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Found 10 results

  1. This is my first time writing but I need help from someone I don’t know and doesn’t know me. I feel like giving up on life, I want to cry all the time and just everything is just suffocating me. I’m faking smiles and happiness when I’m struggling to feel any emotions. I feel so god damn empty!! But I’m not suicidal and I never think about it. I’ve never done self harm and I’ve never taken up the offer. I feel like everyone has something in there life that they can love. I don’t. I know this isn’t for everyone but I feel like it. From people having that special someone, that thing they love to do or something that makes them feel safe. For me I don’t have anything like that and I haven’t really enjoyed anything in a long time. I feel so empty. I don’t feel safe anymore and I’m scared of the dark. It makes me jumpy and gives a feeling like I’m being watched. I know it sounds stupid but I’m a teenager and I just... can’t. i haven’t talked to anyone about this and I just don’t want people swarming me about it. I feel like my life’s a mess. I feel like I don’t belong. I feel like where I am isn’t where I should be. I don’t know if I’m depressed. But I know I need help but death will never be something I consider. It scares me. If anyone else feels anything similar please talk to me or if you have any advice. I feel like I’m suffocating.
  2. Coming off zyprexa, going on latuda. 12th try to come off. Gave up before because withdrawal way too bad. Have developed some health conditions since. Just turned 50 this month. Been on Zyprexa 27 yrs. Told Dr this is it. He said no. I stopped myself. Physical withdrawal came first. Treated myself with plenty water,rest,T3 for headaches, magnesium to cleanse my system faster, yoga to keep strength up,benzos for extreme anxiety. It was going well till week and half later, my thoughts started to become erratic. Went into hospital . went on latuda, plus 300 neurontin added to my ativan for the anxiety. Was discharged after 5 days. 3 days later, as more of the zyprexa is leeching out, I've developed severe depression , paranoia, and suicidal ideation. I don't care how bad this all gets....I will not let them put me back on Zyprexa. I have to hold my ground. I'll probably be going back into the hospital tomorrow, because the suicidal thoughts are too strong. I'm only going in to be safe,...not to go back on that drug. Looking forward to a healthy future... My mantra. When all is said and done....I'm there if someone needs a hand. Keep the faith. Love...Audrey.😂
  3. Coming off zyprexa, going on latuda. 12th try to come off. Gave up before because withdrawal way too bad. Have developed some health conditions since. Just turned 50 this month. Been on Zyprexa 27 yrs. Told Dr this is it. He said no. I stopped myself. Physical withdrawal came first. Treated myself with plenty water,rest,T3 for headaches, magnesium to cleanse my system faster, yoga to keep strength up,benzos for extreme anxiety. It was going well till week and half later, my thoughts started to become erratic. Went into hospital . went on latuda, plus 300 neurontin added to my ativan for the anxiety. Was discharged after 5 days. 3 days later, as more of the zyprexa is leeching out, I've developed severe depression , paranoia, and suicidal ideation. I don't care how bad this all gets....I will not let them put me back on Zyprexa. I have to hold my ground. I'll probably be going back into the hospital tomorrow, because the suicidal thoughts are too strong. I'm only going in to be safe,...not to go back on that drug. Looking forward to a healthy future... My mantra. When all is said and done....I'm there if someone needs a hand. Keep the faith. Love...Audrey.😂
  4. I've been on 40mg latuda once a day, and 0.5mg clonazepam twice a day, for bipolar 2, some mild schizophrenia and psychosis, and constant suicidal thoughts and tendencies, for about half a year now and I can honestly say it has saved my life. I do not see how I survived before taking this drug. When I first started off latuda within days of taking it I had already begun to notice positive effects, I wasn't paranoid, I didn't hear people talking to/about me as I walked around the halls at school, all my delusions of people stalking me had gone away, and best of all the depression, panic attacks and hypo manic episodes are gone. And my audio and visual hallucinations are so infrequent now, I only notice them maybe once every few weeks and they're tiny, barely even there. I feel like I can and am finally living a normal life, and while it may come with some baggage (akithisia, TD, passing out within an hour of taking my pills) I would never go back to the life I had before I take latuda. This is my first antipsychotic and will probably be my one and only antipsychotic for the rest of my life unless it stops working down the road or I build up a tolerance to the point where even 120mg does nothing. My pdoc says I should be the poster boy for latuda because one drug takes care of all my problems (which isn't true, I'll probably ask for propranolol, and wellbutrin to strengthen my wellness cocktail next time I see him) but I do notice some side effects, I'll spare you the obvious ones, extreme restlessness, extreme sedation after taking etc. And go to the ones I have that are more rare or even unique to me. I get the coolest dreams like other