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  1. @Juniper29 That is interesting. I've heard that brief postpartum psychosis can be quite common (even for people with no diagnosed disorder). Perhaps some people are just wired to have this stress-reaction (delusions/psychosis) without necessarily having the chronic disorder? Did they medicate you with antipsychotics at that time? How has the Prozac been working for your postpartum depression? Were you allowed to stay on any meds during your pregnancy? I've heard that can trigger stuff too, when you have to go off your meds for that.
  2. What (if i may ask) are some of the "flickers" you had? What were you paranoid about? I find it all very fascinating...Mine was a "brief psychotic disorder" lasted less than a month, and was triggered by acute stress/PTSD combined with Zoloft. I had insomnia, severe restlessness, anxiety and paranoid feelings that people could "tell" that I was losing my mind. I felt wired (in a bad, exhausting way). I was afraid my emotional state was obvious to everyone (that i was out of it, or on drugs) then severe social anxiety, feeling "panicked" in public, like everyone was watching me at work, thinking there was something wrong with me, I would be fired, people were monitoring me (kind of like the paranoia one can experience with too much pot). I thought there might be cameras hidden in my house, and there could be carbon monoxide leaking somewhere. After I was hospitalized, my delusions became medical-related (with panic) like I had some terminal illness. I asked the staff to give me all these blood tests, brain MRI's (due to possible brain edema) I didn't understand what was happening to me (first time I was ever in a hospital)...I was afraid to take any meds because I would be completely gone with brain damage and be institutionalized forever. At the peak I became extremely confused, distraught mood and a bit hysterical. Are these common schizo-type symptoms, or more of psychosis that comes with mania/mixed episode in Bipolar?? I did not have any hallucinations.
  3. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Sick and run down. Antibiotics + cold medicine and I feel like laying in bed all weekend. Frustrating because i have stuff to do!
  4. I am not diagnosed as such (yet I've experienced med-induced psychosis before), I am curious to know when (what age) and how (situation/trigger) did you develop symptoms or know you had a full- schizophrenia, schizoaffective or psychotic disorder? What were your first (or main symptoms)? I am really curious to know more about how these disorders start, and the timeframe until they are officially diagnosed? I am also wondering (my very first doc wanted to initially DX me as schizoaffective), has anyone been diagnosed after only having 1 episode of psychosis, delusion, or paranoia? There is sort of a gray area, because I know of some bipolar people that had 1-2 manic episodes (with psychosis) yet they are not diagnosed with schizo-affective. How often are you symptomatic and have meds been a near "cure" for you? Anyways, thanks for any clarification.
  5. Thanks @thunderThis is what I thought. Laws always favor the employer to an extreme in the US. Do all companies (large and small) make you sign the "At Will employment" waiver before you start working? I guess this is standard now. I just hate how hypocritical companies are with that HR line everywhere "we do not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, veteran status, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or any other basis of discrimination prohibited by law. We happily welcome DIVERSE applicants!" yada yada yada...BS. Then they ask you like twice (once on written application form) and then in the interview if you have any disability, illness (like anyone would ever want to raise THAT red flag!) I know some orgs have hiring quotas (state/gov) that track number of women/men employees, and ethnicity for diversity/equal opportunity, but are they are fined if they fail?? I guess they consider any form of disability a major liability/$$$...that plus most of the Trumpets in the US believe that "all shootings happen because of the mentally ill. People with mental illness should all be locked up & institutionalized.." but lets go and cut mental health funding and facilities even more. Don't even get me started on that one. Surprised no one has posted about that here yet!
  6. @BrianOCD So it sounds like when you raise the dose, you get side effects - but do those side effects always go away after 1-2 weeks? Have you ever tried Cymbalta? It's also an SNRI - but of course it will hit in different ways than Effexor, it may be better for depression though, YMMV. And Cymbalta has a much longer half-life, so the withdrawals aren't as pronounced. Maybe Effexor has just hit its "expiration date" in your case? I hear that alot here. it's quiet frightening how people can be on a med for 5 years or so and it works really well, then all of the sudden you have to keep increasing and it doesn't do much. Then after a break, you try it again, and it does nothing! It sucks. Like mikl_pls said above, maybe you could consider another SSRI like Zoloft, Prozac or Celexa even, that hits more Serotonin? Trintellex is new - I tried that recently (personally it did absolutely nothing for my dysthymia) but no side effects (for me), so worth trying!!
