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Found 377 results

  1. My fiance has been losing weight recently. He's down 20 lbs and is like 228 lbs now. I've gained weight, but it was also that time of the month. I kinda go after chubby dudes as is, and always worry if they weigh less than me I become unnattractive. His affection towards me hasn't really gone down, it's stayed the same really. I tell him my concerns of me gaining while he's losing, and he says he'll love me no matter what. And that he also doesn't want me skinnier, he just wants me to be happy. But, at the same time he thinks my best friend is too big, [she's considered a SSBBW i'm a BBW if anyone knows what those mean...] but he said the difference too is that if I got as big as her he loves me, not her. I just worry his eyes may start to wander to other girls who aren't as big, although he does prefer curvier women, and I do actually have curves, i'm just a bit chunky. I've got a big bust, wide hips, and a big lower half, plus an hourglass figure, but a bit of a tummy.... And lately I've been more anxious as well about losing him to the point of nightmares, although it seems that they're symbolizing to not worry and to trust him [I die in them, and regret leaving things "left unsaid" with him basically.] Also a gentle reminder, this is my first longest relationship [been almost 2 years now coming this fall, been engaged for a full year now, too as of june.], first engagement, and hopeful marriage in the next few years. He's been married twice. I'm hoping to get us in for a premarital counseling appt cause we've not been in awhile this coming week, also. I feel like I've just put him on this pedastal of perfect cause let's face it he IS WAY better than anyone else I've been with putting up with my anxiety attacks, insecurities, etc etc etc, and it's like I'm waiting for something bad to happen and I hate that I'm like that. And he tells me to stop thinking he's perfect too, cause he ain't but he is to me...
  2. Hi everyone. It's been a couple weeks. I promised to update after my genesight test results came back. I was OCD about getting the results because I was so deeply depressed, and desperate. I titrated off lamictal which was making me suicidally depressed while waiting on the results. The mood stabilizer green winner for me...or in my case AAP...GEODON. My pdoc immediately stopped seroquel, and put me on 20 mg geodon in the morning and 40 mg at night. It doesn't make me sleepy. At all. That's the only issue I have so far. It's in the green column, and so far I've had zero side effects. My mood lifted almost overnight. I had a sweet spot of about 4 days where I felt completely normal. It was amazing. My problem, at least I think it's a problem. He also prescribed 20 mg of Prozac to help with depression and OCD thoughts. I historically cannot take antidepressants. They always make me hypomanic. Always. I've been on prozac before, but that was much earlier in my illness. Before I started rapid cycling and having paranoid features. After about a week, I started noticing hypomanic behavior. Most notably, spending way too much money. Not concentrating as much. Taking on big ideas for fix it projects I can't do alone in my condition right now. That kind of stuff. I'm also taking deplin 15 daily, but I seem to manage that with niacin, but I'm wondering is it the Prozac, the deplin, neither or both causing the hypomania? I've consistently stayed on .5 mg klonopin and 50 mg topamax. I want to up the topamax to 100 and start reducing klonopin. One thing notable, I weaned off 300mg gabapentin. I was paranoid it was causing the suicidal depression, not accepting it was the lamictal which has done that in the past. So, my pdoc said ok. Since I weaned off fully about 3 days ago, I've had more anxiety each day. Don't blame geodon on that. I have terrible panic and anxiety problems. So, today, I realized there is no way I can wean off klonopin if I'm already feeling like this or I will start dissociating again, and that is horrific. So, I took gabapentin today. I was supposed to see my pdoc today, which is the longest I've waited to see him. 2 weeks. But...he broke his arms and nose somehow, so my appointment is postponed to next Monday. Meanwhile, sleep is awful. I'm maybe sleeping 5 or 6 hours a night taking Tylenol pm. I have a very limited amount of time doing this before I go full on hypomanic or get very unstable and rapid cycle again. Although, none of this is as bad as it was before, I cannot take anything with Benadryl long term. It has an opposite effect on me. I either need my pdoc to up geodon and add a sleeping med or help me figure something out. I'm not keen on trazadone or vistaril, because doxepin made me rapid cycle severely because it's an AD, and vistaril did the same thing. But, I can say, I think I am one of the oddballs that Geodon loves. Thank goodness. I need at least my main med to work. I am scared if we up it I could get akathesia, but since it was in the green column on my genesight, I think that's unlikely. Any insight or advice for me going into my appointment next week? I loved those 4 days of feeling normal. I know I am so close. I am going to start IOP 3 days a week after I see him next Monday. I think it's time for counseling to deal with how to cope with this disease on a day to day basis, not just during a huge episode like I've been in. I may go to my internist tomorrow and ask for ambien for a week to get me through to my appointment though. I don't know if I can do 5 more nights of Benadryl and not go into orbit. Edit: I've also been doing B12 injections weekly which maybe contributing to hypomania. I'm going to skip next week's dose and take more niacin this week to flush some out.
