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gazelle

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About gazelle

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  1. You're definitely not alone. to be honest what has helped me the most with so many of the same symptoms you have with bipolar 2, anxiety, and ADHD I is medication. I can honestly say that on more than one Med I am 60% better than I was when I came in to my current P doc's office. whatever you do don't give up you are worth the fight and finding strategies and meds that help. Like others here have mentioned therapy helps a little bit just having someone to talk to but it didn't even come close to touching the surface of my issues. Meds have done that and more.
  2. Okay so here's the deal. I was diagnosed ADHD I a few years back and I have been on Vyvanse 50 mg for a while now-- like years-- and it has helped me a lot. One of the behaviors that it helps with was that I had a little bit of hoarding and compulsive collecting and shopping habits with certain items. Before Vyvanse, I was spending a lot of money that I didn't need to and had something like 35 perfumes and tons of makeup and books. Sadly though the Vyvanse never took my underlying depression away, and I knew there was more going on so then I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. It seems to fit. I have been on Propranolol for almost 3 months now and it has worked well for me for anxiety. I have been stable on Latuda since early June and I really liked it from day one because my depression or the suicidal ideation lifted. I had previously been on Topiramate and Lamictal and neither of them work well for me. in fact my doctor said she wrote down that I have an allergy to anticonvulsants. My daylio chart since Latuda has gone from up and way down to being green and purple as in good days and meh days which is so much better for the most part. But for the last week or so I have realized I have been compulsively shopping and starting to collect items again. I read that this can be a side effect of Latuda, and it very much feels like what I was doing before in terms of compulsion. I have underlying OCD Tendencies anyway as a recovering binge eater (the Vyvanse and Latuda seem to really help with that together) and long-term number watcher and collector. It's like the Latuda is canceling out the part of the Vyvanse that controls the compulsive shopping stuff even though the Vyvanse is still helping me with motivation and my motivation to work and stuff is much better with Vyvanse and Latuda than it was before. I'm working more hours with better quality than I have in the whole time I've had a job. the only reason I still had a job honestly it's because I work from home and it's not a super tough job but I have been slacking on it for years between all of my brain stuff making it very hard to work. I'm only on 20 mg of Latuda daily, so do you think it's possible that I need to be up to 40 for this to stop or do you think that I'm just going to have to either live with this side effect since it's one of the only ones I have or that I would need to switch medications? I'm not spending huge sums of money but I am spending money every day on stuff that I don't need and it is very obviously a feeling of being compelled to do so. Ugh. the contented and dare I say it happy feeling that I had had up until this last week has been replaced by the need to buy things or think about buying something. Thoughts? Has anyone else dealt with this particular side effect and what did your pdoc end up doing? I was feeling really stable, and so she changed my appointment to every 2 months now and I'm not due to see her again until early September. I appreciate any feedback you might have or ideas.
  3. I have been on Latuda at 20 mg for almost a month now and it's been working very well for my bipolar 2. But now there's a kink I'm wondering about. Started my period two days ago and it is horrible pain and cramping wise. I rarely even have to take Tylenol on my period but I took ibuprofen yesterday and just popped more today. Yesterday pain wasn't that bad; today is pretty bad. I had to go lie down. My left knee is also hurting but so is my lower stomach down to my calf on that side. I'm thinking about taking an Aleve actually after the ibuprofen wears off which I almost never do. Has anyone else had this side effect? I've heard some things about people having really long periods, and I hope that doesn't happen. If it goes over 7 or 8 days then I guess I'll have my answer. I already have PCOS and take Metformin so I don't really need to add to any of it. Also I might end up on 40 mg of Latuda and I'm wondering if upping the dose will make this even worse. Not sure yet so I'm really wondering if this gets better or stays the same. Experiences?
  4. It refers to splitting someone into an angel one moment and a devil the next, rather than seeing people in the gray as a mix of good and bad.
  5. Just wanted to update. I ended up getting switched to Latuda. Started at 10mg since I'm really med sensitive. I like it so far--suicidal l thoughts stopped with the first dose and I'm happier and not as grumpy. Going to move to 20 mg tomorrow.
