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Found 42 results

  1. Since I've been on Effexor for 7 months, I've had zero emotional depressive symptoms (like the crying, sadness etc) negative ruminations have lessened, no anxiety whatsoever either... Issue is, I've become more & more lethargic. I sleep a full 10 hours per night and then I cannot get out of bed. I'm not really tired, I just literally cannot get myself to do anything. I am super content just laying in bed for hours. I read crap online for hours, I often take 2 hour naps in afternoon. It pains me to take a shower & go outside. I procrastinate on work/everything... I avoid doing things I need to do just so i can lay in bed! No interest, motivation, pleasure in anything. How can I light a "fire under my ass" again? The same issue happens with other meds that work for depression, but then they cause this! And no, my doc won't increase my Ritalin (which I have a tolerance to & it stopped working). She won't put me on any other stimulants which seem to be the only thing that help me in this state. Yes, I've tried Abilify add-on...not sure if I want to keep adding more meds or if there something better I can switch out in my situation? Seems my choice is to either be emotionally depressed or a complete apathetic sloth!!! Any ideas?
  2. First off, I'm aware people here sometimes have issues when switching from Brand med to Generic. My pdoc started me on a Generic Venlafaxine, (maybe she didn't want there to be an issue at a later date, in case I wasn't given the specific Effexor name brand everytime, I guess)? I started on 37.5mg Mylan tab, and as I increased, not sure if it changed. Last 4 months, I was taking 150mg (in 1 tab pill), (can't remember the name). Anyway, I am completely confused!! I've been on different generic manufacturers and different formulations (sometimes I go to a different pharmacy, due to stock, they sometimes give me 2 75mg doses, instead of 150mg). I'm not sure even which manufacturer/brand I've been taking the longest, as I don't save the packages. However, I have noticed this last week, I've been on a different pill than months prior. I am definitely feeling different (much more tired, LAZY, spacey and sweaty) I compared my current pill (Peach, 2 dose 75mg Pfizer Venlafaxine Capsules with individual beads) to a previous one (White, Mylan Venlafaxine, it's a hard tablet inside a capsule?). I've never been on the capsule with individual beads version (usually only the hard tab). I don't know the difference between these formulations (capsule with beads versus hard tabs)!! I'm assuming there would be a huge difference in the release mechanism and absorption of the drug right? I'm not sure what to do, or which specific manufacturer/name to request now....I also read that only XR formulation exists (no instant) so all of these should be extended, right? Which ones have the best reputation?
  3. I’ve been on Effexor the last 3-4 months, I haven’t felt anxious at all, or depressed. Seems great right? I increased a week ago (to 150mg), and since, It’s increasingly difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I sleep really well, I don’t feel tired. I just feel soooo comfortable, relaxed, calm, cozy and content that I just lay in bed for an extra 3 hours. My mind empty. The last few days, I’ve been completely shirking off/avoiding all responsibilities: called in sick to work twice, skipped my courses, just to lay around in my pjs and do nothing! WTF? I No desire to socialize, haven't showered the last 2 days...It reminds me when I was on Celexa - I became so lazy/apathetic/disinterested that I had to discontinue. Is there such a thing as “too much serotonin?” Maybe I should just wait things out, until I get used to it? I feel like I need to increase my stimulant & drink extra coffee just to light a fire under my @ss.
  4. During misdiagnosis days, Effexor destroyed my life when I was barely 21. Severe mania, severe adhd, blackouts, being manipulated by psychopathic friends, and ruination all around. And PSSD (least of my issues then). Fixed (somehow) by 23 or so. At 29, tried lamotrigine. Further destroying my hair much like Adderall did. Tried finasteride - ruined my life (last year). Fixing now... or trying to. Literally made my face look different and caused things that look like hypogonadism. If you are healthy - stay away from such drugs especially if you already have neurodevelopmental/neuropsychiatric disorders. I'm sure a lot of pro-med people here will disagree, but I have family members who are no more intelligent than me who are married with kids, and making 800k-2million a year. The difference between us isn't that I didn't work hard nor is it a lack of ability/intelligence. It's that I spent my 20's in hell, fixed it, was lured to try another med. Though dexedrine was working -- and no doctor believes lamotrigine can cause hair loss. And trust me: Drug-caused illness is even worse. If ADHD and Bipolar (and both) have increased suicide risks, what about adding a disease that no one knows about, that doctors don't believe in (at all), that changes one's genitals, eyes, eyesight, face, and ability to function? I'm lucky in that I've seen a lot of shyt in my life and am a fighter. Others (plenty have committed suicide) would be gone. I was close at times - thanks to finasteride. I was bedridden. I won't write here again, until I'm better. By the way some of those family members I have are physicians, and trust me they don't "get PSSD", nor "PFS" (post finasteride syndrome). So if I was alone before... Well I was better off without taking lamotrigine and for sure finasteride. Fin inhibited UTG1A4 which metabolizes Lamotrigine or perhaps it was neurosteroid depletion which caused Lamo to stop working while I was on it. I have neuro, psyche, and physical symptoms (like 20) because of this. It isn't in my head. I can literally see my picture from right before I quit to quitting finasteride, my eyes look different. My vision also is different, and I think slower. I'm getting a bit better - but I need it cured asap. Fuck all this.
