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Found 39 results

  1. hello, new here. i found the board by googling two of my meds interactions. went to my psych today and got a new med... read about two of my meds interaction and lowkey i'm terrified lol. list of all drugs/substances i take once a day, all in the morning: 300mg bupropion qd 400mg lamictal qd 10mg generic zyrtec "women's" multivitamin 5000mg biotin birth control pill as needed: 30mg zenzedi OR adderall. i only take half at a time, and not every day, though i do most days 5mg ambien (take ~5x a week) my depression has been terrible for the last year -- tbh since the election. dropped out of Uni fall semester last year and haven't been since. i have been lazy, 100000% unmotivated, reclusive, gained 30lbs in less than 2 years etc etc. i don't want to leave the house to see my friends and family because i am embarrassed about my weight gain (also because of the reclusiveness i mentioned). after talking with my psych, she suggested adding 5mg Trintellix (Brintellix?). she mentioned that the most common side effects were nausea, diarrhea etc etc. she said that if it seemed to be helping i could lower my wellbutrin dose and perhaps stop taking it entirely (trintellix being its replacement). after leaving her office i did what any other millennial would do and googled the medication. there is a LOT of information about the possibility of serotonin syndrome being a side effect - i read somewhere 15%???? that seems low but like google it - it sounds terrifying. combining wellbutrin + trintellix has a "MAJOR" interaction per drugs.com, which states that the risks outweigh the benefits when combined. i immediately left my psych a message telling her basically what i said but less crazy (pfff lol) sounding. she called back and said that she's never seen that, it's very rare, she's met only one prescriber who reported it in a patient, and it's usually at higher doses. i feel a little better but still a bit nervous. not really sure what i'm expecting to get from this post but i'm so annoyed with taking a millions meds and i keep seeing deaths reported by combined meds, often including (not limited to) adderall and ambien. like i'm in my early 30s, i don't want to die in my sleep.... anyway, hi!
  2. Psych Dx: treatment resistant depression (major + persistent), generalized anxiety, adhd Psych Rx: bupropion 450 qd, buspirone 15 bid, adderall 20 am 10pm, clonazepam .5 prn Other Dx: celiac, gerd, vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis, oab, seasonal allergies, idiopathic chronic nausea, neuropathy, myalgia, & arthralgia Other Rx: myrbetriq 50 qd, pantoprozole 20 bid, topical estrogen qd, topical clobetasol prn, topical lidocaine prn OTC: mucinex 12-hour bid, vitamin D3 qd, fish oil qd, probiotic qd, zyrtec qd, nasacort qd, saline spray bid, melatonin prn Previous Psych Rx: seroquel, depakote, lamictal, remeron, trazadone, lithium, ambien, sonata, zyprexa, lexapro, prozac, temazepan, xanax, rozerem So I've clearly been on a lot of meds over the years (since first being put on seroquel in early 2013) partially because I was initially misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I've been on my current cocktail for quite awhile, and I had been doing pretty well with my depression but it's gotten significantly worse lately due to some life events + unyielding chronic pain that has been getting worse for the last two years. For the neuropathy I tried gabapentin for several months and it did absolutely nothing. I've been suggested Lyrica (which even with my good insurance is still $100 a month or $200 for 3 months with a mail order pharmacy which is a lot more than I can reasonably afford) and Cymbalta. Does anyone with depression and/or neuropathy have any experience with taking Cymbalta and Wellbutrin together? The two SSRIs I've taken (lexapro & prozac) in the past both gave me severe gastrointestinal side effects and I wasn't able to stay on them long enough to see if they even helped. It would be great to have a cheap, generic drug improve my nerve pain and depression, but I'm nervous about trying another SSRI. I'm also fairly uncomfortable with the idea of going off bupropion, bc it's been pretty damn effective if not adequately so. Because when I wasn't on bupropion I was a MESS and I'm afraid of going back to that level of depressed. Also curious if anyone has any success with using any med, Cymbalta or otherwise, as an adjunct treatment for depression? I have recently gotten back to therapy so I'm hoping that will help some but it's hard to follow through on anything from my therapist (or from my physical therapists, doing anything besides going to work & sleeping) bc of executive dysfunction, constant fatigue, pretty severe anhedonia, general feeling of emptiness.
