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Catwoman

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About Catwoman

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    The Netherlands
  1. Hi Mik, thanks for explaining! I knew a little bit about the working mechanism of SSRI's. My first experience with Luvox was positive. After 6 weeks I noticed a decrease in intrusive thoughts and with 9 weeks I seemed to be in remission. I was a textbook example, though I had few side effects to begin with. On high dosages I had RLS but that was about it. Over two years I stopped taking Luvox twice. The last time I restarted it didn't seem to work very well and I switched to Lexapro. I thought this was an incredible medication, because after just 2/3 weeks I noticed the effect. It took me longer to stabilize though, but after two years I felt really really good and the intrusive thought didn't bother me anymore. My life was normal ;-) About two years ago I had a major relapse and increased Lexapro from 5 mg to 15 mg over a few weeks. It a horrible experience: crying spells, very emotional, mood swings, nightmares, ruminating and no concentration. (Very much like the first few days on clomipramine) I decided to go off Lexapro, which was a difficult process and took me a few months. After being off meds for four months I wasn't seeing any improvements and I couldn't function, so my gdoc let me go on Zoloft/sertraline. I tried various doses, even went up to 250 mg, but it just wasn't doing the same as Luvox and Lexapro. Last year I wanted to try Luvox again. The result wasn't amazing, but by the end of December 2017 I did feel like I was improving. I think Luvox was working for me, but I still felt insecure and thought I could get better results from something else. My pdoc wants to follow guidelines so clomipramine was the first thing she wants me to try. I asked her about other options and augmentation treatments, but she wants to take it slow and be as careful as possible. The reason why I'm worried about clomi not working is because SSRI's used to work for me, but stopped working. I know Anafranil is tried after two/three failed SSRI attempts, but SSRI's didn't really fail me in the first 8 years. Sertraline was a letdown and Luvox wasn't as great as with the first try. It's really getting to me actually..... I took some additional OTC supplements, but run out of all of them. Magnesium, high doses of NAC, bacopa, ashwaghanda...all good quality. I didn't notice a big difference. My pdoc thinks augmenting with Seroquel can be an option later on. With @browri I talked about Abilify and Rexulti as well as other anti-psychotics. I can't exactly remember how these act towards unwanted thoughts (Dopamine agonists, antagonists....confusing!!) What I would really like is to end this annoying thought process. I have a massive aversion towards this obsession (or intrusive thought) and I haven't succeeded in turning it around, despite all the therapy and mindfulness.
  2. Hey Mik, thanks for replying! Today physical side effects are less than yesterday. I noticed low blood pressure and urinating takes longer. On this dose no dry mouth yet and no increase in appetite. I'm dreading the weight gain, if that's ever going to happen, but I think I could do more exercise once the intrusive thoughts are going away. I think clomipramine is really 'attacking' me on emotional and psychological levels, including the OCD thoughts worsening. I'll keep on trying for at least six weeks. I've read so much positive stuff about this medication....My worst fear is that it won't do anything because of being on SSRI's for 10 years. Luvox seemed to work for me in the last 6 months, so that's positive, but on the other hand I'm scared about things like downregulation, loss of receptors, physiological adaptation and increased metabolic degradation. I wish I knew what was going on. Maybe it's a bit obsessive of me, but it's hard to handle the uncertainty.
  3. I came across an article about massed exposure and imaginal exposure stories. It's particularly effective for people with obsessions without (visible) compulsions. I tried finding more information about it, but what I could find where examples with HOCD and POCD. You have to read the stories out loud daily or you can tape scripts with your own voice and play them until they don't scare you anymore. Is there anyone here with experience with massed imaginal exposure? I want to write a script for myself, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I know I could try finding a specialized therapist, but I want to start right now instead of being put on a waiting list.
  4. I'm having the EKG next week. I'm not that worried, but it is annoying to have that restless feeling in my chest. I'm not sure if I want to continue....I'm having awfull crying spells, mood swings and the intrusive thougt is back full force....
