strange eyes

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Everything posted by strange eyes

  1. hey Oliver, I hope you can begin to embrace "everyone else's reality." I know it might not feel like it right now, but I consider you quite fortunate that meds helped your psychotic symptoms disappear. I have been on a million different antipsychotics and none of them stopped my voices. ..which kinda brings me to my next question. does hearing voices damage the brain in any way? I've read somewhere that psychotic episodes have a negative impact on the brain but what exactly constitutes a psychotic episode? a psychotic break from reality or just hearing voices?
  2. my mom literally said to me today, "you should start taking tumeric and lemon in water. read up on it, it's just like prozac!" i sarcastically replied, "yeah i'll just stop taking my meds and drink tumeric water." she said, "well not right away, you should see how it works first." REALLY ?? like i guess those NAMI classes she took and loves to wave around in my face whenever she talks about how much she knows about my illness really taught her something .... sorry. just hilariously frustrating.
  3. think this might've served better as a blog post. anyway, nothing to see here
  4. @melissaw72 just updated my sig. i stopped taking promethazine abt a month ago because it was giving me intrusive thoughts before bed. anyway, the headaches have actually subsided over the past three days. so that was good. idk why they were so consistent for two weeks, but i'm glad they're gone.
  5. has anyone had headaches from Prozac? I have had a headache every day for the last two weeks. I've been on Prozac abt two months now and it's the only change I've had in my med regiment. I really really hope something can be done if these headaches are from Prozac because this med has been doing wonders for me otherwise!! my mood is stable and great most of the time. I wonder if this side effect might go away with time? anyone else experience this?
  6. i was originally diagnosed w major depression but as my disorder began to 'evolve' into voices, paranoia, and delusions, i was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. i then had a major episode of mania coupled with psychotic symptoms which eventually led to my diagnosis of SZA
  7. hey iiawal, sorry you're going through all of this. I had delusions where I was being spied on all of the time. I thought there were cameras in my light bulbs, that every sentence I wrote on the computer was being recorded and reported to my parents. after being put on antipsychotics, these delusions stopped. I would hate for them to ever come back because it is extremely anxiety inducing. hope you can find some relief soon. I can't imagine going through years of that.
  8. ah I see. that makes sense melli. I definitely understand being up later which leads to more time inside your head. did you get a med adjustment? asking bc you said it could take up to six weeks for you to improve I hope you improve sooner rather than later! for me, lately anyway, I have been just hanging out in my room and listening to music. I get some sort of beverage to drink like tea, coffee or a carbonated water and just let the music take me out of my head. I also like to read and play guitar. and smoke cigarettes lol. I smoke sooo many cigarettes. ideally i would be making paintings but my recent med adjustment has been making that difficult for me. i think I actually look forward to the weekend because my brother is off work and it gives us a chance to hang out occasionally. but other than that, the weekend is usually pretty much the same as the weekdays. music, guitar, reading, smoking, oh, also meditation! if it's something you are able to do, it is literally the best thing to get you out of your head. anyway, I really hope things start to look up for you melli.
  9. btw yeah I understand how things would be closed on holidays. but the things I can think of like restaurants, libraries, museums, coffee shops, grocery stores, thrift stores, malls etc etc are open during the weekend when it's not a holiday
  10. what kind of things? like doc offices? or school maybe? sorry I hope I'm not being annoying. I don't really go out too much during the week or weekend. what do you like to do during the week Melli?
  11. do yinz work during the week? I don't usually find weekends any different than weekdays but I also don't work. however totally feel all that's been said about holidays. I can't stand being around a large group of people for an extended time. gets my anxiety and voices going and then I just have to leave.
  12. thanks melli! I slept for abt nine hours last night and my voices aren't nearly as bad today
  13. anyone here get tattooed regularly? I got a cpl new ones yesterday. however I had been hearing incessant voices before my appt. while I was getting tattooed I heard voices the entire time. that, coupled w physical pain, was a terrible experience. I've never heard voices like that while getting tattooed before. might've been bc I barely got sleep the night before and that just made my voices worse. anyway uploaded a pic of the tattoos I got done bc I am still really stoked on them lol.
  14. woke up christmas morning to news that my guitar teacher i've known since i was 13 years old suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. my mood has been excessively dark ever since. really hope i feel better soon.
  15. yeeeesh that sounds super frustrating Melissa. your mom can't reschedule a dentist appointment for this?
  16. hi everyone. been meditating at least once daily for twenty-thirty min for abt two years now. do you guys also do carrying meditation? i.e. bringing meditation into your daily life? i find this is where it gets a little difficult for me.
  17. sometimes i talk back to the voices, but never out loud. i also know the voices aren't real but i engage them just to see what they have to say. sometimes the voices talk to each other and it's like i'm the observer in a conversation between two people in my head.
  18. ugh i think these people think they have some sort of insight into psychosis because they tripped. like .. sorry but inducing hallucinations that only last for the duration of your trip is not the same thing as developing schizophrenia.
  19. you're in my thoughts @heilmania hope you get some good news soon.
  20. I didn't mention about what the nurse had told me but I really should have. I'm going to talk to my tdoc abt it bc I see her soon. I'll bring it up w my pdoc as well when I see her next. you're right that the nurse could be treating other patients this way and I think it is important for my pdoc to know as well.
  21. hey @melissaw72 i just talked to my pdoc on the phone. she said in addition to the Prozac, the antipsychotic I'm on works as a mood stabilizer. I guess that makes more sense to me now and I'm not as worried about becoming manic. also she assured me that her main goal is to keep me out of the hospital and have no further admissions. so that was relieving to hear as well. I guess the nurse really was not relaying the doctors opinion. in any case I feel a lot better.
  22. ^^can't thank u enough for talking me thru this @melissaw72. i've been very stressed and anxious that i may be sent to the psych ward soon. i've even been hearing voices of my doc/nurse conversing to each other about sending me there. i'm beginning to think the nurse may be full of hot air, but i guess i won't know for sure until i talk to pdoc. definitely calling tomorrow.
  23. thanks for the response melissaw. i'm really not sure what my pdoc is thinking. this is the second time the nurse has suggested my doc might want me IP. a few months back the nurse basically relayed to me that my pdoc suggests i go IP if my pacing doesn't stop for an entire new med regiment. i've never actually heard straight from my pdoc that she wants me IP. i don't see my doc for like, two more months, but i'm going to call tomorrow and see if i can speak directly to her or at least get scheduled in before two months. i don't think i should have to go IP just to get on different meds. does that sound right?
  24. ^glad you had a good time melissaw. my pdoc recently took me off lamictal because at 150mg i started having suicidal visualizations. this happened last time it was upped to 150mg. she replaced the lamictal with prozac, which is very confusing to me because when she diagnosed me with schizoaffective bipolar type, she explicitly told me i should never be on an antidepressant by itself. antidepressants have never really worked for me. i usually end up hypomanic. this med adjustment was all relayed through the psych nurse so i haven't been able to talk to my pdoc about it, but when i talked to the nurse and told her my concerns of being on an antidepressant she said "it's very hard to treat you not being inpatient, so we are treating you based on how your symptoms are presenting currently." i honestly feel like they want me to end up in the hospital and this is the way they're going to force me into there. i don't know. maybe i'm being paranoid.
  25. sending good vibes to everyone who's posted in this thread recently. hope things turn around for you all. had pdoc appt today. she basically said there's nothing she can do for my pacing at this point. she hopes it will go away on its own. i'm so frustrated. things get better for a couple weeks then my meds get changed and i'm fucked again. it's exhausting. i just want to be stable again.