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Fluent In Silence

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  1. random thoughts!

    I'm hopelessly fucked up. I'm never going to fit in anywhere.
  2. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Have I posted enough that people know me well enough to hate me yet?
  3. Socialising is difficult for me without help from the old crutch. Sober it's like "Should I say this? Does it sound stupid? Will it offend anyone? Will I regret saying this?" and by the time all that's run through my head the conversation has moved on anyway and it's too late. Drunkeness cuts out all of the paranoid self doubt, for better and worse. Yeah say that your six year old niece's space hopper looks like a lesbian sex toy. It's all going to be fine ."What's a lezzybun?" "Ask your mother." Somewhere inbetween would be good. Too trapped in my own head when I'm sober, and I wish there was another way, y'know a way that didn't involve liver damage. Anyone completely sober? Muslims I guess. And some of them really need a drink. The extremist fuckwits should just have a beer and calm the fuck down. Should I blow myself up for the glory of Allah? Or should I get a round of tequilla slammers? I'm not trying to offend non-extremist muslims, though I probably have. Alcohol as the solution to Islamic extremism. What did I say about for better and worse? How do I dig myself out of this hole? I'm not anti-islam. But I am sort of because I'm an athiest so all religions are wrong and I'm right, which sounds arrogant but there's a very good argument as to why it isn't which I can't be arsed explaining right now. All religions seems a bit far fetched to believe in so I'm not trying to insult Islam in particular, I'm trying to insult all religions. Erm... that came out wrong. What the fuck am I talking about?
  4. I was denied to donate blood because I have a mental illness

    Ha ha! That's fucking stupid! Unless you're a vampire. Are you a vampire trying to create more vampires by giving people your cursed blood? Is vampire a recognised condition in the latest DSM. Dunno, haven't read it. VPD? Of course you aren't because vampires don't exist (or is that what they want us to think? Nah they don't exist. My uncle Vlad told me so.) Seems stupid as well as offensive. I was joking about the vampire thing but that's how they must see it, the fucking idiots.
  5. random thoughts!

    A good nights sleep would be nice. The other night I was so tired and I hoped I'd fall asleep straight away. But then I started thinking about the reasons for and against abortions, which isn't a relaxing topic to send you off to sleep. I think that women should have the right to choose. Can I go to sleep now? No because the labels 'pro choice' and 'pro life' simplify the argument and.... god I can't be arsed to explain the reasoning because I haven't slept well for a while. But women should have a right to abortions because of reasons that I can't be bothered to explain. Go to sleep you stupid fuck!
  6. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Sort of drunk, which is to fill the hole caused by thinking that I'm always going to be alone and nobody will ever love me. Hell I can't love me, so what sort of idiot could love me? "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member." If someone swore their undying love to me then I'd wonder what's wrong with them. How can I respect someone who loves a person like me? That all sounded a bit moody didn't it? Wibble wibble ktchang gazoinks and gadooby. And that's why I hate the Jews. No not really. Did I mention I've been drinking? I'm not anti-semitic, I just thought it sounded funny and wibble wibble ktchang gazoinks and gadooby is a much more solid reason than those fucktards can come up with. I like to think that I don't descriminate against people of a different race, gender or religion (though I don't have any religion). Two types of people in the world - people with some intelligence and dumb fucks, everything else is decoration. That all sounded a bit arrogant didn't it? OK I'm going to shut up now.
  7. Lol 'I am certainly mentally interesting.' Haven't thought of it like that before. A lot of people aren't at all mentally interesting so it's a pleasure to meet you ka-mai.
  8. What are you listening to NOW?

    This is just fucking lovely. MBV cover. Ba da ba ba ba da ba ba baaa.
  9. Questions Thread

    Don't know what the last question was so I'll go ahead and ask one of my own. Which member of the Scooby Doo gang are you most sexually attracted to? Personally it's Velma all the way for me. I know Daphne is meant to be the hot one but she seems fucking dim. Velma's rocking that geek look, and under that orange roll neck sweater is a sex panther waiting to pounce. For women or gay men it's a choice between Shaggy or Fred. Fred always seemed like a bit of a dick to me. I'd rather hang out with Shaggy and spark up some "scooby snacks". There's always Scooby of course, which would be a bit fucking weird but it's your lifestyle choice. What I can't stand is anyone who's sexually attracted to Scrappy-Doo. Hate that little fucker.
  10. random thoughts!