  3. Hello, all. I'm new to this site. I've been working with a pdoc for the past 3 to 4 years and, more recently, a therapist, due to what I personally classify as treatment resistant MDD. I'm in my mid-forties. Throughout this time, my pdoc has tried multiple "cocktail" combinations of medications. Some combinations work for a while, but it's difficult to become excited when I'm in a good period because I know the bottom can, and likely will, drop out from under my feet again. I'm curious whether anyone has had any success with a similar pharmaceutical lineup like mine. I'm also hoping someone might have tips on outrunning the black dog for longer than a few months at a time. I trust my pdoc, but I'm wondering if I should get a second opinion. Unfortunately, I live in an area where there are not many pdocs from which to choose. Some things to know: I have sleep apnea. For most of my adult life, I've fought drowsiness during the day no matter how much sleep I get. I've had multiple CPAP titrations, but they never seem to do much for the daytime sleepiness. About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with ADD. Current medicinal lineup: Adderall (15 mg x 2 per day) Lamictal (75 mg x 2 per day) Xanax (0.5 mg x 3 per day) Buspar (15 mg x 4 per day) Trintellix (20 mg x 1 per day) Made me nauseated when I took it during the day, so my pdoc had me start taking it at bedtime, which made all the difference. Starting today, replacing Latuda with Vraylar (1.5 mg x 1 per day) Previously tried the following: Paxil (40 mg x 1 per day) I started this for social anxiety nearly 20 years ago and was taken off of it around 6 months ago. Going off of this after so long was a terrible experience, but those effects have subsided. Prozac Wellbutrin (150 mg x 1 per day) Latuda (20 mg x 1 per day) Seroquel (25 mg x 1 per day) Slept like a baby on this, but it made the daytime drowsiness worse. Rexulti Experienced akathisia with this one. Abilify Also experienced akathisia on this. Viibryd Had stomach cramps I'm also using the following supplements: Omega-3 Vitamin D Vitamin B6, Magnesium, Zinc capsule Ashwaganda/Rhodiola
  4. Does anyone else find that the days you take your stimulant, you sleep like baby at night and wake up refreshed? I do! I'm so happy that I am finally getting restful and conistent sleep with the help of Adderall. I take 10mg IR once in the morning and sometimes I take a second dose around lunch or dinner. I was reading good article abut it. Let me get the link. It's from Tuck.com. If it's accurate information, it seems very informative. https://www.tuck.com/stimulants-and-sleep/
  5. Hello, new here. I know we're supposed to go to our doctors but I was hoping to hear other people's personal experiences and if they know more about this than me. I'll cut to the chase - I'm prescribed adderall and have been on it for a long time. I normally take it and go about my day, but one side effect that I can't find any information on is irking me: after I take it, I feel as if people around me are upset with me, and I often feel a sense of guilt for no particular reason. For example, I can be watching tv and feel the urge to make sure everyone else in the room is not in a bad mood, or upset at me. Can anyone shed any light on this issue? Or is it just a me thing? Thanks for reading. Looking foward to replies.
  6. Hi all, i am prescribed 30mg Adderall XR TID and 10mg IR PRN. I always take one of my 30mg XR in the morning, an hour before I need to wake up. Then I go back to sleep and somewhere within 45 min to 1.5 hours, the adderall gets me up. (I have a hard time getting up in the AM). Anyone else do this or am I weird? Lol
  7. Meds?

    Hi everyone, I have had a mood disorder dx since I was 14. Currently 24 and dx changed to BP 2. Haven't taken meds seriously until I was 22 or so. Was doing relatively well on Latuda 40 and lamictal 200 until I decided I didn't need medication about a year ago. For the past 8 months I have been back on lamictal and latuda ranging from 100-300 and 80-20 respectively. I feel it has made no difference in my agitated and depressed mood so my pdoc added 900 lithium 3 weeks ago. Haven't noticed a difference except slightly less agitation. So I just started 1350 on the lithium. In conclusion, latuda 20, lamictal 300, and lithium 1350 don't seem to be helping. Why is my bipolar so resistant?! Anyone else have similar experience with these meds not working? What worked for you ?My pdoc said he will add the Emsam patch once I'm stable for depression..
