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protectmepls

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About protectmepls

  • Rank
    I'm off my bean.
  • Birthday 04/27/1997

Profile Information

  • Gender
    male
  • Location
    London, United Kingdom
  • Interests
    Video games, film, fashion, technology, science, art, music

Recent Profile Visitors

1399 profile views
  1. Hey, was contemplating buying one of these light things on Amazon (just search Light Therapy and you'll see what I'm talking about) but looking for personal anecdotes. I'm very isolated, I hardly ever leave my bedroom. I hardly see daylight. Have no real-life social interactions and limit interaction with family (parents were abusers) (older sister makes me feel guilty) (not much in common with second oldest sister and she's hardly ever home and have been distancing from youngest)
  2. Mood Journal...?

    I have a journal but I always grow out of writing in it, because sometimes there's nothing to write about. This is the case for me because my life is uneventful at the moment. I've used apps before too, but the same happens. If I were to track every trigger, I'd have to spend a lot of time on that app... I have baseline low mood and then from there on my mood fluctuates from double low mood or energetic, motivated and so on. I guess they're helpful if you need to vent or if you like data. But after a while, you kind of know what upsets you and makes you feel better without journals and apps. Might be useful though to show your doctors or family/partner/friend?
  3. Trigger warning: An update

    I live in the UK so I asked if they could refer me to the system for a therapist one for eating disorder and another for other problems. They said they'll put in both referrals but said they don't know if I meet the criteria for an eating disorder therapist (which is confusing because I should). They said there is a long waiting period. There's nothing else they can really do. This whole thing put my diet and routine out of balance and I feel like I'm back where I started. I should stay away from the scale. Other then that, I'm trapped and drowning. Nothing else that can be done really. Medication options are slim to none. I'm so depressed it's hurting so bad. I can't even cry to communicate the pain or yell. I have no energy. I just feel suicidal and like harming myself, but what's the point? I can't even do that right and it will just set my diet and exercise routine out of balance. Hello, I am suffering. It hurts. I'm desperate for what? Nobody can fix this. A therapist isn't a magician. There's no fast fix. Just days of agony.
  4. Need insight

    I've taken over 120mg of Klonopin and an entire bottle of vodka and didn't die
  5. Two days ago I overdosed and nearly died, or as my mother says died and was revived, but she was hysterical so I don't know if it's true. I had an interview with a psychiatrist after, and they let me go home. I feel so depressed. I am in so much pain. It feels like someone is tying tight knots in my brain. I want to melt into my bed, into the darkness and disappear. I wish I died. I wish I didn't tell anyone that I took the overdose.
  6. Did anyone experience symptoms of IBS when taking Lamotrigine? It could be Lamotrigine Vegan products I don't know but I think it's the Lamotrigine
  7. Weeks of trouble falling asleep. Have been missing natural sunlight because winter and waking up at 4pm-5pm because I've been falling asleep at 4am-9am. Which antihistamine do you think would be better Doxylamine or Diphenhydramine or any other suggestions (except for Promethazine)? I have trouble falling and staying asleep. I'm combining the antihistamine with Trazadone for sleep.
  8. Have I been misdiagnosed? No therapist Rotating on the same medications I've been on, despite depression never lifting. The psychiatrist is continually saying "what do YOU think we should prescribe?" like I'm an expert. Has made no assessment of his own, just used old reports from old psychiatrists. As soon as I say a few sentences "BPD. It's BPD" no extensive assessment. No regard for my eating disorder. My brain FEELS LIKE ITS GOING TO ERUPT. SUICIDAL. SO SUICIDAL. NO INPATIENT NO INPATIENT suggestions. No money for therapist. NHS long waiting list. I am doomed.
  9. I'm fat and ugly right now and therefore I don't want to go outside and go outside itself will not cure those thoughts, reverse them or ease my depression. Especially when I am fat right now and ugly. And I will not embarrass myself. Thanks
  10. I can go outside, except I have no friends and fear judgement. I'd have a nervous/emotional breakdown and become extremely paranoid. I also wouldn't know what to do.
  11. I can't go outside until June (eating disorder) (recovering from the physical appearance changes from months of binge eating) so here I am stuck here.
  12. Does remission even exist? I mean I'm starting to think that, this is all I know and will know for the rest of my life.
  13. Getting a good therapist in London on the NHS relies heavily on your postcode. I can get a referral to any other branch. I'm in the Barnet area, does anyone know a good service on the NHS? I can't afford private therapy.
  14. Stigma

    I come from a background where they disagree with medications. In fact, my parents say my medicine will permanently screw with my brain. They never ask this, but paramedics and police officers have. Also, whenever I self-harm and they're called to the scene the first question they ask is "are you bipolar or schizophrenic?"
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