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Found 405 results

  1. I didn't realize this until I was reading another post, but here it is again, the first day of Fall in the US in two days. Already leaves are turning colors, falling, and the light outside is changing. Usually every change in season, I have one or two manic episodes. Last night had what I believe was my first manic episode in a long time. But last evening was scarier, all the typical symptoms of mania along with visual disturbances and sensations I had never experienced before. Left a vmail message on my psych docs line this morning thinking this is the smart thing to do, it usually takes alot for me to bother him in between sessions, but he does encourage this, fortunately. I left him the data and left it up to him if he feels he needs to call me back next week. I see him in two weeks. So, I remember my psych doc telling me once in a mood change, one can take a little extra medicine to help. I only take Seroquel as needed, so took 1/2 of a 25 mg of Seroquel and nothing happened. Thirty minutes took the next 1/2 of the 25 mg and finally sleep arrived. I slept 14 hours straight and when I woke up, I woke up to a totally different person. That scary weird out of control mood was no longer there (thought I was going to have to call 911 for help), the cycling was almost gone and slowly drifted away throughout the day. I am 67 and finding that my brain is functioning differently lately. It's beginning to scare me, of course the aging process is very scary. I have addressed this with my psych doc many times, even my neurologist and they do not seem concerned. I had an MRI and all was normal there for someone my age. These are all new symptoms to me, or maybe the same but more dramatic, I think. I have had more than my share of significant triggers last 9 months. I tried therapy last two weeks and actually ran out of the therapists room last week due to a panic attack. I warned her not to push. I even had it all written out for her to read, but oh no, she wanted me to verbalize it and then she swung into asking me about bodily feelings, that was when I ran out of her room in a blind panic. She wanted me to reveal too much stuff too fast and I kept warning her. Will not go back to her. So, now I have to get up the courage to seek out someone else. My psych doc will not refer me to anyone, as is his way, which makes it harder on me. Okay, will close for now.
  2. Second post on this forum (woohoo!), but, I was wondering if anyone has any advice for smoothing out a relationship between two bipolar people. My fiance and I have been together for nearly three years now, engaged for almost two of those years, we're both under the age of 25 (but over 18), we live together, and we're both bipolar. She has Type I and I'm just recently diagnosed Type II. Both our diagnosis(es?) have been in the past year, and we've both been trying medicines (her first, then me as my dx came months after); she is presently unmedicated. We both see the same psychologist but different prescribing doctors/GPs. We do not presently do any sort of couples therapy, our therapy sessions are separate and confidential. Our relationship in all it's years has always had very rough spots that we stick out because we genuinely love each other and care for one another, and want to see each other grow/be apart of each other's lives. However, our MIs (bipolar, ptsd, possible schizo-spect disorder on our end) have nearly ripped us apart for good many times. We took an almost month long break after our most recent big falling out, out of desperation to try and amend ourselves and our relationship. Being apart for a bit seemed to help, but we seem to have fallen right back into the "cycle" of our relationship. The extreme highs and lows that are no doubt also attributed to our bipolar. Does any have any words of wisdom or advice to think about/keep in mind when trying to keep the relationship afloat? We genuinely do love and care for one another and want to make what we have at our best work. It just seems to get more and more difficult. Hopefully meds will help even us out, we know we need to work on ourselves to help the relationship. Anything is much appreciated! -P
  3. In your experience have you taken an antidepressant specifically an SSRI and it made you activated, agitated, irritable and unable to sleep
  4. Hi. Years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar II but after 6-7 years of messing with med cocktails I'm seriously wondering if I'm not just depressed and that's that. I've never had mania. Never had a "high". I definitely get depressed- and sometimes, when not medicated, I can get extremely irritable. My psychiatrist says that the irritability is my version of "mania" but I've never seen anyone else describe going through this or having this kind of bipolar. I've never seen this listed as the symptoms of bipolar anywhere. I don't fit the criteria of bipolar II that I've seen written anywhere. I just can't relate to anything I've read. Also, when I get depressed, it's accompanied by sheer panic. Not flat-out panic attacks but just feelings of dread and fear. I become convinced I'm going to lose my job, lose my house, etc. Things at work haven't been perfect but the level of fear I experience is completely out of proportion to the situation and it feels "chemical". I also feel like someone is sitting on my chest... I feel it in my chest and shoulders. It's bizarre. Can anyone relate to any of this?