  8. Hi guys, I saw a new pdoc recently, and I related to him how I frequently sleep for 20-50 hours at a time because of depression, but he thinks there may be more than just "bipolar depression" causing my body to sleep continuously without interruption for such absurd amounts of time. He recommended the potentiality of stimulants - Adderall, Provigil, Nuvigil. I have absolutely no experience with stimulants! All my meds have always been downers. I have friends who take Adderall and they believe it helps with their depression and bad thoughts. So I got some (haven't seen my regular pdoc yet) and tried it and it works well. But I have an extremely addictive personality, and I'm concerned that me jacking Adderall every day could lead down a bad road, which is why I'm so curious about other opportunities, such as Provigil or Nuvigil. I don't know how the latter two work, but the Adderall as you know is a pure amphetamine mixture, and the kind I've been taking recently is non-time-released, so it gives me a nice kick and puts me into a good mood and I stay out of bed and have actually been having some great days lately (highly unusual for me). But the addiction potential is definitely there, hence the Provigil or Nuvigil options. They're supposed to be much less addictive Will these two drugs give me the KICK that I need in my brain, to stimulate me in a good and fast way like Adderall? My research tells me that the mechanism of action is unknown. But they do stimulate the brain, not just in the same way as Adderall? Although if I recall correctly, in 2012 Provigil is now the official drug of fighter bomber pilots. Also, is it common for someone with my conditions and meds (see signature) to be taking stimulants? Thanks greatly in advance! I'm seeing my regular pdoc first to run all this by him, but I want your expert opinions and experiences so I can research all that I can before I see him. troop
  9. Hi guys, I saw a new pdoc today, and related to him how I frequently sleep for 20-50 hours at a time, and he recommended Adderall as a possibility to help stimulate me. I spoke with a friend and she says that Adderall helped with her depression greatly because it increased her productivity, which in turn helped her to feel good. She also said the increased focus allowed her to block out her negative thinking ... staying busy I guess. Your thoughts? troop
  10. Has anyone ever had any experience with this mixture? I can find info about any two of those mixed together but not all three.... Any suggestions on something that might work to combine the depression and anxiety into one that mixes with Adderall well?
  11. So yeah, yesterday I visited a Psychiatrist for the first time in my fucking life, also got diagnosed with "Mild Bi-polar" as he put it, also I have always had a HUGE problem sleeping, usually get 2-4 hours a night(but I don't feel tired next day, only in the mornings) So he prescribed 100mg Seroquel mainly for sleeping and also to help with my "bi-polar". FUCK seroquel by the way, I felt like I woke up 3-4 times during the night, I also remember having a weird paralysis moment, like I was trying to scream while in my bed but I couldn't, couldn't move all that shit, some inception type dreams where I woke up, but I just woke up to another dream, etc. I am 100% used to NOT dreaming, might dream twice a year or so, that is it! I just took 50mg 10 minutes ago to see if it is any different, my pdoc told me to give seroquel 2 weeks of time and to only take 50mg if 100mg was too sedating etc. Was already diagnosed ADHD (Got diagnosed last month after being put in a mental hospital for a week and a half due to 18mg of Xanax, don't remember 4 days of my life, etc, etc) Got my Adderall refilled for the first time ever at least though, Adderall has worked wonders for my attention and motivation, also it calms me down a hell of a lot, stopped my twitching and leg bouncing as well, great drug, thanks adderall. Kinda weirded out being diagnosed Bi-Polar as I am NEVER depressed or Suicidal. I was suicidal ONCE and it was when I was on 18mg of Xanax, which was last month, besides that, I NEVER have suicidal ideation, so I am a bit weird with his diagnosis. In the hospital they thought the same thing, put me on a mood stabilizer, but it legit turned me into a fucking zombie, it was weird. I also was given 25mg of an SSRI called Zoloft, it hyped me the fuck out it felt like I was on Molly and some race-mix amphetamine, too much imo. Then they just diagnosed me with Severe ADD/ADHD and the possibility of Empathy problems. Like I don't have any lows or highs either, just a normal, pretty much all the time. I am very irritable(worsened due to adderall lol), logic over emotion type guy, generally pretty realistic about things, expect life to kick me in the balls but being able to overcome it. Is it due to my completely insane sleeping schedule (2-4 hours a night, but occasionally I will sleep 12+ hours, mainly during breaks/summer) God I just need some 3rd opinions here, what do you guys think?