  5. I was taking prozac for depression, .5mg klonopin daily for GAD, and lithium orotate for suicidal thoughts. I take rozerem at night for non24 sleep phase disorder. The prozac stopped working and so my pdoc switched me to lexapro but it made me exhausted all the time- i basically would sleep, wake up, eat a little, go back to sleep... after two weeks she’s switching me over to effexor instead. I am starting at the lowest dose, but I’m not sure when to take it- is this going to be a morning pill? right now i take the lithium and rozerem at bedtime, and was taking prozac, klonopin and then the lexapro in the morning. I switched to taking the lexapro at night when i relized how exhausted it was making me. still, i slept all day and night. so effexor- i’ve read enough to know it’s an snri, and it’s a bitch to climb back off of. and it can take up to a month to work? is there anything else about this combo i should know, or does anyone have experience with these meds together? i’m diagnosed with depression with psychotic features (since the 90s), general anxiety (past five years), non24 SPD, and chronic suicidal ideation. I know the non24 is the weird one, but I’ve found ways to set up my life/work schedule to manage it- i’m not sleep deprived. any thoughts would be great, i’m a relative newcomer to being medicated- i’ve only had access to a pdoc regularly dor the last three or four years, before that it was just urgent care or ER, random doctors trying to treat me.
  6. I'm on 75mg Effexor (just under 2 weeks) and I feel incredibly spaced out. I don't feel at all depressed or any anxiety, just borderline numb and "not there." My mind is an empty void & ruminations gone, but I literally feel so detached, listless. I'm continuously zoning out during the day, and in conversation. I'm struggling to spell some words (something I'm usually very good at). I could just lay around and stare at the tv like a sloth. This is sooo not me. I've had this same effect from other antidepressants (hence why I usually end up going off them). Is this effect dose-dependent? Like, if I increase to 150mg will I feel less "tranced", more motivated or will this numbness & detachment increase even more so that I don't care about anything or anyone?? I thought the SNRI's were less likely to cause this?
  7. I'll just preface this with info: I've tried about 30 different meds, many combos, including Cymbalta in the past (3 yrs, mixed results), It didn't greatly improve my depression, mainly made me numb, sweaty, nauseous, a bit restless/wired with sleep issues. The crazy withdrawals if I took a bit late were horrendous, so went off. Despite this, my pdoc really wants me to start Effexor (even though withdrawal is even worse). Can someone please reassure me that it worked well for you? My symptoms are: chronic, treatment-resistant depression (with some crying/mood lability), very intrusive negative ruminations, anhedonia). Is it really worth trying despite my unremarkable/mixed experience w/ Cymbalta, and fear about withdrawal syndrome? Also what were the negatives for you (i.e any weight gain, anxiety, restlessness, paranoia, insomnia?) Thanks all.
  8. Hi, names Hibiki. Ive been struggling for 7+ years with Trichotillomania, Depression, ADD, Anxiety (agoraphobia , panic disorder, disassociation, etc), OCD (obsessive thoughts). im currently on so many meds due to my age (17) (no narcotics due to me being underage.) and my insurance being the shittiest ever. Im currently taking regularly: •Zoloft •Buspar •Effexor •Seroquel ive ran out of all options for medications so they threw me on effexor and although my anxiety has been absolutely crucial this past year and a half (3 attacks lasting 1 month +) ive noticed a strange effect pop up these last few days. So currently I feel like im here but not here. Like everything looks weird, almost like im watching life go by through a screen. Im unable to fully concentrate on anything and i just feel exhausted. I feel like im not here but i know i am. Semi like a zombie,? Its kinda like disassociating but with my eyes. Everyone i know just looks different and everything is just strange,.. i was holding my baby brother and didnt feel like i actually was? I was talking and walking and id just suddenly stop and space out. Everything just feels distant. It also comes in waves, i will feel normal for a bit and then WHAM it attacks me from around the corner just like my panic attacks. I literally cannot explain what i feel but what is this?? Anyone else kinda feel the same?? the thing is a month ago my doctor prescribed me Effexor and she told me it would take a month to get in my system, and i feel like this is a negitive effect from it. Including my memory loss . And all ive heard is negitive reviews. So im starting to panic, like horribly. Im scared im going to feel like this forever and idk what to do? Im an artist and i can no longer draw due to this and its making me worry.