  5. Ok, so you guys know me by now. Hard to treat. Bipolar 2 rapid cycling psychosis triggered by wrong meds or a bad cycle. Breakthrough mixed episodes on meds. Can’t take any antidepressants at all. so, what you don’t know is when I was a kid I found out I was blind in one eye and had exotropia. Fancy word for lazy or cross eye. I had surgery to fix it but when the MRI’s were done back in the 90’s my opthomalogist found I had an arachnoid cyst on one of my temporal lobes and an optic nerve disease. I always thought the cyst was on the left side because that’s the eye that has the optic nerve disease and the one I can’t see out of. fast forward to now: my mom kept everything from back then, and my psychiatrist knows I have an arachnoid cyst. He’s also a neuropsychologist so I think he can order an MRI. I asked mom to try to find the mri film so I can bring it to my pdoc. She did. I have read NIH studies on people with arachnoid cysts and bipolar or psychosis that are hard to treat. It always said left temporal lobe. I don’t know why but I’m my mind I kept thinking no, it’s on the right. Even though I felt like it should be on the left somewhere in time, I started thinking right. i like to draw, so I have a light box. So, I just turned it on, pulled out the film, looked at it and even though it’s small I swear the cyst is on my left temporal lobe and not my right. I started crying. there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s small, and it would be ridiculous to operate and I think only one surgeon will drain them in the country. The point is, I feel like I understand a little more why I’m so hard to treat and this helps me accept myself more. It’s something I was born with. If it caused me to lose my eyesight and an optic nerve disease why wouldn’t it cause bipolar? Wouldn’t it make sense my brain doesn’t respond to meds like a lot of bipolar patients do? Ie: antidepressants. It lets me know I can’t safely have ECT or TMS. It lets me know my body and it’s limitations. I’m going to bring the film to my pdoc on Thursday. I think a new mri is a good idea. I know it hasn’t gone away, it may be bigger. Usually it’s always stayed the same size. bipolar is in my family, but not like mine. Not so hard to treat and not so rapid cycling. Thanks for listening to me share. Hugs.
  6. I’ve a question for the hive mind. I get different diagnoses depending on who I talk to. I definitely have had serious early childhood adverse events, and have been retraumatized as a teen and adult. Symptoms: excessive worry and fear Overreactive, esp about marriage Poor sleep Inability to concentrate When my symptoms are acute, which happens every couple of years, and always in summer, which happens to be an anniversary date, I get: Feelings of rushing, or charged Irritable & agitated Emotionally labile (3 hour crying jags and I never cry) Dissociation/derealization/depersonaliation Paresthesias Self destructive behavior: sexual promiscuity, suicidal ideation Intensely strong sense of fear, heart pounding Intrusive alarming thoughts Time shifts between past memories and present experience Deep sadness I have a history of recurrent depression. I have never felt euphoria. I have persistent pain, and migraines. Those who say I’m bipolar seem to worry about my paresthesias and rushed electric feelings. Those who say it’s trauma seem convinced by intrusive thoughts & history. it’s important because SSRIs are verboten if you are bipolar but good for trauma, and antipsychotics or lithium do nothing for trauma long term but are good for bipolar disease. Has anyone had to navigate competing diagnoses? What did you do about meds?
  7. I noticed a few people on the board talking about having problems in summer. I was curious about whether the months of July and August are activating for you? If do you think this is from sunlight or heat? Is the pattern consistent for you from year to year? What do you do about it?
  8. Hi guys, just started seroquel/quetiapine 25 mg two days ago. I think it makes me hypomanic. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it go away? Im taking it for bipolar disorder
  9. Hi there! Recently a new girl has started work, and I've taken a liking to her. The trouble with this is that I've walled myself off from other people for around 7 years. I've been managing to deal with my illness by not talking to other people, not having friends, not having a partner. I wasn't looking for anything with this new girl, but unfortunately, my body has had other ideas. I've been hit by a wave of emotions for her that I'm just not able to deal with. What makes it worse is that she's been seeing a guy for 14 years and there's no chance that we will ever get together. I think that she was attracted to me when we first started talking; I don't think that she would want to go out with me still, but life isn't black and white. I was flattered that she was like this, but I didn't push the issue, I knew how things were. On the mood scale chart that I keep seeing everywhere, I'm normally between 5-8. Since this has all started. Since her turning me down, I'm now between 2-5 most of the time, I think I've dipped down to 1 twice in the last couple of months. With my mood being all over the place, it is becoming more difficult to talk to her and I think she's pushing me away now; I can see things from her perspective and I can't blame her. Recently, she's been smiling at someone else in the office that isn't me and I'm having difficulty with it. It all feels so stupid, but I've now let someone have too much power over me and it is keeping my mood low. I don't know how to get out of this. I'm worried that if it continues I will need to take time off work and if that happens I might lose my job, my house, etc. I need help! Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can move on more quickly? Has anyone dealt with similar issues?
