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Juniper29

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About Juniper29

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  1. I feel like I can't be myself around people who don't have MI or at least enough personal experience to really get it. My partner doesn't have MI except for mild anxiety, but his mom has untreated psychosis of some kind (he's tried to get her help but without success). My mom and sister, who I'm close to, have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder. I don't have many close friends outside of family ... never been good at making them, and recently lost most of the ones I'd made when I started to get paranoid. There's one acquaintance we do play dates with but I haven't really opened up to her as I'm afraid to ruin that too.
  2. prozac for OCD

    Mine just got upped to 80 mg ... for depression, but I have some OCDish symptoms so it will be interesting to see if it has any effect there at the higher dose. I'm also curious to know the reason OCD needs higher doses.
  3. Thanks guys. I did start the higher dose this morning. I think when I'm in an episode I forget what baseline feels like.
  4. I called my pdoc yesterday and was told to increase the Prozac, but now I'm wondering if I'm really depressed "enough" or if I should have just waited it out. It's been a few weeks of depression but some days are not too bad ... only the bad days seem to be getting worse. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed and my whole body hurt. But does having some OK days mixed in mean that I might just bounce back from this or should I stop it before it gets worse. Am I relying too much on the medication? Or am I just so used to being depressed that I'm minimizing how bad it is?
  5. Yes, I do this a lot. My tdoc thinks my paranoia is partly driven by projected guilt. I dislike myself and feel worthy of punishment, so I believe other people dislike me and are out to punish me somehow. I don't know how to stop doing it, though. Or even why I have so much negativity towards myself.
  6. Thanks everyone. I did talk to my pdoc and she said for now to keep taking the abilify but see if benedryl helps. It's actually been much better the last two days.
  7. I understand the desire to have a clear category. I have a MDD diagnosis but many features suggestive of bipolarity according to the spectrum theory (strong family history, early onset, atypical depression, recurrence, psychotic features). I also experience irritability and rage. No hypomania as far as I can tell, no risky behaviors or anything. It's totally possible that my dx will eventually change to BPII, but for now, since unlike you I respond to antidepressants, I guess it makes sense to keep it as MDD ... although Lamictal has been suggested as a good option if my current meds stop working. Theres not really much point to this post except that you're not alone in inhabiting the gray area. Let us know how the Lamictal turns out.
  8. Medication, therapy, a strict sleep schedule, daily mood tracking. When I'm able to make myself go for a walk it usually helps my mood but when really depressed I have trouble just walking across the room. I check in with my support people a lot. This is just how I stay relatively stable and functional, I'm still not really "normal." For me, some signs that things are going downhill would be if I stop eating, sleep too much and still have no energy, am thinking about self harm all the time, think people are watching me/reading my thoughts.
  9. prozac for OCD

    I think 80 is usually considered the max but my pdoc said she would be willing to go as high as 100. I don't really have any side effects from it that I'm aware of.
  10. 8-9 months, I think. And no, I only took Seroquel very briefly (a couple nights).
  11. Abilify was my first guess. I had a hand tremor when I started it but that went away. This oneis really uncomfortable and annoying.
  12. I've suddenly developed some kind of tremor where my head involuntarily shakes/wobbles. My husband sees it so it's not in my imagination. I will obviously ask my pdoc about it, but I'm curious if this is more likely to be the abilify or the gabapentin? I'm on pretty low doses of both ...
  13. My son watches way too much TV and basically subsists on snacks. That's partly the autism as he has texture sensitivities. But Inalways feel I should be doing more to improve his diet. He had weekly feeding therapy for like 2 years and I wasn't able to keep up with all the stuff I was supposed to be doing at home because my depression would get in the way. I am pretty good at getting him out places but my therapist had to really encourage me in the beginning. Now I do it because he's such a handful at home, it's a relief to go out. A relative bought us a zoo membership so it's free when we go. Maybe during the summer months you could pick one day a week to go to the park or some other place that you enjoy. Once it becomes a habit it gets easier. But if that's not realistic for you then don't worry about it. My mom didn't take me places a lot so I spent a lot of time making up my own play and stories. I catastrophize, too. Last weekend I spent worrying that CPS was going to take my child for neglect, and wondering if maybe he would be better off if that happened. My tdoc told me that's extremely unlikely to happen. But that's where my mind goes. Sorry if I'm rambling!
  14. I don’t know that it’s normal, but Zoloft also increased my anxiety at higher doses. I couldn’t go above 75 mg without the side effects outweighing the benefits. I’m on Prozac now and don’t have this problem.
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