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Found 37 results

  1. Hi y'all! I need your help. I guess I need some encouragement, more than anything. I restarted Wellbutrin XL 150 and Prozac 10 three days ago due to mild depression and generalized anxiety disorder. (I say "restarted" because I had been on both meds for about 4 years, went off them last year, tried Trintellix for about 8 months, got off of that and here we are.) Anyway, I anticipated the lack of appetite, the feelings of having had too much coffee, the sweating, and dry mouth. But now I'm having extreme nausea a few times a day and a severe flushed feeling. And tonight I started getting numbness/tingling in random spots all over.. It started on my cheek and my lip (felt like a cat hair I couldn't wipe away) and bounces around to my nose, fingers, toes, and knees. It's really freaking me out because I've never felt this before. How long will these unpleasant side effects last? They almost threw me into a panic attack but I laid down and focused on my breaking and got myself out of it but I'm still having a rough time. I just want to make sure this is all par for the course and nothing too dangerous is happening. And that it'll all subside soon. Thanks in advance. ❤️
  2. I'm having a hell of a hard time and experiencing rather weird symptoms. Whether they've anything to do with Mirtazapine (Remeron) is something that I strongly feel but can't quite convince any doctor of. I was put on 15 mg of it in spring 2015 for depression and a severe insomnia - I hadn't slept an hour like since 25 nights back then! The benefits showed immediately within a day and surprised myself and my family. I would sleep well and be in a very happy and cheerful mood. Then however, from summer 2016 I developed some strange food intolerances; caffeine, sugar, fruits containing high amounts of fructose, yoghurt, butter and so on. Eating anything of that would cause me jitteriness and insomnia. I steered clear of those foods. From autumn last year though, a lot of those food intolerances have relented and it changed into intolerance towards medicines and supplements that I was on; the thyroid medicine for hypothyroidism, Vitamin D, Calcium, Vitamin E and could never again tolerate any new medicine or supplement. Symptoms resulting from these are, again, jitters, insomnia and a strange kind of feeling of being struck on the head, like I can't hear anything and the thinking becomes very unclear and blurred. Coupled with this is a weird sensation that if a medicine has any potential side-effect (even physical, such as urine retention), I get it at all costs. So I'm steering clear of the culprits here too. However, avoiding the culprits doesn't end my misery, it just helps in avoiding a whole new set of symptoms, because since autumn 2016 I'm under constant brainfog anyway, have heart palpitations immediately after every meal (but worst after breakfast), have concentration and focus issues, lead a life without any hobbies, wishes or desires. Nothing excites me, nothing interests me and nothing catches my attention. Leave tasks pending for months (the most unlike me habbit), have badly lost my sense of humour. My sense of humour was something that I literally used to pride on, and friends from around the world would call me to fresh up if they were having a dull day. My mind feels numb, although it isn´t as if it´s the sedating effect of the Mirtazapine because 90% percent of the nights I don´t sleep well, and on a lot of nights I feel as if I´m asleep with an awake mind! Amidst all this, although initially not effected for the first 17 months, but the libido is not non-existent. If I get them at all, my erections are very tiny and hardly last a minute. The GP who put me on it considered it to be just the effects of anxiety and depression and recommended the doubling of the dose to 30 mg. When I contested that, given that I´ve my doubts of a lot of these issues being brought upon by Mirtazapine itself, she referred me to a psychiatrist. He too strongly denies of Mirtazapine having any hand to play on it and instead thinks it´ll be best to combine it with another antidepressant for day-time. He put me on Paroxetine, boom, a flood of side-effects! Then changed to Fluoxetine (Prozac) - third day on it and having weird feelings. The heart poundings are one and is in fact making me very depressed and hopeless!
  3. I'm making the transition to all generic because on my insurance the brand is exorbitantly priced. My Dr. submitted a form requesting they cover brand but to no avail. I have already switched my Wellbutrin 150mg XL to the generic several days ago and so far I haven't turned into newt. LOL Soon I will be switching to generic Prozac and Abilify. My biggest concern is that generic Abilify will have some funky side effects I cannot deal with. I'm only on 7mg. Does anyone have any experience with the generic form of Abilify? Any other advice is welcome.
  4. So I got anhedonia from risperdal which i was put on after a drug induced psychosis and am currently on wellbutrin(which is not working. I've been on it for about a month). I keep reading everywhere that ssri's have given people anhedonia/made it worse. My psychiatrist may prescribe this for me next week and take me off of wellbutrin and I'm scared. Should I just opt not to take it?
  5. Hi! Today is my 28th day on sertraline. I have titrated up to 100 mg. I know these meds can take up to 6 weeks to work. Luvox worked for me with 5 weeks on 150 mg and I think I have been on 200mg as well. It pooped out so my second ssri was Lexapro, which kicked in faster at 3 weeks ( at 10 mg). After 6 years this one pooped out as well. Last May, when the poop out happened, my general doctor was pushing new therapy and didn't switch me to another ssri, which I did not really like. He did increase Lexapro to 15 mg but after 4 weeks things were still the same and started the therapy and mindfulness classes. Meanwhile I slowly weaned off from the Lexapro, since I saw no use staying on it. I tried some alternative things like NAC, combined it with magnesium, vitamines, omega 3 and ginko biloba...but nothing really worked. So after 4,5 months of being 100% medication free I asked my general doc for a consultation with a pdoc. The pdoc advised sertraline 100 mg or maybe a little more. A last ssri trial. I am extremely concerned that it won't kickin this week. I just can't imagine it doing anything. I know it is a bit too early to write it off and go on something else but I'd like to hear some opinions. The pdoc who does the consultations suggested (during the first and only appointment) a switch to clomipramine/Anafranil or augment with Seroquel (PRN dose, though I still don't know how this will help with stuck, unwanted repetitive thoughts) but only if Zoloft doesn't work for me. My general doc will follow this advice but I from everything I gathered there are so much more options...for example Prozac or adding Abilify or even nortriptyline. That pdoc said that more appointments with him arent possible. Which means I have to find another one...which can take weeks :-( One last thing: the side effects I am having are almost unnoticable. Some RLS in the early morning, slight stomach irritation (1 of 2 times a week) and vivid dreaming. I had more anxiety the first two weeks and that's it... I think I could go higher in dose without much trouble. But could a higher dose do the trick or do I supposed to feel something already? Sigh...I just want to get out of this situation...