  12. Hi. Been taking Adderall XR for ADHD for two years. It contributed to a hypomanic episode, but my pdoc was kind enough to work with me in recognition of how much I was suffering due to my concentration and low energy, and, after changing my diagnosis from MDD to bipolar 2, prescribed Latuda. Except for a depressive blip when he raised the Latuda dose, I have been mostly stable on Latuda, Brintellix and Adderall for two years, and the Adderall has helped me a lot, but a recently lowered dose of Latuda has me cycling. We raised the Latuda dose again, but while I'm waiting for it to kick in I've noticed that I've seemed in the past week to become super-sensitive to the Adderall and to caffeine, and sometimes become agitated a couple of hours after taking the Adderall. Taking a tiny bit of xanax has helped bring it down a notch, but obviously it seems not optimal to be having to take stimulants and benzos together. I'm hoping this passes soon as the Latuda restabilizes me, but I wonder if there are any of you with bipolar who take stimulants who have trouble with the stimulants when you're hypomanic and if you've found a way to work with this scenario. Do you not take your stimulant when you're hypomanic? Am I just on a weird combination of meds? The adderall has been so generally helpful that I hate to go off it permanently, but it is not agreeing with my this week. Oh course I'll also discuss it with my pdoc but I'm wondering about other people's experiences.
  13. I just started Adderall this week and I have a couple of questions. I have a prescription for 20mg XR and 10mg regular. I'm supposed to take XR in the morning and take half of a 10mg tab (so 5 mg) if I need it when that wears off. My biggest question is - how do I space these out? As I understand XR can last from 7 - 12 hours, which is a huge variation in timing. I feel it wearing off after like 6, but it seems to stay in my system for 10 or so. Around 6 hours I get hungry, grind my teeth, feel edgy, and find it harder and harder to focus. The first 6 hours is life - changing in how awesome it is, it really calms me and helps me focus on one thing at a time. I usually try to wait to take the second one until 9 or 10 hours in because I'm not sure how much I'm loading into my system otherwise. But at that point I've had several hours of not feeling functional. Or maybe this will change as I get used to it, or my dose isn't high enough? It sucks, it feels like I'm coming down off a drug (I mean, I guess I am). The second question is - It kicks my circulatory system into hyperdrive, and it's even worse if I'm anxious. I had to go to the dr's office the other day and my BP was like 150/90 when I usually hover around 120/70. My pulse was 108. I can feel my heart beating fast, which is concerning to me. I guess I'm curious if this too will go away or if it's alarming enough that I need to bring it up to my PDOC. Overall though, I'm really impressed with how it's impacting me. I kind of assumed it would feel like a huge dose of caffeine - lots of frantic energy - but it's really subtle and extremely calming. I can't multitask any more, but at the same time things are actually interesting. I used to get bored a lot so I would stop listening or paying attention. I think that means I really do have ADHD. I didn't know how much it was impacting me until I was able to actually focus on stuff.
  14. I have been taking generic bupropion for about more than 2 months starting at 100mg SR. I took 100mg SR once daily for a month, then started 150mg SR once daily for about 2 weeks before going up to 300mg SR daily (150mg SR x 2) one in the morning at 10 and the other at 6. I've been on the 300mg SR since. I never had the 'honeymoon' phase and I've gotten into the habit of sleeping in even later now.. till 11:30am-12:00pm. And I go to bed at 11:30 at night, sometimes later. I know I'm getting too much sleep and I feel like the bupropion is maybe making me tired. I've also been taking Lexapro 5mg every night to help counteract anxiety. I started it first but I felt it made me flat so I asked to go on bupropion. I feel like it isn't helping me with my mood lately.. just curious if it's a lost cause.. or if I should ask to switch generics (on Sandoz) or maybe add Abilify or something. Before taking these meds I had bad obsessive thoughts and paranoia about my boyfriend (stupid things that I shouldn't be thinking about) and depression. No motivation to do anything and nothing excites me.. still doesn't. I had a couple days where I took adderall once in awhile while on bupropion, of course I felt euphoria on it but very wired and then what's weird is I would feel a few hours of general happiness the next day. I thought it was the bupropion trying to work.. but since a few sporadic days of that I haven't had that feeling since. I used to be addicted to adderall 4 years ago for about 2 years (would take around 160mg a day till I ran out) and quit cold turkey. Also smoked 'spice' legal weed for 8 months, pretty sure that messed me up.. I thought Adderall could help me again but I ended up feeling the addiction coming back so I threw it away. Also to add, I've been taking Synthroid for my low thyroid since I was 18 (26 now) .1 mcg in the morning at 7am daily. Any insight would be great!
