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Found 3 results

  1. Some of my voices tell me their names, and they refer to each other by those names. But the names they use are those of people I have known. I think they intentionally do this as part of an ongoing attempt to induce me to make mistakes and incorrectly think they are humans. But why would an hallucination(s) have motives? Furthermore, they actually acknowledge that they do have motives. Often, their stated motive is to cause me to have what they call “a hang-over”, which is a term they use that describes the problems that occur in the real world after misattributing their identity. For example, if I am psychotic or stressed, or if I am reality checking for some reason, I might react to who they ‘say’ they are by posting something incriminating, embarrassing or defamatory on Facebook. But having motives is not the only surprising and inexplicable trait my voices have. They also plan things, they have meetings, and one of them runs a training school in which I am the subject that the students (other voices) use to practice cruelty towards. But what really does me in, is an implied association between my voices and my feelings, and I do not mean the feelings I get as a result of hearing certain things, and I do not mean emotions. I mean things like twitching, very increased heart rate, ‘hot flushes’, cramps etc. My voices repeatedly ask “did you feel that?”, as though they are checking whether something they have done has worked. I also occasionally have absolutely terrible feelings that I struggle to be able to describe, and my voices will start ‘saying’ that the shit feelings I am having are a punishment for something that I have recently done. But to suggest that my feelings are somehow causally related to my voices is to suggest that my voices have agency, which is absurd. So I am really keen to hear from other people if they suspect that their voices impact their feelings (not moods or emotions) in a determinate, causal way. By this I mean that the voices do something that causes or changes feelings, that is, do your voices ever actually perpetrate changes in your feelings?
  2. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Hey we are people not robots, most of us our feelings and emotions and state of mind changes by the minute! Sure we have a how do you feel today, but is that a fair question? How can you answer that as the day has not ended yet and as soon as you posted you might feel different the next minute. Well here you go an opportunity to sound off when ever you want as often as you want because our feelings change through out the day! So feel free to post how you feel at this moment and come back if it changes! Come on my roller coaster ride! Let me start.. ----------------------- I feel a bit anxious at this moment, have a T appointment in a few hours.
  3. Hi y'all, I'm having a problem and I really am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. My boyfriend and I have plans to get married in April, we're both going to be 29 this year. I'm feeling like I don't know if I can go forward because of this problem involving his best friend. I introduced them a little over a year ago. They talk on the phone and text several times a day. He lends the friend money whenever he needs it. We live downtown and don't have a car, so he calls this guy first if he needs a ride, every time. They go party together twice a week or so. I really didn't have any sort of problem with any of this until I realized that the friend had no respect for me. It built up over time with small things and now I just don't want him anywhere near me. After attempts to squash hipster-racist and ignorant mysoginistic jokes in my house my concerns are laughed off and the jokes continue. This fella obviously doesn't respect me and tells my guy all kinds of things about me and my depression that 1) aren't true and 2) put a wedge in my relationship with my guy. I got yelled at a couple of months ago by the friend over a conversation that took place in my home with a few mutual friends. My boyfriend never stepped in to say that the things he was yelling at me for saying came from my boyfriend's mouth first. The friend told me I was wasting my life (I've been struggling lately and have stayed home a lot for the last few months) and when I told him to get out of my house he said that technically my boyfriend paid all of the bills here (untrue) so that I couldn't kick him out. I still kicked him out. Oh, he told my boyfriend that my crying fits/panic attacks are a "bipolar ruse" (I'm not bipolar) and not to "fall for it." I'm not sure what he means by that, but really, he isn't a doctor the last I checked. I've had multiple sit down talks with my guy about this situation. I know that I've tried to communicate about it. I try to look at the situation and break it down in pieces and try to tell whether or not I'm feeling this way because of external forces or if it is all inside myself. My feelings at this point are that 1) their relationship is unhealthy, 2) if this friend were a woman that it would be considered inappropriate, 3) if I had a friend who treated my guy like I've been treated they would cease to be my friend, and 4) the way they cling to one another it makes me feel like a third wheel in my own relationship. I'm trying to evaluate whether or not those feelings match reality, or if I'm just a victim of my own brain. I'm starting to think that I just get mad at the friend because it's easier than being angry at the man I love. Since my boyfriend knows how I feel, and I've requested space several times over the last 4 months and not gotten it, that the problem lies with my boyfriend. He obviously sees something in this overgrown man-child. I don't know quite what to say about it or how to say it, since I'm starting to feel like I can't marry someone who doesn't seem to care for how I feel. He loves me, calls me his family, is helping me to get help for my depression, but just doesn't seem to understand that I am serious about this. Bless your heart if you got through that mess. Thanks for reading.
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