  6. Hello I am currently cross tapering from Paroxetine (Paxil) to Fluoxetine (Prozac) for OCD. Right now I am taking 20mg Fluoxetine and 30mg Paroxetine. The idea is to stop Paroxetine and to increase dose of Fluoxetine to 40 or 60mg. Could you share with me, in your opinion, what is the optimal dose to treat OCD symptoms?
  7. Hi! Long time no talk. At 43, I've experienced hypomania maybe 4 times in my life. I've only recently understood what it is, and whenever it has happened in the past I've always thought I'd found the "answer" to my depression, whether it was starting a new antidepressant or some very exciting event in my life. For example, late last year I became open for the first time about being curious about guys dressed as women, or guys with an androgynous, feminine look. It's a long story, but I became hypomanic because being open about this and exploring it for the first time was very exciting. Not realizing what was happening, I thought that "coming out" about this (I mostly like women, probably 95% of guys do nothing for me, but that other 5%... LOL) cured my depression. I know about the risk taking, the overconfidence, the questionable judgment. But to me that's a small price to pay for how much I believe I could accomplish in life if I could feel this way all, or even a lot of the time. Anyway, I've since read about something called the "hyperthymic temperament". These people are just naturally hypomanic, rather than just a state that lasts for a couple weeks. I've read the claim that Prozac turns some people hyperthymic. Hyperthymic is more permanent than hypomanic, and that's what I'm interested in, something permanent or at least frequent. So, my question is: has anyone become hyperthymic from taking Prozac? Again, I'm asking about a persistent change, not just a state that lasted a few weeks and then you crashed. Thanks.
  8. I am currently taking antidepressants and I am worried because of the testimonies of people here in this link below. Scroll down and you will find them. Some people are fine even after taking them for many years. But some have their lives destroyed. In particular, I am worried about all my motivation and everything about me being wiped out from these medications. https://prof77.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/testimonies-of-people-destroyed-by-antidepressants/
  9. HI folks. For starters, I'm 20 and will be starting college this fall. I got a new therapist in August (the 3rd I've had), and she told me that I may be on the bipolar spectrum. This was surprising and confusing, but I guess it sort of made sense, too. I don't have (or haven't had yet..) full-blown manic episodes, or really even bipolar 2 type manic episodes. But I do sometimes get into an on-the-edge, spontaneous, I'm-connected-to-the-whole-damn-world type mood. I also experience anxiety-ridden depression fairly often. I'm not sure what the psychiatric nurse practitioner I see has diagnosed me with; she seemed skeptical of the whole "bipolar spectrum" thing. So it's confusing. Damn confusing. Anyway, my current issue is with meds. I'm on 40 mg prozac and 100 mg lamotrigine. (I've previously been on zoloft and seroquel.) Despite the meds, I'm still experiencing some pretty shitty depression. On top of that, I've had practically nonstop fatigue and require over 8 hours of sleep to not feel dead tired. Last week, I had a horrible time at work and had to leave early on 2 days because of the tiredness. I couldn't get anything done and my mind was like sludge. And I got 7 hours of sleep those nights! I understand that that would make me tired, but that damn tired? I like hiking and going for walks, but rather than it waking me up like it used to, exercise puts me to sleep. I finally washed dished yesterday for the first time in a week; everyday I just want to eat and eat and eat; I get headaches and feel dehydrated. I'm going to college in 3 months! What the hell can I do? I don't want to just jump from med to med and have no clue if what I'm experiencing is caused by the meds or by the thousand other factors that affect me every day. If the medication isn't helping with my depression but is causing these side-effects, should I just go off? I see the np (who I'm not a big fan of) in 1.5 weeks but I don't want to wait that long. Every day feeling like this is a day wasted. I want to DO things. But I'm scared that if I go off the meds, I'll drop into a worse depression or rocket into an agitated manic whatever. Uhg. I don't understand what my body is doing, what my meds are doing, what my mind is doing... It's a long and rambling post, but I wanted to put it out there. I don't have many people that I can talk to about this who understand. Any comments or advice would be appreciated. Thanks, Grace Edit: any advice on anything appreciated
  10. Ever since I've started Prozac it sometimes feels like I've become emotionally stuck. If any of you have seen that scene in Prozac Nation where Elizabeth is talking about she is deprived of her tears, that's what I am talking about. When I want to cry, I can't seem to. Has anyone ever had this problem?