  15. I was just prescribed Adderall yesterday on top of all the other meds I take (Trileptal, Zoloft, Klonopin & Latuda). I've taken it in the past for recreational purposes at 30mgs per time. My current prescription is 10mg twice a day, but me being me I just HAD to get a buzz once or twice before taking it normally. I chewed 30mg last night and felt great -- the normal for that dosage. This morning I crushed up 30mg and went to toss it back, but I spilled a bit so I took one more 10mg pill straight up (just swallowed it with water) to try and get as close to 30mg as possible. So, I'm on somewhere between 30-40mg and the buzz is great, but my focus is a bit off. Kinda fuzzy. I took a couple 1mg klonopins to try and even things out, but I'm wondering if I feel fuzzy because I took more than usual or because I took it as soon as I woke up and my body isn't used to a jump start so early. I would appreciate not getting a bunch of replies about not using meds recreationally or about me being some kind of junky. I'm not -- I just wanted to experience that old feeling once or twice again. Also, I will add that I haven't taken my other meds (Trileptal, Zoloft & Latuda) yet today. Any helpful answers would be much appreciated.
  16. Short story - MDD d/x'd 3 years ago with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified - i.e. I restrict, but I'm not thin, I used to purge, but not too much). I also self-harm and have situational anxiety and chronic insomnia. Current meds: 50 mg Pristiq, 450 mg Wellbutrin XR, 2 mg Klonopin (1 at 5:30p, 1 at 8:30p, occasionally 1 as needed), and 10mg Ambien. I've been on the klonopin/ambien combo for a long time and it works pretty well for my sleep. I've been through most of the SSRIs with limited success or horrible side effects, only to find out via a recent GeneSight test that I don't have the whatever/enzymes to process SSRIs (and SNRIs) correctly. Only Pristiq and Fetzima are in the "green column" for me. Meds I've tried - Celexa (worked for a while and then nada), Lexapro (similar), Zoloft (horrible reactions), Paxil (little effect), Brintellix (not enough and bad side effects), Wellbutrin solo (worked for awhile, but then became not enough), Abilify (gained 20 lbs in one month with little effect), Risperadol (no impact), and I'm sure other combos I can't think of. We went up to 100mg of Pristiq but I felt like I was in a fugue and would lose all sense of time, so we backed it down. I'd like to go up to 600 on my Wellbutrin as it works well for me but my pdoc won't even though I've been purge-free for 13 months. My eating disorder is ok - my weight is stabilized and I'm not restricting or binging. I'm in therapy regularly and see my nutritionist every other week. But I am exhausted all of the time. It is difficult for me to get out of bed, it's impossible for me to do anything. I have no memory, and it is a struggle for me to think, let alone work (I'm a professor). With the Vyvanse, I'm sometimes able to get out of bed. I can feel my brain "knit" together and kick on, and even have started writing again. I still can't bring myself to get things done or to exercise or even get outside unless I must. The problem with the Vyvanse is that it wears off pretty quickly for me. If I take a dose at 6:30a, by 11:30p I'm scattered, can't think straight, and feel lost. I take a second dose at noon but it barely holds me to 4. Then my brain is gone. I am still exhausted, and then I can't really think at all in the late afternoon/evening. I'm completely distracted. I have a call with my pdoc this week and I'm considering asking her to switch the vyvanse to adderall because it has an XR, and the up and down with vyvanse is shitty. I'm really reluctant to switch from the Pristiq since the worst of my depressive symptoms (hopelessness, sadness, flatness, isolation) are better. I like that the vyvanse cuts the cravings so I don't turn to sugar to try to help with the lack of energy because that worsens my ED. I can't take anything that will cause weight gain, or anything that increases appetite. I'm on a meal plan, I'm not losing weight, but I can't take aggravating my ED on top of the shit I'm dealing with. Does Adderall XL last longer for depression-related ADD symptoms? Does it cause jitters or increased hunger? Anyone use it as an add-on to antidepressants?
