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Antecedent

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  1. Incels are Garbage.

    They are people who desperately need therapy. They think being single means you either have to hate yourself or hate the opposite sex. Neither of those things are true. There already have been headlines Cerberus, incels have a habit of going out and murdering women. Misogyny in general is the only thing almost all mass murderers have in common. Religion, political views, social status, mental illness, intelligence, these things do not correlate with murder or mass murder. Misogyny does.
  2. If a student came to me explaining they had a health problem that meant they had to take more bathroom breaks than they would like, I would be happy to let them record the lecture. Is there any way you could do this? I am so sorry you are going through this, you are so tough, I really admire how hard you are trying.
  3. Medication for fatigue?

    I'd normally say try an SAD lamp but they can cause manic episodes if you've bipolar. They did say though that if you wait until after midday (or the equivalent according to your schedule) it shouldn't cause a manic episode. I'd read more before taking the risk. Anyway for anyone reading this who doesn't have bipolar these are proven to work for most people, you sit in front of it for 15 minutes every morning and read a book or knit or draw a picture or eat breakfast or meditate or something. The good ones are officially recognised as a medical device and tax free in a lot of countries.
  4. Oversleeping, disorder?

    Yeah I read in a magazine there are "long sleepers" and "short sleepers" so while we all read that everyone should get 8 hours a day, some people need 10+ to feel refreshed and some lucky people only need 4! I've always been a long sleeper, I could sleep 12 hours easily, but I usually wake up after 9 to go to the bathroom and make myself get up so I won't keep going. I wilil yawn a lot with 8 hours sleep and be a ball of stress and grumpiness with 7.
  5. Definitely sounds to me like what the others said, your anxiety is playing itself out in your dreams. I know studies have found self-harm lowers blood pressure (so does self-care!), and I found the same thing happens to me just thinking about self harm. Maybe you are dreaming about suicide even though you are not suicidal because when you think about it or dream about it, it lowers your blood pressure and kicks in your parasympathetic nervous system? If this is true you can probably feel the difference, you'd be able to think about (not plan and not want, those are different things) the events in this dream and feel your shoulders loosening and yourself calming down. If that doesn't happen then I'm totally off the mark. If that sounds right then I would say you have nothing to worry about, personally. If you actually start to feel like you want to do these things, that's different. In the meantime it might be nice to find a new way to self soothe. Something nice, you deserve something nice
  6. I don't know, personally, I don't think the meaning of dream content is ever universal. I think it's about what it feels like to you. You don't know how your subconscious sees death, probably very differently to how your concious mind sees it. What are the dreams like, content wise? Do you die and go into sleep? Do you go to some kind of afterlife? Do you watch your own funeral? Do you fly?
  7. Yeah talking about sex can be really hard, especially if you come from a reserved background. Does the gender of your therapist make it harder? Are they open to doing some email therapy with you, do you think that might help?
  8. I'm so sorry to read this. You must feel awful for your brother. "The worst thing that ever happened to me, happened to someone else". There's nothing worse than seeing a loved one suffer or thinking that they might suffer in the future. But hang on, you don't know that he has schizophrenia, yet, and if he does, you don't know yet that it is going to be a problem, or a significant problem for him.( I lived with a girl who heard voices but all they ever said was "you are doing a good job! Keep it up!" etc. ) You don't know yet how this is going to affect his potential, and no matter what, he has something you didn't have: he has an older sibling who's been through it and can support him!
  9. Sounds like someone who has a focus on positive psychology might be good for you at the moment? I'd rather have a expensive short course in CBT or Positive Psychology than a long drawn out affordable course of therapy that I don't feel is getting me anywhere in the end. She is probably making the appointments further apart because she feels you don't need her, everyone but positive psychologists often have "feel fine" as their aim, while when we finally feel fine we want to start feeling GOOD . She might be better for people who are in darker times
  10. Some languages are much harder than others to learn, I don't think you should feel annoyed with yourself about not being fluent yet. It's very very hard to take care of a relationship when you are depressed, and the fact you have no friends means there is extra pressure on your relationship, as you need it for everything. My heart goes out to you