worldly dreams that are more vivid/real than real life, stuff like dreaming entirely in math or seeing other primary colors. I constantly grind my teeth and have my tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth, which I just solve by chewing gum, I get akithisia and really apathetic after taking latuda if it doesn't knock me out but for that I guess I now have Pokemon go to keep me moving and music to keep my mind occupied, and the weirdest side effect of all is I can't drink root beer... Some chemical that's used in the artificial flavoring makes me so balls to the walls restless that it feels like my muscles are separating from my bones, and my heart beats irregularly, fast, and hard,so I just avoid root beer like the plague. Other than that and the excess saliva though latuda has been a Wonderland of finally getting to live life free of roominating myself to oblivion, and having grand delusions. I have a few questions though and I won't see my pdoc for a while so I was wondering if you guys could maybe help out a bit. Does latuda alter the course of mental illnesses or will I be on latuda forever? I used to do a lot of recreational drugs before latuda but have stopped to make sure that latuda goes a-ok, I think I'm ready to slowly ease my way back into some recreational drugs though. Do you guys know of any interactions or combinations of latuda + 'x' drug that I should avoid for reasons of it being fatal or that I won't have a regular experience and will just be miserable. Same as above but for alcohol, like how much should I start by drinking considering I haven't drank in half a year and am on new prescription medications. Is there a hard limit that I should really be looking out for when on latuda? If so why? One more concerning side effect is that I see motion in my peripheral view, like it looks like I see something move out of the corner of my eye but there's nothing there, and my visual field looks like it's always moving, almost shaking or drifting off sometimes. How do I deal with this other than pretending it's not happening? I'm only 19 and my brain is still myelinating/ developing... Because I'm taking a drug that alters my brain chemistry will this have adverse effects down the road? Like because I didn't let my brain develop fully naturally. What are your guys' experiences with latuda? I guess that's all I can think of to ask now, I had another question I wanted to ask but I forget so I'll just post that question later... I'm so happy latuda exists, like I know the Japanese company that chemically engineered this drug is just in it for the money but they really have changed my life, my friends and family tell me I seem like such a happier person and it's because I really am. Latuda has saved my life.
  5. Wisdom Teeth Out!

    I was talking with alice this morning about Wisdom Teeth. I wanted to show you mine because I know that in the developed countries the dentists won't give you a chance to keep yours. Anyways, here I present pain, disfigured smile and decay. Enjoy! PS (I think they are cute, and Mr good guy would make for a very handsome pendant someday!)
  6. Hey guys So for the past few months now ive literally felt more worthless than a grain of sand on the beach. All my "friends" have been acting like total dicks (not just to me but between the whole group) its like were not even real friends (im 17 and in school btw) . Ive got nothing going for me, bad marks at school, shit at sports and even my gaming hobby is nothing but a bottomless pit of depression. My parents got divorced quite a while back but im not too sure that has anything to do with it and overall i just feel like life is nothing but a endless daily cycle and i cant get out of it. Initially i thought this was just a stage or part of my age or something but its been going on for such a long time now im not so sure. I come from a good family and i go to a good school, my parents are supportive and i really dont have a lot to complain about but still i feel this pit of emptiness inside of me. My mom was diagnosed with clinical depression but im not sure if that couldve been passed on to me. So me and my "friends" spend our weekends getting drunk at one of their houses and to them its for fun but im getting worried that to me its not just for fun. I dont really actually know how to describe what im going through, let me put it like this. Wake up,go to school,go home,have "fun" gaming,sleep,wake up....... blada blada bla and when it gets to the weekend go to a friends house,get drunk,wake up,go home, have "fun" gaming. Just to clarify im not suicidal and I never will be so for gods sake please dont tell me to call a helpline or something. Ok so let me not waste anymore of your time, am I depressive? being a attention seeking whore? or am I just going through a stage. please guys i just want somebody to help me to stop feeling like this and i know it sounds cliche and dumb but to me its quite serious and worrying
  7. Look, I'm an atheist. All organized (and unorganized) religion seems absurd to me, for a multitude of reasons. It seems to me that if everyone was raised by scientifically-literate parents, and not told about religion until critical thinking skills were fully developed (twenty-one?), that religion would disappear from this world. However, I see it's value in comforting people. I would greatly appreciate that comfort. So do me a favor and convince me!
