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hopelessromantic

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About hopelessromantic

  • Rank
    Tripolar....Manic, Depressed, and Irritable

Profile Information

  • Location
    North Carolina, USA
  • Interests
    music of Delta Goodrem, writing songs, following College Football

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  1. What does your anxiety attack look like?

    Heart beating to where I thought people in the room could see it through my shirt. I was trying to do the breathing to get it to slow down (another hope that no one is staring at me). I did not know my heart could pound like that in just a matter of moments when the meeting turned into a "let's go around the room and share ideas". GULP
  2. These replies are full of great advice. There is an upcoming Saturday when my SO is volunteering and it will take up most of the morning and afternoon. I decided to use that time to do something she said she would love to do with me, but I know she would get bored in 20 min. So I am taking a road trip for that day! That way I can experience it, not be rushed or made to feel bad that she is bored, and when we get back home that night we will have stories to share. WIN WIN!
  3. How did you spend your Easter holiday

    Hoping everyone had more fun than stress. I just walked across the street to my neighbors. I made peanut butter eggs (not too hard but very addictive) and as usual let her family do most of the talking since I'm rather introverted. Nice to have someone open up their home and table.
  4. Why does no-one love me? Oh yeah, I'm an arsehole.

    Do you want friendships or a relationship? Sometimes your answer might be "neither one". What about group support, possibly one for MI but another one more socially based, perhaps a church group that goes out for coffee. Anyway, you have to think long and hard and choose wisely. Many of us have our "friends" online. I am one of them. I am socially awkward. Ask yourself what you really want . . . . .start small if you need to. Who knows, you might meet a friend and it turns into a relationship.
  5. I get more mean and irritable - the day before I am downright nasty
  6. Driving on the freeway. Gulp

    Maybe having the radio on a calm station? I use Spa on XM satellite to keep me calm. Let the other cars pass you, and stay in the lane closest to the exit you need. If you keep your eyes focused ahead, it is somewhat less taxing on the nerves than looking in the rearview and seeing all the tailgaters and zippy lane-switchers. Good luck to you, the traffic struggle is real.
  7. Feeling distant from God

    I felt closer to God and more interested in church when I was manic. I was filled with love and joy and all the things that church and a relationship with God is supposed to make you feel. Back then everything was elevated, especially senses. Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I could not get there in a genuine way. I still pray and talk with God but "the shine" is off, I guess is one way to put it. Once this depression and irritability lessens I hope to go back to church and have a better outlook.
  8. I think I hate most of the human race

    I have so little in common with most people that I don't try anymore. We are getting new neighbors but I am wondering about going down the street and introducing myself as I don't believe it's going to turn out to be anything other than - - - - - just that. A neighbor.
  9. Billy Graham

    My coworker mentioned to me "did you see all the people lining up along the roads to see Billy Graham's procession? They didn't even know him - I just don't understand". I told her that, in this world, in this day and time we are living in, having Billy Graham pass away in some way might represent the last bit of humanity left in this world is now gone. I tried to think of who we as a nation would elevate into that position - I could only come up with Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen. Not even close. That part was even sadder. We really don't have anyone else to look up to in that regard. Sad.
  10. My mom died.

    I am sorry to read of your Mom's passing, Saoirse. I had 48 hours to come to grips with my Mom not able to make it. Wasn't ready for that at age 25. That was over 20 years ago. The pain lessens. But please, do take the time to grieve, and on your own timetable. It is important to tune out others who mean well but may not know what is best for you. Thinking of you.
  11. Please help me someone

    Are you open to trying a similar med? Do you think that is what the doctor has in mind going forward?
  12. I have such a mixed bag, paired with my childhood, nothing would surprise me. I always ask myself "what if I hadn't dissociated" or "what if I did grow out of the infatuations", what would I be like today? What if I did not have BP2? It does circle around the brain. Sometimes I wonder if I had the key to the exact answers, would I really want them, or be able to live out the rest of my life actually knowing everything. Knowing why, and how.
  13. I have wondered about how my manic episodes have affected me, especially with the hypersexuality, b/c I was extremely infatuated with girls growing up but I fooled around with boys. It always seemed to be whenever I had a particularly heavy crush on whatever girl, there would be some boy in the picture.
  14. Accidental School Shooting

    I think it was the end of January in L.A. Sometimes I get so desensitized with this shit that I don't remember specifics. It's happening too much. But to injure 4 persons, how did the gun going off accidentally injure 4 people?
  15. One of my worst anxieties is driving. My family and SO know this. However, when we all go out, and I am the sober one (hangovers give me anxiety too) I get asked to drive. Someone else will get us there but I get asked to drive back. The idea seems right, I don't want anyone getting pulled over or worse, getting into an accident, but the way it's always assumed starts to annoy me. It's always at night (bad for me) in a car I am not familiar with (again bad) , it could be raining (oh no!) and I usually want to take a longer, slower route to avoid traffic (which makes drunk people angry, or wanting to shout directions at you constantly). Sometimes I think about having a drink so I won't be the sober one, but that's not me. Any advice? I kinda sound selfish but when I am not in the best frame of mind anyways, then add stressful driving on top of it, it doesn't sound too promising. Just curious if any of you find yourself in this situation because of driving anxieties . . . .thanks!
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