  5. Thanks! Today the third pill, so why not going up to 50 mg upcoming monday? If I can tolerate side effects that is....and the pdoc wants me to go and have an EKG because I'm having heart palpitations. I had these before so I'm not worried, but apparently clomipramine increases risk on heart failure?
  6. Thanks!! I'll try to go up to 75 mg. My pdoc said I could stay on 25 mg for the next 12 days, but if I can handle side effects I can titrate faster. My intrusive thoughts are much worse since I took the first pill. I'm a little shaky and my legs are feeling stiff. This could be from the Luvox since I've gone down from 50 mg to 25 mg. But maybe it's stress and side effects from Anafranil as well. I don't know, but I'm not happy.... I just hope it will help me.
  7. For anyone who's interested in this thread: I started with 25 mg of clomipramine yesterday evening. I also took 25 mg of fluvoxamine (going to cross taper, my pdoc wants to follow guidelines and not combine these two). I woke at at 4:00 in the morning, was having heart palpitations and couldn't fall asleep again. Felt really restless and at 6:00 even wide awake! I think I can say that fluvoxamine (Luvox) was doing something for me between 50 and 100 mg. Since clomipramine is essentially an SNRI with around 80% SERT occupancy (even at doses between 10 and 25 mg) I really really hope that this will be the last med change I have to make. I'm getting incredibly desperate after 14 years of the same intrusive thought. It only got better with the first try Luvox (2 years) and the 6 years on Lexapro. So maybe it is possible with clomi as well....
  8. Haven't started yet, but I'm almost sure that I will in the second week of June. My pdoc isn't that familiar with the Luvox-Anafranil combo and I think she wants me to stop Luvox entirely once I'm stable. I've come accross an interesting article which isn't completely positive about the combination. It's Dutch but mayble Google Chrome/Translate can help out: https://www.dejongepsychiater.nl/onderzoek/842-fluvoxamine-clomipramine-ocd-depressie
  9. Yes, have to agree with Jt07 that the newer meds (SSRI's for OCD I mean) have proven quite effective. With less side effects. Clomipramine is scaring the **** out of me actually. I really wish escitalopram / Lexapro still worked. Essentially, clomipramine is a SNRI. In the last two years I've been on three SSRI's and none of them did the trick anymore. Luxox and Lexapro were amazing for me when I first took them. My pdoc is still recommending Anafranil but I can't see how it could work. It will just do the same as SSRI's (concerning serotonin) but with more side effects probably.
  10. No didn't start yet. I'm still on a 100 mg of Luvox. I'm doing a little better with less intrusive thoughts so I keep postponing the switch to clomi. On sertraline I did have some sexual side effects (no libido and trouble with orgasms). On both high and low doses. Over the period of decreasing Luvox my libido decreased as well, but when I was on it in the early days I wasn't having any problems at all. Now that I'm back on 100 mg I have to admit that my sex drive did return.
  11. I'm starting it in a few weeks. I've read those articles on Psychotropical too. I've been reading up on reviews from Dutch people (I'm Dutch so that makes sense ;-))who took it or who are taking it. Clomipramine really gets mixed opinions. I don't know what to make of it, so I decided to try. In the past I've been happy with Luvox (fluvoxamine) and Lexapro (escitalopram), but both SSRI's stopped working. Currently decreasing Luvox so I can start clomipramine. I hope it will be the answer to the recurring intrusive thought I have. In the past Luvox and Lexapro were miracles for me. According to my pdoc, going on clomipramine is the next step....
  12. What are your obsessions?

    Lately I'm having trouble with some other 'sticky' stuff, like the name from a friend will float around constantly. I don't like it, so I worry that why it won't go. Someone compared it to sensorimotor OCD. I pay too much attention to an unwanted concept or word. I had this too with breathing, but it only lasted a few days and it wasn't extreme. It sometimes feels like a hyperfocus or perseverance like in autism. I'm not autistic though.
  13. You seem to have treatment-resistent form of OCD :-( I know Risperdal is common as an augmentation strategy (as well as other anti-psychotics). I'm scared to go on one; weight gain is one of my main concerns, but at least it's a little bit reassuring that you didn't gain any weight on it! Was there anything medication or therapy wise that did treat the symptoms of OCD?
  14. I had trouble too and after trying different brands I decided to go for one of the cheaper brands. I also took Krill oil capsules, which were expensive (ouch) but I didn't feel different. Maybe the 'good' brands (which ones...I don't know) work better on the 'inside' without me noticing it. Did you take yours with food? I notice almost all supplements make me nauseous if I take them on an empty stomach.
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