  7. I've experienced the EXACT same thing when I've gone through extreme periods of anxiety, distress and depression! It was scary to me, I felt very "unhinged" and "ungrounded" hard to describe...but yes, it's like your entire identity collapses when you are in the thick of dealing with these illnesses. The hospitalizations, therapy appointments, group therapy, psychiatry appointments, meds...it was all too intense, too much for me. my mind was overwhelmed with emotions, absorbed with myself psychologically, feeling misunderstood, etc. These types of experiences and episodes become your identity for awhile, you begin to wonder if you will ever feel like your "old self" again...and you cannot predict when you will stabilize and pull yourself back into normality again. You are not able to work...(at the time, even though I lived alone in my own apartment/worked full-time for over 10 years straight, i had to stay with my parents during that time of recovery because i could not even keep track of my bills, getting to appointments, etc.) I couldn't talk to any friends about it (none of my real life friends have been in a psych hospital). I felt isolated, confused, fragmented, decapitated, if you will. It's no wonder you start to feel completely like some sort of lab rat and not a human being.
  8. @BrianOCD Man...Didn't it work for you for YEARS? Has it completely pooped out? Do you feel like it's doing anything - like which symptoms are you having most issues with (depression/anxiety or OCD?)
  9. Yeah, I'm aware this is very common with SSRIs..many of them are known to cause various degrees of "emotional blunting," emotional numbness, apathy, low motivation, lethargy, brain fog. This is all great if your symptoms you are treating are: extreme crying spells, sadness, panic or whatever. But the other side, if you aren't at that level of depression/anxiety, I think they can numb you out too much. I wonder if this is the action of Serotonin in particular that causes this? At any rate, I will stay on Effexor for now, and maybe try to go higher in dosage. I thought SNRIs had more action on Norepinephrine or Dopamine eventually... I see you are on Prozac - does it not have the same effect?
  10. Interesting topic! You describe this very well. While I don't have OCD, I can totally relate to the pressure of perfection and to being "just as good" if not better, than your peers. I often feel the same: It's not enough for me to just BE. I don't know how old you are, but I read an article about this somewhere about how millennials in particular, are developing OCD, anxiety and depression disorders at higher rates due to societal expectations, competition, as far as excelling in high school to get into the best university, then to land the best job, and then have all of these added talents & hobbies to impress colleagues and find a partner. (have you heard of all the students that take performance enhancing drugs?)...because today, it's not ENOUGH just to be yourself, you must be Exceptional..Does this resonate? You have set a high bar of expectations. I believe (like with everything) there is a border between having a "healthy work ethic" and being productive, versus being too driven to the point of becoming obsessive and compulsive in your behaviors. It indeed sounds like your OCD is controlling your behavior, you are not in the driver seat of your life, choosing what you want to do or having a balance of productivity, hobbies and relaxation/leisure time. I'm not sure what the answer is...but know that this feeling is common!
  11. I’ve been on Effexor the last 3-4 months, I haven’t felt anxious at all, or depressed. Seems great right? I increased a week ago (to 150mg), and since, It’s increasingly difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I sleep really well, I don’t feel tired. I just feel soooo comfortable, relaxed, calm, cozy and content that I just lay in bed for an extra 3 hours. My mind empty. The last few days, I’ve been completely shirking off/avoiding all responsibilities: called in sick to work twice, skipped my courses, just to lay around in my pjs and do nothing! WTF? I No desire to socialize, haven't showered the last 2 days...It reminds me when I was on Celexa - I became so lazy/apathetic/disinterested that I had to discontinue. Is there such a thing as “too much serotonin?” Maybe I should just wait things out, until I get used to it? I feel like I need to increase my stimulant & drink extra coffee just to light a fire under my @ss.
  12. Oh yeah that too..sexual side effects (pretty much all meds have this for me), an almost drowsy feeling and sweating at first. The sweating has sort of gone away now though.
  13. @browri Does Vyvanse work consistently, even without taking breaks? Luckily, I don't feel miserable/depressed without it, but I do feel useless, lazy and tired.
  14. This happened to me during my very first episode and resulted in hospitalization, it my case I believe it was med induced (but also exacerbated by previous trauma). I always had depression, but my anxiety got out of control after being put on Zoloft. I stopped eating and sleeping, and the derealization started. I became very mixed, confused, exhausted, stressed, dissociated, then psychotic. My case is more extreme than yours, but I was put on A/Ps and eventually came out of it. If you are Bipolar and dealing with alot of stress/anxiety, be careful in taking antidepressants. But on the other hand, for me at least, Benzos do worsen my depression if I use them regularly.
  15. @notloki True. But isn't it illegal (IF) you disclose that you have a medical condition/disability (needing reasonable accommodation for appointments or treatment, etc) and then your employer fires you, basically because of that reason? In my case, no, I did not disclose that info upfront...however, I was "let go" after they had agreed to accommodate me with a part-time schedule. I could see certain scenarios could be grounds for wrongful termination, no? I was also afraid that I wouldn't qualify for unemployment insurance, and also lose my health insurance (not being able to afford COBRA) however, my employer agreed that I could list "layoff due to budgetary issues" so receiving unemployment wasn't an issue. I guess it's just a shady area to me what a person's rights are if they disclose they need medical accommodation and then they are immediately fired (wrongfully terminated) and then cannot receive unemployment compensation...