tryp

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About tryp

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    Bawk Bawk Therapy Cranes!

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  • Gender
    female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Interests
    sleep, sanity, cats, trashy television, psychopharmacology

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  1. I'm interested in this too - I haven't been able to find one that I really like. I do use the app PHQ-9 which is a standardized depression rating scale and I take it once a week. The only issue is, the history only goes back so far - it only keeps like the last however many scores, so you don't get as much data over time as I'd like. Same with PTSD Coach, which I also use.
  2. Yeah mostly they don't do the test unless you have symptoms.
  3. SSRIs are really idiosyncratic for that - there's none that will really do that in the way that the ones you mentioned will. Generally speaking, fluvoxamine tends to be the most sedating. The citaloprams (citalopram and escitalopram) are also on the calming side. Fluoxetine tends to be more stimulating, and sertraline as well to some extent. Not sure about paroxetine.
  4. I don't think it's creepy. Different doctors have different limits on what they accept - some accept no gifts at all and some are totally cool with it. I don't think $20 is universal at least where I am but "nominal value" is the most common boundary which a hat definitely is. I think it's a really sweet gift. I hope you're able to give it to her and she likes it.
  5. Honestly a ton of other stuff happened that did not help.
  6. I was honestly closer to harming myself this evening than I have been in years. I am so done.
  7. It depresses the absolute shit out of me. Every birthday for the past five years or so has just been more and more miserable. It reminds me that I have been unrelentingly and hopelessly single for five years with no prospects of getting married or having children, when everybody around me seems to be doing exactly that. Having a family is so important to me, and every birthday just rubs it in that I am one year closer to missing my chance, and that my fertility and the dating pool are both dwindling as we speak. I am so sick of hearing that I "still have a chance" and that "something will come along." NOTHING IS FUCKING COMING ALONG. It also reminds me that I am estranged from almost all of my family, including my father, who has not so much as sent a card in over 15 years. He did text me pre-emptively yesterday, presumably so he didn't have to contact me on the actual day. Furthermore, since I am turning 28 today, it marks 10 years/a decade since I stopped living with my parents (I hate the phrase "left home") and started trying to undo the damage of all of those years of abuse. And despite 10 years of basically relentless 110% effort, probably over a dozen different medications, and like seven therapists, I am still SUPER fucked up. All of this is only worsened by the expectation of everybody around me that I be happy. I don't even have the heart to disappoint people by telling them how miserable I am and how much I don't want to be alive. I wish people would stop asking me what I'm "doing for my birthday." "The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try not to fucking die." My birthday can go die in a fire. What the fuck do I even do with this shit?
  8. I agree with Ion - trauma has an aspect of subjectivity to it, and you'd be the best person to know if this incident was traumatic for you and needs to be worked through in therapy. Certainly if managing stress is a problem, perhaps some therapy focused on new ways of managing your stress in the present could be of use. But I feel like it would be questionable to go to therapy to talk about something that doesn't bother you. Seems like that would just make things worse.
  9. Hi Kona - Hard to know for sure - sounds complicated and distressing! Some people who work in trauma consider BPD to be a trauma-spectrum disorder alongside PTSD, complex PTSD, and the dissociative disorders, and conceptualize them on a spectrum of dissociation, and dissociation is a symptom both of PTSD (especially from prolonged or childhood abuse) and BPD. Not uncommon for BPD to come along with dysregulation in identity in the way that you describe - it seems to fall into the realm of dissociative symptoms/defences that come along with the whole complex trauma picture. I feel like sometimes anxious traumatized people (I am also anxious) suppress a ton of anger or whatever due to being afraid to offend people and then it sometimes just blows out in a way that feels totally foreign. I've had that experience myself.
  10. I don't remember when things started to settle down unfortunately - it was six years ago and it's all sort of fuzzy. I don't remember a lot of anxiety though, or at least not more than my usually high anxiety level. More so depression and irritability.
  11. It would be quite odd to gain 8 pounds of actual weight in 3 days from any medication. Lithium can cause some water retention, so if you're feeling a bit puffy, it may be that, or it may be unrelated. What did you specifically want to know about lithium pharmacology?
  12. Lamictal can be a difficult drug to get onto - when I was starting it, I found that I was extremely up and down, with wild mood swings. It settled down once I was at a therapeutic dose, and I've stayed on it for 6 years now. What did help me was splitting the dose and taking half in the morning and half at night. When I take it all at once, my mood gets super unstable.
  13. I drew a timeline with years/ages and then put dots on the places where the traumas occurred and wrote down what happened basically, like the type of trauma and a sentence about what it was. If I wanted to do a bigger/more complete one I would get a huge piece of paper and use more colours. But the one I did is kind of bare bones.
  14. Sounds like a vasovagal reaction - you could try this technique: https://www.anxietybc.com/adults/applied-tension-technique-people-who-faint-sight-blood-or-needles It may also help to have the blood draw done while lying down, and stay lying down for a few minutes afterwards. Also helps to be well hydrated and, if possible, fed, though obviously fasting bloodwork precludes that.
  15. Have you tried drawing or painting on yourself with red marker/paint?