  3. Hi guys, Been on Zoloft for over a year. Just increased from 75 mg to 100 mg 8 days ago. My anxiety is through the roof. First 5 days after the increase was fine. No problem, then the anxiety skyrocket. Is this normal?
  4. Hi everyone So here's a little background: I have been taking Klonopin daily for 4+ years now. The dosage at first was 1mg a day, increased to 2mg a day, then 3mg a day, back down to 2mg. I was on 2mg a day for the majority of the time using Klonopin. At the beginning of 2018, I discussed with my psych that I want to VERY slowly taper off Klonopin completely, since I feel my anxiety and panic are not as bad as they were, especially with being on Prozac. He agreed, so we tapered very slowly. I would make 25% to 33% reductions every visit. So far I have made it down to 0.75mg a day. That's huge for me! My anxiety is still close to nonexistent, but I do worry about one thing. When I do eventually get off Klonopin completely, will my anxiety and panic come back even though I have been having mild symptoms from tapering that do, eventually go away? Looking for answers from people who have gotten off benzo daily use and successfully remained (mostly) anxiety-free. Thank you very much.
  5. I wish I had never been placed on it adjunctively for depression/anxiety. I was first embarrassed because it is classified as an antipsychotic. I was on the lowest dose for a few months. I gain about 15 pounds. I haven't been able to return to my pre-abilify weight. So frustrating.
  6. Hey all, As the title states, I am new here. I am 28 years old, and My girlfriend who I have recently moved in with recommended I give this board a go, as I am notoriously closed off when it comes to my feelings, etc when it comes to this sort of thing. For most of my life, I was not a worrier. I remember my anxiety really started to surface my 2nd or 3rd year in college. To be totally honest, I spent many many years just drowning it out with whatever I could get my hands on. Mostly Marijuana, as I was never a big drinker ( havent had a drink in 8-9 years to this point). When I was younger, I have a bad car accident that fractured 4 of my vertebrae and was on painkillers for nearly 6 years before I couldn't take living prescription tp prescription and took myself out of pain management and looked for some different natural alternatives (currently Kratom manages my pain well enough). For some reason, as of late, as ion the last year or so, my anxiety has gotten worse to the point where it is getting nearly uncontrollable, which it has not been to this point. I should mention that I was raised in a VERY, VERY conservative, old, southern household where "talking" about how you felt or feeling depressed/anxious was viewed as "nonsense", or a "weakness" so it was always extremely difficult, if not impossible to talk about that sort of thing if I was able to talk about it at all. In most cases, I simply just had to bury it and move on with my life and "just deal with it" as I was told by my parents, etc. I think it just gotten to the point where SO much anxiety had been allowed to fester and its just boiling over, no more room to bury more, as it were. I have never had what I would describe as a "panic attack" in my first almost 25 years of my life. I had anxiety, sure but nothing really major in my estimation. Over the last few years, starting about 2 years back, I have started having what I THINK are panic attacks. I should go to the Dr. but as I mentioned, my upbringing has made it very difficult to convince myself that was something that I needed. Thankfully, my GF has convinced me to make an appointment to talk to a professional, but I have to wait almost 2 months to get in to see the person so was just looking for some tips in the meanwhile. Most recently , I have been having awful bouts of thinking my slightest aches and pains are the worst case scenario. I have a sore throat or feel like I have a lump in my throat? My god, I have throat cancer/lymphoma. I was worrying so much every day that I developed some pretty rough chest pains, which OF COURSE I very intelligently self-diagnosed as a heart attack one night and had a FULL BLOWN panic attack, couldn't sit still, nausea, hard of breathing, hot and cold flashes, the works. And today in particular, I have just felt completely unmotivated and just in the dumps when I shouldn't be. I'm moving in with my GF full time next week, starting a new career, just graduated school, this SHOULD be an awesome time for me, but its the polar opposite and its just miserable. Things I would normally love to do don't interest me in the slightest (I just got a Nintendo Switch and its AWESOME when im in a good space) no matter how much i try on SOME days. If anyone out there has had any similar symptoms, similar anxiety issues, is there anything that works for you at home that helps you calm down, keep things in perspective? I'm just looking for some tips to sort of tide me over until i see the Dr. Actually dealing with this is an ENTIRELY new territory for me, as is voicing how i feel whatsoever. Just looking for some advice/tips from folks who may have some more experience dealing with this sort of thing as compared to me. Sorry for the really long post/long read and thanks for reading. Hope everyone has a great day/night and thanks. Trystyn
