Bimbo Bear

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About Bimbo Bear

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  • Birthday April 14

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    Sandwiches made with organic sand

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  1. When your medications stop working, is that because your brain has gotten healthier and no longer needs the medicine dosage you're on to keep functioning? Or is it just because your body gets used to it? I'm asking because I'm praying my brain gets healthy again someday. I want the part of my brain that makes me happy to re-grow and come back. I want any damage done by my bipolar to heal. I just want to be normal a little bit, even if I must be on some kind of meds forever.
  2. I don't think I took my meds with enough calories last night, cuz all of today I felt like I was partially floating in and out of my body at about the speed of my pulse rate. It was weeeeeird.
  3. Gross. After some deep analysis of myself, I think I can safely say that this is an extended mixed episode with anxiety being an unfortunate symptom. That's fabulous. I just hope this doesn't mean I have to cancel what I'm currently on and try another med. I'd hate to go through withdrawals after coming so far with this medication I'm on.
  4. I'm currently taking 40 mg and my body temp is normal. 20 wasn't exactly enough for me, but the entire time I've been on it, it's worked wonders for me. I take it for BP II and it's relaxed a lot of my symptoms. I took 20 mg for a month or two before going up to 40 mg, but that's because that's how long it took for me to realize that I needed a higher dose.
  5. Recently I've been on an important search to find myself a religious place to call home. Ever since leaving my first religion and living as an agnostic for a few years, I now realize how much I need religion in my life, personally. So I've set out on a search, but there's a big problem with all of this. I've noticed this inexplicable rush to get the answers that I need. I have a thousand questions on my mind, I keep bouncing back and forth on what it is that I believe, and I feel like I need to know where I belong RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY SECOND!!! It's not just with this either. When I'm in class, I have trouble focusing on what's being said, the end of class can't come soon enough, and even though it's easier for me to read (now that I'm on Latuda) I sometimes have trouble motivating myself to settle down and read, simply because doing that would mean I would have to s l o w d o w n. I hate having to slow down. I feel like molasses when I do. Even though I know I ought to, I just hate slowing down to do things like meditate, because it makes the minutes go by so much slower. I am no longer pacing like I used to and my enthusiasm for life isn't as high as it would be if I were hypomanic. But this kind of activity I've been experiencing seems a little too fast and stressful and not okay. So please be honest, do you think these are signs of anxiety or possibly my bipolar acting up? P.S. It could just be from my medication, but I've noticed that I've been more bitchy and moody with others for awhile now too (it's been months). It's getting harder to fake a smile and I notice my thoughts have been becoming more and more condescending (which is not good for someone in a "happy" workplace).
  6. Yep, I'm BP2
  7. I did, but not with this current Antipsych that I'm on. I got off of it because it was ineffective (plus I had just gotten diagnosed with bipolar), and I think she'd want to try it again because I still have the pills at home. Also, I was using it beneath the lowest dose, so I think that might have been a problem.
  8. Thank you, everyone, for your responses. I'm going to see my pdoc pretty soon and I have a feeling she'll try putting me on an SSRI again to help me with my anhedonia. Just curious, would an SSRI help? She's gonna try Viibryd with me again, if that makes any difference.
  9. So I recently upped my dosage of Latuda (with my pdoc's permission) because my depression was still lingering. I suppose it's still too early to tell, but I think it's making me feel a little bit better... though I'm not sure. My biggest issue was dealing with my anhedonia. For those who don't know, that's when you can't feel any pleasure from things that used to bring you joy before. With this recent dose increase, the anhedonia is retreating into the shadows, but I'm still not sure if it's gone yet. To be honest, I can't even remember what a life without this boredom would be like. I've been struggling with it for about 2 years now. I'm currently trying to find enjoyable things to occupy myself, but so far nothing except reading is working. There's nothing wrong with reading, I guess. I'm just confused because so many other things used to be fun for me before. I remember I used to like reading, writing, creating art, and shopping online for books to read. Now I'm only interested in reading, and the rest of the time I just want to lay down and rest. It feels relaxing, but I know it's not good for me to be that way all the time. To anyone else who has struggled with this, how did you overcome it? Was it just brain chemicals? Did you have to re-explore your interests all over again? How in heaven's name could a person get over this is all that I'm wondering, because it's really a drag to not be able to do anything except read for fun anymore. Even going on tumblr has lost its entertainment value, and I used to be addicted to going on there and posting on aesthetic blogs that I run.
  10. I'd apply pressure to the cuts to help it stop. Not a doctor or anything, but that's what I do whenever I start bleeding.
  11. I'm seeing my pdoc tomorrow and I need to tell her how my meds still aren't strong enough. I ended up cutting again... thing is, I never told my pdoc that I've ever cut in the first place. Will I get in trouble if I tell? I'm over 18 and living in the USA, by the way.
  12. I'm not saying I'm going to do it, but I'm curious about if anyone else has tried to do this before when they felt their medication really wasn't working. How did that go over? Did you eventually tell your pdoc? This question is open to anyone taking meds, not just anti-psych meds.
  13. I counted up my disorders again and, honestly, I feel like a hypochondriac who is self diagnosing (although professionals have all backed me up). I'm high functioning these days, thanks to my meds, but I still have lots of issues and, I'm curious, do any of you have multiple diagnoses too? I'd list mine, but I'm worried I'd get shunned as being an attention seeker.
  14. When I'm paranoid, I can usually just remind myself that these are just thoughts and I am okay... however, I am currently on an Antipsychotic, so that is lessening the impact. Before starting on that, I would be much more paranoid and clearly believe that everyone was out to get me. I flimsily tried telling myself that these were just thoughts, but I didn't believe in my own words, rendering my attempts at awareness useless. Then I'd start isolating myself from everyone and things just got bad.
  15. I'm not sure what you're asking exactly, but when I get irritable, I can be either depressed or hypomanic.