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sStrangelove

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About sStrangelove

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  1. Trileptal for mania?

    When Inwent inpatient for the first time, I was given Trileptal as a mood stabilizer -- not for mania. It had an "okay-ish" effect for depression, but it did not seem to help for the manic side of things. My pdoc changed me over to Lamictal for mood stabilization (mostly effective for depression) and Seroquel for helping control mania. I found the Lamictal to be more effective. However, everyone's experiences and bodies are different -- so you may find Trileptal to be a highly effective med for mania.
  2. Hi, everyone. The past six days have SUCKED! Sorry, just had to get that out there first. I have been really struggling. I've been depressed for a month, but last Wednesday things started getting really bad. I have been self-harming. I have had thoughts of suicide. They are detailed. I hate them. I told my husband I wanted to go inpatient on Sunday, because I was afraid of hurting myself more. He facepalmed and just sat there shaking his head. So I didn't go. My husband doesn't want me in and my parents think I don't need it. I called my pdoc yesterday hoping for advice, but her MA said she wasn't there and said she would email her. The MA said she's get back to me this morning. It's now noon. I haven't heard from anyone. I'm starting to feel like I'm screaming as loud as I can and nobody hears me. I know how cliched that is, but it's the truth. I know I need help because of the images in my mind but nobody thinks I need help because I haven't attempted. I just don't know what to do. Is this normal for a pdoc to do? I did tell the MA that I'm having suicidal thoughts. She just typed that in the email, I guess. I just don't know where to go from here.
  3. Mixed Up?

    Hi, Phiddipus -- I take Lamictal, Seroquel, and Gabapentin. The Gabapentin isn't doing anything anymore so my pdoc wants me off of it.
  4. Did not expect asthma

    I'm so glad you got a diagnosis that will help you address your breathing problems! Don't bad -- we have so many physical and emotional side effects from both Bipolar Disorder and the meds we take to handle it that it's easy to attribute almost any symptom to our illness. You've done well. You advocated for yourself. Good job!
  5. I have two children, ages 13 and 11. They are remarkable -- I cannot imagine my life without them. I was undiagnosed when I had them, and regret that terribly. Until two years ago I was highly symptomatic, and had no idea what was going on. I just thought I was a horrible mom. How I held it together until they were older, I have no idea. However, after two stints IP, being diagnosed and starting meds, I finally became the mom I had hoped I could be. That doesn't mean there aren't still episodes of instability. There are, and with them come feelings of guilt and ineptitude. Even if I had known I had an MI, I would still have had my children. I wanted them, and they have been my life's most precious blessing. One thing I would say: make sure your relationship with your partner is stable and healthy before having kids. My relationship with my husband was fine until I was pregnant and my symptoms became exacerbated. He became angry, and I became scared and resentful. The pressure of trying to maintain a struggling relationship on top of the inevitable stresses of parenting and struggling with Bipolar Disorder and GAD was almost unbearable at times. By knowing your diagnosis beforehand, and having a frank discussion of the realities of parenting, hopefully you can avoid that pitfall. I admire your ability to think ahead and address these difficult issues, Blahblah.
  6. I'm so sorry, I didn't know there was a parenting forum! My bad
  7. Bad with Money

    I feel you! I am horrible with money. I could make a million dollars and still screw things up. The bad thing is I can get determined and do really well for about two months and then all of a sudden I just don't care anymore.
  8. One of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life is being a parent. My children are such an amazing blessing. They are funny, loving, kind and so, so intelligent. They love unconditionally, are patient with me when others aren't. They have been my very best teachers and I adore and love them beyond words. I was wondering about the experiences of others who parent while having Bipolar Disorder. My experience of motherhood is plagued with guilt. I always fear that my illness will impact them negatively, especially during an episode. They did not ask to have a parent with a mental illness. When I am in an episode -- like I am currently -- my self care gets tossed out the window because the most important thing is to make sure that they are properly cared for, and that is the way it should be, but it makes it much harder for me to get better -- which, of course, creates more guilt. I am very interested in how others parent during their Bipolar episodes and how their children react when their illness becomes obvious. Being a mom is my number one job, and I always feel AWFUL when I cannot do it well when I'm depressed or manic. How do you get the job done when ill?
  9. Mixed Up?

    I went to my pdoc and told her that I stopped the med, how I was feeling and that I have had thoughts of suicide. She just told me to go back on the Seroquel. My therapist, who I have seen the past two days -- yesterday by appointment and today by his insistence -- is talking to me about going inpatient. I'm just. It sure what to do. I'm exhausted from depression and lack of sleep. I can't eat -- when I try I feel sick. I can't drink anything. I just don't care. I fear going inpatient. It I also fear that if I don't admit myself I'll hit the point where it's not a voluntary choice.
  10. Is olanzipone Latuda? my pdoc tried to get me to take Latuda yesterday -- but considering I did not know it's potential side effects I decided to go back on the Seroquel I had stopped taking. At least I know what it does to me. If you need to develop a regular sleep schedule, low-dose antipsychotics can help with that. They act more as a sedative than an antipsychotic at lower doses. What do you think you're going to do?
  11. I am glad to have found this forum. The other one that I was participating in shut down some time ago. I have Bipolar 1 and I think I might be going mixed. I usually have a pretty good bead on what my illness is doing but it's starting to get murky now. I was getting depressed starting about five weeks ago, and after having to miss several doses of my low dosage of Seroquel I stopped taking it, figuring that I hate the side effects and maybe it would help to feel better to get off a sedating drug. Things have been up and down since then -- and I have started drinking again, which I know isn't that good. Not drinking too much, just reasonable amounts. I'm still on my mood stabilizer but I feel down. Yesterday was awful. I was jittery and my legs wouldn't stop shaking, but I had a hard time getting up and doing anything. My brain was going too fast -- I couldn't hold onto a thought. Images flew through my mind. It was a monumantal effort to take care of my kids-- make meals, talk to them, etc. Worst of all I cut my arm with scissors -- not bad enough to bleed a lot, but I have the marks this morning. I did not WANT to. It happened. My husband just left out of town for work and last night. I feel alone and sort of scared. I have an appointment with my pdoc next week. Should I just hang on til then? I need advice, if anyone is willing to give it. I'm sorry for the long post.
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