  9. Since Trintillex had absolutely no effect (on my anhedonia), my pdoc suggested Effexor. I'm very wary about Effexor due to the horrible withdrawals I had with Cymbalta 10 years ago. I don't remember it helping me much, not worth the withdrawals. If I missed 1 dose by mistake, I would be a trembling mess with full-on brain zaps, anxiety, crying spells, the works... I have tried all of the SSRI's and most make me numb, tired & kill libido. These meds help acute depression, but what about for stable-ongoing low mood-anhedonia? Like when you feel no excitement/joy in anything? Effexor has an even shorter half-life than Cymbalta, which worries me. Question: Will Effexor help symptoms of anhedonia, low mood, low motivation? What was the main difference you felt between the two? (did they feel relatively the same, or did one work much better with less/different side effects??)
  10. I was wondering about this, as my PDoc didn't seem too concerned with it. I was on 300mg Effexor XR for about 5 years, over the last year I've gone from 300mg to 75mg or so mostly successfully, but lately I've been dragging along. I can easily sleep 12 hours a day, I'm still managing to get to work, but I'm exhausted beyond belief and only have windows of feelings myself. I was wondering if withdrawals to drugs like these can last for months, or even years? Especially having been on them for so long....
  11. So Effexor XR is the best medication I've taken for my problems which combined anxiety disorders, panic disorder, and obsessions. It has also helped with depression that inevitably follows these... So I know the SSRIs/SNRIs are notorious for this side effect, I was just wondering how other users deal with this problem as this can be difficult to talk about with peers and even doctors? I don't even like posting this here, I just don't know what to do. I was on Effexor XR for about 5 years at 300mg, last year I came down to 150mg, and currently I'm on 75mg. Luckily I've felt pretty stable and been maintaining well. However, my libido has been transient and pretty much nonexistent at times. I've tried several things, from abstaining for weeks at a time to OTC libido boosters....Oddly enough I felt my libido was actually higher on high dosages of the Effexor. Possibly to do with the Norepinephrine/Dopamine push? Anyways I asked my Pdoc about it finally and he said he script me Viagra or Wellbutrin. Neither of which I'm very fond of doing. I have a bottle of Wellbutrin sitting on my dresser right now that I haven't started yet because I've heard it can make anxiety issues worse and the fact I could be adding another side effect (truthfully I don't want to start another medication and go through that again) The Wellbutrin is a last resort right now....I don't feel like I should be having these issues at 34 and it has been very distressing as you can imagine... So I'm asking people out there how they dealt with sexual side effects on Effexor, post-effexor, or on other SSRIs if you've had experience with the Sexual side effects? Is the only option to stop Effexor to remove this side effect?
  12. I'm 40 now. One time I was 22 and knew I needed help so I went to a therapist and she gave me herbal pills and acupuncture. Me, I still wanted to die and I knew there was SOMETHING out there but alas, moms insurance. Needless to say I became more depressed and sat in the cellar of a goth club staring at the wall for 5 years. Numb n drunk. Poverty did not enable me to seek meds but there was a clinical trial for Viibryd in 2012 which I did for three months along with Trazadone. It helped me get out of a dead end life im Seattle with a BPD type (you know how us codependants roll) and move to California. Must've not been a placebo since the withdrawal cold turkey was a week. Fast forward to Obamacare and asked for Citalopram. Big mistake. Called in sick to work,sweating like a crackhead and bipolar like behavior. Tried Buproprion. No side effects but didn't really *do* anything. Sooo....Cymbalta for 5 weeks and I just get more exhausted every second, take two naps a day on top of 8 hours of sleep. I dont have the fibro but do have back pain (DDD) I stuck with it, wouldn't you say? I even doubled the dosage to 120 which made sleepy times worse. I didn't suffer any side effects except the sleepy part. So go to shrink and he immediately wants to start me on generic Venalaxifine 35. whatever to 75 in two days. I asked about stimulants like Vyvanse or Adderall but he refused, though he was just fine prescribing Xanax and this Lorazapam. SO: Anyone had any luck doing this crossover. If it gives me at least more of a boost than Cymbalta, which just made me want to buy flowers and eat ice cream and pass out every three minutes, I would love to hear your experiences. Sorry so long, am newbie, and lonely in this waking dream🎃