  17. Hello, I am just wondering if anyone else has had these side effects from Adderall, my eyelashes are so painful to the touch, I drink water throughout the day and I don't know why my eyes are bothering me so much, does anyone know of any home remedies or anything over-the-counter that could help me? Thank you
  18. My insurance pooped out and it's going to be another day or so before I can fill my dexedrine prescription. I'm entirely out. In the past, when I've tried to take a break, I've experienced crushing depression, even after a day. I've read it can start after 12 hours, and I took my last dose around noon today. Hopefully will be able to pick up more tomorrow afternoon, but I'm worried that I will go way down and not even be able to leave the house to get to the pharmacy (agoraphobia/depression). So I've taken the advice I've read online: tyrosine every two hours, continuation of clonazepam, and magnesium/b/c. Wondering if I can (or should) combine it with one of the other many drugs I have around the house that I've previously taken: Topamax (saw clinical study showing that has been shown effective in preventing relapse in meth addicts) Olanzapine Cymbalta/duloxetine (saw some doctors prescribe for this purpose) An increase of the celexa I currently take Trazadone (again, saw that is recommended) Does anyone know whether this would be advisable, on a very short-term basis, given the other meds I take (hopefully included in my signature). Would really appreciate any help to head off crippling depression tomorrow (or even longer, depending on how long my damn insurance company takes to get it together). Thanks.
  19. Please help me figure out the right Med combo.. Since starting some of these meds I feel fear not my usual anxiety just flat out fear over nothing. I also have a nauseas stomach EVERY day. I feel stuck and lost since I'm no doc but maybe somebody will know what to do! I am desperately trying to find a medication that completely cures my anxiety like Xanax but still gives me focus and energy like Adderall I take both, but adderall heightens my anxiety at times, makes me cry sometimes for no apparent reason and occasionally I'm told makes me testy. It gives me focus and energy.. The Xanax alone makes me very calm, collected, and FINALLY quiets my fast moving thoughts and anxiety however it gives me absolutely zero energy or motivation. I am perscribed daily: 40mg of Paxil aka Peroxotine (I take at night) 70mg Adderall daily (30mg extened release /40mg amphetone salt tabs) 50mg Trazadone (nightly) UNPERSCRIBED MEDICATION Hydrocodone either 7.5mg or 10mg roughly 6 a day for knee and back pain I suffer with debilitating anxiety over seemingly tedious tasks.. Highly unmotivated feel almost frozen sometimes. so I take roughly 4/5 .25mg Xanax a day when possible or 4/5 1 mg Ada van throughout the day as well as night. Xanax and adderall work well I guess but I really feel like its Mesing up my stomach somehow. Lastly I've heard a lot of things about Paxil is it dangerous? I have no sex drive upset stomachs etc please help!!