    I've been thinking about buying this thing just to find out what the fuck it is. It's listed on ebay as 'USB Heating Rod Hole Warmer Heating For Male Toys Auto Heat Control Sex', which raises more questions than it answers. It's USB, which is convenient these days when so many of our gadgets need power from a USB point. Heating Rod Hole Warmer for Male. Erm... So it's to heat up your anus? Not the best advertising strategy if that's the case. All those flames and a ring of fire. 'And it burns, burns, burns.' Do do do do do doo do do. (I'm talking about Johnny Cash and burning arseholes incase you didn't get the reference.) Is that a thing though? God my anus is so chilly! If only there was a USB powered gadget which would solve my predicament. Auto heat control sex? Well... I understand the words individually but how they met and what they're doing together is a fucking mystery to me. Ok, I guess the opposite of auto heat control sex is manual heat control sex. And we've all had manual heat control sex haven't we? I haven't. And I wonder if everyone's been having some sort of heat control sex without me and I'm the last one to learn about it. Won't someone have heat control sex with me? I'll let you choose whether it's manual or automatic. But anyway, what the holy fuck is this thing?
  11. I'm mad as hell! And toothbrushes and shit.

    The amount of bullshit that we have to swallow often goes unnoticed because it's so ubiquitous. But a couple of days ago I saw something which made me see through the matrix. It was an ad for a toothbrush. "Brush like a pro" it said. What the fuck does that even mean? I assume that all of us have been brushing our teeth all our lives and didn't know that we were mere amateurs at the art. For there exists a professional way to brush your teeth. The dictionary defines 'professional' as 'engaged in a specified activity as one's main paid occupation rather than as an amateur.' So there are apparently 'professionals' out there who are earning a living by brushing their teeth. And like with most professions, I imagine that they had to go to College and learn how to brush their teeth from a wizened old professor, who at first appears to be a real hard arse, but who really has a good heart and is really trying to do his best by his students. In the film version he could be played by Tom Hanks. He'd be mentoring some kid from the ghettos, who's a natural tooth brusher. One of the best. But he has some issues to work through before he can become the best damn tooth brusher that the world has ever seen, which Tom Hanks will help with because he used to be a contender in the world of professional tooth brushing but let it slip away. And Tom Hanks is seeking his own redemption by teaching this kid how to brush his teeth. Fucking epic!
  12. Then And Now- pics!

    Makes me feel sad to think of then. Obviously not me but this is then And this is now
  13. random thoughts!

    The big 4 0 seems alarmingly close. I remember when people over 40 seemed ancient. To be this old and still have no idea how to live. But with age comes wisdom, and I'd like to share some of the wisdom I've gained with the kids. Firstly, age doesn't necessarily go together with wisdom. People who were dumb cunts when they were young are going to become dumb old cunts. Respect you elders? Donald fucking Trump! But here's some wisdom. No-one knows shit and the people who claim that they do are the biggest fucktards of them all. If I had to define wisdom then I'd say that it's being aware of your own ignorance. Nice to think that we all grow wiser as we get older but that's not how it works. People tend to get more set in their ways and more convinced of their own opinions. Young people these days! Oh god fucking damn. Go back a thousand years and you'll find people complaining about the youngsters these days. Though life expectancy was probably about 35 back then. Not like in the good old days when misogyny and homophobia didn't alert the PC brigade. These days you can't insult women or shout abuse at homosexuals without someone saying that it's not PC. Things were much better in the old days when we stuck children up chimneys and kept women like slaves. Oh those good old days were fucking stupid. So I'd say to people who are younger than me that you shouldn't respect your elders, because most of them are dicks. What a dumb fucking idea that is anyway. Who want's to be respected because they've managed to keep breathing for so many years? If the only thing people can respect you for is how long you've managed to exist then you probably don't deserve any fucking respect. God, I'm not that old yet. I'm still young for about 16 months before I turn 40 and have to grow a moustache. RESPECT THE TACHE! YOUNG PEOPLE THESE DAYS!
  14. WTF

    I've alway found the idea of dick pics hilarious. I've never sent one and I understand that women don't find them amusing. Just the thought that some men might think this will work. "As my ol' grandmama used to say - a way to a woman's heart is through pictures of my junk." Maybe they considered sending flowers or even writing a poem. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. So here's a picture of my wang instead. Do they imagine that years from now they'll be explaining to their children how they met and fell in love and she'll say "When your father sent me a picture of his love truncheon I knew he was the one for me."
  15. WTF

    And they say that romance is dead. On the plus side when a man says "he wants to lick my @** or f**k my mouth...!??! " he's at least making it very obvious that you want nothing to do with this prick. Dik Dik pics!