  11. You've just moved somewhere where you don't speak the language, I don't think that this is any reflection on you. You have quite the obstacle! Friends are really important for happiness, relationships in general are. I can see why you think there might be a large situational element to this depression! When I was living abroad I went to a language school that had an language exchange partner thing set up, they had loads of people learning English who put down their names and they mostly expected to end up practising with another student. So everybody wanted me, a native (my biggest achievement in life: being born to an English speaking couple ;)) . The teacher sat me down with about 5 forms from people she thought I'd like, and I chose two. A woman my own age, because she was studying psychology, and an older lady.. I can't remember why I picked her.. anyway I got on great with both of them. People with upper intermediate / B2 level and above are well able to talk enough to make friends, even intermediate/ B1 is fine if you are kindred spirits. Anyway that was ideal, but there might be some way for you to do something similar, what about this site. https://www.conversationexchange.com/ People basically post personal ads except they just want a language partner, not romance. You can find someone you are compatible with maybe, and who speaks enough English to actually be a friend. I'll keep thinking about it, gotta go have dinner now.
  12. I'm not planning kids and all my friends are already onto their second, I'm only 31 but I guess in my country we start younger! I hear what you are saying, it is really scary. I also worry a lot about my parents, I'll be so sad to lose them, I love them both so much. It really sucks. All I can do is enjoy the time I have with them now and try notto dwell on that day. Every decade has its own crisis, I thought after the teenage years were over it would be clear sailing! Is there something you can do to meet people who have interests other than their offspring? To make new connections? I know the older you get the harder it is, but there are always people who for one reason or another are looking for new connections, maybe they are recently divorced, they just moved, they switched jobs and left all their friends in the old one, they have grown apart from their friends, their friends are baby-obsessed etc. Let's see.. a night course in something where you have to talk to the other people, like counselling, a language etc. A book club A group that shares buses and goes out places to draw, or paint, or hike, or hill walk A skeptic group (they meet and basically talk about why they think horoscopes are silly for an hour... ha ha!) A humanist group if you're atheist or a church / religious group if you're religious Even group therapy might be great, has anyone here made friends in group?.. I haven't done official group therapy but I'm in something similar now and I am finding when you share intimate information you bond really quickly... I can imagine cults manipulate that.. I'm not in a cult! I can imagine myself becoming completely addicted to group therapy in the future, it's that or join a cult. Volunteering in something that involves working with other people and talking to them (this is most volunteer work, but not all ) I like kids, most of my babied friends live in other cities (I've moved around a lot) but I like kids so babysitting would be a way I could have a part in their lives once the kids got older. So that could be an option if you like kids. Once the kids are older they will want breaks too, friends could come over for DVD nights to your house as a nice child free safe-haven! No jelly on the remote! If you like animals, pets can really really help with the feeling of loneliness too. Anyway, maybe all my ideas were useless but I hope you find what you are looking for.
  13. I'm trying to make myself journal when i'm doing ok and not just when I'm doing awful, so far it's been good. I'm trying to do positive psychology exercises, they seem incredibly fluffy and like something you get in a tween magazine, but when you start doing them they can be really enjoyable and as profound or as light-hearted as you want
  14. You can slow it down a bit with a banana every day, for people in their twenties I've seen this reverse it! I can't remember what it is, but even hereditary grey can be caused by you (and your predecessors) needing more of a specific nutrient that you can get from bananas (no, not potassium) I've heard people say cod liver oil makes their hair grow thicker, but anyway it has loads of health benefits so it would be worth a try. The cheapest way to get it is in a bottle rather than capsules, just have a glass of water ready or the feeling of the oil in your throat will make you gag, don't even take a breath before gulping down the water. If you get a mild fishy burp that's ok, if you get a lot of burps and they taste awful throw it out and don't buy from that company again.
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