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About Lorelion

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    Banana Brained

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  1. I'll definitely talk to the doctor next time I see him. Thanks nervousbat! Haha.
  2. I've been really down the past couple of days thinking about all of the times when I've gotten angry and been mean to someone. I feel like that means I'm not a nice person, and that I don't have the right to stand up for anything that I believe in.
  3. I'm going to bring it up, but ataxia is one of the side effects and I just get really uncoordinated and start dropping everything.
  4. I currently take Lamictal and Seroquel (200mg each), and I'm noticing more and more that I'm experiencing a lot of the side effects from both of them. It sucks 😕. The weird thing is that it's not a constant thing -- like I'll be fine, but then I have a couple of days where the side effects are really intense ... My hands pretty much won't work right, my concentration is so bad that people have to repeat things multiple times before I know what they're saying, blah, blah, blah. I'm just curious -- has anyone else experienced side effects in an intermittent pattern like that?
  5. Most of he time, I honestly feel pretty hopeless about the whole relationship thing. I'm hoping that, as I learn to manage bipolar better, relationships will be attainable. My relationships in the past were basically all manic flings and scandals, so my track record is pretty horrible thus far. For now, I've decided to not even consider dating because I have school and a lot of things to straighten out with myself. As an aside (because I was so irritated by this), the first person I dated after I knew about my MI also had one. He was super nervous to tell me about his severe anxiety and was really relieved when I wasn't at all bothered by it ... but then I told him I had BP 1, and he was totally freaked out 😠. That incident certainly doesn't help with my hopefulness.
  6. Don't feel ashamed! It can be hard to not feel that way, but be kind to yourself. You're young, too, so you have plenty of time. I'm 27 and didn't get ANY kind of treatment until the beginning of last year, so believe me I've made a mess of my life thus far until like a few weeks ago. I've slowly been making huge steps and getting better. There's hope for sure. Just keep going and fighting.
  7. Oh, the things us bipolar folk do. Lol. I'm glad you haven't been arrested as well!
  8. I identify with this one so much, aura. I can't even tell you how many times I've gone off at cops and other authorities because I don't like injustice and they were abusing their power. How I haven't been arrested is a mystery to me.
  9. - This one time I almost got married and was going to move to Alabama ... luckily my fear of commitment kicked in when his parents said, "welcome to the family." The ring is really pretty though. - I've been to Hawaii, Mexico, the Bahamas, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter despite the fact that I make $11/hr and work part-time. - Oh, and I have a brand new car. - I changed majors and colleges 6 times. I finally landed on the one that I'm genuinely passionate about and going to see through to the end: Nursing. However, past majors included (in order): dance, international studies, archaeology, special education, and astrophysics. - Many sexual indiscretions and scandals. I wore a shirt that had 'all the rumors are true' written across it, Easy-A style. - For a long time in high school I believed that I was some kind of reincarnated ancient super-spirit or something like that. I would suddenly start channeling my ancient soul and speak its language. I was pretty quirky and funny, so my friends thought I was joking and that it was hilarious. - There were many times when I would go, like, 24 hours without sleep because sleep is for squares. - I almost opened a bookstore. Had it all planned out, the name, how I wanted it decorated, everything. I know absolutely nothing about business. - Helicopter pilot. I was determined to become a helicopter pilot and work for Green Peace and stuff like that. - My non-profit that I was going to start that would provide every kind of service you could think of for free with no government funding, so that Republicans would have nothing to complain about. Honestly though, I still would really like if that became a thing. - I was convinced that I was meant to lead some kind of great revolution and change the world. - The time I flipped shit and took off the the beach ... at 110 mph ... with a backpack full of books that I was going to read all in one day ... forgot where I was going halfway there ... was convinced I had been on the road for 2 hours and it had only been 15 mins ... stopped on the side of the highway in MD, called Mom, and had a total mental breakdown ... convinced Mom not to call the state troopers ... went to the beach and happily swam in the ocean and then read a book. The beach is 3 hours away. I was originally going to go to FL (6 states south), but decided against it. Two months later, after I was finally stable, I realized I had forgotten to renew my registration and have my car inspected and done all of this while they had been expired ... for several months. - I went through this phase where I would just start changing in front of people. Nakedness is next to Godliness, what can I say. - I literally thought that I was Jesus. Not even kidding. Somehow I was able to know that it was likely not a good idea to tell anybody that ... - One of my favorite moments -- the time I woke my roommate up in the middle of the night because I was pissed off about racism and bigotry and how people need to stop teaching their children to hate and people need to start being kind to each other and stop acting like jackasses. It was literally the middle of the night. I went on for at least and hour, possibly more. - So many more things.
  10. Thank you all 😊. Hopefully, 2017 will be better for everyone!! Happy New Year!
  11. After a year of crazy mood swings and three hospitalizations, I've finally stabilized. It's awesome.
  12. I'm doing everything I should to get better, but I only feel worse. I've made a lot of progress with the things that I needed to get out of my life. I'm not making the same mistakes I always do, but I feel dead. I want to feel like lightning.
  13. Exercising definitely helps to keep my mood stable. I'm a runner and a dancer. When I start skipping doing those things, I have pretty dramatic mood shifts. Diet helps a lot, too. I've been having a hard time with that anymore, but when I eat right (particularly a lot of fruits and veggies) I feel a lot better. Since I started my Seroquel I haven't gained any weight, and I think it's only because I'm super active. The only problem with not gaining weight is that doctors are constantly questioning me about eating disorders 😑
  14. I'm so angry, and I don't even know why. I'm all sorts of anxious and agitated -- I keep thinking I'm seeing things, and I'm super jumpy. The anger is really making me nervous because I'm feeling ballsy enough to go off at someone. I'm not sure if I'm headed in to manic swing or not, and I'm kind of wondering if it has anything to do with the increase in my Seroquel. Something's just not right.