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Found 61 results

  1. I have been struggling for the last month or so with the meds. I am off Cymbalta completely ( was on it for 2 years ) on Friday or Saturday I started taking 300mg XR of Seroquel from 200mg XR... the first 3 nights had akathesia . Now I am having anxiety attacks, feeling like an elephant is on my chest, I am dizzy and off balance and get this woosh of anxiety almost like I am going to black out and I literally scream and grab on to something. I can't really describe it, it's if you were to feel like when your stomach is hollow.. that's how my heart/chest feels. It's scary as fuck. I am losing my shit. I cry and close my eyes until it fades or at least where it's not as intense. I have this look of fear and everyone asks why I look scared? What the fuck? I am losing confidence in myself again, I am taking 5 steps backwards instead of forward. I am very depressed about it. And this time of the year makes me depressed.. for some reason I really miss my dog right now. I think because this time last year.. She got sick and I was taking care of her everyday and was with her 24/7 .. even the smell of outside right now reminds me of her. I still have her bed under the Piano; it is sad walking by it and seeing it empty, but I am not getting rid of it. Anyway.. Does Seroquel make you anxious and make you feel like you are falling off a cliff? Is that a thing? Am I having a bad reaction even tho I have been on it for way over a year. Isn't this shit suppose to relax you?
  2. So today I thought I'm too tired during the day so I'll half my tegretol in the morning and take one and half pills at night. Bad idea. I feel awful. Beyond dizzy. Spacey. Confused. I have no idea how I'm going to come back to normal.
  3. Hello, all. I'm new to this site. I've been working with a pdoc for the past 3 to 4 years and, more recently, a therapist, due to what I personally classify as treatment resistant MDD. I'm in my mid-forties. Throughout this time, my pdoc has tried multiple "cocktail" combinations of medications. Some combinations work for a while, but it's difficult to become excited when I'm in a good period because I know the bottom can, and likely will, drop out from under my feet again. I'm curious whether anyone has had any success with a similar pharmaceutical lineup like mine. I'm also hoping someone might have tips on outrunning the black dog for longer than a few months at a time. I trust my pdoc, but I'm wondering if I should get a second opinion. Unfortunately, I live in an area where there are not many pdocs from which to choose. Some things to know: I have sleep apnea. For most of my adult life, I've fought drowsiness during the day no matter how much sleep I get. I've had multiple CPAP titrations, but they never seem to do much for the daytime sleepiness. About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with ADD. Current medicinal lineup: Adderall (15 mg x 2 per day) Lamictal (75 mg x 2 per day) Xanax (0.5 mg x 3 per day) Buspar (15 mg x 4 per day) Trintellix (20 mg x 1 per day) Made me nauseated when I took it during the day, so my pdoc had me start taking it at bedtime, which made all the difference. Starting today, replacing Latuda with Vraylar (1.5 mg x 1 per day) Previously tried the following: Paxil (40 mg x 1 per day) I started this for social anxiety nearly 20 years ago and was taken off of it around 6 months ago. Going off of this after so long was a terrible experience, but those effects have subsided. Prozac Wellbutrin (150 mg x 1 per day) Latuda (20 mg x 1 per day) Seroquel (25 mg x 1 per day) Slept like a baby on this, but it made the daytime drowsiness worse. Rexulti Experienced akathisia with this one. Abilify Also experienced akathisia on this. Viibryd Had stomach cramps I'm also using the following supplements: Omega-3 Vitamin D Vitamin B6, Magnesium, Zinc capsule Ashwaganda/Rhodiola
  4. hello all, I've had panic disorder since I was 16. I'm 23 now. I've been around the block - meds, hospitalization, therapy, self help, holistic stuff, etc. I have a GREAT PDOC and I was doing GREAT this past year (coming off my meds! going on long trips! happy!) but I seemed to have relapsed this spring. Here's my current cocktail that I want some opinions on: Effexor ER 225mg / daily - the only SSRI / SSNRI that's ever helped me (i've been through every. single. ssri. they don't work for me.) At my best, I managed to get down to 175mg / day with no withdrawal symptoms, i was so proud! but with the relapse my PDOC bumped it up again. Klonopin 1mg before bed - Basically just on this dose so I don't go into withdrawal. Klonopin doesn't really do much to stop my panic attacks after being on it for almost 7 years. I really want to be off it soon. Xanax as needed for panic attacks - 2mg stops my panic. I don't take it every day. The past few days I've had to take an extra 1mg after the first 2mg wears off. Basically the only drug in my cocktail I trust to work right now. Abilify 4mg daily - I was just prescribed this last months and started at 2mg. It seemed to work! but now I'm in hell and my PDOC just bumped it up to 4mg daily last night. New symptoms as of this new 'relapse' or whatever-the-funk: back at it again with the debilitating panic attacks and agoraphobia, this time with new and improved Depression™! which i've never had before except when i get sad that panic attacks are ruining my life. That's why my PDOC bumped up my effexor and added Abilify. I had to leave work early today which is something I havent had to do in like, 6 years. TL;DR: I'm wary about the abilify. Should I even be on it? anyone have any insight? why do I have depression now after never having it in my life? can anyone fix all my problems please?