  6. I've had that, too. This definitely Disturbed me more though. I know I did see one terrible post on Reddit where the child of a BPD mother said her mom used to tell her all the time that she hoped the wonderful father/husband would die and then they can get the insurance when he did. So I'm thinking it's not unheard of. But that's pretty terrible.
  7. When you are splitting, do you ever engage in fantasies about the person that you are hating at the time? In one particular case, my fantasies included ways this person could die. Mind you, this is a person who is very close to me, err hmm partner. None of the ways he died in the scenarios were by my hand or entailed murder committed by me, but they were all things like being hit by car or knocked over by falling tree, having a stroke, or any other crazy thing you could think of. It was like a malicious screwed up form of escapism, but it makes me feel very guilty. And I have wondered for a while where it came from. It's not something that you would ask someone about, you know? I didn't even know where to begin with that level of craziness. When I get angry or enraged about something, I feel he has done to me, it is quite easy for me to move into this territory. For example I can put myself to sleep at night fantasizing this way. I haven't done this lately but it is definitely something I have done in the recent past. I don't yet have a BPD diagnosis but I am very sure that I have it and that I was misdiagnosed as bipolar 2 or that I have SAD or bipolar 2 in addition to BPD and ADHD I. Reading the criteria for borderline personality disorder explained so much about my life and I fit 7 of them for sure. I would appreciate any responses if anyone has experienced similar because I'm just wondering if this is something way beyond what a borderline person might experience or if it is something that could be part of splitting. These fantasies are about the same guy that I put on a pedestal and gush about endlessly at other moments.
  8. Well it ended up being a no-go because I got really terrible, painful glandular swelling that is listed as one of the more serious side effects and quit it. By that point I was feeling terrible anyway so it's going to be back to the drawing board as far as adding something else in besides Vyvanse and Propranolol but I do really feel that I need something since my mood tends to stay around irritable and mostly depressed these days. We are also looking at borderline personality disorder as a possibility since the more reading I did on it the more it actually seemed like that might be my issue in addition to or instead of bipolar 2. I have at least seven out of the 9 traits in the DSM and noticed that while most of the bipolar 2 folks were having moods every few days or a couple of weeks I seem to have several moods a day at least. My best friend is also bipolar and she said there is definitely something that is really different about the two of us and that I do not easily let anything go as far as a slight or when I feel hurt by someone. In other words meaning of my mood changes seem to be linked to interpersonal dealings. Thanks you guys for all of the feedback!
  9. Ok. Will definitely consider it and bring it up to psych! Thanks. :-)
  10. Hi all I'm new here first diagnosed with ADHD I and now with bipolar 2 and anxiety. I'm having some trouble with the meds that I'm on. I'm taking between 25 and 50 mg of Vyvanse daily. It helps with my depression, ADHD, and binge eating, but even though I'm a big girl I'm very sensitive to meds in general so my dose is fairly low. Since I was just diagnosed with bipolar in April, the psychiatrist added a mood stabilizer which is Lamictal. It is making me super sleepy but I'm not sleeping well at night. I already know that I don't do well with anticonvulsants because I can't even take 25 mg of Topiramate without being zombie like tired all day. Also my Promethease test shows that I have a gene for processing anticonvulsants less efficiently than other people. Lamictal seems to be doing the same thing that topiramate does to me, at least to some extent. I am also on 60 mg ER of propranolol at bedtime for a fast pulse and anxiety. I'm averaging about 5 hours of sleep right now and that is not working well for me. I am really wanting to request doing something different than this Lamictal. I'm definitely feeling more stable, but I cannot function as a zombie with a four-year-old. What would you suggest that I talk with my pdoc about when I go back, if anything? I've made it up to 75 mg of Lamictal and it's killer. My only option I'm thinking is to quit taking it in the morning and try it at night, but that never helped with Topiramate either. I will say that I struggle more with depression than hypomania but I do have hypomanic episodes--at least a few year with the seasonal changes and sometimes I wonder if I don't rapid cycle as well. I will also add that a concern for me would be weight gain because I'm already in the obese category, though I am losing weight--only with the help of the Vyvanse and dealing with the binge eating and ADHD for the last couple of years since I was diagnosed. Thanks!
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