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About deeschmee

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  • Birthday 07/02/1968

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  1. Now that's interesting that you mention B vitamins! I inject B12 every month because my body doesn't produce enough!! 🤓
  2. You are very knowledgeable! I wasn't even aware that I could take a genetic test. No one has offered. So far I'm pretty stable with where I'm at. No true thoughts of suicide, I don't lay in bed as much and I'm actually smiling on occasion!!
  3. Because I need to read it!!! 🤓 Think I posted about this but here's a new version. Talk to text so excuse the grammar. I'm dating this guy who's 18 years pyounger than me yikes who seems to be so sweet. We have crazy Marathon sex which you know it's fun but I want more. But do I want more? I'm not sure the injured part of me pushes people away and keeps them at a distance and I fluctuate back and forth between being needy and being reclusive. Basically I want someone to come in and love me for who I am MI and all And someone who just gets me and someone who I really really enjoy being with and look forward to seeing I do not feel that way about this guy he is so sweet though and he keeps me from being lonely I almost feel as though I'm using him which is really not nice to do. I've tried to break it off with him at least four times now and it never works he always has such valid Arguments for keeping seeing each other. Such as it's fun to spend time with each other age isn't really a thing the sex is good and we keep each other company I'm just not feeling it but I am so scared to be alone I feel so awful Plus at my age it's really Slim Pickens where I live as far as guy my same age are concerned
  4. Why??

  5. @browri My generic is the same. I did have that issue with buproprion though so that was worth a look, thank you! I'm feeling ok, more energy at 75mg of venlafexine with folic acid as well.
  6. Yes, it feels good to have someone show me attention and be nice to me. I get very lonely. Do you think it's fair to pursue other men while still seeing him? Even though he prefer I don't? I'm so terrible at relationships. With him, I alternate between keeping closed off, and desiring a real connection. Thank you for advice. You really explained it very well
  7. @coraline I'm sorry you have to feel this way. It takes so much energy to think about these things. One can only hope that one day, somehow, things will get better. If only a tiny little bit. ❤
  8. Why??

    This is how my brain SHOULD be thinking, that those who genuinely want to see me will stop asking why, or making snarky comments. My mixed up brain resorts back to the injured little girl who needs to explain.
  9. So I've been on and off online dating for a while. This one guy has been pursuing me I ended up giving my him my number and we've been texting back and forth for about 6 months. During that time had other short-term relationships, yet he kept on texting me back. He kept on pursuing me. It became attractive so I finally gave in. Here's my confusion. I have some pretty strong attachment issues, being adopted, being abused by adoptive parents, being severely abused by exes. This guy is so sweet yet he doesn't want to discuss any long-term type of thing. He also is 18 years younger than me and I told him that bothers me, but he has no problem with it. I feel that at this age in my life, I should be pursuing an older, more committed man. So I still keep looking and talking to other guys online, even though 32 year old would prefer I don't. I have trust issues as well, and feel like I'll break his heart before he breaks mine. I just don't know how to set all this right in my mind Any advice please? PS. He has made it clear that his work and son come first, so his time is limited to 2-3 days a week
  10. Why??

    I guess my question should have been " What do I say to people who question why I behave like I do sometimes?" They realize I don't want to see them, but don't understand how they trigger my MI. I havent found a suitable response to "Why don't you come around anymore?" Type questions.
  11. Yes, yes. Good advice for sure. I like the way you think!
  12. That makes much more sense to me. How come when I take ssri they make me very lethargic? I've tried Wellbutrin/buproprion multiple times, each making me panicky
  13. Yep. 75, for now is doing it. Looking back, I can't believe how depressed and lethargic I felt on 150
  14. Why??

    I do. She said I don't need to explain a thing 😕
  15. What was she thinking?

    You can relate to the pain I feel. We're you ever 100% honest with your father? I wonder if I should be with my mom