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About shimmeree

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  • Birthday 01/18/1979

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  1. Epic panic attack

    Feeling a horrible darkness right now.
  2. Epic panic attack

    All I can do is drink. Pdoc won't prescribe benzos because of my addictive history. Sucks.
  3. My pdoc won't prescribe me benzos because he considers them band-aids that may even increase anxiety. I take gabapentin 3 times a day. 1200 mgs at a time. It helps a ton, but I still suffer occasional panic.
  4. Yesterday I had therapy at 4:30, but the panic started around noon. Palpitations, sweating, and major tremors. I have essential tremor anyway, but it was awful. Luckily the drive to my tdoc is only a few blocks. I couldn't stop shaking during the session without holding my body tight. I don't know exactly what I'm fighting right now, but I know something is coming.
  5. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Not too shabby. Better than yesterday. 4 hour long panic attack before therapy.
  6. I understand this feeling.
  7. Almost 5 a.m.  Can't sleep.  Honey is snoring in the other room.  I slept with him until he started elbowing me in his sleep.  

    I'm listening to my digestive tract.  Kinda funny noises.  

    I'm almost finished with a book I like, so I'm dragging out getting to the end.  

    Possible Ketamine session today.  Light dose, and drawing.  Seeing pdoc next Thursday for a full IM dose session.  

  8. mine

    Why can't I fucking delete these pics??!!
  9. Reciting these words over and over in my brain:






  10. Questions Thread

    Unless it is raining, windows open. I need fresh air. And there's claustrophobia. I live in a temperate place, so open usually works. Do you like the sounds of birds, or do they annoy?
  11. whatever the weather

    After days and days of cold rain, the sun just came out and the skies cleared. It's beautiful outside!....and I just want to stay in.
  12. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Mixed up after tough therapy session. Just had a big cry while vacuuming.