StarCrazy

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About StarCrazy

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    Member
  • Birthday April 5

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  • Gender
    male
  • Location
    England, UK
  1. For me its all how it sounds. (I play music in a couple of bands and am a bit of a nerd when it comes to music). For the price, they sound amazing.
  2. Definitely. When my parents have clear cut emotional issues that they cant deal with effectively, it completely destroys any good mood that I would otherwise have.
  3. Welcome to the world of audiophiles. Where there is no price too high for rich sounds. I too spend a lot of money on earphones. It helps me feel focused and awake and distracted when Im out and about. These are what I use and Id definitely buy them a second or third time
  4. Tyrant only you can judge if your drinking is a problem. But I'll give you my 2 cents regardless: My personal feelings on the matter (for myself) is that when its regularly more than two times per week, its a problem. If you are saying you are having 1 drink per week, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
  5. Lets stop acting like innocent minded kids: S+M or BDSM have always been popular! I dont want to go searching for it, but Im sure if you look up the history you'll find it goes back at least 100 years. I actually find it weirder when people have zero tolerance for pain. What have you been doing all your life that you never got hurt? In a non sexual context - I sometimes fine pain helpful to clear my mind as others say. Only pinches or prods though. I had a friend who believed in picking a pressure point and subtly manipulating it when you are under social pressure to trick your body into responding better. Hasn't really work for me but I do go back to it sometimes. Its tough to know when it turns into self harm. I used to punch myself a lot when I was depressed as a young child (under 10). I did it because I thought 'I deserve this'. But I was very unhappy and would not say this is normal or healthy behaviour. The best advantage was I grew up as a teen and adult never really ever feeling much pain whenever someone thought I was a good target for bullying/fighting. I don't like cutting. I think if you are cutting yourself its a problem. Even if you are doing it for the 'pleasure' and 'release' through feeling pain.
  6. I get like this too. Its hard to explain to people who don't have MH problems what it is. Essentially low energy and a desire to do nothing and be left alone. Not neccarily depressed about anything just a little low.
  7. I didnt speak to my doctor but reducing acidic foods from my diet solved the problem. Thanks for the concern.
  8. Sometimes you dont see eye to eye enough that it affects treatment. When you distrust your handler its time to request someone else.
  9. I've always had a 'clicky' body. From my ankles and knees, to my toes and wrists. In the last year though my thumb has started clicking whenever it is moved. It getting to a point where I just want it to stop. Changing my activities to try and help it but its all the time all week :'(
  10. Close friend of mine that i see regularly sometimes upsets me deeply from gloating/boasting over his sexlife. Short story is growing up we argued over the same girls a few times with him being the backstabber. So when he bigs up new romantic partners it brings me right back to where i was as a teen, only with even more envy over his life/family/relationships and achievements. I don't think Ive ever spoken out about it. I see it as myself bringing up old problems in a new light, some kind of unresolved feelings of blame/resentment.
  11. Thanks for the responses. It is a very weird situation. As I say, Ive been treated like this by my older sister for a long time. I'm soon to be 26, and I would guess that the roots of this problem started when I was around 6 years old and I got tired of biting my tongue and trying to get on with my older sister and instead being met by dry insults and mild callousness and instead decided to 'leave her to it'. I remember as a young child thinking 'I have two sisters. I dont need to get on perfectly with both of them' One thing that really bothered me: I spent many many hours playing with my younger brother when he was an infant to about an 8 year old. He was probably my best friend in some aspects. I could just forget about my problems for a while and play with lego and watch TV as 20 year something year old because he was so fun to be around. So much so that I was told by my psych team that it wasn't very healthy sibling relationship and that I should let my parents deal with him more. About 9 months ago - around the same time I made this thread it - was just before or just after myself and my brother got in a heated argument about space and respect. Hes 14 ish now and we were sharing the same living space. I was angry over how he leaves it in a very messy state and is consonantly shouting at people while gaming (we sat next to each other). When I asked him what his problem was and why he wouldnt do what I was asking, he went off on a long one about how I was never there for him growing up, and that I never did anything with him and it absolutely destroyed me knowing how much time and effort I put in to his youth and entertaining him with childish games, going to movies, buying him presents - but despite all that he had nothing but hard feelings and anger. I never had anyone like that when I was growing up. I completely lost my temper with him and shouted the most I have shouted in years. My own actions made me cry shortly after. I was so caught up in my own rage. Again the idea of feeling invisible came to mind. Come to think of it moments of anger and rage like this is probably a massive part of the problem from my younger siblings' perspective. Knowing that my parents only understand my mental health issues to some degree, my younger siblings almost definitely don't understand it. And they probably are very unable to separate my actions of genuine comments and my deluded psycho babble.... I recall a few years ago telling my younger sister that "schizophrenia doesn't mean multiple personalities" and she argued with me endlessly about how I was wrong (despite my diagnosis of psychosis/schizo affective disorder and years of support for it..) We've had a couple of instances where mental health professionals want to get my siblings involved in treatment and both times my older sister refused, and the general vibe from my parents is 'well thats fine'. Where actually, its fine for my parents perhaps, but its not fine for me. One instance was when I was first psychotic ten years ago, and the other was about 5 years ago. But other than that they only know whatever my parents have mentioned, which