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About BrianOCD

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  • Birthday 10/25/82

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    Computer, weights, boxing, Video Gaming, MMOs, girls =)
  1. I honestly would rather feel the apathy than the depression, but ya I know what you mean. Although apathy and depression often coexist anyways. I think if you stay on specific cocktail for long enough your emotions return. Effexor really numbs me in the beginning but after a few months my emotions seem to return. (maybe not full force) Ativan is quite numbing after being on for a bit, I think all the benzos have that effect...That's why I try to steer clear unless I'm having anxiety/panic attacks.
  2. What do you mean early on? I recently went up to 225mg bout 2 weeks ago and am starting to finally cool out a bit. I'd say if you could handle the side effects then going up is good for the depression, it's just the anxiety gets a bit haywire until you're adjusted...
  3. Well I was on 300mg for years. I wasn't getting much of a response under 225...I'm thinking about even going higher as I'm starting to feel good finally. I managed to lessen some of those side effects by taking the Effexor with some food. I'm glad to hear you're feeling pretty good...if you decide you need more of a kick, the higher dosage seems to do that, but be ready for those jitters.
  4. I think maybe it's the noradrenaline since I'm on the higher dosage...Not sure, but it happens after I take the pill for a few hours...Uncomfortable. The further I get away from the pill, the better I feel. I woke up today and felt great until I took the pill. But ya that's how I feel, dry throat, high heart rate, lil wired...
  5. When you went up on Effexor, did you have any days with the agitated feeling in your gut? I think it's agitation... That feeling like you're about to cry but dont actually cry, happens when you go up on virtually all SSRIs....I have a hard time placing the feeling...it's like a burning feeling in your gut that hangs around...If you take a deep relaxing breath it goes away for a few seconds...could be roped in with anxiety too I suppose but the feeling is different. Does anyone know what the official name for this is? Is it the "jitters" everyone decribes?
  6. I may have to go much higher, but it's having the effect of calming my thoughts/worry/ruminations...That alone helps a lot in rebuffering my serotonin and other chemicals depleted... I've gotten a lot of nausea, some insomnia, and ya the dry mouth is brutal. I've been on every dosage of Effexor up to 300mg...I hope it works for you...I also found it to be much more effective for both depression/anxiety at 225+ so you got a lot of room. =)
  7. I came across an interesting article, anti-drug psychiatrist was discussing why the drugs are bad. I personally think the meds are helpful. Although he did bring up one point that got me thinking and worried. Do our brains and our emotions always have the capability to autoregulate? I mean will it always know how to reach homeostasis? I wonder this after over a decade of SSRIs and other psych drugs.... What are your thoughts on this guys?
  8. Hey how are you doing? Wondering where you're at now? I'm in space cadet mode myself, 6 days from 150mg to 225mg... Did the spaciness go away or are you still struggling? Is Effexor working for you yet?
  9. Well I'd say it sounds like a phobia. Exposure therapy is really the only way to get around these. In which you would little by little just expose yourself to the dripping water until you're no longer scared of it...(easier said than done) Hard to tell why you'd have that fear, but there's so many phobias out there it's understandable. Maybe something traumatic happened with Dripping water in the background when you were younger?
  10. What are you afraid of?

    Interesting so many don't like Driving, it's one of the only things that seems to relax me...I suppose it is dangerous but compared to my health anxiety it's a distraction.
  11. If you're feeling good then hooray! I just want to offer a warning to you though, I've gone through this too. I'm not bipolar, but I went down off Effexor and felt better for a year or so. Felt like I didn't need the stuff...Then slowly but surely my anxiety and neuroticism crept in. At first I had trouble eating, then trouble sleeping, and so on...Then I finally had a panic attack, and suicidal thoughts. Just be careful how fast you go down off of meds, and look out for warning signs. That will be my last time off meds ever, I can't go through another depression like that. I will take some form of chemical to the day I die.
  12. I'm actually surprised so many people say it doesn't help them with their mood. It almost always makes me feel better, more content. Perhaps the anti-anxiety effect for me?
  13. You say you're not depressed, but then list off a bunch of depression symptoms. I've been in a state of anhedonia before, and I've come out of it with anti-depressants/anti-psychotics. It's not hopeless, keep digging.
  14. How can this even be possible?

    oh I see, I didn't know the light box could have such a strong effect
  15. I understand OCD issues like this pretty well. The only way to beat things like this is a superior distraction. Is there anything in your life that takes your attention away from your nails momentarily or for hours?