  7. Hello again.

    Hello again friends. It has been a few years. I was HaloGirl66. Or IndyMode. I can't remember. But I re-registered because I couldn't recover my old user info. I've had severe insomnia, ADHD, GAD & Migraines for years and am now going through a bipolar diagnosis. So hello again. -Mandy
  8. Hello everyone! Where to begin... I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with some avoidant traits. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since elementary school (I am 22 now). Up til this point, I have been in and out of hospitals and treatment centers and passed around from therapist to therapist. I was heavily self- harming and abusing alcohol and other substances. A few months ago, I was sent to yet another center after a suicide attempt. Let me tell you, it changed my life. I was introduced to DBT, which has truly saved me. I am finally on the correct medication which has seriously reduced, if not stopped, my horrid intrusive thoughts and paranoia. Before, I was to the point I could hardly get out of bed, and already had to drop out of college and leave my job. Now, I have rediscovered my love for art, I am waitressing (something I would have NEVER thought possible) and- best of all- my relationship with my fiance is SO much better and we are back to planning our wedding. I am back to seeing a therapist regularly, and she is awesome. I've finally confronted issues with my toxic mother and am opening up about traumatic childhood experiences as well as working through family therapy with my father (and my mother, when he can convince her to join). The fact is, life is GOOD, I am somewhere I thought I would never be and I am incredibly grateful. I'm back here to recieve support now that I am more stable and moving forward into uncharted territory in my life. Thanks for being here and reading.
  9. I bought a bottle of CBD water soluble solution to help with anxiety, but I think I suffer more with depression currently. Any others out there trying just about anything for help? I'm even considering getting a medical marijuana card and some marijuana for my depression and lack of motivation here in Florida. The process isn't cheap though and I don't want to bother unless I can hear from some trusted folks that it can help. I am first trying the CBD oil since it is legal due to not containing any THC. I would be interested in a discussion on these topics. I am surprised these aren't already topics here. I am at my wits end trying to find a fucking AD that works.
  10. I’ve been dealing with an episode of anxiety and depression since the beginning of January. Despite having had some similar episodes in the early 2000s, I was anxiety and depression free from 2008 until January. I have increase my Paxil dose to 40mg (I was on 30mg for the last 10 years) and I’ve added Lamictal. Just gotten up to the 100 mg range 3 days ago, so hopefully I will balance out soon! In my quest to feel better and get my life back on track, I started researching additional options and came across TMS. I had a consultation and managed to convince my insurance to cover 36 visits (yay!). I had my first visit to get set up on March 5th and then went on vacation. I felt quite a bit better throughout March so I decided to delay starting TMS. Unfortunately the anxiety and depression has returned. I start TMS on Monday. They only had one appointment for me next week, though they said they’ll probably get some cancellations, but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s done this and who can share their experience. I’m not afraid of the treatment, just that it won’t help. Did you go 5 days a week? My doctor says between 2 and 3 days a week will have the same effect. I’ve read some stories on here, but they’re all a couple years old, so I’m hoping for some more recent accounts. Thank you in advance!!
  11. In January of this year I woke up with a panic attack completely out of the blue. Despite several episodes of anxiety and depression in my 20s, my last episode was back in 2008! At that time I went through a year or so of therapy, committed to staying on 30mg of Paxil, and I never looked back. I honestly would have said I was cured! The panic attack led to a period of anxiety that lasted right through February. I upped the Paxil to 40mg and worked with a psychiatrist who suggested adding Lamictal. We started at 25mg for 2 weeks, 50mg for 2 weeks, and then 75mg. I started noticing a positive difference at about a week on 75mg. A few days later, the anxiety and depression just lifted! It was like I had my life back. For nearly a month I felt great, and believed the Lamictal must have made the difference. Unfortunately, it didn't last. About a week ago something minor triggered anxiety in me, and again it has lasted! My psychiatrist recommended going up to 100mg of Lamictal, so I started that two days ago. My question is, does lamictal work and then wear off if it's not at the right level? Has anyone had success with an SSRI and lamictal for anxiety and depression, not related to bipolar disorder? Can anyone offer advice on how to keep the faith with these medication changes, or how to overcome anxiety? Looking for others who get it, and want to help!