  13. I'm 40 now. One time I was 22 and knew I needed help so I went to a therapist and she gave me herbal pills and acupuncture. Me, I still wanted to die and I knew there was SOMETHING out there but alas, moms insurance. Needless to say I became more depressed and sat in the cellar of a goth club staring at the wall for 5 years. Numb n drunk. Poverty did not enable me to seek meds but there was a clinical trial for Viibryd in 2012 which I did for three months along with Trazadone. It helped me get out of a dead end life im Seattle with a BPD type (you know how us codependants roll) and move to California. Must've not been a placebo since the withdrawal cold turkey was a week. Fast forward to Obamacare and asked for Citalopram. Big mistake. Called in sick to work,sweating like a crackhead and bipolar like behavior. Tried Buproprion. No side effects but didn't really *do* anything. Sooo....Cymbalta for 5 weeks and I just get more exhausted every second, take two naps a day on top of 8 hours of sleep. I dont have the fibro but do have back pain (DDD) I stuck with it, wouldn't you say? I even doubled the dosage to 120 which made sleepy times worse. I didn't suffer any side effects except the sleepy part. So go to shrink and he immediately wants to start me on generic Venalaxifine 35. whatever to 75 in two days. I asked about stimulants like Vyvanse or Adderall but he refused, though he was just fine prescribing Xanax and this Lorazapam. SO: Anyone had any luck doing this crossover. If it gives me at least more of a boost than Cymbalta, which just made me want to buy flowers and eat ice cream and pass out every three minutes, I would love to hear your experiences. Sorry so long, am newbie, and lonely in this waking dream🎃
  14. I'm 40 now. One time I was 22 and knew I needed help so I went to a therapist and she gave me herbal pills and acupuncture. Me, I still wanted to die and I knew there was SOMETHING out there but alas, moms insurance. Needless to say I became more depressed and sat in the cellar of a goth club staring at the wall for 5 years. Numb n drunk. Poverty did not enable me to seek meds but there was a clinical trial for Viibryd in 2012 which I did for three months along with Trazadone. It helped me get out of a dead end life im Seattle with a BPD type (you know how us codependants roll) and move to California. Must've not been a placebo since the withdrawal cold turkey was a week. Fast forward to Obamacare and asked for Citalopram. Big mistake. Called in sick to work,sweating like a crackhead and bipolar like behavior. Tried Buproprion. No side effects but didn't really *do* anything. Sooo....Cymbalta for 5 weeks and I just get more exhausted every second, take two naps a day on top of 8 hours of sleep. I dont have the fibro but do have back pain (DDD) I stuck with it, wouldn't you say? I even doubled the dosage to 120 which made sleepy times worse. I didn't suffer any side effects except the sleepy part. So go to shrink and he immediately wants to start me on generic Venalaxifine 35. whatever to 75 in two days. I asked about stimulants like Vyvanse or Adderall but he refused, though he was just fine prescribing Xanax and this Lorazapam. SO: Anyone had any luck doing this crossover. If it gives me at least more of a boost than Cymbalta, which just made me want to buy flowers and eat ice cream and pass out every three minutes, I would love to hear your experiences. Sorry so long, am newbie, and lonely in this waking dream🎃
  15. I have run the gammit for SNRI/SRIs in the last 18 years. Most I cannot tolerate. A year ago I started Lamictal for treatment resistant depression. I have depression and generalized anxiety. The Lamictal initially worked great for both! However, about 6 months into it my anxiety resurfaced. The anxiety is so bad that I have trouble driving/riding on the highway because I'm afraid we're going to have a terrible accident. I am in constant fear that something bad will happen to my loved ones or my pets. I have to check everything in my home 2-3 times because I'm terrified my house will be broken into. I've started exhibiting signs of OCD. I am in therapy. Since starting the Lamictal, I've tried Lexapro (nonstop headaches for 2 weeks that I just couldn't take it anymore), Neurontin (didn't work at all), Lyrica (up to 100 mg now-takes the edge off but not completely), Seroquel (made me so angry-like a total personality change and felt pressure in my chest) and propranolol (did nothing). My neurologist had suggested going back on Effexor for my migraine headaches. I took it for 9 months but it seemed to exacerbate my anxiety. I'm currently on 200 mg of Lamictal. I am super frustrated! I feel like my pshychiatrist is throwing meds at me & she's more or less told me we don't have a lot of options left and talked about compounds of Klonipin or herbal remedies. I guess my question is: should I start over from scratch? I've read others comments that said Lamictal caused them to have anxiety. Lamictal works for my depression but my anxiety tends to depress me because it just wears me out and I feel at the end of my rope! Or is there something else I can add? Ive tried: Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Lyrica, Neurontin, Seroquel, Propanolol, Lexapro, Effexor Please give me your thoughts!
  16. I took Effexor for one day and experienced horrible side effects - vomiting, sweating, nausea, shaking, sleepiness. That was three days ago, but since then I've been sleeping all the time and am still shaky. Has anyone else experienced something like this after only one dose?