  11. This article talks about incidents of tardive dyskinesia and other movement disorders among those taking anti-depressants such as Prozac. I thought this condition was limited to anti-psychotics, but I guess not. I had no idea that there were so many cases (relatively speaking) of people developing these movement disorders from plain ADs! What do you all think? http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/g/glenmullen-prozac.html
  12. So I have been on quite a medication journey the past few months, which began with my first hospitalization may of last year. I started taking zoloft (eventually 150mg) when I was in 7th/8th grade for ocd and depression. Worked pretty well for about six years, had normal/good energy level and not too many bad days. My senior year of high school I started to feel the zoloft was no longer working so added wellbutrin for around 2 weeks but felt no different. (looking back, I probably should I have given it more time). Made the transition to college, adjusted pretty well, but then zoloft stopped working completely and abruptly. Over the next few months, I tried brintellix, effexor, celexa, abilify, trileptal and some xanax and klonopin here and there. Ever since I stopped the celexa I have felt completely depersonalized and like my brain is in a fog. A little over a month ago I started prozac and lithium. I added buspar a few days ago for the crippling anxiety I have been dealing with. The first week of the prozac I felt a little better, more energy to get up and do things but still really depersonalized. Did generally better than I had been doing before on the prozac, but seemed to be loosing energy quickly. Fast forward to this week (4 weeks after I started Lithium and Prozac) and I feel absolutely awful. Thoughts of suicide, lots of sadness, 0 energy and incredibly depersonalized. Extremely hard to get out of bed and do stuff. Walking a few blocks seems like a marathon and I feel more fatigued than I ever have before. I've had trouble concentrating on things, reading, getting work done for a while now but it feels even worse these past few days. Wondering if anyone has any guesses what this might be about. I am up to 40 mg prozac, 600 mg lithium, and 15 mg buspar per day, and I am a pretty small woman. I'm worried about feeling this bad after 4 weeks on prozac because it seems like most people notice positive changes around 4 weeks and I seem to have taken a turn for the worse. I feel pretty defeated and am interested in trying some atypical antipsychotics, namely zyprexa or seroquel. If anyone has any experience with these in terms of unipolar depression/ major depressive disorder I would be really curious to hear your input. I was thinking of possibly starting zoloft again and adding one of those atypicals, but obviously I have to talk to my dr. I know that I should ultimately make these decisions with my doctor, but any input that could help me make some decisions would be great. Thanks.
  13. Crazy Like Me

    Though I came up surrounded by close family members who struggled with various mental illnesses, I wouldn't say I had an especially traumatic or even a really remarkable childhood, apart from the sporadic, sometimes episodic fireworks Crazy can bring. On the whole I had a pretty typical middle class upbringing, for which I am grateful. My older sister served as my introduction to the mysteries and miseries of mental illness. She suffered from Bipolar Disorder, and it was clear my parents despaired at her condition. There was much acting out, at least one suicide attempt that I am aware of, multiple stays at inpatient facilities, and an ever-changing cocktail of medications throughout her teens. She tapered off meds when she planned to start a family, and has done amazingly well without them. My younger sister struggles with panic disorder and more physical ailments than anyone her young age ought to be saddled with. My mother was a survivor of child abuse, and subsequent to the passing of her father when I was about 12, she suffered a series of psychotic breaks that led to the first of several inpatient hospitalizations, and a lifetime of profound treatment resistant MDD that continues to this day. Not only did she not perpetuate the cycle of abuse she suffered but I never even knew what she'd been through until I was much older. My father never (to my knowledge) sought treatment for any mental illness, and tended towards stoicism and emotional opaqueness. I suspect however that he suffered (or even suffers still) from depression -- at the very least. HIs siblings suffered from myriad mental maladies. His upbringing was somewhat of a mystery to me, as what remained of his immediate family were separated by geography. I believe he too was a survivor of child abuse, based on what I've gleaned from anecdotes. My older brother was a bit of a black sheep, and when youthful indiscretions of the self-medicating type became too much for my well-meaning folks to handle he was given an ultimatum and joined the armed services. He was stationed in South Korea, and I gather his self-medicating ways came along for the ride. Upon returning stateside he had a hard time reintegrating, finding stable work, and had to rely on the support of his family more than I think he would have liked. He was a very emotional person, and felt things very deeply. I imagine if I would have asked him for one word to describe himself he might have chosen "failure". That's certainly not how I would have described him, but he was the type of person for whom every setback might have seemed like the universe pointing a spindly celestial finger at the tip of his nose and proclaiming FUCK. YOU. By the time my brother killed himself with the sputtering exhaust of the sparkly brown hatchback my mother had given him, I was living my own kind of Crazy. Today, I find myself at a strange cross roads. I am happily married. Successful, especially considering I never finished college. I have more than my fair share of material possessions. I have family and friends whom I love, and who love me. As much as I curse those who use the phrase, I'm Blessed. And yet, I can't recall a time I felt more lost. You see, growing up as an insatiably curious child in a household surrounded by Crazy, and where both parents worked in the medical field. So I didn't just *live* with Crazy, I, in a sense, *studied* it. Psychology. Anatomy. Psychiatry. Biology. Pharmacology. And most especially *Psychopharmacology*. I was never under the illusion that reading medical texts would make me a doctor any more than reading cookbooks would make me a chef. But I found, and still find the subject phenomenally interesting. In the late 80's and early 90's before webforums, TV drug adverts, wikipedia, etc., it seemed physicians expected laypeople to know almost nothing about medicine, so much so, that if you knew even a little, and went in with talking points memorized, you were going to leave with whatever it was you came for (within reason). Maybe it's always been that way. But I certainly felt clever, and in retrospect maybe a part of the burgeoning vanguard that changed how pharmaceuticals are consumed. Modern medicine is so unabashedly, brazenly consumer driven, I doubt any clinician bats an eye when patients come in and know exactly what their diagnosis is, the name brand and dosage of the drug they want, and oh by the way I've already printed off my own coupon that makes my copay 3 dollars until the drug goes off patent in 2030. But back to my personal tale of medico-consumerism. 22 years ago, at about 14 years of age, I self-diagnosed myself with depression. PART II To Follow Later
  14. I've been on fluoxetine properly for nearly two months now and I feel buzzed. They have this effect. Over time I sleep less and it's like I'm on caffeine and I tense my muscles a lot. Sit there and realise I'm doing it and have to actively relax only to find I'm doing it again a short time later. I should be in bed.
