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About DopamineSick

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  1. I think ECT is basically next on our list of options, if I can get it approved by the county/ medicaid/ insurance. Right now, our last ditch attempt is the tricyclic Tofranil (Imipramine) and wellbutrin. I still need to give it more time to see if it works. Maybe I'll have to try an MAOI first too before getting approved for ECT. We'll see. Most people probably don't like the idea of getting ECT because of certain risks, but I'd jump at the chance to get it. I'm so tired of living this way that I'm willing to do anything. I've even tried ketamine and it didn't work. That was an expensive failed med trial. Overall, I just feel like I can't live and I can't die.
  2. I go through a cycle of trying a new med(s), I get my hopes up, the med fails, hopelessness, start another new med, rinse and repeat. I am relatively treatment-resistant so nothing has worked in years. I think I understand the OP's predicament. You know how they say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? For many of us, the problem is not temporary. I don't know where that statement came from but it definitely doesn't apply to chronic depression. I've spent years suffering and barely squeaking by and I don't know how much more I can take. It does kind of help to know that others are going through the same thing.
  3. I'm currently on 100 mg of imipramine (Tofranil) because nothing else has worked for me. The main side effect I'm getting right now is dizziness when I stand up, but it's tolerable. I can't tell if it's going to work yet. I'll probably need to get to 150-200 mg to find out. I have noticed a subtle difference over the past few days though. My doctor says he has other treatment-resistant patients who have done well on imipramine so I'm hoping I get the same benefits.
  4. At a loss.

    I've also been diagnosed with dysthymia with major depression/ double depression and generalized anxiety. I've only ever had one med work for me and that was a long time ago. I just can't live like this so I've been trying lots of different medications over the years. Nothing's worked. I've even tried ketamine, which has like a 70% success rate. Of course, I am in the 30% group of people who don't benefit from it. I'm currently trying imipramine which is a good idea because I had never tried a tricyclic. If this doesn't work, my doctor is recommending ECT. Have you considered ECT?
  5. I agree with a lot that's already been said here. Klonopin doesn't touch my depression directly, but it helps if things get out of control with my thought pattern. I have generalized anxiety disorder too, which tends to put my anxious, negative thoughts on overdrive and make me indirectly feel more depressed. It's times like that that benzos help.
  6. Stims: Experiences when you stop?

    Hey Blahblah, Adderall definitely acted like an antidepressant for me, but my tolerance eventually mitigated its effects and nobody would go above 60 mg/ day. I agree with you that it's a good "booster." In fact, the last time I wasn't depressed was when I was taking adderall (and when it was still working). I am treatment-resistant and desperate so I'm willing to try anything - anything is worth the risk when I constantly feel like dying. Therefore, I would love to try adderall again but two different doctors have already brushed me off. I've tried a lot of meds now and nothing has worked for me. Anxiety and depression have decimated my life. I'm currently on my third week of Tofranil/ imipramine (a tricyclic if you don't know), and am hoping that it helps. This is the first time I've tried a tricyclic, so I'm hopeful that it will work. If it doesn't work, it looks like I'll be off to ECT treatment. If I had my wish, I'd be taking adderall right now, even though I know it will eventually become less effective with tolerance. I'm sort of living one day at a time anyways, so I wouldn't be too concerned about tolerance right now. I'm just trying to get through each day. Anything that makes me feel better is welcomed. But, like I said, I can't get anybody to prescribe it for me. Good luck.
  7. Thanks. BTW, my doctor wouldn't go above 100 mg of Pristiq either. I tend to need higher dose levels of everything. Did you ever go above 100 mg?
  8. Stims: Experiences when you stop?

    That's exactly how I felt when coming off of adderall. I also had higher levels of anxiety and depression. It took me several weeks to adjust.
  9. I'm looking for feedback on imipramine. I started at 50 mg for two weeks and just got bumped to 100 mg yesterday. I am highly treatment-resistant and this is the first tricyclic I've ever tried. I'm hoping for the best, but if this doesn't work, my doctor wants me to get ECT.
  10. Hi, did you ever try the Tofranil? I was on 50 mg for two weeks and just went up to 100 mg yesterday. I'm curious about other people's experiences with it. I'm also highly treatment-resistant. I've tried many things and nothing has worked. This is my first time on a tricyclic.
  11. Benzo withdrawal

    You can't get a prescription for librium? That's what I used once to successfully get off benzos. It works well and you just taper down from it until you're good. You can also try ordering phenibut. It's a GABA-B agonist. The problem with phenibut though is that you can also get addicted to it. But it's nice to have around for emergencies.
  12. I was so desperate that I decided to give ketamine a try. My dad was willing to pay for it because I had been suffering for so long. To that point, I had tried basically everything except tricyclics and MAOI's. The only thing that had ever worked for me was Effexor, but it had stopped working. I did the requisite number of treatments (I can't remember now but I think it was 6 treatments) to find out if it would work for me or not and unfortunately, it didn't. I'm now starting on imipramine/ Tofranil (tricyclic) and hoping that it will work. If that doesn't work, I'll be going to the hospital for ECT. If ECT doesn't work, I will probably lose all hope. Treatment-resistant, severe, chronic depression (with anxiety, for me) is one of the worst scourges imaginable, in my opinion. If you have the money, ketamine is a promising treatment. The success rate is around 70%. But as you probably already know, you will need continuing maintenance treatments at unknown time intervals. I've seen some people who say they have to get a treatment every 6 weeks, which can be expensive. But if it works, it's worth the cost, IMO. Good luck.
  13. Starting Klonopin. What to expect? .5 mg

    Benzos have never really given me any side effects. I think that's the case for most people. It may cause you to feel a little sleepy, but that should go away after you get used to it. If you take half and don't notice any benefit, I would discuss trying to take a full pill with your doctor. Also, if you don't feel that klonopin is making much of a difference in your life, I'd consider not taking it on a daily basis. Benzos can cause physical dependence (even if you're not abusing them), so you just want to keep that in the back of your mind. If you find that the benefits are so great that you can't live without them (like, if they help you to function better and generally increase your quality of life), then don't worry about it. 1mg/ day generally shouldn't cause physical dependence, but it depends on the person.
  14. Hmm, I wish I had a good answer to your question, but I simply don't regarding the "polypharmacy" thing. Maybe if your doctor told them the reason for prescribing both, they'd be OK with it. At the very minimum, bringing one of these schedules in would be a good conversation starter. It would be nice if that site had a conversion "calculator" where you put in your daily dose of xanax and it gives you a plan using different benzos like librium as well as valium. How much xanax are you taking each day?
  15. I can relate. No matter what people say, I actually think isolation is better for me. I just end up feeling worse when I try to force myself to socialize. I'm just too depressed to even put on the happy face/ fake it.