  5. So I have been dx with gastritis and was given some meds for my stomach for it. For over a year I have had a major issue with constipation and bloating. I would go every 4-5 days. These past months it has been very painful and I have been having bloody stools. I take Miralax everyday and I still don't have bowel movements. I am seeing a GI doc to do better testing. I am suspecting ulcers for sure. But I am wondering if any of the meds could cause this?
  6. Sort of odd

    A while ago i had a moment when i was suicidal and i attempted its not like i had it too bad but i took my meds and wanted to get better and i wanted off of em cause it had been a while and who wants to stay on em and so i told my mom and she agreed with it and it was alright for a while but i had a breakdown and my mom put me back on them ( theyre zoloft btw) and i dont really have an outlet so im here and i wanted to know if it ever truly does get better.
  7. One Pill Makes You Larger...

    From the album Devotchka

    Self Portrait

    © Copyright Illustratedwoman 2017

  8. I believe I am ultradian cycling or something... I feel good in one part of the day and the other half I am so miserably and suicidally depressed I am borderline psychotic. I don't have the motivation to try to get through to my pdoc's office to get a work-in appointment, but that looks like what I'm going to have to do. I asked her about clozapine and lithium and she said no to both, and that lithium can actually induce suicidality in people. I'm desperate. I've been through just about every medication (see signature). Does anyone know of a bullet proof combo that both treats suicidality and prevents it from reoccurring again? My support group is here for me, but I'm scared of worrying them too much or causing them unnecessary pain. I'd just like to be normal.
  9. I have noticed ( and others) I have tons of bruises on my legs and thighs.. I have over 10 right now, it's like I don't even remember how I got them. I increased my Lamictal about 5 weeks ago and I am sort of confused, some people say it is a blood thinner. I am wondering if that has something to do with it? Has anyone else experienced this? I don't want people looking at me and judging me. And plus, it's summer.. I want to wear shorts and dresses and not look like I have been beaten up by kangaroo.
  10. My friend went off of his meds about 1.5 years ago. He claimed that he was incorrectly diagnosed because he has not had a "relapse" since. He suffered through 8 different hospitalizations in 9 months but has been out since. He was Dxed with Bipolar I, most recent episode manic, with psychotic features by five different P-docs. Our question is is 1.5 years without a relapse normal for BP I? Was he incorrectly Dxed? He claims that his normal up and downs do not exceed the point where he needs to be inpatient and that the doctors incorrectly Dxed him.