  15. I am a hedonist which means that feelings of pleasure are the only things that define my life as good (even though I still have full empathy and compassion towards my family and other innocent people as well). However, it is actually only my own feelings of pleasure that define my personal life as good and nothing else since I am only in my own mind and not in the minds of others and cannot feel their pleasure. Me somehow experiencing pleasure from witnessing someone else experiencing pleasure is not me experiencing their feelings of pleasure. It is all still my own personal feelings of pleasure. Therefore, this is the reason why only my own feelings of pleasure define my personal life as good and nothing else. Me living on to help out others in the event that my feelings of pleasure could never recover would not make my life worth living at all and wouldn't give my life any sense of good value. It would be good for them, but not for my own personal life. I am just as important as any other innocent person and I deserve my life of pleasure, too. Balance is key here and I must have my good life to live while others have their good lives to live and are helped out by me. Before you even try to convince me that there are other good things that can make my life good and worth living besides my feelings of pleasure and before you even try to change my thinking, I am not a part of your world and am not a part of your moral values. We might interact, but that doesn't mean I am a part of your moral values. They might apply in a physical sense in that you can choose to do whatever physical actions you want to me that will affect me physically. However, your morals do not apply to me in the sense of me adhering to them and living by them. Except for rules such as on a forum website which I will adhere to. I may be a part of this community in a physical sense. But I am not a part of this community in a moral sense. Therefore, the things one might say such as that I am selfish or some crybaby do not apply to me and neither do the things I'm saying apply to these people either. We are both parallel universes here. The non-hedonistic advice one might give are like a straight parallel line that does not intersect with me and doesn't apply to me. Same thing for my hedonistic values in that they also do not apply to you either. Therefore, we should instead go about our own ways of life here and respect each others ways of life since I am not harming/demeaning anyone with my hedonistic life. What you would deem as harm/disrespect is different than what I would deem as harm/disrespect. Therefore, not even your idea of harm/disrespect applies to me either. So that is why we should instead go about our own ways of life and respect each others ways of life. Therefore, you should respect the idea that if my feelings of pleasure don't ever recover, then I would end my life. You should, therefore, not tell me anything here that my life can still be good and worth living without my feelings of pleasure. Any other form of scorn/mockery towards me also does not apply to me either. Therefore, it would just simply be pointless for you to have any sort of scorn, name-calling, etc. towards me. You can if you want to. But it would all just go off into a parallel line and wouldn't even apply to me. Also, any things that anyone else says that my life can still be good and worth living without my feelings of pleasure, that doesn't apply to me either. Even if it did somehow apply, then it would only be infringing upon my way of life which would be my life of pleasure I deserve to have and must have back. A life of pleasure is the only thing I came into existence for and noting else. That is my own personal life here and you do not disrespect that by giving me scorn, mockery, or name-calling.
  16. *Hello. I'm brand new and researching certain drugs in relation to a personal tragedy and checked out a few threads on this forum about adverse reactions and interactions. I am not a "troll" and not interested in drug wars. I am in search of answers, understanding, and knowledge in the event of a lawsuit. I hope you will carefully consider my (probably too lengthy) story for a forum seriously, especially if you are experiencing similar effects. Actually, if I start with the backstory I'll end up tangenting too much to get the point out so let's get that out of the way first. My former husband and son's father was an Iraq war vet who served 6 years with assorted combat medals and a pretty secure position. Prior to military, while a genuinely good guy with a wry wit and higher than usual intelligence, was still plagued with the most exasperating, homicidal rage inducing (for everyone else dealing with it) financial irresponsibility and poor impulse control. We had a child together long before we married because I couldn't respect anyone who can't grow up and take care of their responsibilities. Aside from our issues trying to corral his immaturity to be a proper parent, we never fought, argued or had any negative, abusive, dysfunctional relationship. We were close friends who saw the world the same way. My beef with him was his penchant for escapism and blowing money instead of focusing on security for his child's welfare. Partly why he joined the military. We married after his enlistment and for the duration, life went well. No issues. He returned, his Army stint over with, but he returned more of a shell of who he was when he went in. Nothing problematic. In fact, he seemed more calm and soldier-esque, disciplined. And we had no further financial issues...until he reunited with his civilian buddies welcoming him back. I began to see him drinking a little more but never anything over the top. Within a year of his return, however, we had an amicable separation that resulted in him having no "supervision" anymore - military or myself and left to his own devices, literally blew through our joint savings to overdrafting hundreds of dollars that continued for weeks until I finally convinced our bank to lock it down. He went AWOL in civilian life and later claimed he'd suddenly felt abandoned and alone, some was fear, some was anger, some was devastation, and some was spite. We officially divorced and he was on the hook for support. I won by default, though we'd been in contact and were otherwise amicable again in spite of it. He knew he screwed up and copped to it. He relocated to the PNW and began or continued treatment at [edited specific locations] VAs. He seemed to be getting better, at least as far as employment goes. Got a killer job making a nice salary but couldn't manage his money and was constantly dropping the ball with financial support for his child. It resulted in us losing everything - literally, to homelessness. He was constantly gambling and robbing Peter AND Paul to pay child support. