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About wookie

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    crazy tunt

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  1. What mood state were you in when this was added? Depressed or hypo? Or somewhat euthymic/dysthymic?
  2. Anxiety vs paranoia?

    Anxiety to me is based on paranoia and my brain's way of kicking into over drive when I think people are staring at me
  3. What is mania?

    From my lay person perspective- the opposite of depression- but you are severely heightened. In mania you might feel very powerful, and grandiose. Like you are very special and have magical power. However the heightened senses can lead to dangerous and risky behavior. People in a manic episode may experience severe agitation.
  4. This is good to know. I was reading up on Lyrica and heard it is being considered in the treatment of bipolar disorder though there is a vast array of medical opinions that differ on it's efficacy, and how it should be used. Zoloft is a good antidepressant but on it's own it is not good for bipolar. I definitely will consider other 1st line drugs for the treatment of bipolar II like Lamictal, or Latuda. I am aiming at Latuda because it can be stopped more easily if things aren't working out. Lamictal takes a long time to work. It's hard to say which drug in my current cocktail I might eventually drop. I know my period (aunt flow, or the communists that raid the fun house every 21 days) sort of sets me off into a mood swing.
  5. Hello, I am currently on two medications, Zoloft 100mg and Lyrica 300mg, and had sort of a weird bought of mood swings over the last two weeks that may have been just work related though I was feeling agitated one day, and flat and depressed the next few days. Now I am sort of about as normal as normal gets, for now. Different medications have been suggested to me for managing bipolar II and I am sort of hesitant to try something in addition to what I am already on because what if my medication trial goes side ways and it makes me worse? I know start up can be rough but I just don't know if things are bad enough now to start messing around. I was feeling anxious and scared about work (enough that I took a day off to reset myself) and wondered if I could benefit from different meds that are more in-line for treating bipolar disorder. I feel kind of stuck and wish I was starting from where I am on no meds to transitioning to 1st line treatment for bipolar. Any thoughts? Anyone start out on meds for MDD and anxiety transition well to meds for bipolar? Med changes are never fun in my experience.
  6. How are you now that you are on meds? What was it like for you being undermedicated? If I go the anti-psychotic route I might try something with a sedating profile. I tried abilify and found it terribly activating at a small dose. Scared of adding one more med to the cocktail but I am concerned I am getting a little destabilized. I got activated on 450mg of lithium. Missed one dose one night (after getting stuck somewhere downtown) and then a switch was flipped and I just about shredded my apartment in a rage. It was like my mood episode came on so fast just by missing a dose. Without meds I get ruminations, anxiety attacks, and major insomnia, high agitation, aggression. Depression, anxiety, bipolar II. I don't know anymore just whatever meds work these days
  7. It's worth a shot. I am trying to just do things to take my mind off of stuff.
  8. I tried buspar and experienced major agitation and began picking fights with people. I went up on zoloft and was a bit anxious and edgy, and never felt calm. I didn't sleep much either. My guess is a mood stabilizer like latuda; lamictal takes a long time to adjust too. I have been paranoid lately. I think my coworkers are out to get me. I literally snapped at my bf today over work.
  9. 100 mg zoloft and down to 250mg of Lyrica which was prescribed for anxiety. I was at 300 mg but there is a concern it is causing depression. What meds have you found that worked? I notice you have been given a label of BP 2 mixed states. That dx has been handed to me as well.
  10. I am honestly a bit depressed and scared. I am afraid the meds won't work
  11. I don't know if I should class this symptom; is it a facet of bipolar disorder, or just ingrained negative thinking patterns, or an enduring part of my personality? I am paranoid of people I work with. Sounds silly, and usually perfectly sane people have trust issues around people they work with because of backstabbing, gossip, office politics etc. etc. I guess what I found different is that it seemed to be because of my mood. A few days before my period I was hyped up and mildly agitated. I was training new people who were just lowering the bar of expectation for me. Basically they were insubordinate, seemed to not trust anything I told them, walked away several times in the middle of me training them, asked other coworkers the same questions they asked me (to which they gave them the same