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  1. I'm mad as hell! And toothbrushes and shit.

    The amount of bullshit that we have to swallow often goes unnoticed because it's so ubiquitous. But a couple of days ago I saw something which made me see through the matrix. It was an ad for a toothbrush. "Brush like a pro" it said. What the fuck does that even mean? I assume that all of us have been brushing our teeth all our lives and didn't know that we were mere amateurs at the art. For there exists a professional way to brush your teeth. The dictionary defines 'professional' as 'engaged in a specified activity as one's main paid occupation rather than as an amateur.' So there are apparently 'professionals' out there who are earning a living by brushing their teeth. And like with most professions, I imagine that they had to go to College and learn how to brush their teeth from a wizened old professor, who at first appears to be a real hard arse, but who really has a good heart and is really trying to do his best by his students. In the film version he could be played by Tom Hanks. He'd be mentoring some kid from the ghettos, who's a natural tooth brusher. One of the best. But he has some issues to work through before he can become the best damn tooth brusher that the world has ever seen, which Tom Hanks will help with because he used to be a contender in the world of professional tooth brushing but let it slip away. And Tom Hanks is seeking his own redemption by teaching this kid how to brush his teeth. Fucking epic!
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