  10. Hi everyone. It's been a couple weeks. I promised to update after my genesight test results came back. I was OCD about getting the results because I was so deeply depressed, and desperate. I titrated off lamictal which was making me suicidally depressed while waiting on the results. The mood stabilizer green winner for me...or in my case AAP...GEODON. My pdoc immediately stopped seroquel, and put me on 20 mg geodon in the morning and 40 mg at night. It doesn't make me sleepy. At all. That's the only issue I have so far. It's in the green column, and so far I've had zero side effects. My mood lifted almost overnight. I had a sweet spot of about 4 days where I felt completely normal. It was amazing. My problem, at least I think it's a problem. He also prescribed 20 mg of Prozac to help with depression and OCD thoughts. I historically cannot take antidepressants. They always make me hypomanic. Always. I've been on prozac before, but that was much earlier in my illness. Before I started rapid cycling and having paranoid features. After about a week, I started noticing hypomanic behavior. Most notably, spending way too much money. Not concentrating as much. Taking on big ideas for fix it projects I can't do alone in my condition right now. That kind of stuff. I'm also taking deplin 15 daily, but I seem to manage that with niacin, but I'm wondering is it the Prozac, the deplin, neither or both causing the hypomania? I've consistently stayed on .5 mg klonopin and 50 mg topamax. I want to up the topamax to 100 and start reducing klonopin. One thing notable, I weaned off 300mg gabapentin. I was paranoid it was causing the suicidal depression, not accepting it was the lamictal which has done that in the past. So, my pdoc said ok. Since I weaned off fully about 3 days ago, I've had more anxiety each day. Don't blame geodon on that. I have terrible panic and anxiety problems. So, today, I realized there is no way I can wean off klonopin if I'm already feeling like this or I will start dissociating again, and that is horrific. So, I took gabapentin today. I was supposed to see my pdoc today, which is the longest I've waited to see him. 2 weeks. But...he broke his arms and nose somehow, so my appointment is postponed to next Monday. Meanwhile, sleep is awful. I'm maybe sleeping 5 or 6 hours a night taking Tylenol pm. I have a very limited amount of time doing this before I go full on hypomanic or get very unstable and rapid cycle again. Although, none of this is as bad as it was before, I cannot take anything with Benadryl long term. It has an opposite effect on me. I either need my pdoc to up geodon and add a sleeping med or help me figure something out. I'm not keen on trazadone or vistaril, because doxepin made me rapid cycle severely because it's an AD, and vistaril did the same thing. But, I can say, I think I am one of the oddballs that Geodon loves. Thank goodness. I need at least my main med to work. I am scared if we up it I could get akathesia, but since it was in the green column on my genesight, I think that's unlikely. Any insight or advice for me going into my appointment next week? I loved those 4 days of feeling normal. I know I am so close. I am going to start IOP 3 days a week after I see him next Monday. I think it's time for counseling to deal with how to cope with this disease on a day to day basis, not just during a huge episode like I've been in. I may go to my internist tomorrow and ask for ambien for a week to get me through to my appointment though. I don't know if I can do 5 more nights of Benadryl and not go into orbit. Edit: I've also been doing B12 injections weekly which maybe contributing to hypomania. I'm going to skip next week's dose and take more niacin this week to flush some out.
