Antecedent

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  1. Tupac is fine. Am I interested in him.. Well if I had a choice between a well made hour long documentary about his life or spending an hour listening to his music I'd pick his music, so I guess I'm not interested in the life and times of him. Have you ever been in a hot air baloon?
  2. False The person below me uses a phone with a cracked screen.
  3. Vaguely amused at how incredibly immoral the video game BF is playing is. Random mayhem is all well and good but this game teaches people that torture of possibly innocent people is okay in the name of the greater good, that might be something worth discussing.. but they just present it as fact, as if every reasonable person in the world agrees. Generally I feel like crap but not in this moment. That's what matters. Gotta be more like.. which philosopher was that... Seneca?
  4. posted in wrong thread! sorry!
  5. I think I'm depressed because: I'm grumpy have much less energy than before often irritable thinking a lot about self-harm crying often (sometimes feel like it but don't) I don't have motivation to do things I used to do and enjoy everything seems pointless i worry about things a lot i seem to have much less of all the positive emotions, love, joy, happiness, hope, excitement, anticipation.. all those and more of the negative emotions like sadness, misery, hatred, anger I deeply despise myself I waste entire weekends in bed then of course feel even worse for the very fact I've done so And this has been going on about 3 and a half years, with occasional breaks of maybe a week or so. Although in the last 3 years there were times when I managed to feel hope or motivation to do things to dig myself out of the rut. Those times haven't lasted. I'll occasionally get very excited and motivated by something for a few hours and then I'm back to this.
  6. Are you going by typical XX weight? Remember that for men of the same height a higher weight is expected and essential for health. How about eating more (minus purge), enough to make doctors happy, but exercising more too (not so much that doctors worry). Healthy amounts of exercise increases testosterone levels (regardless of chromosomes). This
  7. Thinking about it is calming so it's addictive. I am guessing that thinking about cutting or violent forms of death lower my blood pressure in the same way cutting has been shown to in studies, but without that pesky risk of gangrene. I think the thoughts must be coming for this reason, because I think about killing myself in very violent ways, where as in reality if I was ever to do it I would obviously try to do it as peacefully and painlessly as possible, but that's not what I think about, in fact thinking about that has the opposite effect, it is frightening because it's real.
  8. I have to take mental health days so to compensate I don't ever call in sick for anything fun.. but everyone at work does, so it is surely normal.
  9. Dog's saliva is naturally anti-septic. If you were going to get in any way sick from this, it would have happened already. What you did caused harm or suffering to no one, including you. I am not religious, it sounds like you have a nice priest and you can trust him to tell you how to deal with this from a religious perspective. If you feel guilty about something that caused harm that is really hard psychologically, because you can repent but you can't undo the harm, but you didn't do any harm. This doesn't say anything whatsoever about who you are as a person. If anything it will make you a better person, people who have never felt shame in their lives can be very very unsympathetic to other people who make mistakes. Give it this significance. When you see someone publicly shamed you will always remember that all of us, all of us have secret shames. Every time this intrusive thought comes into your head, take it as a reminder to always be forgiving of other people who are sorry for something they will never do again. If you can turn it into something positive and meaningful in this way I hope it will take the pain of it away for you. You have suffered enough with it. [wupps.. this is 2 years old.. goes to show the power of a good title]
  10. Transference is a normal part of the process, right? But what if it goes from being a crush to you falling in love with him, wouldn't that be a pain? I'd much rather talk to women for that reason... who am I kidding.. I should only talk to the elderly... I can fall in love with any intelligent person under 70.
  11. Well if you are here you are probably interested in psychology so you have probably read at least some studies on rats. Sometimes those rats are bought in, bred especially to be lab rats, but sometimes they come from pet stores. Your rat was MUCH MUCH MUCH happier with you than she would have been as a lab rat (she also lived longer). As for her odd nocturnal behaviour, night is when rats are most active, she was probably playing/frolicking. Some people buy rats in pet shops to feed to their other carnivorous pets. You RESCUED her. Okay, did she live out her life in the rat-equivalant of blissful Disneyland heavenly chocolate nirvana, maybe not. But did you give her a much much happier life than most rats can expect? Yes.
  12. I don't think it's asking for a lot. I think you are worth it! See what happens. Whatever happens and however uncomfortable it is for a while, at least you have learned something important about yourself through this experience. If it doesn't work out with this guy in the long run then next time you can be monogamous from the start if that's what you want.
  13. This board is really aimed at first hand experience, it is hard to help you have any idea about someone else's psychology. Anyway, did an ordinary doctor diagnose him with depression, or a proper psychiatrist? It sounds like he might have more than depression, and so treatment for depression alone isn't helping? A lot of antidepressants take a month to start working, I wonder if he wasn't expecting them to work faster. The thing is you can't be responsible for someone else's mental health, that is really really hard even for trained professionals. So don't try to carry all this burden by yourself. And if we try to help you by proxy help him by proxy how can we be sure of helping? The safest thing to do is to try talking to a mind-doctor rather than a body-doctor, whether it is talk therapy or a psychiatrist who specialises in diagnosis and prescriptions. But that is the advice I would give him.. I don't know if it is good advice to say to you to say to him or not, he's not the one asking for help, maybe he doesn't want any...
  14. I'd love to try them but I can't get them without an ADD dx, which I can't get for the reasons mentioned above, whereas they give out antidepressants like candy. Ido, DSM 5 still has "Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms present prior to age 12 years" The infuriating thing is I remember that every single report I had as a child did contain something along the lines of "tends to drift" or "would work better with more concentration" but I haven't got any of them. Thanks so much for the advice and the stories guys. I could try wellbutrin (bupropion)... well there are so many! I just need to pick one, find out what it's called here.. and then remember its name for long enough to ask the doctor for it
  15. Where did you get a copy of my college notes?