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About WinterRosie

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    Staring down the spoils of war

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    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
  1. It makes sense. Dissociation is a spectrum disorder, though. Sometimes people have these experiences and they don't have DID. So it's not fate or anything. But yeah, I get it. I have lots of different handwritings. And I get the self-fighting and self-acrimony. I never really realized how spaced out I was until after I had a name for it, though. Sometimes for decision-making I find it helpful to do a poll. Just sort of think/project around "I want [x]. Any opinions?" And then, if you're curious, you can ask for reasons behind the decision.
  2. I make lists. I make lists of lists. In fact, I have a whole book, complete with a table of contents, that's just a book of lists. It's the only way that I know how to 'think' in a coherent way; I need to be able to remind myself of how I got to where I currently am. When I realized that I was really struggling in this area I started trying to incorporate the various life skills that are taught to people with short-term memory loss following a TBI (traumatic brain injury). They are a lot easier now that smartphones are commonplace. But I found them really helpful for basic living and coping skills.
  3. I got frustrated and was feeling unheard one day and said "Fine then. I'll just google 'should I listen to the voices in my head?' and do whatever say."
  4. A good way to get the "horse fix" is to start volunteering or otherwise spending time at a barn. It's absolutely possible to be around animals (particularly large ones) without owning them!
  5. Your Mileage May Vary. As in, it's possible that you may experience (a) different result(s).
  6. My therapist is a psychologist; the two are not mutually exclusive. Other people (doctors and social workers) can also be therapists. The main difference will be what their theoretical orientation is. The main key of therapy though, more so than theoretical orientation, is whether or not you have a connection with them. Also, I'm moving this to the therapy section.
  7. I think that everyone sort of has to come up with their own for it to work. I think that it's a part of the process. It made me feel very lost, too. I wish that I had more guidance on this.
  8. I suspect that fighting it all at once might be too overwhelming. Maybe it's better to work with your doctor on how to fight it together.
  9. I don't know of any templates for anyone that isn't a child. That's because there are just so many different ways that people can be traumatized. You could use a child's one to start, or you could create your own by using one for a younger person as a springboard. I just made my own since nothing would apply to what I've gone through.
  10. There are places like Seven Cups of Tea but I know that that's not exactly what you're looking for.
  11. Hi, welcome to crazyboards! I have a dissociative disorder as well; you're certainly not the only one. You might want to check out the anxiety boards, or dissociation boards, for starters. We also have one dedicated to students which you may find helpful, if only to vent about how school sucks sometimes (or, my experience with school has always sucked). Please know that if you have any questions, comments, concerns, inquiries, etc that you're more than welcome to PM the staff member of your choice. Looking forward to seeing your posts around
  12. I regularly have meltdowns to my advocate about my being a burden to them; it pretty much happens every time I go to them. However, they make a good point - the note that they can write in two minutes takes me around three days of agony, so it's way less of a burden on them than I tend to think that it is.
  13. While I have one, I didn't hire them. I also doubt that I could get a caseworker (I've not looked into what it would take to qualify) but I cannot do medical things on my own; I'm entirely incapable. My advocate writes notes for me when I think that I'm brave enough to go to the doctor on my own (I'm not, really) so that I can just say "I have a note!" and then it's all there. Sometimes I don't even trust myself with that and then my advocate comes with me. I went with a member of my family that I trust. If you have a friend that you trust you could also ask them. I had to sign a disclosure form with my doctor allowing my family member to be my advocate. The main issue that I run up against is that my doctor's office is rather disorganized and keeps not finding that form. This means that we have to go in sometimes when a phone call would have sufficed. The nice thing about advocates is that they don't need to be professionals. Just someone that is trusted. I am not sure that I could have any more success with any other professional, since I think that that's a part of what I struggle with.
  14. Thanks for sharing this with us!
  15. Right. My challenge is that the aftereffects are inextricably tangled up with years of torture. Some of that torture almost killed me, and some of it didn't, but it all affected me and continues to do so. I can't tease them apart the way that someone can when it's one of their only traumatic events. It makes sense in the context of having limited trauma that it would be wildly traumatizing. I get that. I just don't experience that myself.