edit: Whatever you do, do it safely. ^^; - Whis
  10. Huge amounts of stress & dread about housing & (quote-unquote) care that's tied into it. This is prettymuch a constant state of affairs, though it hit Whisper real bad yesterday. It's causing a lot of.. Bad symptoms. Tri
  11. I wish I could get back into martial arts, but physical disability stuff makes that impossible. I've kinda come to terms with that. Still messes us up sometimes. Tri
  12. I'm similar, and can relate a lot to this. Did she say the stuff about believing in it? Perhaps she meant that for you meds would provide a basis of improvement/stability that would make therapy easier. But I wasn't there, so this is just throwing around a vaguely-hopeful reading. Tri
  13. Ah. We never had any meds that've worked that weren't benzos or ADD meds, had years (literally) of abusive psychs as a teen, years of condescending twits as an adult, finally opened up to this lot in a total-crisis as a "No, really, you say you can help, I need help now, here are all the cards on the table" as an adult, got bit again hard; Everyone promptly covered it up. That probably says a whole lot? Whisper
  14. Given how many docs use Borderline as a dogwhistle "Hey guys, problem patient! This one's a real whiner/arguer, better watch out!" this is very unsurprising. In my situ, it's that I'm, well, leaving psych quote-unquote care after everyone decided to coverup for an abusive psych, and wondering if it's better or worse to have the symptoms on my general record, or to let it lie & not deal with sneering doctors (which you get quite enough of just having any MI on record, not to mention having an invisible physical disability; Using a wheelchair is fairly good for the "no fuck you this is serious" factor to the second, but even then you have docs who see that as a problem..). Anyway, yeah. We've had various hallucinations (auditory, noises, kids laughing/playing, buzzing flies following us, one time a voice speaking to us) and delusions (one religious-raptness, another more dangerous in that it was v. dark 'cosmic machinations' type 'truths' suddenly ripping their way into "core axiom" position in our head twice; if partner hadn't been around would've probably been a suicide situ). Tri
  15. I'm thinking mostly about our own fears of having it on our medical record, and having every 2nd doctor be dubious of anything we say if it were to become common knowledge, so I'm curious; How much has this sort of thing happened to you, from doctors or others, since they learnt that you had psychotic symptoms/episodes? Tri