  20. Hello, Could someone please honestly tell me because I can't trust myself because I'm a recovering drug addict. (Id like to put a disclaimer right here that I don't follow 12-step dogma so please don't start preaching that even though it does work for many) anyways, new diagnosis I'm a 33-year-old male finally told that I have a little bit of aspbergers disorder which is now technically on the autism spectrum and ADHD to go together with my OCD, and GAD oh I can't forget about the clinical depression either. I was a severe opioid and benzo addict taking crazy amounts I am now medicated but I'm worried about the amount of stimulants. I have never abused stimulants other than MDMA really and I don't know much about them. I was just put on Adderall XR seven months ago now I'm a 6 foot tall 240 pound male. It was amazing to see the effects that it had. I can finally look people in the eyes and my brain was finally slow. It was like for years they tried to numb with the stupid benzo's but my brain would still race. However, the dosing scares me because I don't know anyone else that takes this. I take 60 mg in the morning and another 30 mg capsule at 1400. They don't last 12 hours and I work about 10 hours a day so I find the 90 mg keeps me good for the majority actually really good for thee whole day and I still sleep for 6 to 8 hours But I didn't quit shooting up heroin to die from a heart attack..so can any of you give me some input please. Ps. By the way I also take 60 mg of Paxil and 4 mg of Xanax which sounds high but is pretty good considering before the Adderall I was taking eight and this was prescribed by my addiction Doctor. I honestly was not abusing that. I needed that to function soon as I went on the Adderall I stopped having the stupid panic attacks and have managed to cut my dose in half. I also take an opioid called Suboxone which is used to treat addiction. So yes technically I'm on amphetamine, benzodiazepine and opioid and an SSRI but, I'm the happiest I've ever been and I'm actually functioning and holding down a job and stuff for the first time in my life. I could really use some helpful opinions
  21. Who I am

    I'm going through a very severe depression right now. I have had ADD since I was a child, and have been on medications for that from childhood through adulthood, with a several year break. I went back on the adderall 5 months ago. It seemed to help my focus for a while, but lately I have had a depression so overpowering that I can barely do anything. I am in a relationship with my girlfriend that has many difficulties: She has a debilitating autoimmune disorder that frequently leaves her paralyzed. She is prone to frequent episodes of agonizing pain, and I am forced to watch as I try to help her. We have issues of codependency. I try to help her and be kind to her, but it seems that every action I take is stupid and insensitive and wrong. I think it would be best if I just disappeared from the world, but I won't actually kill myself. I just want to disappear.
  22. I have been on adderall since about February. In the last several months I have developed a very severe depression. I read that depression can be a rare side effect of adderall. I am stopping it for a few days to see if anything improves. Has anyone experienced anything like this? (I am not otherwise medicated for depression.)
  23. Please help me

    this is going to be long but i really need someones help, or advice, or experience. im an emotional wreck. so let me give some background information. Ive been on antidepressants since I was 15. I also suffer from anxiety. Ive been on zoloft before and effexor xr. I stopped effexor xr a few months back and switched to wellbutrin. Effexor was making me tired, fat, and just dulled me. It was then my pdoc suggested wellbutrin xr. From the start it was a hard medication for me to adjust to, but I really wanted it to work so I gave it a try. After a month or two I felt great. The side effects were gone, and I was happy. But about a month ago my anixety went haywire. I thought it was maybe making my adhd worse so I started taking adderall again. (I stopped for a short while because I had got up to 60mg a day and was wrecking my body). Adderall didnt help and if anything, my anxiety was worse. So about two weeks ago I stopped taking my wellbutrin. I was frustrated and Ive never tried to stop taking meds to see how Id feel. I wanted to get back in the gym, eating healthy, and give my body a chance to heal itself. I went about it all wrong. First I was just taking my ativan twice a day for my anxiety. It was working well. I didnt feel doped up or weird, just normal. And then I went back on my adderall. 5mg 3 times a day. Sometimes 10mg twice a day. Id feel great for a short time, and then crash and have to take more. So my doc suggested adding adderall xr. Tried that for a day or two but it made me extremely tired. So I tried taking it with a 5mg IR and then 5mg later in the afternoon. I still felt extremely strung out at the end of the day. Like I spent the day doing hard drugs. Id be so wired and anxious, so that then Id have to take my ativan at night. And now that is where Im at. I take adderall during the day, and around 5 start to feel terrible. Im anxious, nauseous, dehydrated even though ive been drinking water, and i feel like im coming down off crack. I come home, and take ativan. Im rx'ed 0.5mg but last night I took two and today I took 2 again, and then another one about 30 minutes ago. Im sick to my stomach over this. My mind doesnt know what the fuck is going on. Im up, and then Im down, and then at the end of the day Im mad at myself for doing this. I get home and feel like a zombie. I cant enjoy being with my husband, or my dog, or anything. Im so wired and fucked up and then I just want to cry. I want