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Dry Erase

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  1. I signed up here awhile back, but (surprise) chickened out and never posted. So, uh, hello. Social phobia is part of getting newly diagnosed for me, and I guess I'm still trying to sort it out. I've been "like this" for a long time, and I didn't have a perspective on it. I was unaware of any issue for so long partly because I've never experienced any actual panic or overt fear response in public situations. I'm just off the charts avoidant, lol. And when I have to interact, I shut off, in a way. Still talk and function, but I'm really shut down emotionally and mentally, and I have poor memory of it (like going grocery shopping, I have to look over the receipts when I get home so I can remember whether I stuck to my list or not, but I have to relax first, otherwise I'll end up looking at the receipts several times because I just blank things). I can kinda remember, or put things together if someone describes something I was present for, but my unaided recall is pretty crappy. My therapist thought this might be mild dissociation when I described it in session this week. I guess I just didn't realize that I was even doing anything "unusual" for lack of a better word. I was hoping people here might also do this same thing, and maybe have some tips on how they've learned to identify when it's going on, or just have more self-awareness in general. Because if that shutting off is dissociating or maladaptive in some way, then I do it a lot. I feel kind of at sea.