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, realized he'll always be irresponsible and can't be bothered to support his child or even participate in his life, in spite of his continued claims otherwise. So I opted to disconnect entirely and drop contact. Life was calm and pleasant for nearly a year. In late April '14, I guess I felt sentimental and ended up calling him to check in, see how he was doing and the call seemed to resurrect things. He was doing better, claimed he was in treatment for PTSD, depression, talked to his shrink about us, our relationship, Iraq, and that he wasn't happy with the meds...they made him feel dull, indifferent, didn't feel anything at all. I suggested he stop taking them and he said it'd be better if he weened off and would probably speak to his doctors to lower the dosage since they weren't working. If he stopped cold turkey it could make things worse. He didn't want to shoot up a school. In the end, we'd opened dialogue about my son and I moving to where he was, trying a co-parenting arrangement, and potentially remarrying. Not out of romance (we weren't really there but were still close friends). We began making plans for the relocation and since he'd left us destitute being a "loser" he agreed to send more money to either get us there or to fly to us and we drive to the PNW together. These plans were open from the end of April through the end of June. Then he began dodging me and I figured something happened. He sent an email at the end of June finally admitting he went gambling and blew 2 grand trying to double it so we could get there sooner and have money for our son's birthday in August. When he lost it all he was ashamed and figured I'd be livid so he steered clear til he felt he could face me. I was and responded that it'll never stop...and if he just admits he really doesn't care for his child and doesn't want to be a parent, acknowledge it for real (instead of sabotage, escapism and absenteesim) then I'll let him off the hook, close the door and we'll go our separate ways. He refused and agreed to work it out...but wanted me to understand he was "just fucked up" and was trying to get it worked out. In early August, our son turned 16. He never even called to wish him Happy Birthday, never sent him a gift, never did anything at all after getting him excited about moving up there. All along though, which I chalked up to too much Forensic Files, I had the worst uneasy vibe that Oregon is full of death, that we might end up victims of a murder suicide or something and inwardly was kind of relieved he screwed it up and we weren't going. In late August, I learned he was dead. As information began trickling in, I learned he'd taken his own life and as far as I was concerned, good riddance. He'd rather choose death than be a father, than choose his child - I had no sympathy and vowed to delete him entirely from my reality. This was the most selfish, unconscionable thing he's ever done. My son was disappointed and pissed, feeling that his father was broken and weak...it fit, really. I did file several of the standard claims on behalf of our son though and a little SSA payment began to arrive a few months later. As angry as I was at him, I could not shake the reality that this was out of the blue. He's never been suicidal a day in his life, nor for as long as I knew him. And he didn't sound suicidal when we spoke or made plans. Even our son winced and said, "It doesn't seem like him to do that..." it wasn't him. I had to accept that PTSD played a role and I have no real idea what he'd experienced during and post military so it could be that he was and I just wasn't as close anymore and missed it. Eventually I received the ME report and read over it...initially finding that he'd apparently tried to attempt it several times through 2014. First in mid April which was surprising because he'd been released April 22 within days of my contacting him and while he acknowledged "treatment" (though he'd been in treatment since 2011 at other VAMCs) he never mentioned attempted suicide. After reading his several failed attempts and because the person I always knew was not suicidal "for real" I couldn't help wonder if it was a spinal tap of attempts to maybe show the VA he needed a higher disability rating or something and the last time, it actually worked. In a tragic comical way, he was pretending to be suicidal and then it actually accidentally worked. Or maybe he pissed someone off - someone in his life I had no knowledge of - and they drugged him and faked a suicide. It was so out of character I even wondered if a relative of his got fed up with being owed a ton of money due to his gambling debts they just put him out of their misery. He just wasn't suicidal. Yet the ME report described a very undeniably clear course of thought out behavior to end his life...and if he chose this option over us, his child, so be it. We were done. We tried to move on best we could and it was more recently that I sat down and actually read the ME report more thoroughly and it suddenly illuminated the truth. The ME report and description included details about the events of 2014 beginning with the first incident. He'd been feeling suicidal and voluntarily admitted himself in the VA for help. The VA let him stay until he "sobered up" basically, prescribed antidepressants and sent him home. On his way home he pulled over, ingested a bunch of prescription meds and endured a failed attempt. When he came to, he called 911 and later requested transport to the VA where he'd been treated for PTSD. This time he was admitted to the psych ward, detoxed, prescribed more drugs, diagnosed with alcohol induced mood disorder, told to stop drinking and sent on his way. The next failed attempt was early August, 2 days after our son's birthday. [edited out by mod because details specific suicide details]. He drove himself back to the VA and admitted himself. He requested in patient treatment and it was denied. Instead, the VA prescribed new antidepressants, sent him to group therapy, and released him when he was no longer an immediate threat. Within 4 days of his release, he drove to a rest stop and took his life[edited by mod due to specific means]. The thing I did not catch initially was that though he'd been prescribed sertraline (Zoloft) and told to continue it, they also added Zoloft (sertraline), Desyrel (trazodone), Vistaril (hydroxyzine), Lunesta (eszopiclone), and Baclofen, that he'd been taking for awhile, the only drug found in his system aside from [other thing used to die] had been Venlafaxine. There was nothing else but that. After researching all of these medications, their combined interactions proved to ultimately lead an otherwise sound and clear minded person seeking help for PTSD down the road to suicide. Though he'd been financially irresponsible and escapist since we met, he was never *suicidal* until he began being treated by both [edited out names] VA med centers. They pumped him so full of antidepressants, several of which have clear warnings against being administered to anyone with a history of suicide thoughts or attempts that his entire ability for clear thinking and rational judgment was impaired. The side effects of feeling dull, indifferent, dead, no edge, confused, anxious, unable to sleep...were all things he described feeling. He repeatedly told them these meds were not working. Instead of monitoring his intake, under supervision, they upped his dosage and added more to the list. The last one, venlafaxine has the FDA warning of intensifying and aggravating suicidal behavior. I realized that he did not just opt out to be a selfish loser, same old same old. He was a victim. The [mod edited out specific hospitals] VAMCs in Oregon killed him. Another casualty of incompetence, negligence, lies, and ineptitude and an overloading of drugs that should not only never have been combined but prescribed to begin with - all of them clearly carrying warnings they should not be given to those with suicidal depression. He didn't OD. He did not mix anything with beer. He did not take uncharacteristic dosage. PTSD didn't even play a part one way or another. It was all venlafaxine. A fatal suicide success story courtesy of [edited] VAMC. He took what was prescribed and it fatally impaired his entire ability to behave rationally. He was NEVER suicidal until [VAMC] began drugging him. If you have been prescribed any combination of these (and add Prozac, he was on that too for awhile), and particularly if you are being treated by the VA for PTSD or anything else, please, please be mindful that if you weren't suicidal before being a patient there, then you are being slowly murdered. They are not helping you, they are killing you. The next VA asswipe who thanks me for his service is getting throat punched. They killed my child's father. He repeatedly tried to get help. He wanted more significant treatment, in patient and was refused. He voluntarily admitted himself, called 911, drove himself to get help...which is a glaring factual reality that wen he sobered up, he was not suicidal at all - just as the reality that he was quite sober from the end of April through June - and while planning for our trip to where he was there's conspicuously no further attempts after April until he screwed up in late June. He did NOT want to die. He WANTED help and he was too wrecked to realize he'd sought help from the very people who were slowly killing him all along. I can appreciate sentiments being sorry for our loss, and thanks for that but I'm here to spread a very real warning. These drugs to not help you. They will be your downfall. Best of luck. Lexi