  11. So glad to find this page and forum... So my story in short form. Bi Polar 1 Never accepted my dagnosis, not alone on that I am sure...but cannot beleive at aged 46 I finally get it...The destruction of the last episode has killed everything in my life. 5 months...beaten up various times, putting myself at pure risk, buying BMW I cannot afford, spent about 20k Euros, throwing out of the house my 12 year life partner, renting houses, buying stuff, Pyscotic magical thinking, (living in italy the religosity is hard to escape.) Cannot do this again...Now in the depths of the worst crippleing depression. So I finally get it, I am, I have Bi polar its not a mass jewish(Where this distrust of this comes from Ido not know ) consirpacy to have us all sedated? Please note I am pro people and the jewish people but I am not anti semetic, but Iseem to be so when I am manic...very odd, so please do not take exception to that comment. I always seem in Mania to become fixated on the idea that these drugs are just killing us. Cannot understand why in these 5 months nobody tried to have me brought in to a hosptial. That hurts, Whenone is so obviously out of control why do you have to bring yourself in so to speak? All or some of the destruction could have been avoided. SO after literally waking up 5 months later, Iam in the loneliest dreadful space, living in a town Ihave no friends, no family and in a llanguage Ihave about a 40% handle on. Iamamazed in this mania I did not do something more terrible, hurting myself or someone.. Got a Pdoc, he has put me on a crushing regieme of Quietipinia 25mg x2 , Olanzipan 5x2 and Valpo Acid 600 (slow release) and Akineton for shakes, something to stop the muscles and dead arm syndrome...I am sure alot of you have been here...But apart from wanting to share this I sat and looked at all these pills read up as much as I can on this and does it feel so odd to be killing myself slowly with these pills to possibly / hopefully not getting manic again...Seems to me I can only find the Negative side effects. its only been 6 days on these pills, apart from all the negatives I only feel less anxious...But all I have to face now is the consewuences of what Ihave been doing for 5 months.. the bills the speeding tickets. Facing all this alone is too much for one person. I think it is so incredible that people live and thrive on being along, I do not think I am one of thoese people. I am angry that no one intervened to the authorites fro me, perhaps Italy just does it like this. So why post and what to ask for.... Well I guess to say well done for being part of this community and also to ask, is there anyone out there who has been pleased with their pill regime? Any happy stories out there? As for the insiatable need for food at all times does anyone know what I could ask my doctor to prescribe to lessen the need to eat, its just constant? Feeling already that the best of life is over and all Ihave left to live for is pills, interventions and I have used up all the joy alloted to myself prior. So my name is Tim I live in Italy and I am definitly owning and finally able to admit to myself and others Iam Bi Polar (chronic) apparently...The more you have these episodes the worse they get, seems to me to be my case even if they are years inbetween. My job is alcohol, and to be told Imust not drink is not only implausible, Ijust cannot erase the only thing I hae left that gives me a tiny enjoyement, anyone experienced with Pdrugs and alcohol? After such a long Mania I guess its nornal to be completely brain exhausted? This brain exhaustion is showing itself as impaired congative functioning, inability to think properly or remmeber...feel like I have lost 30% of my functioning... any one else had such a long period of Mania? So thats me...wishing you all light love and happiness on this journey called Full spectrum Bi Polar. Saluti de Italia Tim
  12. I have chronic tic disorder and am curious about pharmacological help. I have a few simple and complex motor tics that aren't exactly debilitating, but they are annoying and affect me at work. I work with kids and get asked "why do you do that weird thing with your eyes?" and stuff like that. Sleep deprivation tends to make the tics a lot worse. I'm on seroquel and it has been helping me sleep much better, so I've noticed a reduction, but they're still around. I've read that abilify has shown promising results in at least one study for helping tic disorder. I didn't see a subforum for tic disorders, so I figured I'd just post it here since BP is still my primary diagnosis and adding another AAP would likely impact my mood as well. If anyone has any experience with anything like this, I'd love to hear about it.