  12. I hope this is the right thread for this. Today we took our kids to an Easter Egg drop. There were sooooooo many people there. We had 5 of our 7 kids with us ranging in ages of 4 year old twins, 10 year old, and two 13 year olds. When the "hunt" started, one of my toddlers disappeared into the crowd. We knew a lot of the people at this church so at first I didn't worry because I knew he would reappear as people moved. When he did not, I started to worry. After several minutes I was bawling and trying really hard not to freak out. In one of those moments my perception of everything around me changed. It was....wavy? vagely blurry? It was different. I felt foggy. I don't really know how to better explain it, but nothing felt real (and still does not). We did eventually find him, he had wandered off to another age section of eggs.... <3 I have had this unrealism happen off and on since I was a teenager. It lasted much longer at a time then, but the first time I remember it happening I was around a lot of people then too. I'm categorizing this as a part of my anxiety flaring up. I just feel like I "cracked" if that makes sense. I feel like I am kind of on a precipice of sorts, but I am watching everything that happens from a distance, or through holes in a wall. I am confusing myself trying to explain this lol. How do you cope with this? What does it usually mean for you? What generally causes it for you?
  13. Hello, As the title suggests, I'm new to this forum. I decided to give google a search for such a thing because I've reached sort of a dead end. I have quite the history with anxiety disorder/panic disorder, but had been doing quite well. Then February 28th hit me like a ton of bricks and I've not been right since. Currently on clonazepam, depakote, seroquel (just added to start tonight). Other DX include schizoaffective disorder and OCD. Maybe other things, but I haven't read my eFile in forever because... why? This go-round has been rough. I've tried beta blockers and something called hydroxyzine HCL (did almost nothing but make me sleep, but when you have anxiety 24/7, I accepted it with glee!). I'm housebound. I literally cannot leave my yard or I have a panic attack. Initially, my bubble was broad and I could drive and go where I wanted but had to be cautious. This has changed now. I can't drive or ride in a vehicle at all (had a bad motorcycle accident a few years back and my doctor thinks that's why). So, I stay in the house all day and I do housework like a freaking boss and take care of the kids so that my wife doesn't feel burdened. I used to be able to cope well. I could feel that anxiety/panic switch flipping and I could smash that switch and carry on about my day. I can't do that anymore. I just feel stuck. What's working for any of you? What medicine could I talk about with my doctor if this seroquel deal doesn't work. I'm at a loss and at times have felt suicidal. Those thoughts still come, but I push them away with full force since my 9 year old (birthday today, actually) made me a get well card and started crying about me being "sick." Any suggestions or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Be well!
  14. Hello, I'm new to the boards and could use some suggestions. 15 years ago I was diagnosed by my PCP with generalized anxiety and depression. Although I've been this way as long as I could remember. My anxiety causes my depression. I originally was started on Paxil, which turned me into a zombie. Then I was on Celexa, for a number of years, as it stopped working, my dosage was upped each time until my Dr said I was at the highest dose. So she changed me to Lexapro w/ Buspar, the Lexapro worked for awhile, but I had to drop the Buspar as it made my bruxism worse when I slept. Eventually the Lexapro stopped working. I switched from my PCP to a Psychiatrist, in hopes of getting more targeted care. The first one misdiagnosed me and was insistent that I was Bipolar and prescribed me Latuda. I took it because I thought, "Well....what If he's right?" Which was a nightmare. Not only was I not able to stay awake during the day, but it put me in a manic state which I had never experienced before. I again, switched psychiatrists, this one prescribed me Wellbutrin + Zoloft. I was on it for a month. And was not feeling any relief. So she tapered me off the Zoloft. So now I'm just on the Wellbutrin. And not only is my anxiety through the roof, it makes me jittery and edgy. And the last three weeks, I've cried every day. Although the crying is over a breakup, I'm positive that my meds are not helping. throughout all of this...all of these drugs have zapped my libido. It's a catch 22. Do I want to feel normal and not have any interest in having sex? Or do I want to be anxious and depressed all the time and not feel like having sex? I've taken the GeneSight test in hopes the results would tell me what would work best...But it just breaks the drugs down by categories of Use as directed, Moderate gene-drug interaction, and Significant gene-drug interaction. In which nothing fell into the last category. I hoped that it would narrow it down so I wouldn't have to keep this trial and error up. I don't want to take anything for anxiety that I could become addicted to (Benzos). And as far as antidepressants, I'm running out of options. I've thought of trying Celexa again to see if it would work. It worked last time for 5 years before I had to increase it. It does fall into the moderate gene-drug interaction column on my report for "Genotype may impact drug mechanism of action and result in reduced efficacy." As far as antidepressants listed as suggested, I've tried Wellbutrin, which clearly isn't working. Then there's Pristiq, Fetzima, Emsam, and Vibryd. Which I have not tried yet. Any suggestions on which one I should try next? Hopefully something that doesn't make me a zombie, cause increased anxiety, or make me cry every day, or zap my entire sex drive? I know. I'm asking a lot. Also noted, I have started DBT in hopes that it will help as well. Hopefully, one day, I can be med free. (A girl can dream.)
