Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'self injury'.

More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
    • Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
    • Depression - Let a WHAT Be My Fucking Umbrella? (Sod You, Perry Como)
    • Self-injury - The Cutting Board
    • Personality Disorders - Fuck Off! No, Wait. Fuck Me Now!
    • Eating Disorders - Hell's Kitchen
    • Substance Abuse / Addictive Behavior - 8-balls, Highballs, Deal Me in One Last Time
    • Panic / Anxiety Disorders - What, Me Worry?
    • PTSD and Trauma- Duck and Cover. Again and Again.
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Click Here Repeatedly
    • Social Phobia - Behind Paranoid Eyes
    • Dissociative Disorders - Now where was I?
    • Schizophrenia and Various Psychoses -- Jesus Had a Twin Who Knew Nothing About Sin
    • ADD/ADHD - Could You Say That Again? I Was Listening to My Head.
    • Autistic Spectrum Disorders - What Part of English Don't You Understand?
    • Migraines and Other Headaches - Not Tonight, Dear
    • Neuropathic and Chronic Pain
    • Seizure Disorders - Shake, Rattle and Roll
    • Sleep Disorders - Perchance to Dream
    • Allergies: Benadryl? No, But I Have a Cousin Who Was a Dremel.
    • Hormone and Glandular Problems - How Do You Make a Hormone? Kick Her in the Ankle.
    • Not Otherwise Specified - Put your finger on your NOS, on your NOS
  • Meds and Other Crap That Make Life Tolerable
    • Anticonvulsants / Mood Stabilizers - Bodies A-Twitchin', Moods A-Switchin'
    • Antidepressants - If You're Crappy and You Know It
    • Cocktails - Medicated to the Gills and Floundering
    • Antipsychotics / Neuroleptics / Major Tranquilizers - The Acme Pill-O-Matics
    • Miscellaneous Medications & Miscellaneous Questions About Meds
    • Benzodiazepines - Take a Chill Pill!
    • CNS Stimulants - Warped & Wired
    • Side Effects - It Turned Me into a Newt! A Newt? I Got Better.
    • What The Hell is THAT? - Medical, Nutritional, and Lifestyle Alternatives
    • Therapy - The Other Half of the Puzzle
    • ECT etc. - Watt's up, Doc?
  • Crap You Read About
    • Academic Interests - Geek Out While You Freak Out
    • Books Reviews - Self Help and Otherwise
  • Life Cycle: Mate Spawn and Die
    • Family Feud
    • Parenting/Pregnancy/Childhood Issues - Nature or Nurture
    • Relationship Issues - Crazy For Loving You
    • Aging Issues: Hot Flashes and Hot Rods? Midlife Crisis, Menopause, and Beyond
    • Spirituality - Luminous Beings Are We, Not This Crude Matter
    • Grief, Death and Dying
  • Your Crappy Life
    • The Health Care System Sucks!
    • Law, Money, and Employment -- Send Lawyers Guns and Money
    • Technology Sucks! - Luddites Unite!
    • News and Politics - Next on Sick Sad World
    • People Suck!
    • Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgendered Issues - Out of the Closet and Out of Our Minds
    • Intro to Being a Crazy Student - Whatsamatta U
    • The Confessional
    • I've *Still* Got Issues!
  • Other Crap
    • Whatever
    • I Got the Good Stuff Here
  • Generic Forum Crap
    • Board News - Incoming Message from The Big Giant Head
    • Suggestion Board - I'm Sorry Dave, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That
    • New User Info - It's Not Easy Being Green
    • Introductions - Who The Hell Are You?
    • Moderators - Pay No Attention to the People Behind the Curtain
    • Test Board - Do Not Push the Big Red Button!

Found 12 results

  1. Self harming.

    I have been self harming since I was 11. I'm 21 with a job in healthcare and I still can't stop myself from cutting. Its become a custome. That's my go to when I'm stressed, upset, lonely, sometimes even if I'm bored. I just like to have cuts or burns or scratches on me at all times. Its like a secret that I don't have to share its amusing to me in a way. I feel almost naked if I don't have at least a few cuts on me at any given time. I've tried to stop and for a while I did, but I just keep turning back. I want to move forward with my life but its like I'm stuck In a hole that I can't climb out of. I see everyone around me moving on with their lives and I'm stuck here hurting myself with no control over anything. My anxiety is to bad to seek help. I just feel like I would be better off dead because dying just seems so easier, more realistic and more inviting than trying to live a normal life.
  2. Yesterday, I self injured in my sleep. This happened once before, and I am scared of this happening again. I'm taking my meds as prescribed, but I'm wondering if this is a sort of sleep walking, and if there is anything I can take to prevent it. I suffer from anxiety and post traumatic stress and past physical abuse issues. Any advice is appreciated.
  3. I live with Bipolar I, PTSD, and inattentive type ADHD. As a result, I have a history of SI. Last summer I was hospitalized for almost a week bc of my injuries and a psychotic break. Lately I have been fantasizing about SI. I have two very specific, gruesome scenarios that I think about. Although I have not acted on them, these fantasies soothe me to the point that I have trouble falling asleep unless I am thinking about them first. Last night my husband asked me if I was OK. He said I seemed "off." I relented and told him about the fantasies in all their graphic glory. While I was talking, he was frequently distracted by his laptop. When I finished telling him my story, he immediately began talking about our next vacation with no comment about what I'd just said. So is telling a loved one about SI urges and fantasies a bad idea, even if they ask? I feel like he couldn't care less even though he asked!
  4. Just want to get better