  11. Does anyone with BP or BP 2 specifically have any experience with 5-HTP? I've taken it off and on for the last few weeks and have concluded that it has had a definite effect on me. It definitely appears to be activating. I can take 100 mg (Vitamin World brand that also has 125 mg of calcium listed per 100 mg serving of the 5-HTP in 2 caps) and feel just a little bit but if I take twice the dosage within 6 hours I really feel it. I took 150 mg this afternoon at once with 2 caps of Now brand Dopa Mucuna and 2 caps of Vitamin World GABA-Plus (which has Niacin and Inositol as well unlike other brands of GABA) on top of 2 caps of the GABA this morning. Driving to dinner I felt like I was damn near hypomanic, if not there. If I had not been fully aware of myself and not driving, I might have gone right above what I feel is my hypomanic threshold. I may have actually dabbled with that line a bit for an hour or so. I definitely had to reign myself in a few times after noticing I was getting a little overly excited and happy. It was definitely a nice feeling, I just didn't want to get out of hand being in public with the family like that. Also of note, I took these capsules mentioned above after being in a pretty crappy but not lethargic mood and I did have a cup of somewhat strong coffee so I should factor that in as well. I have to think that the 5-HTP is a bigger factor in how I felt today though because I experienced something similar a few weeks ago after doing nearly the same thing, without the coffee, by taking a 100 mg dose in the morning, then another 100 mg dose just after noon that day on a nearly empty stomach. I went kind of haywire for about an hour and got kind of paranoid. Though once I was able to remove the fear by saying fuck-it basically and telling myself to just try to enjoy the ride that day, I felt pretty great. I was noticeably relaxed and calm after that almost tired but i did not want to take a nap because of the GABA I had taken (probably 6 of caps of the same brand over a 6 hour period with little food in my stomach) fearing a benzo-like effect on my breathing. That day, I had no coffee since a weak cup early morning. Since I was felt a little too tired after taking the rest of those caps mentioned, I did have another cup of not really strong coffee and then felt pretty great. Tomorrow I'll experiment with just the strong coffee I had today and report back in this thread. It was a mix of regular coffee and some espresso I had ground last week - about a 50/50 blend - in a French press that tasted good and strong, but nothing overpowering for my taste. Edit: Just wanted to include I'm not under the influence of any illegal drugs or alcohol anymore. Today is 24 days completely clean and sober and I'm enjoying the shit of out of sobriety honestly. Other than that, I've been on the same meds in my signature minus the 150 mg of Bupropion. I've stopped that for 3 days now as it's been too activating for me and has made my temper much worse. Temper has been about 1/2 what it was a week ago now. I would love to hear from any BP people, especially BP 2 folks, and their experiences with 5-HTP.
  12. I know that a lot of bipolar folks take an SSRI as part of their daily regimen of meds and apparently it seems to help. But there's some growing concern in the pdoc world now that SSRI's may be causing manic symptoms and even directly causing manic episodes. I was on SSRI's for 10 years before quitting last October. In chronological order: Celexa, Zoloft, Celexa again, Lexapro, Zoloft again, Prozac, Zoloft again briefly, back to Prozac to close it out. For me, personally, after stopping them altogether, I was able to see what they were doing to my system. I truly believe they made me much more unstable and greatly increased compulsiveness and just made a bad situation worse. Switching from Lexapro to Zoloft sent me immediately full-on hypomanic for over a month in early 2015. I was high as a kite and on top of the fucking world. It was unreal and so obvious at the time. From the beginning of it, I was certain something unusual was going on. Now I wasn't diagnosed bipolar yet, just depressed, so I didn't even know what hypomania was then. It fizzled out eventually (sigh) but I had at least two more, shorter, and less intense episodes late spring 2015. I've not had anything quite as euphoric as those since. My last pdoc expressed some concern about the prozac but wasn't very insistent on me stopping it, just that I would want to eventually. I've since read that there is increasing concern in the pdoc community. Yet a lot of bipolar people still take SSRI's and don't seem to have problems. Do SSRI's seem to help your causes? Do you notice any unusual side effects? Have any of you stopped taking SSRI's and noticed a change? Other comments? This could be interesting.
  13. Can anyone tell me what you take that has treated bipolar depression. I’m too scared to even touch an antidepressant with my history. I can’t get out of depression. When I think of my life since this illness onset I can only think of a handful of healthy times when I wasn’t at least mildly depressed. I am fighting so dam hard, and this is it. I have time off. I’m about to start getting short term disability and I’ll have at least 6 months to tinker with meds. I’ve already been tinkering with them for over a year and nothing is working for depression. i thought lamictal would do it this time but it’s making me worse. im desperate. I’m going to seriously look into Latuda with my pdoc but yes I am concerned about anxiety. I do have a goal to get off the .5 klonopin over the next several months. Maybe that is unrealistic or impossible.