is limited in itself. (As a aside note - family therapy sucks. We had 3 sessions and it was stopped. When your family isn't really functioning, and theres massive issues of communication and all of a sudden you have people in your house asking you questions about your inner thoughts/feelings about other people: I felt like its an easy way to offend people with no repercussions. My Dad talked so much bullshit that he clearly didn't mean because he clearly didn't want to be there. My mum was the reverse and made it clear she was very unhappy with the house. I had no idea what I was meant to say, or what I wanted to say, nor and how to represent my feelings without offending. Meanwhile my 8 year old brother is making kiddy jokes and insults about family and we are sat there supposedly treating him as he was some gospel child who could only see truth.) Another term that I've only fully understood is 'the black sheep of the family'. It more or less implies a similar thing but with slightly less accuracy. But as a visual metaphor it makes sense... We are not so different, and yet I am treated like a different species. My main qualms aren't really living arrangements. Its really times like Christmas, Mothers Day, family birthdays that are the hardest. I end up in situations where I am surrounded by 3 people that clearly don't want anything to do with me and yet we are interacting with extended family normally, they interact with themselves normally, and I'm just kind of there. I do find some 'everyday days' difficult like when someone makes tea but they 'forget' to make me any. Or when I am tasked to ask a sibling down for dinner knowing that that's the most ill talk to them in the rest of the week. The worse part is that despite raising it with my parents neither one of them has ever really been able to comprehend the issue. When I am depressed/emotional the 'estranged sibling' nature is like a vulture that preys on any kind of will to live, calling me down a spiral of negative thought. When I had the arugmnet with my brother, Ive felt psychotic and suicidal and blurted out to my Mum that my siblings would prefer it if I were dead. My Mother said it's just because they find it easier to stand to one side of me and its easier for them.... A comment which I raged at. When I have 'fought for my place' in the family (as my Dad put it) and tried to open conversations up as much as possible I get a weird mixture of a response. My younger sister (and brother to some extent) may answer my question, but to the rest of the family as if my voice came from my Dad or my Mum. There's some kind of weird shame they feel for looking at me in the eye. And after a couple of questions I am not met with questions or answers from them, and further questions reap little answers. My older sister has almost always just given as little as possible answers. Single words, sometimes just gestures. My overall feeling is there is no way to 'win' in the situation. There is no magic password or ritual of actions that will suddenly make my siblings aware of what they do and how from my perspective I feel ganged up on and purposefully isolated. How they come across as incredibly malicious and hurtful given my mental health issues. Change has to come from them and I can only be myself. I try to be as un-spiteful as possible and to treat them with respect. It has to be their choice to start treating me like a person, and only then can anyone make amends. Long post!
  12. Yup. Its quite irrational but from my perspective people rarely ring about good news. Sometimes I just don't want to talk to people, I want to be left alone and do what I want without distractions.
  13. Great topic. My only 2 cents is that its never worth it to engage in debate with people on social media. If you are close friends, acquaintances, family; it doesn't matter. People like being in their own bubble online and I found even when people are posting on my own posts/statuses, they are completely oblivious to anyone's opinions but their own. I also think in real life a lot of it has to do with your style of debate. Some people think the best way to win an argument is to repeat what they think is right and how their opinion is far superior, and really push it. Make a scene about how the other person is ludicrous/stupid. You'll find the best debaters kind of nudge you towards a different opinion and make you think about it, rather than pushing their own opinion on you. There's the phrase 'you catch more flies with honey than vinegar' which I think is undoubtedly true.
  14. So a long time friend (nearly 15 years) of mine who is in a band with me (we usually meet up twice, or thrice a week) had a little spat that left me feeling so confused. Essentially 2 weeks ago I asked him to mix a finished piece of music for me as a favour. He had a go and got most of it right but with some more work needed. But two weeks pass and nothing happens so I send him one reminder that he ignores, and a second reminder that he responds with: "I'm quite busy at the moment but I'm sure I'll get it done" So I ask him 'try and get it done before the end of the month' and 'I'm sure you can do it as long as you remember to do it' And he responds that "you're being overly harsh." Now bare in mind in the past 7 years or so I've sent him tons of projects. Sometimes with specific goals, sometimes more open and free, sometimes that he asked for. And generally his response is almsot always that he likes what he hears. BUT he has never once sent anything back(!) because he isn't able to actually find the time do anything with it. And also bare in mind that I already told him I wanted it before April and half of that time is gone. So I say, "yeah I am being harsh, but I feel like its due given previous circumstances" To which he responds that "Well its not a very helpful way to be. Phrasing things considerately isn't much to ask" So then we go back and forth a bit until I say "Where did I upset you? I dont see what you're offended about" And the response is "Id prefer it if you'd have said : I'd appreciate it if you could get it back to me by April" So literally he is offended that I said 'Try and get it to me before April' and that I didn't say 'Can you try and get it to me before April?' Maybe I'm over reacting, but I feel like this was the stupidest waste of time so far this year. What do you think? Am I missing the point?
  15. Yes. If you've always lived at home your family/parents are probably used to scolding you from when you were young and not really thinking about what they are saying - just letting their immediate emotions do the talking. The best thing I ever did for my relationship with my parents was to move out for a couple of years. When I came back they understood boundaries much better, and I understood how much effort it is to keep a clean ship!