  15. Hey there! I've been having a very difficult week. I've been on lexapro and klonopin for depression and anxiety for 3 years and the lexapro has plateaued in the last year or so, so my pdoc decided to put me on Abilify about a week ago and it has SUCKED. I'm not feeling any of the positive effects of the meds yet, which I understand because sometimes it takes a while. BUT i have been feeling a whole bunch of negatives. Theres a general brain slowness, like forming sentences and thoughts takes much longer than usual, like if my train of thought were a real train, there is now a huge parachute on the back slowing it down. The WORST side effect so far has been the derealization. I'm familiar with it as it is a side effect of my anxiety. I can't tell if it is a direct effect of the abilify or if the meds are causing more anxiety which is then causing derealization. The thing is, I haven't been feeling much more anxious than usual recently. It's like the derealization comes over me first and then the anxiety follows. Has anyone experienced this on Abilify? If so, did it go away eventually? Did you switch meds? Nothing seems real and I'm getting very very tired of it.
  16. I hate how my anxiety makes me overthink everything. Here lately, my relationship especially. It intrudes into my head and it makes me wanna say, "who do you think you are, coming into my head, and making me feel these negative thoughts?!" Like, really, who!? That might sound strange, but it's truly how I feel. I hate feeling unsure of my relationship. It makes me feel ill. I've been trying to take my meds consistently lately, I missed the day I had counseling...which is odd because we talked about my inconsistency of taking my meds. We've been together a little over a year now, which is pretty new for me. Never had a relationship last that long. Maybe I'm scared I'll get hurt or something? But, I know I won't. A lot of it is the whole "what if he isn't good for me?" spiel. My parents aren't very fond of what he does for work, but he does his best to take care of us, and put up with my anxiety and other issues. All in all he's pretty great, but my brain makes me want to over analyze everything and I wish I could make it shut up. My mom said she thinks it's making me realize that my relationship isn't healthy or something to that effect. Does anyone else have issues like this with their relationships? I saw a blog post about it from a girl who also suffered from GAD and I cried. It explained everything I've felt for so long when it comes to relationships, or at least this one. I feel like I'm alone in these feelings, usually. I know these feelings aren't normal, and I don't like them
  17. Hello everyone. I haven't been here for awhile. I am feeling pretty bad so i am reaching out. I would appreciate any comforting words of wisdom. It'sthe same old thing :strong anxiety, think everyone hates me, feeling completely alone and abandoned, pervasive negative thoughts, certain that I will always feel this way, kind of want to die(I am not at risk for suicide). ANXIETY! I am trying to get connected with the part of me who has some perspective but so far that part does not seem available. I just really fucking hate this!
  18. I tapered of ativan because I felt like it was making me like the energizer bunny. I would start reading a book, 15 min later do dishes, 20 min later go on a run, 10 minutes into the run get tired of it, go inside watch a tv show for 10 min, then do something else. I couldn't focus on one damn thing at a time. Well I refilled the prescription and I felt great yesterday and the day before but now I actually feel more anxious. Not exactly anxiety per se, but almost like an agitation that makes me on edge, makes me worry more. I function better. Showering, cleaning, not daydreaming all day or dissociating. But I just hate the rotten feeling of agitation and not being able to relax. Would a longer acting benzo help? Such as klonipin. This was the same thing I experienced on xanax except no agitation but more energizer bunny and 15 incremental sessions all day. But this time I keep worrying, I can't be patient, little things annoy me. I'm getting frustrated even thinking about thinking about it.
  19. My Dr recommended that I try ketamine for my depression. I have bipolar 1, anxiety and depression. I've heard of this being a street drug so I'm nervous to try it. I wondered about others experiences.