  14. My new therapist recommended another therapist that deals with PTSD and other issues. PTSD because of loss of many family members. I mentioned to her that I can't recall many memories from my past, let alone a few weeks ago like general conversations. I can't even remember the first time holding either of my daughters. My parents fought a lot when I was younger. I know that it happened, even physical fighting, but can't remember in detail. Willing to pay whatever the cost to find out why I am the way that I am including taking expensive Latuda. Has anyone had a breakthrough with dealing with their bipolar and depression? Anyone ever get some answers from a professional? I'm worried that if I don't tackle these issues now, how can I be a better parent, a better person or even consider marriage? My boyfriend thankfully is very supportive, but doesn't live with me. I'm tired of the days that I wish my life was over when I am truly blessed or times that I feel my life has slipped on by without any progress.
  15. So far this year, I think I've missed 17 days of work. There was a time I missed four days of work in January. I wasn't on medication at the time. I just had a hard time finding a new psych doctor until a few weeks ago (prescribed 20 mg of Latuda). I would just wake up and sometimes if it was raining, just decide I wasn't going to work. I just didn't care if I got fired or not. There were even days that I didn't get paid for. How about coming home with only $200.00? Despite this, I would continue missing work. I would make every excuse in the book. Thankfully I didn't get fired. The depression started around January after having a period of hypomania. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2011. I have these episodes generally in the Spring & Fall for some odd reason. Then I'm good to no one, but behave much better, just depressed, have no motivation to get off the couch. I haven't missed a large amount of time from work since 2016 (out of work for longer than a month twice that year). Since taking Latuda, I felt a difference almost immediately, starting sleeping for the full night. I'm hoping this medication works well especially since my co-pay was $175.00. This month, I haven't missed one day of work (knock on wood) and rarely have been late. Trying to become reliable again at work. Anyone else missed work? What worked for you?
  16. First time posting but I need some help. I am on 800mg of Seroquel and have been for over three years. I went from 110lbs to 200lbs in those years. This is the only medication to help me. I heard that tapering down can improve weight loss but I currently dont have insurance and moved to a new state so no pdoc. Is it really impossible to lose the weight I've gained? I just got a gym membership and a bike. I'm just really miserable with this weight but dont have many options when it comes to changing meds.
  17. Hello again.

    Hello again friends. It has been a few years. I was HaloGirl66. Or IndyMode. I can't remember. But I re-registered because I couldn't recover my old user info. I've had severe insomnia, ADHD, GAD & Migraines for years and am now going through a bipolar diagnosis. So hello again. -Mandy
  18. I've been in therapy for 5 years. Also medicated. I have a good job. I have a supportive husband. I have a home. But years of abuse and insanity still get the better of me sometimes and I feel like I don't deserve anything good, or that people will "find out" that I am a horrible person (I have bad elements and good), and I still have days/weeks. when I am extremely self destructive. The current incarnation is that (a) I am fighting dwindling self consciousnes and social awkwardness, - all part of myregular repertoire - but now (b) for no reason whatsoever I am fighting against the development of an eating disorder, which is a new development in my crazy. I am in my late forties. WTH, brain? WHY? Why do I do this to myself?