  13. Ok, so I've had PTSD since 2007 when I was still in the Air Force. My meds just aren't working right to me, and I'm having side effects from one of them. I'm on 1000mg Depakote ER, Cymbalta (I forget how much), and 3mg Risperadone (Risperdal). I was taking 750mg of Depakote and 6mg of Risperadone until recently...we're trying to take me off the Risperadone, so the pdoc is upping the Depakote. I see *a* pdoc in the afternoon (my normal pdoc had to cancel and I wasn't waiting until June to talk to someone...I don't like my experiences with the VA for the most part). Anyway, so the plan is to take me off the Risperadone, but I have a major concern...I'm already getting really, really irritable! I haven't really been getting *more* angry, but I still get really angry more often than I'd like. But the irritability is driving me nuts and feels like it's getting out of control, and I'm afraid it's starting to interfere with my work, and I work in a call center and they record and listen to the calls... I also have issues regarding the Depakote. I kinda need to stay on the Depakote because it supposedly helps with my migraines too (which are getting to the point where I'm getting ready to go back on Botox again), so coming off of it and switching to something different may not be an option...I'd want my pdoc to confer with my neurologist before making that decision so they can both make arrangements and changes if necessary. Anyway, I also have narcolepsy. The last time I was on 1000mg of Depakote I almost drove through a bush in the middle of someone's yard. Granted, I wasn't on the stimulant I'm currently taking back then (Nuvigil). But I have concerns that it could make me drowsy again. But like I can take percocet and benedryl and be wide awake, so who knows...I don't normally take pain meds, just when I get kidney stones, but when I do I have to take benedryl because it makes me itch. I'll let you know what the pdoc says tomorrow, but I'd love some input on ideas I can discuss with the pdoc on my next visit. I need something for irritability, depression, and anger (preferably no more than 2 meds), and if one of them could help with migraines too (like Depakote) that would be great...
  14. I started feeling sick this morning. I decided to go into urgent care when my fever spiked to 40.5 C. My doctor encouraged me to drink fluids, which I am. I took two extra strength tylenol so far today. When I went into my doctor he clocked my fever at 41 C. My heart was racing and I just felt like hell. I ache all over but my fever is starting to come down a bit (38.9 C). When you're sick as a dog do you take all your meds. I feel kind of awful. I recently stopped cipralex per doctors orders. On 45 mg remeron. take ativan slow release between .5 and 1.5 mg when needed. Yeah I am bit of a worrier.
  15. I just started Celexa 4 days ago and last night was my first time taking the full dose (From 10mg to 20mg). I take it at night and wake up exhausted. Like I'm falling asleep every time I sit down and this morning I woke up with the super shakes. I'm also clenching my jaw big time and I don't grind my teeth ever. Celexa was the first anti depression med that I ever tried and I came off of it because of the sexual side effects (maybe tmi? oh well). My Dr wanted to see how it worked again since I didn't have a terrible reaction with it the first round. I would definitely remember if shaking or jaw clenching was a thing. What is going on here?? Side note I am also on 300 mg of Lamictal and Xanax as needed.
  16. I went to see my therapist again yesterday and I told her about the medication and how I don't think it's working. I started taking meds in November of last year: 5 mg of lexapro, then to 10, then I went back to the hospital. Then it went to 15 then to 20. haven't seen much of a difference Im currently taking 20mg of Lexapro, the "therapeutic dose", which doctors dont usually go above, and I've been taking that for I think 5 weeks. So she said to talk to my physician and I hope she can help.. also I might start going to IOP again
  17. Hi everyone! First things first, I was diagnosed with BP2 a little over a year ago, and I'm currently on 200mg Lamictal, 10mg Abilify, and 1mg Ativan (just started, for sleep). The first 2 meds have been working pretty well for me, though I've only been on them for about 3 months. What's been crappy, though, is that I don't have that expansive, connected, spiritual feeling anymore. It used to be semi-common for me. While it would usually precede a low for me, I still treasured those days. I felt like I was vibrating on the same frequency as everything else. I would feel love for all things in existence and would be unable to stop smiling. It was great! But now that these meds have leveled me out, that feeling is missing from my life. I mentioned this to my pdoc, and he said that most people just keep memories of times like that rather than ever experiencing it again. That just seems like such a damn neurotypical and invalidating thing to say. As in, he must have never had that feeling of connectedness if he thinks a memory can be a substitute. How have you folks dealt with the lose of that feeling? Or have you not lost it? Any comments welcome.
  18. Meds?

    Hi everyone, I have had a mood disorder dx since I was 14. Currently 24 and dx changed to BP 2. Haven't taken meds seriously until I was 22 or so. Was doing relatively well on Latuda 40 and lamictal 200 until I decided I didn't need medication about a year ago. For the past 8 months I have been back on lamictal and latuda ranging from 100-300 and 80-20 respectively. I feel it has made no difference in my agitated and depressed mood so my pdoc added 900 lithium 3 weeks ago. Haven't noticed a difference except slightly less agitation. So I just started 1350 on the lithium. In conclusion, latuda 20, lamictal 300, and lithium 1350 don't seem to be helping. Why is my bipolar so resistant?! Anyone else have similar experience with these meds not working? What worked for you ?My pdoc said he will add the Emsam patch once I'm stable for depression..
