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WinterRosie

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About WinterRosie

  • Rank
    Staring down the spoils of war

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  • Website URL
    https://makestuffdothings.wordpress.com/

Profile Information

  • Gender
    non-binary
  • Location
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
  1. Trying to find forum

    You have every right to be angry at a parent who couldn't get it together to see you for who you are.
  2. Trying to find forum

    It makes sense that you'd feel more angry than anything else. You can vent here. I wish I knew of more options for you.
  3. Caregiving

    I was my grandmother's caregiver as well. There definitely came to a point where I couldn't manage the both of us. You're not giving up on her, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Giving up on her would look like leaving her alone, rather than ensuring that her care needs were met, and by recognizing your limits and working out an alternative you're still caring for her. I'm not sure if where you live has respite care, but it can also be very helpful in case you have to go away again.
  4. Anyone else just saying fuck it?

    Firstly, you're likely to get far more people responding to your link if you put it in your signature and post regularly. That way it gets more exposure, as opposed to a post that gets pushed down and then no one sees it. Secondly, it makes complete sense that SI makes you happy. That's why a lot of us do it. After all, the body's response to pain is to respond with its painkilling system that work the same way that opioids do (which is why opioids feel good - they are taking advantage of a pathway that already exists in our bodies). But no, we're not going to provide you with a cut-buddy, since we're harm reduction oriented and the purpose here is to reduce the harm, not find people to do the harm with. We also have a BPD board, if you want to talk about the whole rest of it at any point.
  5. Anxiety/Derealization

    Also, since we went in this direction, moving this to the dissociation board.
  6. Anxiety/Derealization

    Anxiety can absolutely cause dissociation. For me, the easiest way to avoid dissociating is to try to manage the triggers that cause it (be it anxiety, or depression, or whatever). Once I've dissociated I'm basically done for the day (or even the next few days) as it takes me at least a few hours to notice that I've left my brain behind. I'm not really sure what you mean by "what does it mean to you?" I don't find it spiritual, if that's what you're getting at. For me it just means that I'm stressed, or scared, or vulnerable, or triggered, or have something else going on. You could cope with it by grounding, if you can find a grounding method that works for you (this takes some trial and error). I imagine that you could cope with it by taking a rescue med for the anxiety if you have one, too. Meds seem to act faster, and they don't require months of trial and error and practice. Hard to remember to be skillful in the moment, sometimes.
  7. There is no one here whose age matches poor body - at most we're four years younger. We're okay with it most of the time. We're likely a more extreme example of what you're talking about, though. It's pretty common for childhood trauma to make development go all weird. Trauma makes things get "stuck" at that age but life keeps going so you adapt as best you can around it. So the aspects of you that were affected by the trauma didn't get to develop. That's how things go. It doesn't mean that they can't get unstuck, although that tends to require therapy.
  8. positive affirmations?

    I struggle with them. I can do alright with things like "I hate myself less than I hate going to Walmart" but that's not really a positive affirmation. Like the OP, though, I tend towards also using positive self-talk for calming or motivational purposes. But I can never think of what to say in advance, in those instances. Instead, then I'm just using a DBT skill called "cheerleading" (where you are your own cheerleader, essentially).
  9. I definitely also spent a lot of time on reddit, and on sites like this one, when I didn't trust myself to leave my immediate environment, too.
  10. Going to be getting this tattooed on my thigh tomorrow.

    Tattoo.jpg

    1. echolocation

      echolocation

      this is so beautiful!

  11. Is this dissociating?

    Dissociation can be caused by depression or anxiety - both of which could be stemming from your BP (bipolar). If that's the case then treating the underlying depression or anxiety can help to alleviate the dissociation. On its own, dissociation isn't treated by meds. You can go to therapy to learn how to ground yourself through it so that you don't float away, but that's about it.
  12. Part of it is time. I don't crave as much as I used to. When it happens, I find distractions helpful. I used to play a lot of intensive (intense?) video games. Or I'd eat things just to feel something else. Or I'd immerse myself in something, like going swimming. Having friends can be helpful, too, because they can be distracting. Good for you for getting past the physical withdrawal!! That part is huge! You're doing really well.
  13. PTSD nightmares

    I have a weighted blanket to help me sleep.
  14. memories

    I also sometimes use trashy mags from the grocery store for this purpose. My kobo fits in a ziplock bag and I can still turn pages that way so I'd maybe try that.
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