  19. I’m back. I think the last time I posted I was just getting adjusted to tegretol. Well, it’s been a trip through hell and back, but I’m here. I landed at a new pdoc last September after I transferred with my company and couldn’t find a pdoc soon enough to refill my klonopin. Yes, klonopin, the worst drug ever. I went to the hospital, got a pdoc appointment the next day & so began the hell of being prescribed the wrong meds and trusting a doctor that seemed more concerned about billing as many patients as possible than helping people recover. I was in a depersonalized state when this started, but I didn’t know what it was. My dr put me on 400 mg tegretol and 1 mg klonopin. I instantly turned into a hungry zombie. Slowly the zombie fog lifted then autoimmune symptoms cropped up. Hair was falling out in clumps and handfuls. Skin was cracking and bleeding. Eczema everywhere. Dermatologist misdiagnosed me with dermatomyositis which scared me to death. I was told I may have lupus. No energy. Legs bleeding from scratching. And my 5 minute a session once a month pdoc kept me on tegretol and added 150mg lithium for depression. He transferred me to his private IOP. That was a cluster. The secretary was screwing up my appointments. I’d go and wait for counseling but the counselor was over booked so three hours later, I’d leave without seeing the counselor. The counselor made everything worse because she kept trying to get me to dig around my past trauma (which FYI every human being has), and it only made my anxiety and depersonalization worse. On all these meds I was rapid cycling, working very scattered and confused, taking on side work, becoming hypomanic and committing to something only to have panic attacks and flee. Finally, after the IOP secretary gave me a card with an appointment date for two weeks later than she actually wrote on the calendar, I had to wait two more weeks to see my pdoc...yeah, that was the last straw. I finally reached out to trusted friends with connections from their nursing jobs to get an appointment with a well respected pdoc. I just saw him. Keep in mind the past two weeks I’ve been rapid cycling and depersonalized and riddled with panic. I stopped taking tegretol and lithium because I just got worse. Oh did I mention last pdoc put me on doxepin for sleep? Wtf. It made me feel like a drugged, dirt hangover crawling out of my skin. Pdocs-stop giving rapid cycling bipolar patients antidepressants!! so here I am. Just saw new pdoc. He prescribed 25mg seroquel to sleep and stop random paranoia when I’m hypo. Gabapebtin at my request to heal my broken brain. Started on lamictal again which actually works for me and kept me on .5mg of klonopin. I’m seeing him once a week until we get me stabilized and ready to wean off klonopin. He instantly said my dizziness, confusion, scattered thinking, and dream like experiences were dissociation caused by severe anxiety and I’m highly sensitive and react paradoxically to medication. also, his office was very calming. I was the only patient there and when I left, another walked in. He saw me for over 30 minutes. my last pdoc literally had over 100 patients in his waiting room at all times. Standing room only. Lines around the corner to pay copays. Then he ran the IOP and would see 50 plus patients a night and also did rounds at a local hospital. Oh and he drove a 150k Mercedes. Hmm. all in all, I’m here. Seroquel knocked me out. I freaked myself out last night because I woke up around 3 am and my leg and arm were stiff in the air. Like I tried to get out of bed and just fell asleep again. I do like gabapebtin so far. Lamictal is fine I just need to titrate up. in all of this I’m concerned about my job. I’m an architect and the pressure cracked me up. Also, I’ve worked hard for years to fix my finances and buy a house. Of course, I finally did it and close on my house in a week. Great time to have a nervous breakdown. Because that’s what happened. My brain and central nervous system are fried and I just want to feel normal.
  20. I don’t know really how to talk about this or describe what’s going on but lately I’ve been really depressed and just really low except for a few occasions but after that I slip back down into this depression. Often I get very stressed or anxious over multiple things or sometimes I’ll just be really upset or sad and I want to cry so bad but I can’t. I just really want to cry and I’m not trying to hold it back but something is and it’s such a difficult thing and I don’t know why it happens. I feel weird saying that I want to cry but it just feels so good but whenever I need to I can’t.
  21. Hey! Just started Depakote 200 mg 5 days ago. Started getting really depressed and anxious on it right away and it’s only getting worse. Anyone else experienced this? Does it get better with time? Thinking it might be a start-up side effect, but i worry it’s going to continue. A lot of drugs in the same class have made me depressed in the past. Lamotrigine, lyrica, gabapentin, trileptal...
  22. Not to minimize having bipolar disorder in any way. But..........wanna have some fun? Just finish the sentence: You know your bipolar when............... I will start and if no one plays I will play myself. I am like that. You know your bipolar when.......you have been saying “I don’t know what I was thinking”your entire life. Like it should be a personal quote. Your turn
  23. I mean a whole different personality. I am getting really frustrated in my relationship. I am hyper active by nature or maybe just busy. I dont sit much and have all kinds of things I want to do. I do these things, I finish these things and feel accomplished. Obviously when I am depressed it's a different matter. That does not mean I am hypo. Hypo and Mania are on a whole different level compared to me struggling to sit still. However my hubs does not see it that way. Seems most of my emotions are part of being bipolar in his opinion. Seems he feels like he is the victim of my behaviors. Its a crock of shit. So we are in therapy and this is all showing through to the therapist. She has not done shit except validate that people are different on meds. Like personalities are different. I guess I am different, not who he married. He blames my meds. We have therapy today. I am ready to flip out. I mean what the hell does he want. Me manic, suicidal, depressed. Or me stable. Of course my meds make me different. They are making me well.
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