  17. Has anyone been on Pristiq and Seroquel at the same time? Or Effexor and Seroquel? I was just prescribed Seroquel (25mg morn + 25mg noon + 100mg night) after being on Pristiq (100mg daily) for three months with little improvement in refractory depression. I am nervous about starting Seroquel. I want to have hope but *sigh* after all the meds I've tried I kind of gave up on that.
  18. Has anyone ever had any experience with this mixture? I can find info about any two of those mixed together but not all three.... Any suggestions on something that might work to combine the depression and anxiety into one that mixes with Adderall well?
  19. Hey there, new user here. My doctor started me on Effexor XR, 37.5mg once a day. I took my first dose today around 5, after a couple days reading up on it. I don't know if my mind is just making it seem like I'm having side effects already or what, so I was just curious if anyone experienced the side effects a couple hours after taking it as well. I feel like I'm already getting sweaty, and my vision seems to be getting blurry as well. My heart also won't stop pounding but that could just be because I'm worried about starting the medication. Any feed back would be nice, as well as your personal experiences with it over all. The doctor also prescribed me propanalol to take as needed when I feel anxious and I haven't seen many stories of experiences with it for anxiety, so thoughts on that would be nice as well. Thank youuuu
  20. Hi. I'm sorry this is long. My question is at the end... I just switched from Strattera (non-stimulant ADHD medication) & 175 mg Effexor XR to 100 mg Pristiq. (Why? My new psychiatrist thought that Pristiq would reduce the Effexor side-effects (reduced libido, weight gain) and improve my mood. Effexor had initially improved my mood. After 5 months, I didn't think that the Strattera was doing anything for me; psychiatrist plans to add new ADHD medication in April after the transition from Effexor to Pristine.) I'd experienced Effexor withdrawal effects in the past, after 1-2 missed doses, but the doctor didn't think that the Effexor withdrawal would be a big deal now because Pristiq is so similar. As prescribed, the first week I went down to 75 mg Effexor XR and started 50 mg Pristiq. The first few days were ok (no brain zaps). Mild headache. Relief that I didn't feel worse. Day 4 I noticed that I was extremely anxious, scatter-brained, impulsive, and emotional. I don't know how much was a horrible PTA meeting i attended, and how much my symptoms made the meeting worse (I mean, SOMEONE had to tell the school principal that she was way out of line, or at least, I did...). I also had PMS; and I'm 45. That's a bad combo. Day 5 I was terribly down. Day 6 I had a unprecedented severe headache. Shut the curtains and stayed under the covers with ice. The headache became milder that evening. I've continued to have headaches ever since, ranging from mild to painful. Day 8 I stopped taking any Effexor and increased the Pristiq to 100 mg as prescribed. This is day 11. I spent half the day in bed due to bad headache. Mood very low -- tearful. I took 2 Sudafed in case the headache was sinus-related. Did nothing. (Same amount of acetaminophen as 2 extra-strength tylenol.) This afternoon I ate breakfast and then had a coffee -- my headache suddenly settled with the coffee, but now my heart is pounding. Tired of my own negativity and symptoms. Tired of accomplishing nothing and feeling bad about it. The headache has been very sensitive to light. Mostly stronger on one side than the other. Typically strongest behind one eye and running behind one ear. Sometimes in back at the base of my skull. My questions are: Is ongoing headache likely related to stopping Effexor (and Strattera), in which case it will hopefully eventually stop? Or is this a side-effect of the Pristiq? (Or maybe coincidence, but I don't know that I've ever had a headache for at least 6 days before. Maybe.) Would one have Effexor withdrawal symptoms despite replacing it with Pristiq? For those with Pristiq headache side-effect, has it gone away? Do people experience Straterra withdrawal symptoms? Thanks. (PS I take 7 mg zopiclone for sleep each night.)
  21. I'm being treated for anxiety and borderline personality disorder. I switched from Escitalopram to Effexor last October. I also take Lamotrigine and Seroquel (as a sleep aid). Since I started Effexor I have had a significant increase in the overall quality of my mood. I felt happiness more often. My depression didn't get as dark. I felt suicidal less often. However, since starting Effexor I have had side-effects that I cannot stand and are getting worse. I have acne for the first time in my life, at 27. I gained 15 lbs and I cannot reduce it. I retain water like crazy, my hands and feet are always swollen. My anxiety has gotten worse and I am nervous about things I have never worried about before. I feel edgy and tense all the time. I feel very depersonalized and unable to relate to people. I don't feel the real desire to do things. I feel very flat, hollow, and apathetic about many things. The worst side-effects are memory loss and an inability to concentrate. I constantly drop words, forget names, forget why I am at certain places, and so on. I used to have a very good memory, but now I cannot recall many experiences, or else I cannot get the dates straight, or the people. I cannot work or get anything done at all in just one day because I have no attention span. I cannot concentrate on one thing. I do activities during my day in spurts of about 20 minutes. Most things don't get done and eventually get forgotten. I am useless for anything productive. ~ ~ ~ I will be having a medication evaluation with a psychiatrist this week. I will be talking to them about the mystery of why I am still on Lamotrigine when no one knows who put me on it or why, but I also want to stop Effexor and try something else. The problem is that I have heard of Effexor being a very difficult drug to stop. I have only been on it for 8 months. However, I am also enrolled in mental health programs aimed to help me with my problems, which will require me to be stable enough to handle, as well as able to get out the door. Is it worth it to stop Effexor and try something else, or should I try to stick it out longer until my programs are done?