    Hello. My name is Lisa. ive been struggling with the addiction of cutting since 14 years old. I am now 28. I have good months and I've even gone a year without cutting. Recently I went back to self harming. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel sad constantly. I have an amazing husband that treats me like a princess but I still just don't feel good enough. He knows my cutting history and does everything to support me. I started seeing a therapist again.. and I hope that starts working. I can't talk to any of my friends about my struggles. It would be nice to have someone to lean on that can keep me strong. Just need people that understand the addiction. Thanks for listening.
  5. Feeling Hopeless

    I posted this in the depression board and no one was recalling finding it so I'm moving it here. "I don't have a lot of time to get the message out as I am currently hiding in the restroom at work.... I just need to get it out. About 2 Or 3 weeks ago I started thinking about self harm. I have a pretty long past with it and always seem to turn to it. The problem is my husband gets so angry and blames himself when I do and then he babies me for months like I'm just gonna go jump off a bridge if he's not watching me 24/7. That's the only reason I don't. Because he gets annoying. Well yesterday I was passed up for ANOTHER promotion by my partner who, although has worked for the company a tiny bit longer then me, she's actually only been at our store for like 5 months.... I needed that promotion... It was my ticket off night shift (which takes a huge toll on me, any over nighter can tell you) and a higher pay check which means I could've gotten meds or a tdoc. I hate my job so much I've called in 3 times this month just because I can't get myself out of bed to go..... I've been walking around with a rubber band on my wrist for these few weeks snapping the crap out a me and tonight I think I may have caused a blood blister.... :/ I'm not happy with this situation at all..... I just want to be happy again and like my work..."
  6. I feel like sometimes everything just seems to happen at once, or at the worst time possible. I haven't been able to afford my medication, and so haven't taken it in over a week, and on the weekend my partner and his dad got in a massive argument over our room being untidy (we live with his parents until we can afford our own place), which resulted in me hurting myself, which I'd so far managed to avoid doing for months. On that evening I got a call from my mum telling my my Grandad had passed away, and though I knew it was coming, I wasn't expecting it so soon. I just feel like everything is piling up around me and there's nothing I can do. Because I work full time I can't see the outreach worker I only just got off the waiting list for, and the only decent therapist I've had has a massive waiting list too. I honestly just feel quite lost.
  7. I cut a couple of days ago, a bit deeper than I usually go, and I'm really worried about one specific cut. Could it be infected??!? I really hope it isn't, as I can NOT tell my parents, I'm not ready to tell anyone.... Also, what should I do to help the cut heal? And if it is infected.....is there any way I could just leave it alone and hope for the best? Or do something myself? I'm wayyy too scared to tell a doctor, as I would have to tell my parents first. By the way, the cut is a bit more than an inch long and on my thigh.
  8. So, you may have read my post about Deep TMS and how it saved my life. Unfortunately, my feelings were short lived. My last treatment was Wednesday 4\27\2016. As soon as I tapered down to one treatment a week, I was sent into a depressive fog. I became suicidial, depressed, isolative, and started to self injure. My treatment team is very aware and I live in a boarding home so I am pretty safe. I am on suicidial checks and also just hang out in the community. I, still am on the end of my rope. So, next step: ECT. I hope it works. Peace.
  9. I finally made an appointment with a counselor, which is a step in the right direction. I haven't had a real appointment yet, just an intro to get the gist of what's going on, make sure I didn't need emergency help etc. I want to be open about stuff because I really want to get better but I'm kind of nervous of talking about everything. I'm scared I'll get reported or they'll recommend I get committed or something. I don't think I'm any worse off than the majority of people struggling with stuff, I just want help. But once you take about what's going on you can't take that back. I feel like saying that I want to do something will mean to them that I will do something. I'm not suicidal at all (and have never been, actually) I'm talking more along the lines of SH or daydreaming about stuff like that. How honest are you with your counselor? Do you tell them everything that's really going on? I've never gotten help before so I think I'm just nervous about the unknown. I just want to get a grip on my life.