  19. So I developed bipolar I believe about 3 years ago, in the spring of 2014. Some huge amount of journaling and developing other good habits helped me recognize my cycles, and what was probably going on (bipolar runs heavy in my family). I got dignosed in May of this year (2016). Since then I've been on lamictal & latuda, lamictal and seroquil, and currently 400 mg latuda with 10 mg abilify (recently <2 weeks ago). The thing is that since then I've had two full blown manias (never happened before, just prolonged hypomania) and bad depressive episodes thought they are shorter and less intense that usual. My moods are more of a mixed state mostly. Looking at my journals before and after diagnosis it seems like despite the depression and hypo mania I was doing much better .... continuing treatment seems to only lead to me hurting myself and others worse than I ever have before beginning treatment. It's making me enter a worse depressive cycle because of the damage I've dealt on my family and friends. It no longer seems worth it or even practical continue treatment (at least medication wise, I will continue my own efforts and talk therapy). Due to all this it's very tempting to go off my meds. Advice/feedback for stopping ? Tips on how to if that is the best option ?
  20. One of the things thats causing some stress is a lack of sex drive. I talked to my TDoc about this a number of times and she said that I sound like some of her female patients who are in menopause. *Ok I know this sounds horrific but she says this in a nice way. Anyhow - she said that the meds might be (Probably are) the reason and I'm wondering what experience others have with this and what they do about it? Its not Anorgasmia (Had that once and wanted to rip my head off in frustration) now its just like a lack of interest or whatever. I can function it just rarely occurs to me to do anything. And I'm not avoiding it. *Note this is not a hormonal issue. I've been checked and thats all in the upper range. I can put my head around the problem and rev myself into being more sexual but if I don't? My SO and I had some relationship issues which is probably some of the baggage but... Anyway - help. This might be of some incite. I thought I ought to "rev it up" and thought maybe looking at some sort of adult crap on the internet would help. Then I sat there for a long time thinking "What do I even look at? Like what turns me on? And..... then I thought ok.... forget that. What used to turn me on?" Pretty sad?
  21. Hey guys, First time here. I'm wondering if anyone else has disclosed their MI to their job. I work for a big corporation and my boss said verbatim "it's impossible to get fired from here if you disclose a mental issue" is it f-ed up of me to want to disclose to HR that I have a (long) diagnosed mental illness. The thing is, I would definitely be much better at my job if I didn't have mental issues which cause me to space out for a day at a time from time to time. Has anyone else had experience with this? I specifically have been diagnosed with primarily GAD but also issues with depression and mild hypomania. I just got a new pdoc and I'm not sure how able he would be to provide evidence but my previous one has PLENTY of evidence. thanks~
  22. Heyyy... I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. I hear voices, have obsessive/negative thoughts (possibly intrusive), have thought broadcasting, and mood swings. As of now I am on abilify-15mg, rexulti-4mg, and lexapro-20mg. I'm seeing a pdoc as well as a therapist. Though, it's really hard to keep my appointments with my therapist due to my social phobia. I keep thinking people can hear my thoughts and think of me as 'disgusting.' I even sometimes think my family & friends hear me. It's getting so hard to deal with... I think about suicide a lot... but I know deep down that it's not the only option and it is very final. There is help for me!!! Anyone else going through this crappy stuff??? What medications are you on? How do you deal? What has helped you - past and present? How long have you dealt with this? Feel free to add any additional information about what you are going through... I am also here to help anyone going through this because I know how hard it can get... believe me. Sometimes I am better at offering advice rather than taking my own. However, please seek help from a professional if you feel you are at your wits end.