  22. *Hello. I'm brand new and researching certain drugs in relation to a personal tragedy and checked out a few threads on this forum about adverse reactions and interactions. I am not a "troll" and not interested in drug wars. I am in search of answers, understanding, and knowledge in the event of a lawsuit. I hope you will carefully consider my (probably too lengthy) story for a forum seriously, especially if you are experiencing similar effects. Actually, if I start with the backstory I'll end up tangenting too much to get the point out so let's get that out of the way first. My former husband and son's father was an Iraq war vet who served 6 years with assorted combat medals and a pretty secure position. Prior to military, while a genuinely good guy with a wry wit and higher than usual intelligence, was still plagued with the most exasperating, homicidal rage inducing (for everyone else dealing with it) financial irresponsibility and poor impulse control. We had a child together long before we married because I couldn't respect anyone who can't grow up and take care of their responsibilities. Aside from our issues trying to corral his immaturity to be a proper parent, we never fought, argued or had any negative, abusive, dysfunctional relationship. We were close friends who saw the world the same way. My beef with him was his penchant for escapism and blowing money instead of focusing on security for his child's welfare. Partly why he joined the military. We married after his enlistment and for the duration, life went well. No issues. He returned, his Army stint over with, but he returned more of a shell of who he was when he went in. Nothing problematic. In fact, he seemed more calm and soldier-esque, disciplined. And we had no further financial issues...until he reunited with his civilian buddies welcoming him back. I began to see him drinking a little more but never anything over the top. Within a year of his return, however, we had an amicable separation that resulted in him having no "supervision" anymore - military or myself and left to his own devices, literally blew through our joint savings to overdrafting hundreds of dollars that continued for weeks until I finally convinced our bank to lock it down. He went AWOL in civilian life and later claimed he'd suddenly felt abandoned and alone, some was fear, some was anger, some was devastation, and some was spite. We officially divorced and he was on the hook for support. I won by default, though we'd been in contact and were otherwise amicable again in spite of it. He knew he screwed up and copped to it. He relocated to the PNW and began or continued treatment at [edited specific locations] VAs. He seemed to be getting better, at least as far as employment goes. Got a killer job making a nice salary but couldn't manage his money and was constantly dropping the ball with financial support for his child. It resulted in us losing everything - literally, to homelessness. He was constantly gambling and robbing Peter AND Paul to pay child support. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, realized he'll always be irresponsible and can't be bothered to support his child or even participate in his life, in spite of his continued claims otherwise. So I opted to disconnect entirely and drop contact. Life was calm and pleasant for nearly a year. In late April '14, I guess I felt sentimental and ended up calling him to check in, see how he was doing and the call seemed to resurrect things. He was doing better, claimed he was in treatment for PTSD, depression, talked to his shrink about us, our relationship, Iraq, and that he wasn't happy with the meds...they made him feel dull, indifferent, didn't feel anything at all. I suggested he stop taking them and he said it'd be better if he weened off and would probably speak to his doctors to lower the dosage since they weren't working. If he stopped cold turkey it could make things worse. He didn't want to shoot up a school. In the end, we'd opened dialogue about my son and I moving to where he was, trying a co-parenting arrangement, and potentially remarrying. Not out of romance (we weren't really there but were still close friends). We began making plans for the relocation and since he'd left us destitute being a "loser" he agreed to send more money to either get us there or to fly to us and we drive to the PNW together. These plans were open from the end of April through the end of June. Then he began dodging me and I figured something happened. He sent an email at the end of June finally admitting he went gambling and blew 2 grand trying to double it so we could get there sooner and have money for our son's birthday in August. When he lost it all he was ashamed and figured I'd be livid so he steered clear til he felt he could face me. I was and responded that it'll never stop...and if he just admits he really doesn't care for his child and doesn't want to be a parent, acknowledge it for real (instead of sabotage, escapism and absenteesim) then I'll let him off the hook, close the door and we'll go our separate ways. He refused and agreed to work it out...but wanted me to understand he was "just fucked up" and was trying to get it worked out. In early August, our son turned 16. He never even called to wish him Happy Birthday, never sent him a gift, never did anything at all after getting him excited about moving up there. All along though, which I chalked up to too much Forensic Files, I had the worst uneasy vibe that Oregon is full of death, that we might end up victims of a murder suicide or something and inwardly was kind of relieved he