  17. I started Prozac back in September 2014 and am up to 40mg by this point. My obsessive thoughts about my sexual assault has ceased and a lot of things that used to bother me don't get me bent out of shape anymore really. Although I do have low energy and the laziness about personal hygiene I am able to get up and go do what I need to do and my suicidal ideations have decreased a lot. However in two previous blood tests with my pdoc and my reproductive endocrinologist, my liver enzymes have been elevated and I have noticed more GI programs such as more frequent diarrhea and nausea since taking the Prozac and its giving me quite a bit of concern. Like if I eat a meal, I will immediately have to go to the bathroom and I have read that some of this is akin to liver damage etc. I am considered morbidly obese and not as active as I should be but I've never had problems like this until I got on the Prozac. Some days I have nausea and have no appetite and it occurs after I take a Prozac and I am afraid that such a good medication is doing me more harm than good. Friends of mine have suggested I try the brand name to see if there any difference in my body, but I am very afraid that I will experience the same results. It has been several months since I have started and regular side effects should have subsided by now. This has never happened to me before with any psych med until I have started Prozac. Is it possibly the Prozac that is doing to this or a combination of factors? Mind you, before my blood tests before were normal and completely stable and I was considered completely healthy despite my size and before this medication was recommended to me.
  18. Depression (including anhedonia which is an absence of pleasure) are, in a way, sort of like the flu. It comes and goes. You first get sick. But over time, the mind and body heal themselves and you are back to being completely well. This is because it is vital to get back to the state of your full normal well-being. Otherwise, your chances of survival (thriving in life) are slim. So it is vital that your mind and body restore its survival mechanisms. This would even include pleasure since pleasure is something vital for our thriving and survival in life. Far more people feel depressed having an absence of pleasure than there are people who are fine with and accept an absence of pleasure. This would be because pleasure is so vital to our survival as I've said before. Depression, in addition to being perhaps a chemical imbalance, can also be a natural stressful response. Depression can sometimes be a response that warns us that something is wrong in our lives that we need to change. This holds true in my case since my depression is not a chemical imbalance or anything of the sort at all. Rather, it is a response to my anhedonia (absence of pleasure). This depression response (feeling of hopelessness) is warning me that I must have my life of full pleasure that I solely value so much in order for me to live a good worthwhile life. Therefore, since pleasure is so very important for me and my life and is very important for many other people, then this is why the mind restores itself back to normal and that your full normal amount of pleasure should soon be fully restored back to you. You should be able to soon fully recover from depression and/or anhedonia and live the life of full pleasure that makes a vital part of your one and only life good and worth living. However, my anhedonia has been going on for 7 months, there are never any brief moments of pleasure, and it still hasn't gotten any better. As a matter of fact, it has only gotten worse over time and I am now left with complete chronic anhedonia. Therefore, I think I might have some condition that is preventing me from recovering. Usually, when you get the flu, you soon recover over time. But you then have some people who have the flu for prolonged periods due to some other type of condition/abnormality perpetuating the flu. Therefore, this might be what is going on with me here. Therefore, once I take care of this condition that is preventing me from recovering from this anhedonia, then I should have my full pleasure back to me in life.
  19. I have read many forums looking for the answer to this question. I’m feeling like I’m heading into a tailspin. My story: Until June 2014, I was on 120mg Cymbalta, for two years. Additionally, I was on 5mg Abilify. I have discontinued that. The side effects were obvious. I really feel foolish that I did not associate my miserable physical symptoms with Cymbalta. I take so many drugs. It’s hard to nail down the cause of the worst symptoms. After reading all the forums here and at other sites, it dawned on me…Its gotta be the Cymbalta! I read about the difficulties of tapering Cymbalta and am really scared what the next year has in store for me. Cymbalta has already ruined 2 years of my life. I’ve calculated that it will be close to another year before I’m done tapering. NOW TO MY POINT: My doctor first instructed me to start tapering 30mg. I did not last a day. I was so messed up and in dark places; I was scared I really might hurt myself. I gave in and took the 30mg I’d stopped and was back to 120mg per day again. That was in May 2014. My doctor was surprised I had such a bad withdrawal experience!! So I came up with a schedule to taper 10mg every 30 days or until I feel stabilized on the lowered dose. I have attached the excel worksheet. Box 1 and 2 are percentage calculations. Box 3 is the dosage combination. Box 4 is meaningless to anyone, its just my pill count. My doctor was very cooperative and wrote the prescriptions I needed. I would need to do 10mg per month. In June 2014, I bought a mini scale from Amazon to measure the beads. Well that did not go well, at all! I simply don’t have the patience to take the capsules apart and separate the beads into smaller doses. Those little beads have a life of their own. I followed all the instructions I’ve read on removing the beads. What a nightmare. I read a lot of recommendations to by reduce 10%, but that’s back to bead counting. That’s when I came up with my method. Now I’ll get to the my biggest concern mentioned in my topic! Since I have trouble with the bead counting, I asked my doctor about using Prozac while I taper down. NOW, MY MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION HERE IS THIS. I am using 30mg Prozac now. Does anyone know the proper dosage of Prozac to use as I taper down each month? I know most of you believe in 10% at a time rather than 10mg at a time. I believe that there must be a proportion of Prozac to Cymbalta to use as I taper. There are so much success stories of using Prozac to supplement the Cymbalta tapering but nowhere, from what I researched, has ever explained how to do it properly. Can anyone help me out here? I am down 30mg, 90mg total from my 120mg starting point. For the 10% taper believers, I am still within the 10% tapering range. What I am getting anxious about is, as I continue 10mg a month, is how much more Prozac will need. I am on 30mg Prozac now, along with 90mg Cymbalta. Will I need more? It sucks I can’t rely on my doctor’s advise. After all, he did not understand why I failed 30mg at the beginning and the Prozac idea was my idea that I learned about from withdrawal forums. Can anyone help me? Thanks for reading my story. I wish everyone well that is suffering withdrawals as I am. I feel like a prisoner and an addict. I just want this stuff out of my system. Cheers everyone!