  23. My husband and I are both bipolar. He's about to turn 50 and has been having major issues on both ends of the spectrum. He's currently taking lithium, lexapro, and propranolol. The lithium has given him tremors to the point that typing is painful. His pdoc recently prescribed 1mg of Risperdone to help with anger and rage issues he's been experiencing. Three days into it, he was too agitated to focus, and his anger was worse than ever. We spent a day with our son where he was moody and snappish, had a road rage incident over a parking spot in a lot with plenty of other empty spaces, and was just progressively more unpleasant and out of control. That night, he slipped into what I considered psychotic rage. He ripped my shirt off, punched me repeatedly in the back and back of the head, held a knife to his own throat, and then put me in a choke hold until I blacked out when I got the phone to call 911. We immediately took him off Risperdone, and he went back to his normal shitty self. We also called his pdoc and explained what happened. He said we shouldn't have stopped the Risperdone; we needed to double the dose. As the person who almost died in this episode, and was in pain for weeks afterwards, I wasn't thrilled by that response. The pdoc is my doc too. My husband isn't insured (ongoing disability case), and I'm on disability, so we're financially limited when it comes to changing doctors and playing with meds, but what he's on isn't right for him, and I don't know that I trust our doctor anymore. Has anyone else had this experience with Risperdone? Was the pdoc possibly right? Any med suggestions I might be able to bring up at our next visit?
  24. I looked at a number of threads and blogs about meds for MI and how frightened people are and how they hate the side effects and so on. More then one person has commented that looking for personal opinions about a drug are screwed up because its like the news. Reporting bad news is the norm. Reporting good news? Not so much. So what I hope to do with this thread is to hear from people who had a problem (Like Depression etc) and were prescribed something that worked. My first visit to crazyboards was me having a stroke worried that MI drugs would veg me out, ruin my brain, turn me into a junkie etc etc. My actual experience is that it took me from a terrible place and made me functional. I took one thing that had side effects that sucked so I switched to something else. Doses had to be jiggled on everything I've taken but I think this is to be expected. So people. For those that have just been diagnosed (DX) and find Crazyboards.org help them see some positive examples. I'll start with anxiety meds I've used. *Note I am a compliant Boy Scout. I don't change the dose or try to snort pills etc. Buspar. When I was diagnosed I had bad anxiety levels which made driving a nightmare. Every intersection was me wondering if someone was going to speed through the stop sign or red light and smash into me. Of if I would smash the side of a parked car. It took a while to kick in and it seemed "subtle" but driving is at worst just annoying (Traffic) Its not perfect but it helps. I can't think of any side effects that I had and everyone seems to agree its not addictive and you can't get high / addicted to it. Valium - Diazepam. I took this for "as needed" because I would have external BS that would reach a level that the Buspar didn't seem to be able to handle. Panic Attacks (Rare) *Like am I having a heart attack? It would squelch those fairly quickly and seemed (To me) to last long enough that I was dumping a bucket of water on the anxiety fire. I also deal with some anxiety thing like dry mouth, muscles tensed up, breathing (Holding my breath) kind of in the "whats about to get me?" kind of tension. This is always some trigger type of thing. This drug also worked for that type of thing. There are a lot of negative things on the web about this and all benzos. If you look at patient reviews there seems to be a lot of people who rate it highly and don't have problems so... I dunno... I plan on having a long talk with PDoc to find out what he thinks. People can abuse it and its addictive for some. Reading some of the web sites from the UK you would think its bottled by Satan and its worse then Heroin. Maybe its the way they take it? Maybe its that the people reporting problems have 10 presciptions and take it by the shovel full? Xanax I switched back and forth between Valium and this. It worked about the same in as far as how fast it kicked in. The time it continued to work (my opinion) wasn't always as long as I would have liked. To go back to the fire analogy its like dumping a cup of water on a fire. It puts out the small fires and will reduce a larger fire to ambers but the large fires can restart. I've read its the most addictive benzo. I've heard some people abuse it because they report getting buzzed but.... I don't get anything but normal feeling. I use it prn so there are weeks that go by where I don't take it so if its addictive? I'm not feeling it.
  25. So, I get this hidious nausea from buprenorphine patches Im on for my generalized joint pain. (My joints over move) Does anyone have a word to spare on this? Every time I wear those patches Ill have to remove them at some point cause of nausea/vomiting. Will that go away eventually if I just handle it long enough? Ps. Going to get help from doc to med change aint a solution, I fought years to get even this point. All they would most likely do is take me off from these and leave me with nothing/something ive already tried. (And my problem is only nausea, these take my pain away well)
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