screwed it up and we weren't going. In late August, I learned he was dead. As information began trickling in, I learned he'd taken his own life and as far as I was concerned, good riddance. He'd rather choose death than be a father, than choose his child - I had no sympathy and vowed to delete him entirely from my reality. This was the most selfish, unconscionable thing he's ever done. My son was disappointed and pissed, feeling that his father was broken and weak...it fit, really. I did file several of the standard claims on behalf of our son though and a little SSA payment began to arrive a few months later. As angry as I was at him, I could not shake the reality that this was out of the blue. He's never been suicidal a day in his life, nor for as long as I knew him. And he didn't sound suicidal when we spoke or made plans. Even our son winced and said, "It doesn't seem like him to do that..." it wasn't him. I had to accept that PTSD played a role and I have no real idea what he'd experienced during and post military so it could be that he was and I just wasn't as close anymore and missed it. Eventually I received the ME report and read over it...initially finding that he'd apparently tried to attempt it several times through 2014. First in mid April which was surprising because he'd been released April 22 within days of my contacting him and while he acknowledged "treatment" (though he'd been in treatment since 2011 at other VAMCs) he never mentioned attempted suicide. After reading his several failed attempts and because the person I always knew was not suicidal "for real" I couldn't help wonder if it was a spinal tap of attempts to maybe show the VA he needed a higher disability rating or something and the last time, it actually worked. In a tragic comical way, he was pretending to be suicidal and then it actually accidentally worked. Or maybe he pissed someone off - someone in his life I had no knowledge of - and they drugged him and faked a suicide. It was so out of character I even wondered if a relative of his got fed up with being owed a ton of money due to his gambling debts they just put him out of their misery. He just wasn't suicidal. Yet the ME report described a very undeniably clear course of thought out behavior to end his life...and if he chose this option over us, his child, so be it. We were done. We tried to move on best we could and it was more recently that I sat down and actually read the ME report more thoroughly and it suddenly illuminated the truth. The ME report and description included details about the events of 2014 beginning with the first incident. He'd been feeling suicidal and voluntarily admitted himself in the VA for help. The VA let him stay until he "sobered up" basically, prescribed antidepressants and sent him home. On his way home he pulled over, ingested a bunch of prescription meds and endured a failed attempt. When he came to, he called 911 and later requested transport to the VA where he'd been treated for PTSD. This time he was admitted to the psych ward, detoxed, prescribed more drugs, diagnosed with alcohol induced mood disorder, told to stop drinking and sent on his way. The next failed attempt was early August, 2 days after our son's birthday. [edited out by mod because details specific suicide details]. He drove himself back to the VA and admitted himself. He requested in patient treatment and it was denied. Instead, the VA prescribed new antidepressants, sent him to group therapy, and released him when he was no longer an immediate threat. Within 4 days of his release, he drove to a rest stop and took his life[edited by mod due to specific means]. The thing I did not catch initially was that though he'd been prescribed sertraline (Zoloft) and told to continue it, they also added Zoloft (sertraline), Desyrel (trazodone), Vistaril (hydroxyzine), Lunesta (eszopiclone), and Baclofen, that he'd been taking for awhile, the only drug found in his system aside from [other thing used to die] had been Venlafaxine. There was nothing else but that. After researching all of these medications, their combined interactions proved to ultimately lead an otherwise sound and clear minded person seeking help for PTSD down the road to suicide. Though he'd been financially irresponsible and escapist since we met, he was never *suicidal* until he began being treated by both [edited out names] VA med centers. They pumped him so full of antidepressants, several of which have clear warnings against being administered to anyone with a history of suicide thoughts or attempts that his entire ability for clear thinking and rational judgment was impaired. The side effects of feeling dull, indifferent, dead, no edge, confused, anxious, unable to sleep...were all things he described feeling. He repeatedly told them these meds were not working. Instead of monitoring his intake, under supervision, they upped his dosage and added more to the list. The last one, venlafaxine has the FDA warning of intensifying and aggravating suicidal behavior. I realized that he did not just opt out to be a selfish loser, same old same old. He was a victim. The [mod edited out specific hospitals] VAMCs in Oregon killed him. Another casualty of incompetence, negligence, lies, and ineptitude and an overloading of drugs that should not only never have been combined but prescribed to begin with - all of them clearly carrying warnings they should not be given to those with suicidal depression. He didn't OD. He did not mix anything with beer. He did not take uncharacteristic dosage. PTSD didn't even play a part one way or another. It was all venlafaxine. A