  8. Hi i'm new here, i'm Richard, i'm from north west england, i joined here because i'm very interested in meds, i am on 3 pyshc meds if thats the right word for them, Prozac, Clonazepam, and one i'd like some advice on somewhere on the forum (when i find it) Seroquel, i hate this med and i'm seeking an alternative to it, i see my doc on Wednesday, and i'm going to ask for a rethink..
  9. So, I have both researched and assessed myself to be, and verified the situation with my therapist recently that I have an anxious avoidant attachment style. Yes, the yeti of attachment styles both anxious and avoidant. I'm pretty sure I started out with an anxious attachment, and developed the avoidant behavior as a defense mechanism because of how badly that style worked out for me. It built walls over time. I have decided that I want to fix this situation. Both fortunately and unfortunately I've recently started a promising relationship for the first time in years. We have a breakfast date in 6 hours, the 4th date this week, though we've known each other to some extent for almost 6 weeks. Things are great, and I REALLY want to be fixed and "secure" by breakfast right now . The more things go well, the scarier it becomes though. Every time we get past another "milestone" (for lack of a better word) I'm relieved, but then worry about messing up the next step. We've only recently even held hands or kissed, so sex isn't an issue really. As advised by my therapist I'm being cognizant of my irrational thinking that makes me insecure, and evasive when I don't want to be. I'm just having trouble stopping the preoccupation with how to handle the next text or date. I know that I have no reason to feel worried about the relationship at this point; he's smart, funny, kind, thoughtful, and totally crazy about me. Unfortunately I've not yet mastered the art of being able to stop thinking about what I've said, he's said, what or how I'm going to say something or handle a situation, or what he's going to say or do, always with the fear that he's going to discover who I "really am" and not like me anymore. There are some reasons to be concerned about relationship viability in the future because of known differences in political and religious beliefs. We have discussed that him being Conservative and me being Liberal is probably an issue, but we're not talking about it (though we graze topics frequently, and reroute the conversation) because we wanted to see if anything was there if we didn't, and THERE IS ! But I'm scared that those beliefs represent important core beliefs that will become deal breakers once addressed head on . I initially wanted to address the issues right away to just get that out of the way, but then things went well, and I don't want to ruin it now. I smile whenever we're together, and when we talk; he makes me laugh a lot ! Isn't that what's important? We have so many other things in common too. Not the least of which is that this is what we've both been looking for in a relationship and mutual chemistry . We've both been looking for someone that makes us feel this way for too long without much luck. Why should I sabotage it for Obama, Climate change, FOX, or minimum wage ? I can't even put into words how conflicted I am about that last sentence . I wonder if other people would be... This is why this is a topic post and not a diary entry, I can't always tell what's a worry based on my maladaptive thinking related to anxious/avoidant attachment, anxiety, what-have you's of insecurity, and what's worth worrying about or not . I want very badly to have a healthy relationship with this person I don't want to screw it up not based on if we're right for each other or not, but because of my perceprtions of insecurity, abandonment, and rejection . I feel like it could be really great in a lot of ways. I'm afraid in a lot of ways too though. Can anyone make any suggestions on how to perhaps look at things differently to cope with anxiety and worry that I know is unfounded or irrational or comment specifically on fixing an anxious attachment style? Or... well I guess comment on the political “issues”? I am already working on the whole be aware of my thoughts and feelings as to recognize as much as I can what isn't real or rational anyway. I'm just starting the process, but I want to do it right with this guy. He deserves a good person who will appreciate him, and treat him well as much as I do. Anybody out there?
  10. I thought I would start a thread to share good memories. You can ramble or just post a sentence. Okay, me... Whenever I eat green grapes, I think of my grandmother's house and the long summer days I spent there. She always bought grapes, but only the green kind. I suppose it was stamped into my memory because at home I never got anything but bagged apples with 3 inches of wax on them. My grandma bought real fruit and I pigged out on it every chance I got. Especially the grapes.
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