  20. I just started Busar yesterday (2.5 mg twice a day) and am experiencing a terrible headache accompanied by blurred vision, dizziness, and thinking difficulties. It basically feels like the front of my brain is in a headachy fog. I wanted to know 1) Has any one else experienced this with Buspar and how long did it take to go away? 2) How do you continue taking medication when it feels like you're poisoning your body? - Is it worth it? Does it go away?
  21. So I met a guy who I really liked. We went on a few dates, then I ended up spending the night last night. Once I got home, he texted me and asked me what medications I took this morning, which I was honest. He said that hasn’t scared him away, but he has been distant and stopped texting me. I know the answer, but it just makes me depressed how stigmatized we are as a community and I wish I never spent the night with him. I’m sorry for the long rant. Anyone else experience anything similar while dating?
  22. Driving makes me so anxious I can't deal with it. I have panic attacks and some times I disassociate. I've decided that I can't do it anymore right now. My therapist says I shouldn't quit and I need to power through it or the anxiety will win, but it's just too much. Besides, I don't think it's safe to drive when I start disassociating or panicking and not paying attention to the road. There's not always a safe place to pull over if I start freaking out. Maybe I'm exaggerating the safety concerns because I don't want to do it though. I don't know. I know it will be a hardship for my family. My spouse and kids don't drive, so we will be reliant on the in-laws for rides, which makes me feel guilty, but I think it's for the best for me right now. Thoughts?
  23. Three days ago I felt like there was mold growing in my brain and it was controlling my thoughts. I am now in a time of feeling a little less crazy, but I know in 30 minutes that might change again. Yesterday, I was waiting for someone to drive me home from church and I started believing the whole church was a cult and all religion is a mind control cult, which some people believe this but its not normal for me. I grew up in church. It made me feel very afraid. Then I started believing that demons were in my brain because of the mold in my brain. I tried to call my old pastor about this and he just reassured me that this is a mental health issue but I cant trust him. I cant trust anybody right now. The only person I trust is my therapist I am seeing tomorrow. I feel like something catachlysmic is coming. The last week every morning I check the news on my phone to see if a nuke hit. I feel like I'm one of the only people going to heaven and I am having a hard time trusting anyone else. I have also been having weird dreams, nightmares. I have lost touch with my normal self. I take geodon and feel less paranoid but that wears off after a few hours. Ativan helps too, but not that much.
  24. Hi everyone, Just joined this forum, but I used to be a member of the old crazymeds site, which I found very helpful. I am a 44 year old male, and have been on a combo of Sertraline and Wellbutrin for close to five years now after a severe nervous breakdown. I recently decided to try weaning myself off the medication, mostly because I have never found my ability to concentrate has been quite as good since I went on the medication. What a mistake. I experienced crushing depression once I completely stopped, and went back on just the Wellbutrin to see if it would improve. It didn't, so I restarted my 100mg of Sertraline. I have just now taken my twelfth daily dose and since about day four, I have had TERRIBLE anxiety. I feel like there is a lump of lead in my gut, I'm sweating, I have tremors, my mind is racing -- I'm in a pretty bad way. I've booked an appointment at a psychiatrist but the first available slot is a week from today. I feel absolutely terrible. I'm posting here for two reasons: the first is to know if anyone else has experienced such severe anxiety with the commencement of Sertraline, and the second is just for some support. I feel very alone. My wife doesn't understand mental illness and my anxiety just seems to anger her, so I have to try and conceal it. I could really use some understanding just now. Thanks in advance, I appreciate your time.
  25. So basically im dead inside. I currently being emotionaly dull, i cant feel any motivation or desire to live, despite that im still doing my everyday things, going to college, working out, doing my usual duties and chores. The thing is that i have an schizoid disorder, and im very paranoid. I posted in addiction because one of the most destructive things is my addction to many things. I smoke, not weed, regular cigarettes, the thing is that my parents think that i quited smoking but i dont, i wanna quit to, i hate it, and i hate it because my parents are well known religious leaders in my town and a lot of people know them and know me, when i smoke outside im always paranoid, i dont wanna live this way, my paranoia is getting worse but i always end up smoking again because my friends smoke and i always fall but i wanna quit. If my parents get to know that i still smoke they probably stop paying my colleges fees, a lot of people know them and can snitch on me. I have this fight, i cant keep going anymore, at the same time smoking helps me cope whit my side effectos made by my antipsychotics, but they dont understand, they always judge merciless even do im an adult in my twenties. Can anyone give advice, all advice is very helpful.
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