  20. Have you taken/do you take more than 80 mg of Prozac? I'm currently on 80 mg. I was doing pretty well a couple of months ago, but have started feeling mildly depressed in the past six weeks. I'll talk with my pdoc about this next week, but was curious to know if anyone had experience with more than 80 mg. Thanks!
  21. I never know if I feel normal, or if I even remember what normal feels like, or happiness even. When I was 12 years old, I was happy. I got bullied, I was fat, lazy, but I was happy. I had motivation and emotions. But I remember stumbling upon a bottle of xanax on top of my fridge, looking at it for weeks, contemplating taking one. I eventually took 1, and I remember feeling like everything was alright, none of my problems mattered. It started as a once a week thing. And then an every day thing. And then, I found a bottle of adderall, when I was 13 I think. Xanax and adderall, my life was perfect. I knew I had ADHD, because I learned about it when I was 10 or 11 and I knew I had it. Eventually my dad found out I was stealing his pills, my parents stopped trusting me, and shit went down. I turned to DXM, coricidin, triple Cs. I spent my entire 8th grade year tripping on DXM, and at this point I was being treated like a labrat being put on antipsychotics, SSRIs, etc. and I know for a fact I mixed prozac and DXM a few times. My band broke up, I lost all but one of my friends, and I was either high or in a chemical lobotoby all the time. I never finished my freshmen year of high school, because I went in and out of treatment bullshit clinics, abusing the cotton from benzedrex inhalers (feels exactly like meth, but with more side effects). Ended up repeating the grade. Sometime when I was 15 or 16, I ended up losing that one friend I had because he got me addicted to morphine and I got him addicted to klonopin, long and confusing story. Dropped out of highschool when I was 16, have been mostly complient with psych meds for the past 4 years, minus a series of hospitalizations, but after that, I'm still almost completely complient. But I just don't feel right. Sometimes I take a break from all meds, for a week, to see if I'll ever feel normal, but I just feel either doped out, stupid, tired, wired, or brain damaged. Is there hope for me, to feel normal (I've been anhedonic and schizoid for years) if I just take my meds (focalin, neuroprotective) , (clonidine, cardioprotective), and lexapro (SSRIs possibly deplete receptors but they eventually grow back, or not, I don't know.).
  22. My first episode psychosis started June 2013, after a very stressful period which lots of problems happened at the same time and after some sleepless nights. For one week I was living in another world! I completely isolated myself and had lots of delusions and paranoid thoughts. I was thinking there was a conspiracy and all my family and friends are plotting against me. I was thinking they are controlling my internet and watching me through hidden cameras. I thought that I had a tumor or very dangerous illness and they are not telling me the truth. I was thinking they have spoken with a psychologist and he is telling them what to. All Facebook posts and emails I was receiving was a part of that plan. I didn't know what I am doing and I was writing crazy stuff on Facebook, thinking everybody is following. I also had a very strange and strong headaches and I was taking whatever pill I could think of, but none of them was working. I also had some recurring thoughts, for example reading the same comments 100 times or listening to the same music from dawn to dusk. My brain was like in a loop with obsession to specific thoughts. I didn't really know what I was doing. After that horrible week, one night I slowly remembered what I did and wrote. I realized that something is wrong with me but I didn't know what! I thought that I am becoming crazy and I cried a lot. In the morning I was calm and I thought that everything is finished. I was very happy until the headaches started again in the evening. At this point I went to the ER, and after many tests including brain MRI and Lumber puncture, the neurologist said I don’t have any physical problems and probably I have psychosis. I didn't accept that and until the end of August I still believed that I don’t have psychosis and the doctors are not telling me the real problem. They started treating me with Abilify which made me tired and after several days I had restlessness. I can say it is the most horrifying feeling in the world. I had some strange dream-like feelings and I was thinking I’m dying. Every day I was thinking of how to kill myself. I never thought that I could become better. My situation got worse and doctor stopped the Abilify and started Risperdal. After a while I had restlessness again and some very devastating feelings. Doctor reduced the dose and with this change the situation became manageable. But the problems with Risperdal was that it blocked my brain. I couldn't do anything and I was just lying in bed waiting for time to pass. After some weeks I had very severe anxiety and many panic attacks. I was thinking I was becoming crazy and I was suicidal. Doctor gave me Lorazepam and Valium on demand. I also had problems sleeping, having nightmares and night terrors. Doctor gave me some addictive sleep aid pills so I could sleep. In this horrible three months, I was still delusional and I was still thinking people are following me wherever I go, or monitoring me through cameras and so on (But I was thinking everybody is trying to help me!). Doctor said probably I have paranoid schizophrenia but he wasn't sure. Last week of August, I was less delusional and the doctor stopped Risperdal because I couldn’t do anything and my body wasn't adapting to it. But soon after, that strange headaches started again. So doctor started Zyprexa 5 mg and warned me about the weight gain and diabetes possibility. I started a diet and going to the gym. Fortunately, not only I didn't gain weight but I also lost 7 kilograms on it. Zyprexa was a