  10. I did not put this on the 'Self Injury' board because this topic is not about Self Injury or recovery specifically, but about scars. I figured it would be more appropriate here because of the context and content. But of course, any mod or admin can move this where it may be most appropriate. Warning: contains triggering content. I talk about self harm, scars, and wounds. I also provide a link below which has more info, and a picture of the kind of scar (scar, not wound FWIW) I am referring to for reference. If you are triggered by ANY of the mentioned content, please do not read further! ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** I had Social Anxiety since I was a toddler, but didn't develop clinical depression until I was a teenager. I started self harming when I was 13 with burning (with erasers - which didn't cause scars), but when I was no longer satisfied I found out about cutting through internet "friends" when I was 16. At the time I didn't know about 'hypertrophic scarring', or that I was one of the *lucky ones*(sarcasm) who was predisposed to it. A hypertrophic scar (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypertrophic_scar) is a scar that has excessive amounts of collagen which makes it look raised, and never looks healed. And getting stitches makes the scar look worse, because the collagen builds over the stitches. Hypertrophic scars are red, and sometimes pink or bright white. They are also thicker than they are supposed to be because of the collagen that builds up. And no matter how old they are they itch like hell when they get wet. They are sometimes even painful when they get hit or poked. I once used a edged pocket knife which required stitches, and only felt brave enough to tell someone what I did because I was told that if I "got stitches I wouldn't have a scar". To this day, it's the worst scar I have because the collagen grew over the stitches and the scar is raised and is pink and white. You can actually see each stitch still. Because the collagen grew over. Each. Stitch. I only Self Harmed for a year, and hypertrophic scars is huge reason why (as well as cutting only made me feel guilty). However with hypertrophic scarring, it doesn't have to take a knife to make me scar like that. A cat scratch, when a dog jumps on me and slides his claws on my skin (but doesn't cause blood), when my own nail gets caught, an accidental cut, even a scrape when I slide against something - every cut or scratch I get leaves a white, pink, or red, raised scar or mark that itches. My scars cause A LOT of negative attention from doctors (not worry BTW). So much so its annoying. I haven't SI'd in 10 YEARS and I get lectured on visits. A lot times the conversation get's sidetracked away from the reason why I am there (Neurology, Gastroenterology, GP, etc.) and directed towards my scars and they talk about cutting/"how depression can mimic *insert why I'm there*. And when I interrupt and tell them about my scars and "look, they are obviously old, I haven't SI'd in 10 years".....the look on their face is priceless. But the fact the conversation NEVER get's back to me being a serious patient, infuriates me. Does ANYONE have issues with scarring like this? Especially who has dealt with Self Harm and so has a lot of them (and thus has the same kind of issues)? How do you deal with people, and your very NOTICEABLE scars? How do you deal with the scars themselves (is there ANYWAY to treat them...because Mederma is out of the question)? I have tattooed over some of my scars (it takes a couple of sittings BTW-they soak up ink). Other tattoos (from crappy artists) have CAUSED hypertrophic scarring ON the tattoos where there were no scars before!
  11. This article gave me a merciful, positive way to look at myself after I mess up and cut after I've been trying really hard not to. I like trying to see myself in a different light that doesn't leave my feeling so down and depressed. Cuz I'm not perfect but I try. If you need some encouragement, I would highly recommend reading it. https://hopeshearth.wordpress.com/2015/04/23/celebrate-victories/ Are there other things that you all come across that inspire you to keep going? Please share!
  12. If you've read the guidelines, you will know that this forum is focused on recovery and understanding the reasons behind self harm. While we prefer to concentrate on the underlying urges that feed this behaviour and in finding alternatives, we recognise that many of our members still need detailed assistance in figuring out their own circumstances and options. This includes what to do with (1) basic wound care, (2) judging whether or not to go to an ER or seek medical assistance, and (3) how to start the road to recovery and understand what's going on. The links below have been vetted by our mod team, and each contains compassionate and practical information which we hope you will find helpful. We encourage you to read through them, and post on the forum itself if you still have questions. A guide for those who self injure (excellent article with links which speak about reasons for self injury, treatment and recovery) Self injury help, support and treatment (another excellent and up-to-date article which speaks about myths, facts and understanding) Caring for self harm wounds (detailed information on caring for injuries) Self injury treatment checklist (for use if you have to go the ER and don't feel able to speak in detail about your situation) Signed, The SI Mods