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About Blahblah

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  1. I would see a professional therapist/pdoc, but sounds like PTSD to me. Any kind of event that was traumatic for you could possibly lead to PTSD. In fact, many people have PTSD from childhood, without even remembering the exact moment it started. The Body remembers....and your "emotional body" outside the rational thinking brain, trauma can be buried within and when triggered suddenly it can cause intense outbursts (random flashback type thoughts/images and crying spells, breakdowns) i think it can be very difficult to work through. I wish you luck in getting help through this. I think trying to find the right therapist you trust and medication are a good place to start.
  2. Has anyone here come to realize the moments when you are projecting in a relationship? By Projection, I mean the behavior where you do not accept your own thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings as your own. These "unwanted" feelings or thoughts are dealt with by being projected / placed outside of yourself or attributed to someone else... I've noticed (as a chronically depressed, anxious, highly-sensitive person) that I have a habit of often projecting, and misinterpreting other's behavior as critical, unloving, uncaring, angry and disapproving...when in fact, these are the constant ruminations that I have about MYSELF. This is simply how my brain operates in the world. I'm VERY critical of myself (I often see myself as unlovable, unworthy, lazy, too emotional, disorganized, I never do anything right)... Ex: Someone communicates a neutral statement to me, but I over analyze and read into it emotionally, and start feeling and questioning that the person is angry with me or disapproves of me. Anyone experience this? How do you de-program your automatic projections?
  3. CHanging therapists

    It's always awkward I agree. If you've only "tried him out" a few times, you may not need to make a big deal, sometimes I'm just vague and say....well I really need to check my calendar, quite busy next 2 weeks....Can I email you about scheduling? And then send an email saying I've decided to take a break with therapy or I'm having financial problems...or the commute is too far.... There have been times where I told the person I wanted to try a therapist that uses different expertise or methods (CBT, DBT or whatever). Or I dunno, if you feel really bold, you can say I'm not feeling any improvement or I feel worse when I leave the session....
  4. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Not too bad. Productive busy day and feel like I'm sort of on top of things...well, somewhat.
  5. Manic

    Using a week or 2 of 20mg Prozac after weaning off is helpful. Cymbalta & Effexor have very short half life, and Prozac keeps a more even keel of the serotonin in your system (so you don't have the intense drop-off). You might want to consider if you start getting those brain zaps... Go down slowly, the worst is when you get to the lowest dose but all depends on how long you've been on the med.
  6. I know that feeling...but is it true physical exhaustion (like you just want to sleep all the time) or is it more of a mental exhaustion - you just can't deal anymore? I have times where I've slept great all night, but just can't get out of bed....not because I want to sleep more, it's like I just feel lethargic and just stare off into space...without actually sleeping. Or in the afternoon the only thing that sounds remotely satisfying is just laying in bed....
  7. @mellifluousI got to this thread late, but I am relieved to hear that you are OK and safe. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience here! People WILL come here and read people's threads...you never know when someone will turn here in a time of desperation and realize that others have been in the exact same Hell...fighting and surviving it every.damn.day. You are strong and you got this.
  8. What or who is your spirit animal?

    Hmmmm part Rabbit, part Eeyore perhaps...or a cat perpetually napping in the sun.
  9. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Pretty sh**tty. Dried the tears, calling it a night and hopefully can sleep this mood off.
  10. Cats are the best anyway and you aren't a worthless loser...you are their world!
  11. sorry - true @jt07 if someone had called her "psychotic" then a professional diagnosis could be made by a pdoc. But exactly, what is "crazy" anyway, such a broad label. The traffic outside was crazy today.
  12. Who is this confident? Just ignore him, people are idiots. Leave the "crazy" or "insanity" labeling up to a professional psychiatrist.
  13. I bought a Benadryl GEL at Target. It's great. Goes on like Aloe Vera. I have itchy sensitive skin too and I don't like taking more drugs for it that might make me drowsy.
  14. Friends and isolation

    I hear you. I have a terrible time making new friends. Especially now being 35+ with no kids. I can be outgoing, make plenty of new acquaintances...but I really don't want just another random contact I'll see IRL twice. Maybe I'm weird or have too-high expectations. I really dislike surface-level friendships with people that end up not being there when you're not feeling your "best self". People today are so flakey, non-committal and often not worth the effort. Often I find users - people that befriend you because they WANT something - like a job contact or someone to gossip to...or a wing-person.. Or you finally become pals with someone, then they suddenly ghost after getting a new BF and you don't hear a word from them.... Can you take a course in something (art, fitness, film studies)? A meditation group (that often attracts kinder people) .Try volunteering if you can find a cause that you are into (ex: i have friends that work with the SPCA with animals) Apart from Meetup.com there are alot of FB groups that meet in person (there might be a support-type group on there with meetups or activities like concerts or art shows?) Meetup.com can be discouraging and draining sometimes, so many people to filter. You have the same redundant (so what do you do, where are you from) conversations. It's not always for the faint-hearted. When i was in depressive moods, I could barely force myself to go, then because of my sad/anxious/emotional state, I didn't connect with anyone. It all felt too superficial and not "safe" enough to REALLY be myself or have any meaningful connection. It's work to keep up the social mask. So I recommend being in a stable/positive mental state before joining up with alot of Meetup groups. Also it's better to try an activity like Hiking (not just a social meetup at a bar where you just stand around drinking and talking about nothing...)
  15. i think there's something to be said for holding on to that last sliver of humor...even if it's a grumpy cynical humor, you must also have a place/space where you can express yourself or vent- negative emotions and all. I find writing things i'm worried or pissed about when I'm angry really helps. It channels your energy and (for me at least) keeps me from doing something impulsive, stupid or yelling at someone. Sometimes just posting here and having someone relate can take the edge off. I also recommend DBT. It gives you specific tools and practices that help regulate intense emotions. If not a group, then buy the workbook by Marsha L.