miracle drug for me and all the delusions disappeared and I finally accepted my illness! My anxiety and panic attacks also get better. I reduced the dose to 2.5 mg after a while and I could sleep without sleeping pills. But after a while, I went into a severe depression and mode swings. I didn't have motivation for doing anything and I was sleeping 12 hours a day. Doctor gave me Cipralex (Lexapro). After just a week I had a terrible anxiety so I discontinued but the anxiety didn't go away! After that I struggled with anxiety for several months. I was using Xanax, Valium, Rivotril, etc. to calm down. In March, doctor started 10 mg of Prozac and my depression and anxiety got better after several weeks. In May, I reduced Zyprexa to 1.25 mg and after 2 weeks I stopped it. But severe anxiety and bad feeling started and I restarted taking 1.25 mg again. Since 2 weeks ago (July) I reduced to 0.625 mg and had a little anxiety and insomnia. But it went away after some days. I’m now quite well but still tired in the mornings. I can do my everyday tasks but I still have problems with concentration. I am planning to stay at this dose and after some weeks make it every other day and then cut it off. Is this a good idea to stop taking Zyprexa since I didn't have delusions or paranoia for about one year and am feeling normal? My other question is I don’t know what exactly my illness is!! If I had a first episode psychosis and fortunately I will not have another episode, or I am Schizophrenic? Thank you for reading my long story. Any comments would be appreciated.
  23. Hey guys, So I finally managed to get off the Effexor (thank God). I then tried taking Prozac to help with the withdrawal symptoms and just as a general med for depression and anxiety, however, I felt it did nothing to help my anxiety and it was also giving me crazy heartburn. So I am switching to Zoloft. As of yesterday I am on 5mg Prozac and 25mg Zoloft for the next four days, coming down from 10mg of Prozac. I have had some pretty unpleasant physical symptoms and am now worried about serotonin syndrome, because, you know, anxiety disorder. Since yesterday I have had constant, pretty severe nausea, aching in my legs, stomach cramps on and off, headaches on and off, and shivering. No fever as far as I can tell, and I haven't thrown up (um, yet) either. I usually have similar issues when tapering, minus the leg aches, but I can't help but feel a little concerned. Do I need to worry or should I just tough out these symptoms and not worry?
  24. Sorry so long. I'm just really frustrated here So, I have migraines and I've been prescribed Imitrex for about a year and a half now. I am also on Prozac. I don't think I was on Prozac at the time I was originally prescribed the Imitrex. I've been on Prozac in the past, though it was before I was ever really diagnosed with migraines. So, I'm Bipolar-I and I've been having a really hard time coming out of a recent depressive episode. I told my pdoc that Prozac has helped me before, and while she was originally hesitant, she finally gave me some, first 10mg and now up to 20mg. The other day, the pharmacist asked me if I was taking the Imitrex and the Prozac and I said yes and he told me not to, that it can cause seizures and serotonin syndrome. Well, I am shocked and dismayed. I had no idea, and I've been taking them both. I looked it up, and sure enough, Triptans (such as Imitrex) act on serotonin in the brain, so taking SSRIs with them can basically poison you with serotonin. I'm already on anticonvulsants (Lamictal and Trileptal), for my Bipolar that I are also sometimes used for prevention of migraines. I have a little less migraines, but I still get them. So, I need to call my neurologist and see if there's anything else that can help me. Has anyone here actually taken Triptans with SSRis, or am I really basically shit out of luck on this one? I certainly don't want to get serotonin syndrome. But I tried looking up what else can help me with my migraines and I didn't find too much, aside from something called Midrin. I also saw that beta blockers or calcium channel blockers "might" be preventative. I often take store brand Aleve to try and help my migraines before they get worse, but it doesn't usually do anything. And I don't thing plain old pain killers are going to help me with my nausea and cognitively impaired feeling. The fuzzy feeling I get is very bothersome, especially while I'm at work. Imitrex clears it right up usually, and I become functional again. Also, has anyone per chance had any luck with any other migraines medications that don't act on serotonin? I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. Don't know if I should get rid of the Prozac and ask for Wellbutrin instead. All I know is I need both an anti depressant and something to abortively treat my migraines, as I'm already on things that slightly prevent them. Again, sorry this was so long.
  25. For my depression I take 40mg. I am also on seroquel for sleep. Recently I feel as though prozac is no longer working and I have been slipping back into a serious depressive episode. I'm due to talk with a pdoc soon but was wondering what sort of antidepressant I should maybe try? I had really unpleasent side effects for about 3weeks with prozac when I started (shaking, nausea, sweating, cramps etc) and initially some sexual dysfunction but that was all. I have been on prozac for 6monthes. Initial dose was 20mg, then 30mg and now 40mg. One of the biggest things with my depression is fatigue and tiredness. I am hardly able to get out of bed and somedays its impossible. I am afraid to lose my job again to this. This crippling sadness and apathy that gets me. Augh. Suggestions? Not even really specific drugs but maybe how to go about changing or research showing which ones are more effective for the 'cant get out of bed im so tired leave me alone to die' kind of depression? I dunno. Guess all depression is like that. Anyways. Stopping the rambling madness.
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