fatal suicide success story courtesy of [edited] VAMC. He took what was prescribed and it fatally impaired his entire ability to behave rationally. He was NEVER suicidal until [VAMC] began drugging him. If you have been prescribed any combination of these (and add Prozac, he was on that too for awhile), and particularly if you are being treated by the VA for PTSD or anything else, please, please be mindful that if you weren't suicidal before being a patient there, then you are being slowly murdered. They are not helping you, they are killing you. The next VA asswipe who thanks me for his service is getting throat punched. They killed my child's father. He repeatedly tried to get help. He wanted more significant treatment, in patient and was refused. He voluntarily admitted himself, called 911, drove himself to get help...which is a glaring factual reality that wen he sobered up, he was not suicidal at all - just as the reality that he was quite sober from the end of April through June - and while planning for our trip to where he was there's conspicuously no further attempts after April until he screwed up in late June. He did NOT want to die. He WANTED help and he was too wrecked to realize he'd sought help from the very people who were slowly killing him all along. I can appreciate sentiments being sorry for our loss, and thanks for that but I'm here to spread a very real warning. These drugs to not help you. They will be your downfall. Best of luck. Lexi
  23. Hey guys I'm relatively new here. I've been on many different medications and med combinations in the past. So just curious if any of you have ever been on a cocktail similar to mine. So far it has worked wonders. I've been on this combination for months. The weight gain from the remeron was hard to deal with, but eating better and exercise helped that, and the munchies I got from it became less and less over time. I'm on Propranolol instant release 80mg 3 times a day (I used to take this 3 times a day, but now have weaned myself down to once a day when needed. The whole idea of taking a 'heart medication' still sketches me out. But apparently propranolol has a low side effect profile, I think? Lol) Gabepentin 300mg 3 times a day (however my doc for some reason gives me a monthly script of 270 300mg pills) Remeron 30mg at night Effexor ER 150mg in the Am ( apparently the combo of effexor and remeron is called 'California rocket fuel') A little bit about me. I have depression and generalized anxiety, and currently being tested for possible bipolar disorder. I have had severe substance abuse issues in the past so I have to go the non narcotic route.
  24. Something I've always been curious about. Shouldn't the norepinephrine reuptake feature be stimulating? It seems like drugs such as Effexor get more complaints of severe fatigue than SSRI'S
  25. Newbie here... Here's my history... Had a head injury as a child, had to relearn everything. For the next 6 years or so had majoy personality changes, from crying hysterical or laughing uncontrollably... My pdoc said something about ppl who have head injurys are 75% more likely to have depression and personality disorders all their life. Anyway... Ive been on anti depression meds since I was prob in high school. Tried everything at one point or another. Had a complete hysterectomy in Feb and since then my brain has turned to mush. Been having behavioral, issues with my son too. Could just be puberty, not sure. Trying to get him in now to get tested for ADHD, but have to have referral, etc, taking forever. I won't go off on his issues right now. Dr tried me on Adderall. I told her I really don't think I have ADHD, but she showed me a chart with the inattentive kind, sounds just like me. She also said it is used for drug resistant depression. I've been on it 5 months now and I love it. I can concentrate, focus, and get stuff done I never could before. I am also on Celexa 40 mg, I was on it before even starting the Adderall, but I think it has stopped working. Lately I have been really depressed. Not sure if I'm just unhappy in my marriage or the Celexa has stopped. I have a great marriage, everything is wonderful there, so I don't know why I feel this way. I get irritated a lot. By the time hubby comes home from work, I am in a crappy mood from the kids aggravating me. My pdoc was gonna try me on Fetzima, but at the time the Celexa was working and I didn't wanna try anything new. Now I am ready to, but my insurance doesn't cover it, which I will be losing that insurance at the end of this year anyway, and not sure if we will be able to get any, so I couldn't afford it anyway. Effexor XR was another one I was going to try once, but didn't wanna try anything new. Also read about it and was scared to try it after reading about withdrawal symptoms and possibility of seizures. I haven't had any seizures since I was a child, from the head injury. Then at 19 I had one from Wellbutrin. Trying to get in to see pdoc soon, but in the meantime wantewd to see it anyone had any advice. I really don't wanna feel this way and risk saying or doing something to wreck my marriage. We have a great life, and I don't know why I'm so unhappy with it. A majority of my depressin comes from being a stay at home mom, having no friends, or no one to talk to other than kids. Sometimes i feel like I really need a break, just to start driving and stay gone a day or 2. I won't, bc too many ppl need me for too much, it just gets very overwhelming at times. Anyway...advice? words of whisdom? or just a big STFU and get over it? lol
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