answer), and became very defensive when I told them to pay attention. They made some comment about how they studied psychology and understand people. I did not like training them because they were doing poorly, and not grasping anything, and then trying to blame me for their screw ups. Another trainee had this inability to shut-up, and listen. He got reamed out a few times by a couple of coworkers for major infractions. Instead of not doing said behavior repeatedly, he blamed someone for calling him out on it. The other screw up trainee started bashing on this coworker, calling them a snitch and a rat. The trainee had never even met this coworker. I was pissed. I decided to be a rat and told my supervisor. I spoke with the other coworker who was bashed on that if they wanted to call anyone a rat they can come to me. I was kind of feeling ramped up at this point, plus it was a day before my period. Not to mention I am on a diet and trying to cut back on coffee. My period hit and I calmed down a little; but then I got super agitated after the person I trained showed up at work after being told they were getting fired. I vented to my supervisor. And as expected they screwed up so royally, they are now under investigation by the client, at the very least. I started feeling down. I started thinking I was going to get fired for saying something and about the bullying and shit behavior. I kept my professional demeanor on but on the inside I felt like everything was my fault. I started thinking in a depressive way where everything was empty and I was just felt really down with paranoia. Some really minor non-eventful things happened and I felt like people were conspiring to fire me. A coworker who I barely knew didn't say hi to me, and then I thought they hated me and were trying to get me fired. By Wednesday I was at the doctors office and was advised to go down 50mg, from 300mg to 250mg of Lyrica. My other med is Zoloft 100mg. I am feeling better. I just rested as much as possible on Wednesday, and I was in a much better mood by Thursday. I am new to accepting my Bipolar II diagnosis. I was advised to add abilify to the mix but I had tried that drug before and reacted with extreme anxiety and agitation (akithesia). After a brief psychiatric assessment with a really good doctor I was also advised to try Latuda, or Lamotrigine to my cocktail. I am not sure of either and I am worried I'll be activated, or something will just go wrong in my adjustment to the new meds that will put me out of work, and just render me useless. My other worry is my bipolar II diagnosis might be off, but I think it might be accurate. To remedy the situation I asked my doctor to sign me up with the psychiatrist as my regular pdoc. He is very good but I might have to wait another year or so. They also put me on a waitlist for a med assessment at the local mental hospital to help in the interim. I do feel I have some good coping skills in place that are in tune when things are changing for me. I have a pretty decent support network too. I just don't know what to make of my thinking patterns and negativity. It seems so ingrained I am not sure if it is just me or bipolar disorder. Edit: Considering new meds. Not sure where to go in terms of what to add/ remove. Will keep lamotrigine and latuda in mind. Depakote was mentioned as well. Is abilify calming at higher doses? I took a low dose once and found myself feeling so anxious on it. Absolutely could not sleep.
  12. New Member

    Welcome and good luck
  13. I also took the time to read your posts and have gone through the same thoughts myself; what the fuck is wrong with me? I think I had some abuse issues in my past which definitely contributed. I use therapy as a sounding board and it sort of helps. I had a good psychologist (a student in training- so not expensive) who I clicked well with and who didn't try to be my best friend and maintained a professional and helpful relationship. I was able to talk about abuse issues with her and I worked on some issues as well. I have had a therapist who had poor emotional boundaries and tried to act like my best friend and it was not good. I just refused to go back to them; there was something off about this person and I am not sure what it was and I don't think I need to worry about it so much either. I have been through the diagnostic mill; this is my diagnosis in historical order- sort of- bipolar II mixed episodes, dysthymia, GAD, PTSD, then Social phobia, no bipolar II & adhd, back to some flavour of MDD, social phobia, some form of Bipolar, then Bipolar II, then depression and social anxiety, then depression, then back to bipolar II. I have settled on bipolar II for the time being. I have self harmed in my youth; I did not get on well with my peers at all in my youth. I did not find therapy helpful at first and my first experience of it was traumatic and not really helpful at first. And I still feel about only half-way there in terms of being in good mental health.
  14. Hello

    Hello and welcome to the forums!