deckpoop

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About deckpoop

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  1. Hello. I have been prescribed amisulpride 50mg in addition to an SSRI (fluoxetine) for depression. Going to give it a shot. Last year I tried zotepine and then abilify in small doses but both times they made me sleepy all day and after a week or so i felt like i had high blood pressure or something. Hoping the same wont happen with this stuff. Did anyone else have this medicine? Just wondering what to expect. thanks
  2. Here is the full footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5Ub2mfFuqQ It shows that the woman introduces the theme of mental health as well as Learning disabilities. I am no fan of this Conservative government on mental health or healthcare generall. And I am no fan of the prime minister. But I think the Guardian has been a bit misleading in their coverage of this incident, especially in the Opinion piece by Paul Birrel.
  3. Sexual violence by women against men is not uncommon. I saw some statistics on it the other day. Here are a couple of links I found: https://psmag.com/when-women-sexually-assault-men-507d163f79b1 http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2014.301946?journalCode=ajph&
  4. Hello cloudmonger. Sorry for the delay in replying. It sounds like you are in quite a different situation to me. I am single, coming up for 40 this year. I moved away to a different continent for work reasons. It didnt work out well for me psychologically. It was like every single thing i did was deemed to be wrong and offensive by definition. After 3 years i had a breakdown and went back to live with family. But without a job or independence i felt awful so i went back. After another 4 years i finally got a job back nearer home. And it has been a lot better for me here. It is still a foreign country with a different language but the mindset is different and less uncomfortable for me. Regarding relationships i have no idea because i have been in relationships for a total of about a week and a half. I am not sure if i could hang onto anyone. But i can certainly see your point.
  5. Hello cloudmonger. I found I could relate to some of your experiences. I dont seem to be able to think clearly to make a sensible response right now. I just wonder why you say it would be a failure to leave that place? Maybe somewhere else would be more suited to your way of life and that could be regarded as a success couldnt it? I say this because I went through similar kind of agonies a few years ago, altghough my situation was not exactly the same I admit.
  6. Hello Schizollenial. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Good luck with your new treatment.
  7. Hello. I just came to join chat but found it wasn´t there. I will miss it but totally understand the reasons given. Thanks to the moderators for their work and condolences for the sad loss of one of the team.
  8. Yes that sentence was a bit convoluted. More positively refers to how i interpret it not how they are being payed. What I was trying to say is that I interpret it more positively if they are being nice because they are payed than if they are trying to form some emotional bond. What I long for is someone uncritical and undemanding who wont make me feel like a villain. An emotionally superficial relationship where we can talk about abstract things feels more profound to me than an emotionally involved relationship where we talk about real things. Also, a relationship which could end at any time feels safer than one where I am locked into it. What feels unsafe is the possibility that I could be villainised or held in contempt at any moment.
  9. Thanks for your reply Melissa. I am glad that you feel you have a bond with some of your doctors. Probably I have a bond with my therapist. But even so I still believe it could disappear at any moment or doubt it is real. Generally I dont bond very well with people even if they perhaps feel they are bonding with me. I am doing psychodynamic so hopefully this is something that I can work on. Also, and this is something that suddenly occurred to me a year or two ago, I actually on an instinctive/subconscious level interpret the behaviour of someone who is being nice because they are being payed more positively than someone who is trying to bond with me. The former kind of behaviour is more like how i always wanted to be treated, whereas the latter seems kind of invasive and demanding.
  10. Thanks for this information folks. Some of these state department Q&A sessions are eye-opening.
  11. like a pariah who is officially to be blamed for everything bad in the world.
  12. It sometimes bothers me that the only people I really talk with are people who I am paying by the hour- my language teacher and my therapist. And whats more, I really prefer it that way. It feels safer, I am a great believer that you get what you pay for, although that sounds ridiculous in this context. This is clearly some kind of disordered thinking, I am just trying to explain. I often think that there is some kind of sexual tension between me and my therapist. Also with my teacher. I feel that this too is a necessary and good thing, otherwise how could they idealise me sufficiently to forgive my defects. Also I want them to mother me so there is an Oedipal thing there. But when I am not having these thoughts I still wonder if they secretly despise me and think I am a fool.
  13. There are some good articles about hypochondriac OCD or pure-O OCD out there which might help. Not saying that you have that disorder, just that some good info can be found about how to tolerate the doubts created by these obsessions. From my own personal perspective, I agree with the above post. Often my own obsessions, hypochondriac or otherwise, come about when there is some more genuine preocupation which i am blocking out. Regarding the doctor, I think the thing to do is to tell precisely as possible what are the symptoms, where the pain is etc.
  14. I tend to try harder to please people who are rejecting and take for granted people who are accepting. Also have the push/pull thing but it is mainly push (engulfment fears). A lot of people have had the experience of thinking they were getting quite friendly with me and then wondering why I am "ignoring" them. I dont have much sense of continuity of relationships. Sometimes I meet someone for the nth time and it is like meeting them for the first time all over again. The level of confidence I have with that person that they are going to be safe very easily gets reset to zero. Also I dont want people to know what I am thinking or doing. It feels invasive and triggers some painful feelings and shame. It seems that these things are a feature of problems of early attachment.