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About Juniper29

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  1. Yes, I feel isolated. I pretty much lost all my close friends a couple years ago when I was going through a difficult time. Plus I tend to become very closed off when I feel like people are reading my mind and such, which makes it harder to connect even with people I am close to. I don't think you will alienate people here, though.
  2. First of all, I like my therapist a lot. She doesn't just listen to me (like a former therapist I had), she gives suggestions and information, asks questions, challenges me, etc. I've been seeing her biweekly for years and I don't personally feel like it's too long given how much has happened in those years, but I recently read something about how it was bad to be in therapy for years and makes people worse? I started seeing my current therapist for suicidal/self-harming ideation. We worked on childhood trauma stuff which I have a much better perspective on now and am better able to deal with. She also helped me find my first real job. Then I got married and had a child. I had prenatal and postpartum depression, the birth was traumatic, my son ended up having multiple special needs. I also developed symptoms of psychosis and possible OCD. So all of that is stuff we've been working on, obviously the goals have changed over time. There has been a lot and I feel grateful to have had her support through it. Now I'm questioning it because of what I read. Has anyone else spent a long time in therapy and found it helpful? Or do you think therapy should be kept as short as possible?
  3. Relapsed After 12 Years...

    Don't discount the 12 years you didn't self-harm. You haven't ruined them, they still count and you can start again despite this slip-up. I'm sorry your hospital stay was so unhelpful and that you got that telephone call. It sounds like all the things you turned to for support were not supportive, and so you went back to self harm to cope, which is understandable. Can I give you a virtual hug?
  4. While this is generally true, it's not true for kids that have eating disorders. My son has an eating disorder and will actually starve and dehydrate himself. Not saying this is necessarily the case for OP's child who sounds otherwise healthy, but it can happen.
  5. tired of mental illness in media

    I liked Infinitely Polar Bear. I don't think I've ever seen a good representation of major depression.
  6. By psychomotor retardation I mean difficulty moving. Like your limbs seem to be made of lead and in slow motion, so everything is physically hard, even standing up and walking across the room makes you exhausted. My thinking and speech also slows down. But yes it helped with motivation and energy.
  7. At 5 mg I felt increased energy within the first week. I had bad psychomotor retardation and it cleared that up fast. But also made me a bit jittery and anxious for a while. I'm finding 10 mg more calming and sedating so far.
  8. Drug holiday

    Well, I was off meds for 7 years after a bad experience being on them. I didn't really see it as a holiday because I didn't think I would ever try meds again. I have mixed feelings about that time period. Somehow I managed to get through college and get married and have a child during that time. At the same time, I was frequently suicidal, tormented by anxiety and at times so paranoid I couldn't leave my apartment. Would things have gone better if I'd been on the right meds? I don't know, I just know my unmedicated brain is pretty scary.
  9. Great question! I would also like to know. I recently developed a lot of driving-related obsessions and it turned out that there was actually something wrong with my car, just not any of the things I was worried about. It's hard to sort these things out when your brain is unreliable.
  10. casual jokes about your MI

    That would annoy me.
  11. I've had repeated blood work and it's always normal. I do take a vit D supplement.
  12. casual jokes about your MI

    My husband makes jokes about my MI and I think they're funny. I have a dark, sometimes inappropriate sense of humor. I joke about being crazy when I'm with close family (my mom and sister also have SMI). I don't have a lot of close friends, but my oldest friend, who knows what I have, never jokes about it and I know it's because it makes her uncomfortable. I think humor is healthy as long as it's not mean spirited.