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About tyrantblade

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  1. No i didnt, i was thinking it because the people were already very uncomfortable and didnt want us near them; and it was so dark i dont know if they saw his piercings. The first time we were just passing by them, and then i stayed back when my younger brother went closer and they had repeated that they didnt want to be bothered. I was really freaking out because you never know what people are going to make up if they really felt uncomfortable enough to call the cops. And personally i hate cops, there are too many bad ones out there that are complete jerks, even if you didnt do anything wrong; if they give you a speeding ticket they will add extra MPH to make it stick, and they twist your words around to try and make you sound like a bad guy.
  2. So its been a crazy 3 days (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday) with lots of drinking, far from the usual for me, but i wanted to be supportive to a really cool coworker, who invites me and my younger brother over to drink sometimes. Thursday was sort of his Bachelor party (nothing crazy; more symbolic than anything else) Friday (Yesterday) was a more relaxed social gathering. Saturday (today) was the actual wedding and we started to party afterwards, but we went to this new high end restaurant to check it out. Well thats where we made a big mistake, me, my younger brother, and 1 other guy each had 1 drink, we were chilling and then my younger brother had to go #1 and the bathroom was occupied, so he tried to go off the deck; well we stopped him and then he went inside and i followed him and then we were both kicked out. And then to make matters worse they still said we had to leave when we were in the parking lot talking to a friend that we met there (the guy that got married earlier today) who was on the other side of the fence and wasnt complaining about us. Then my younger brother tried talking to these people in the parking lot and they were very uncomfortable and said they were sorry but somebody they knew died recently and they wanted us to back off. So we both backed off and my younger brother went closer to them and tried to talk to them. And i was thinking to myself how stupid he was being and i seriously thought we were gonna get arrested because those people didnt know us and were scared (i doubt they even noticed my younger brothers' piercings or tattoos as it was very late; but i know that makes some people feel uncomfortable in itself). Then i was saying to my younger brother how i was so close to choking him out just so he would leave those people alone if he didn't back off. And now we are back home and i know 2 parts of 1 seriously important lesson. 1. Dont try to go #1 in a public place like that (i knew that anyways and thats why we all stopped my younger brother) even way though it was way past when it gets dark. 2. You dont know whats gonna make somebody uncomfortable; possibly enough so to call the cops.
  3. Well im soo drunk again due to hanging out with the same person again, but hes one of my few cool coworkers and it wont keep happening like this since he is getting married tomorrow and is gonna go into the navy. I really do mean to start doing better and will tdy to keep doing better.
  4. I havent had a Pdoc for a while, but ive almost completely stopped drinking; last night was an exception because it was a party with a coworker thats getting married. I know i might have foolish thoughts while drinking, but even when i havent drank alcohol in a while i sometimes get so mad at my coworkers; which is why im planning on getting a new job next year (only then because im gonna get a flex card to use for dental implants which are expensive). I probably wont drink for at least a few months since i did last night and i really dont buy alcohol anymore except maybe once every 3 months if that.
  5. Idk, but i really dont see drinking as a problem, besides the cost which i really only feel is an issue sometimes, because of the costs really. Otherwise, yes im diagnosed as Bipolar-NOS, but i manage pretty well, even though sometimes i really feel like losing control on people that make me mad because i feel like the government in the USA has everything messed up and like even being locked up in a mental hospital wouldnt be as bad as having to deal with life normally. I mean i normally drink like a pint of 70-80 proof on any given (once a week if that) night no problem. If i feel stressed enough i can drink a liter no problem. I mean im trying to deal with life as best as possible, but sometimes its hard.
  6. I know what you mean, sometimes my stress builds up to where i feel like i wanna cut so badly for a few days, but i dont act on it, i stay busy and sleep if i feel tired and it eventually passes.
  7. There are no guaranteed promotions as theres only a few better jobs there and i would have to take on extra responsibility, stay there another 10 years, and maybe get a worthwhile promotion. No thank you, took much risk and drama, not worth the stress and time to maybe get a worthwhile job 10 years later.
  8. Ive been working at the same factory for most of 5 years now, i can usually tolerate it well, and its nice when theres overtime, but otherwise the pay sucks. Im making about 10.30 hourly, i should be making over 12 hourly, which would help a lot, but this company is very cheap and i have got no raise at all this year. Im planning on finding a different job next year after i get a new flex card and use up the balance because i will need the money from it. I just dont know what and i hate this job so much i will probably find any full time job out there and take that so i dont have so many coworkers who bitch about everything and ruin everything good. Any advice? I know ive already had this job too long and its not worth the stress and sometimes it makes me drink a lot so i dont have to feel bad because i wont have to think about it. But i have been drinking way less this year as a part of trying to be healthier and hopefully start losing weight.
  9. Where I work way too many people complain about too many things, it's more about the drama than the actual work and these people ruin it for everybody; but they rule this place. Now apparently whistling will be a fire-able offense, because some people have to talk instead of working and apparently it interrupts their conversation. One of these days next year I'm gonna find another job, it would be much sooner; but I plan on getting a flex card and using that before I go to another job (then I won't have to actually pay most of the money for it; which otherwise comes out week by week).
  10. Maybe some day I will sell my soul at a 2nd job for some extra money, but right now I already get too exhausted working the extra 10 hours every Friday (but it's helping me slowly catch up). I'd like to some day be able to have a life and spare money to buy nice things (right now I don't spend anything on anything unless it's food or bills)
  11. I've lost control in small ways 3 or 4 times, but I personally don't regret anything as long as the punishment isn't drastic.
  12. For me it seems life works in cycles, sometimes I have a little spare money; but I foolishly spend it. Then I hit a bad spell where nothing goes right and I have to sell things I really wanted to keep. Naturally I'm in a bad spell right now, I worked very hard to get some extra money, buy a nice new TV (but an old model at a great discount), a ps4 pro (for better graphics and smoother playing) and a couple new games. Well, now I'm paying for it all because this time my younger brother lost his job (so $400 less per month to go tiwards household bills) and I got behind on my credit card, now after working a lot of overtime and selling stuff i didn't want to sell (plus a little dealing in used video games) I will be caught up in a month, maybe less. But I know I won't be able to buy anything I want for a long time; I'm just hoping my luck turns around a bit because I'm gonna need to pay for 2 Dental Implants (expensive), part will be with flex cards, part with cash. How do you guys deal with life when it crushes your hopes and dreams like this?
  13. You aren't necessarily wrong, life isn't always easy, but it can be very enjoyable when you get past those tough times.
  14. Thankfully not much because I rarely wear shorts and so my scars and almost always covered. The only comment I got was that they "look like stretch marks" which my mom said because she apparently forgot that I used to cut or something.
  15. I very rarely get the thoughts anymore; mostly I try to joke around and not take things seriously, but life is full of bad situations; so I always end up down low again like a roller coaster. The import thing is to keep fighting it and focus on the positive.