to stop. I dont want any shit in my system anymore. Tomorrow (like today) Im telling myself I wont take the adderall. Its just easier said then done, especially when I wake up and Im tired and sluggish, and just feel on edge because theres still adderall in my system. So i take one, and then feel better. And say ok, Ill take my next dose, I feel the crash coming on. Im scared. How do I do this? How do I detox? I know last time I stopped adderall cold turkey it was awful. I was a disgusting, tired mess. I was anxious. I had no motivation. To add it in, Im scared that if I stop my ativan at the same time Im going to be putting my body in double shock. I have been taking ativan on a daily basis up until recently, so Im hoping there wont be withdrawals, but I also know I need it for the anxiety - but I dont want to get dependent on it. What do I do? How do I get through this? Please someone help me. Im a manic mess. My husband got me flowers last night with a beautiful note, just because, and I cried because I feel like a worthless piece of shit. I just want to be healthy. Please help me. Im desperate and at the end of my rope
  24. Crazy Like Me

    Though I came up surrounded by close family members who struggled with various mental illnesses, I wouldn't say I had an especially traumatic or even a really remarkable childhood, apart from the sporadic, sometimes episodic fireworks Crazy can bring. On the whole I had a pretty typical middle class upbringing, for which I am grateful. My older sister served as my introduction to the mysteries and miseries of mental illness. She suffered from Bipolar Disorder, and it was clear my parents despaired at her condition. There was much acting out, at least one suicide attempt that I am aware of, multiple stays at inpatient facilities, and an ever-changing cocktail of medications throughout her teens. She tapered off meds when she planned to start a family, and has done amazingly well without them. My younger sister struggles with panic disorder and more physical ailments than anyone her young age ought to be saddled with. My mother was a survivor of child abuse, and subsequent to the passing of her father when I was about 12, she suffered a series of psychotic breaks that led to the first of several inpatient hospitalizations, and a lifetime of profound treatment resistant MDD that continues to this day. Not only did she not perpetuate the cycle of abuse she suffered but I never even knew what she'd been through until I was much older. My father never (to my knowledge) sought treatment for any mental illness, and tended towards stoicism and emotional opaqueness. I suspect however that he suffered (or even suffers still) from depression -- at the very least. HIs siblings suffered from myriad mental maladies. His upbringing was somewhat of a mystery to me, as what remained of his immediate family were separated by geography. I believe he too was a survivor of child abuse, based on what I've gleaned from anecdotes. My older brother was a bit of a black sheep, and when youthful indiscretions of the self-medicating type became too much for my well-meaning folks to handle he was given an ultimatum and joined the armed services. He was stationed in South Korea, and I gather his self-medicating ways came along for the ride. Upon returning stateside he had a hard time reintegrating, finding stable work, and had to rely on the support of his family more than I think he would have liked. He was a very emotional person, and felt things very deeply. I imagine if I would have asked him for one word to describe himself he might have chosen "failure". That's certainly not how I would have described him, but he was the type of person for whom every setback might have seemed like the universe pointing a spindly celestial finger at the tip of his nose and proclaiming FUCK. YOU. By the time my brother killed himself with the sputtering exhaust of the sparkly brown hatchback my mother had given him, I was living my own kind of Crazy. Today, I find myself at a strange cross roads. I am happily married. Successful, especially considering I never finished college. I have more than my fair share of material possessions. I have family and friends whom I love, and who love me. As much as I curse those who use the phrase, I'm Blessed. And yet, I can't recall a time I felt more lost. You see, growing up as an insatiably curious child in a household surrounded by Crazy, and where both parents worked in the medical field. So I didn't just *live* with Crazy, I, in a sense, *studied* it. Psychology. Anatomy. Psychiatry. Biology. Pharmacology. And most especially *Psychopharmacology*. I was never under the illusion that reading medical texts would make me a doctor any more than reading cookbooks would make me a chef. But I found, and still find the subject phenomenally interesting. In the late 80's and early 90's before webforums, TV drug adverts, wikipedia, etc., it seemed physicians expected laypeople to know almost nothing about medicine, so much so, that if you knew even a little, and went in with talking points memorized, you were going to leave with whatever it was you came for (within reason). Maybe it's always been that way. But I certainly felt clever, and in retrospect maybe a part of the burgeoning vanguard that changed how pharmaceuticals are consumed. Modern medicine is so unabashedly, brazenly consumer driven, I doubt any clinician bats an eye when patients come in and know exactly what their diagnosis is, the name brand and dosage of the drug they want, and oh by the way I've already printed off my own coupon that makes my copay 3 dollars until the drug goes off patent in 2030. But back to my personal tale of medico-consumerism. 22 years ago, at about 14 years of age, I self-diagnosed myself with depression. PART II To Follow Later